CyberRecovery Page 10

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
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Principles
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"Experience shows that few alcoholics
will long stay away from a group
just because they don't like the way it is run.
Most return and adjust themselves
to whatever conditions they must.
Some go to a different group, or form a new one.
In other words, once an alcoholic fully realizes
that he cannot get well alone,
he will somehow find a way to get well and stay well
in the company of others."
Bill W., Letter, 1943
c.1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 312
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Thought to Consider . . .

It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill
- just add a little dirt.



*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H A L T = Honestly, Actively, Lovingly, Tolerant.

I've been in this space for sometime now, thing's are getting real boring and im starting to feel like all of this, going to meeting, and stepwork, just dont want to do anymore. I want to hang out with old playmates, I miss the party life. Im bein honest about this, I do want to use! I've had talk to my sponsor and other people in my network, asking them to pray for me, and im asking my family here to do the same, please. Im a true believer in prayer, prayers work, just like the program works. Just to let the newcomer know, the program works, Im in a bad space right now, and i have been here before, so dont think that program dont work. Someone said in their post, that they are hanging on by a thread, i can truly identify with you. I just dont know anymore, im in the need for some LOVE and UNDERSTANDING !

Truth

Today, I accept that without truth there is nothing. Truth is the soil out of which sustenance grows and nourishment comes, so that we can move in healthy directions. Lies have no food value and starve my spirit; but truth though it can hurt, has a way of hoeing and tilling the soil so that some new growth can occur. Even though knowing the truth may seem unnecessary somewhere inside, I know it anyway. Bringing truth out into the open gives me a chance to lift the veil of secrecy that has made a wound feel like a dark hole. It allows angst to transform and break into a thousand little somethings that each contain usable and illuminating information that can again nurture health and life.

I am willing to live with truth.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Healing

Sometimes, healing doesn't feel good. Sometimes, it involves deep pain. The effect of healing is gentle, freeing and wonderful, but the road leading to it can be hellish. Now, I understand what the Psalms mean by, 'valley of the shadow of death.' They were referring to a spiritual enlightenment involving a death and a rebirth. In order to be born into enlightenment, it is necessary that I face and clear out the dark and scary parts of myself. I need all of me for a life of spiritual freedom.

Today, I know that I was never alone along the way, and that I need never feel alone again.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Hi I am a Newcomer to this site. I have very recently gotten sober. I have 9 days. I am an alcoholic and addict. I have been sober from Crack, Cocaine and herion for 2 years on November 1 09. However I started drinking heavily after that. I was drinking about a fifth and a half a day give or take. I have known for some quite sometime that I wanted and Needed to get sober. If anybody has any words of wisdom for me or any suggestions about meetings or literature please feel free to let me know. Thanks so much. : ):sad::confused::blush:

I can't explain this. I have had blackouts and brownouts. Full nights that I can't recollect and choppy memories of other nights that even photos with me in them cannot trigger a response.

I have lost count of the number of drinks, yet the day after, I am only lethargic, a bit mentally foggy (feel tipsy until early afternoon or so) and dehydrated. I don't experience the pounding head, nausea hangovers that even my friends who drink less than me experience.

I'm not sure it is fortunate, but I cannot explain this. Anyone else experience this?

Small town meetings $*#@ . Me and my wife are in recovery and we wont it bad this time. We do make meetings but its the meetings from hell small like 6 ppl and they judge you like theres no tomorrow. I have resentments going so bad right now I dont go to the NA meetings right now. I will be back later with more. I do need your in put but i have to get the kids from school.
You all be blessed
Peace & Love
Thanks:mad:

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
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Touchstones
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"All AA progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words:
humility and responsibility.
Our whole spiritual development can be accurately
measured by our degree of adherence to these
magnificent standards.
Ever deepening humility,
accompanied by an ever greater willingness
to accept and act upon clear-cut obligations --
these are truly our touchstones
for all growth in the life of the spirit.
They hold up to us the very essence
of right being and right doing.
It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God's will."
Bill W., Talk, 1965
c.1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 271^*^*^*^*^

Thought to Consider . . .

The solution is simple.
The solution is spiritual.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
S O B E R = Simply Observe Bill's Exemplary Recovery

Seriousley you help out with sooooo many people in the toughest battles of their lives. You guys have turned around hundreds if not thousands of lives and you guys should feel so Great Inside for being able to do that. I just have to give Each and Everyone of you who has made 1 Post in response to someones thread thanks. You don't know these people, but yet you are changing their lives around. No Matter the Drug, No Matter the Addiction, were all battling and so many of you understand it'd unbelievable to get so many different unique spirit-lifting responses from all of you.

