CyberRecovery Page 9

The K-LOVE Encouraging Word for Sunday, 1 November 2009:
There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NLT

Learn to say I am

"This is for you," my friend said on my birthday.

I opened the tiny box with that feeling most women get when they know they're about to receive jewelry. I was right. I lifted out the necklace and held it in my hand.

"Read the brochure that comes with it," my friend encouraged.

I picked up the tiny leaflet. The necklace was more than a piece of jewelry. It was an ancient symbol that represented self-confidence-- that intangible thing that can so easily enhance, or distract from, our ability to joyfully and peacefully live our lives.

It was exactly the reminder I needed.

The next day, I drove to the airport for my flying lesson. I wasn't exhilerated to be flying that day, but I wasn't dreading it, either. I was simply living each moment. It was time for me to get into the pilot's seat and fly the plane.

I taxied down the runway, then pushed in the throttle, wearing the self-confidence medallion around my neck. The plane lifted happily into the air. I gently took us up to five thousand five hundred feet. Following Rob's instructions, I turned left, steeply. Then I did a steep turn to the right. I did a power-on stall, something that had horrified me in the past, then a power-off stall. The airplane and my flying worked.

It was a breakthrough day in flying. Until then, I had been acting as if, going through the motions, making myself fly. Today, I genuinely enjoyed my time in the air.

The necklace didn't have any power. The power came from remembering to believe in myself.

It's easy to give up confidence in ourselves. We can give it to people from the past who encouraged us to not believe in ourselves. We can give it to mistakes we've made, building a solid case against ourselves based on some lessons we went through, past errors in judgement, and learning experiences. We can forfeit our confidence to a traumatic event-- like a divorce, a death, or a loss.

Don't panic.

Breath.

Stop saying, I can't.

Part of the language of letting go is learning to say, I can.

Give the gift of confidence to yourself.


God, I believe in you. Now help me learn to believe in myself,too.

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed The Creator. They picked one scientist, to go and tell The CReator that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to The Creator and said, " Creator, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

The Creator listened patiently and kindly to the scientist and after he was done talking, said "Very Well! How about this? Lets have a man making contest."

To which the scientist replied, "OK, great!"

But , The Creator added, "now we're going to do this just like I did, back in the old days with Adam".

The scientistsaid, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

The Creator looked at him and said, " No, no, no. You go get your own dirt."

THERE'S AN END

"For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. ..."
- 2 Corinthians 4:17 (NLT)

Someone once remarked, "If it weren't for death, life would
be unbearable." As strange as that may sound, it's actually very true. Right
now, we're locked into this fallen and broken world. Pain, suffering, and
affliction are just part of the package of living here on earth. It comes with
the territory, and it always will as long as we're on earth.





But there is a way out. We won't always be locked into this
condition. Whether it comes through the natural process of physical death or
whether it comes via Christ's return, we're going to shed the mortal bodies
we're in right now and become just like Him (1 John 3:2).





We're going to leave this world behind and enter into God's
actual presence in Heaven. And when we do, all of our trials, afflictions,
sufferings, and troubles will vanish away forever. The book of Revelation
expresses it best:





I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, "Look,
God's home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be
his people. God himself will be with them. . . . He will wipe every tear from
their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All
these things are gone forever." (Revelation 21:3-4 NLT)





As real as our suffering is right now, its absence in
eternity is just as real. No matter what your trials entail right now, they
aren't forever. God guarantees they will eventually end, and when weighed
against what awaits you in heaven, all the hardships you've ever endured are
going to seem quite light.




Godspeaks

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
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(\ ~~ /)
( \ (AA)/ )
(_ /AA\ _)
/AA\
^*^*^*^*^
Trudging
^*^*^*^*^
"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.
Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows.
Clear away the wreckage of your past.
Give freely of what you find and join us.
We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit,
and you will surely meet some of us as you
trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you -- until then."
c.1976AAWS, Alcohlics Anonymous, p. 164
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Thought to Consider . . .