Thank You

just back from my first aa meeting - as i said earlier it was a closed womens meeting - 10 of us - very comfy, sitting around drinking coffee and eating chocolate biscuits while they told me their stories - some very horrific, others a little horrific and i feel like a fraud because i have not had to hit rock bottom - keep going the way i was i probably eventually would. i used to find a bottle of wine would make me very very merry - some would say not so merry - more like arguementive - i don't know when after a bottle i would really really want to open another - just a glass - hmmmmmmmm!! it became a real effort then to stop at that just one more glass - and a bottle was finished in such quick time - i always felt like looking for leak in the bottle - surely i couldn't have finished it already - no wonder i want another. when going out to the movies with a bunch of girls from work we always go out for coffee but because of me we would have to go somewhere they served wine so i could have a glass or two while they all had coffee - i sort of was embarrassed but not enough to have coffee eh!!! oh, and ringing my family late at night when i thought i was soooo entertaining - shame!!!!! always had to ring up next morning to apologise - yuk!!! and while my darling husband enjoys a wine and knows when to stop, i watched while he shook his head on the way to bed as i open another bottle and hear him say, goodnight, i love you but please sleep upstairs tonight. so taylorleigh, maybe i am not a real deal alcoholic but thank god for honey barbara and aa so i never have to become one. so am i a fraud, can i go back next week and say what i have said here without looking holier than thou - cos i am not - ???? goodnight, sleep well all, aroha hetiheti:17:

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
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Loneliness
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"Almost without exception,
alcoholics are tortured by loneliness.
Even before our drinking got bad
and people began to cut us off,
nearly all of us suffered the feeling we didn't quite belong.
Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others,
or we were apt to be noisy good fellows
craving attention and companionship,
but never getting it -- at least to our way of thinking.
There was always that mysterious barrier
we could neither surmount nor understand. . .
That's one reason we loved alcohol too well.
It did let us act extemporaneously.
But even Bacchus boomeranged on us;
we were finally struck down and left
in terrified loneliness."
c.1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 57
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Thought to Consider . . .

Isolation is a darkroom where we develop negatives.


*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H A L T = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

I stumbled across this website today due to a very horrible night and an even worse morning. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and currently struggling with the residual effects it has left on my life, in all aspects. I've just recently sought counselling for this matter and will be attending my 2nd session in 2 days. Unfortunately in the meantime, i'm at a complete loss and it is ruining everything.

Does anyone understand how I feel? Sigh......

Don't forget to set your clocks back an hour earlier before you go to bed Saturday night. We get an extra hour of sleep. :29:

While my husband, friends, family and I know I have some problems with alcohol (namely limiting my consumption and at scarce times behavior) and have for a few years now, I do NOT consider myself an alcoholic. I understand to be alcoholic you don't have to live on the streets and have lost everything but at 29, I HIGHLY doubt a few shaky mornings, some blackouts and drinking frequently make me an ACTUAL alcoholic... the real deal alcoholic.

The problem is I almost resent people then who call themselves an alcoholic on recovery sites who are less adversely impacted than I am by alcohol or who drink a couple of drinks and stop and just because they do it every night they call themselves an alcoholic. If this were true, it would automatically make me one and that is something I cannot stand for.

I like alcohol too much and I use it as an escape but Lord knows I'm not a 'real alcoholic'. I would just benefit from cutting back or stopping. Is this resentment I have toward self proclaimed alcoholics normal or am I a jerk who will be detrimental to this forum?

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
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/AA\
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Humility
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"Moved by the spirit of anonymity,
we try to give up our natural desires
for personal distinction as AA members
both among fellow alcoholics and before
the general public.
As we lay aside these very human aspirations,
we believe that each of us takes part
in the weaving of a protective mantle
which covers our whole Society
and under which we may grow and work in unity.
We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity,
is the greatest safeguard
Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have."
c.1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 187
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Thought to Consider . . .

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
but thinking of yourself less.


*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
S W A T = Surrender, Willingness, Acceptance, Trust

For the next few days I have to attend a seminar led by someone who gleefully and publicly exhibits all the behavioral signs of an addict or dealer (either that or he is an ACOA himself.)

It might not have been so grating had I not (1) inadvertently been seated next to him; and (2) not have been in recovery amongst more mature and socially cognizant people for several years.

Of course he isn't "all bad" as a speaker or group leader, but in the effort to connect with and "entertain" his audience (composed of less than 10 other adults with children,) he gets into this Party High Life persona, which is more suitable for one of those incredibly sleazy dating/hookup shows on cable TV; or perhaps it is as though he's modelled himself after a sleazy, immature rap star...

It could be passed off as comedy, except that his routine is injected with unnecessary, random shouting; and inappropriate references to strip lounges and what have you! :35: :268: :2: :rolleyes: This is mixed in with with more appropriate material, and I can see that he is attempting to display that he is "down wit da play" or in regular English, "an insider in the know," etc.

However, given the inappropriate and disrespectful interjections in his presentation, one would have thought he was addressing a group of teenagers who needed to be "Scared Straight"...A pregnant woman sitting at the conference table had to ask him to can his negative attention-seeking, gross-out the audience routine a couple of times (wherein he insisted upon conveying in gruesome detail some fast-food industry practices--my elementary school-aged boy was doing exactly the same thing until I began to correct him!) :sad:

It seems an odd way to lead, or to model beneficial behavior, to say the least.

But the reason that I'm here complaining is that the inappropriate, random shouting, immaturity, and references to sleazy partying/sexual exploitation triggered me after having to sit next to it for several hours.

I coped by looking at the wall...the desk...pretending I was on the bus, next to a bunch of obnoxious teenagers...But it was uncanny how this guy's "routine" sounded almost exactly like my A-Dad! :25: Granted, they probably spent some of their formative years in the same metropolitan area, so could well have picked up the same mannerisms from a common culture.

This is not only a generational, but also a cultural disease. How else could men 3 generations apart all believe that acting like a wanna-be pimp or rap star is the path to male bonding? :16: (My Dad was born during WWII; this seminar trainer looks about my age; and a younger guy he was addressing--using a Snoop Dogg or Flava Flav persona!--looked under 30.) It was creepy how a man of a different ethnicity, on the opposite side of the country, could exhibit exactly the same drunk persona that my Dad does--and worse yet, believe that it's appropriate! :sad:

(Why do people like this think it makes them cool or powerful to emulate the mannerisms of pimps, pushers, etc.??) And worse yet, why do they need to fake ethnic ghetto accents when they do this?? :16:

Anyway, the random shouting (raising his voice to get attention--as if that is what makes a dynamic speaker) and nonsensical, schizophrenic blabbering of this man started giving me PTSD symptoms. The lack of respect, maturity, and self-control displayed by this man who not only demands attention like a child, but simultaneously claims to be a knowing leader made at least 2 women (myself and the pregnant woman) disgusted. In my case, I decided to sit on the opposite side of the room from now on, because even though I didn't visibly react, the shouting, disgusting stories, etc. wore my nerves thin.

I felt like Anita Hill, and this dink claiming to lead the seminar was acting like Clarence Thomas after a couple of morning belts!

The thought of sitting thru this for the rest of the week had me so tense I was twitching in bed, instead of sleeping, so I figured I may as well air my frustration here. I thought about complaining to his supervisor, too.

hi, today is my sixth day of not drinking - i am doing ok - more than ok - but !!!!!!! is it normal to feel sad - sad that i can never sit down with a nice meal (i am a dedicated foodie) and a good wine to match the food ??? is this normal - am i just rationalising a need to drink ??? or is it ok to feel like i have lost a good friend - ok, my good friend turned toxic because i could not find a stop button - but i still feel like that. tomorrow will be a week and on thursday i go to my first a.a. meeting - that will be interesting - i think?? if anyone can tell me they felt like this too, i would be interested to hear from you - i suppose this feeling will fade eventually.
but i am enjoying feeling great - and i will hold onto that feeling.
it has been so great to read everyone's comments - i particular appreciated "a look at relapse" - two comments read true to me - cockiness and complacency - they will be my downfall if i am not very careful.
thank you all so much for sharing - aroha, hetiheti:17:

A Prayer by Joyce Meyer


Dear loving God, I want to think thoughts that honor You. I want to have a mind that's fully centered on You, and I know that can't happen unless I spend daily time with You. Help me, Holy Spirit; help me to be obdedient and eager to be in constant fellowship with You. Amen.
-From Joyce Meye

Focus on speaking words in faith today; keep your confession truthful but positive. Don't deny the existence of your circumstances, but confess what God's word has to say about your situation.

For example, if you are sneezing, coughing, and finding it difficult to breathe, it isn't truthful to say you aren't sick. But you can learn to present a negative situation in a postive way. You can say, "I believe God's healing power is working in me, and that I am getting better all the time."

by Joyce Meyer

He's Not Heavy—He's My Brother



"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."1

You may have read how "when Sadhu Sundar Singh and a companion were traveling through a pass high in the Himalayan Mountains. At one point they came across a body lying in the snow. Sundar Singh wished to stop and help the unfortunate man, but his companion refused, saying, 'We shall lose our lives if we burden ourselves with him.'

"But Sundar Singh would not think of leaving the man to die in the ice and snow. As his companion made his farewell, Sundar Singh lifted the poor traveler onto his back. With great exertion on his part, he bore the man onward, but gradually the heat from Singh's body began to warm up the beleaguered frozen fellow, and he revived. Soon both were walking together side by side. Catching up with his former companion, they found him dead—frozen by the cold.

"In the case of Sundar Singh, he was willing to lose his life on behalf of another, and in the process, found it; but in the case of his companion who sought only his own well-being, he only lost it."2

As the caption of the painting (housed at Girls and Boys Town National Headquarters in Nebraska) of the "Two Brothers" commissioned by Father Flanagan back in 1943, and copied from the original statue done in sandstone, says, "He ain't heavy, Father … he's m' brother."

When we treat a needy person who crosses our path as our brother (or sister), the rewards of carrying them until they can get on their own two feet will far outweigh the burden of the load.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to treat each person you bring into my life as a brother and/or sister and be willing to help them when they need a helping hand, to help lift their spirit when they need an encouraging word, and to help carry their load when it is too heavy for them to bear alone—as you have done for me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Galatians 6:2 (NIV).
2. Source Unknown


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