I didn't know how sick I was until I started getting better.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
F A I T H = Fantastic Adventures In Trusting Him

He is especially kind to the lambs

(J. R. Miller, "The Life of Jesus")

"I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep!" John 10:11

The shepherd is a favorite Scriptural picture of the divine love and care. In the Old Testament, the twenty-third Psalm gathers the whole wonderful truth in exquisite lines which are dear to both young and old, wherever the Bible is known. Then in the New Testament, when our Lord would give His friends the sweetest revealings of His heart toward them, and tell them what they are to Him, and what He would be to them--He says, "I am the Good Shepherd."

The earthly shepherd lives with his sheep. If they are out in the storm, or exposed to any danger--he is with them. Likewise, Christ lives with His people--in all their afflictions, and all their storms. He enters into closest relations with them.

The earthly shepherd knows his sheep. He has a name for each one--and calls them all by their names. Christ knows each one of His friends, and has intimate personal knowledge of each one. He knows the best in us--and also the worst. He knows our faults, our sins, our wanderings. Yet, knowing us as we are--He loves us still, and never wearies of us!

The earthly shepherd is most gentle with his sheep. He does not drive them--but goes before them and leads them. When they need rest on the way, he makes them lie down, and chooses for their resting-place, not the dusty road--but green pastures. He is especially kind to the lambs, gathers them in his arms and carries them in his bosom. All this is an exquisite picture of the gentleness of our Good Shepherd, in His care of His sheep. He is thoughtful toward the weak. He loves the 'lambs' and makes room for them in His bosom. Whatever the need is, there is something in the heart of Christ which meets its craving, and supplies its lack.

The earthly shepherd defends his flock in all danger. Often he has to risk his own safety, even his life, in protecting his sheep. Just so, the Good Shepherd gives His life for His sheep. Christ's sheep are absolutely safe in His keeping. "I give them eternal life, and they will never perish--ever! No one will snatch them out of My hand!" John 10:28. Then at last He will bring His own all safely home, "and they shall become one flock, one Shepherd."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Grace Gems

Hello all, i am posting in the newbie forum b/c i feel like one (and really am). I have been in and out of the rooms and honestly the only thing i have gotten from them, whether a curse or a blessing not sure, is to NOT drink/use. So I have been sober over 5 years now but i feel like i have not grown socially whatsoever. The rest of my life financially is much better but spirtually and socially i am a coward, wreck. Basically i have gone back and forth and realize that idon't have enough motiviation to work with a sponsor and do the steps so i am not even going to try again. My question as kinda depressing as it sounds:

should i hold out and "wait for the miracle" (it would be a very large one) and stay a dry drunk, very lonely living alone and not talking to people (occasionally i will go out with team in training etc but most of the time i am silent b/c i am too god **** self-conscise, alchohol fixes that very quickly and i feel like myself and careless in front of strangers).

or should i just frequin drink and see what happens. I still feel like drinking is the soultion to my problems which will inevitably end of in some disasters but honestly at this point i don't really care. My life is so boring and pointless right now it is not really worth living (no i am not really suicidal).

I also get extremely self conscise at meetings and hoonestly was only going to them so i could meet a girl yet problem is i can't talk to them. So literally after 2 years of going to meetings its like HELLO you will not get anything if you don't say anything so i gave up going.

the books says drink if your not convinced. It doesn't sound like i want it and i am not 100% sure i am an alchoholic, just about 90%. I think my mine problem is my social phobia that i am trying to fix but i dunno. Anyway starting to ramble, thanks for reading.

Hi Mike...just needed to post and get some feedback. I am visiting my sister (up north on a short vacation from Florida) and yesterday was my birthday. My niece and my 4 year old daughter wanted to make me brownies to celebrate and I was taking pictures of them baking when I saw my niece put a teaspoon of vanilla extract in the mix. I know it has alcohol, but figured I have eaten plenty of desserts, cookies etc. in sobriety that have been made with it, and had no problem - either because I couldn't taste it or because of it cooking out. When it was time for my "brownie cake" I was caught up in the moment and excited to try what they made (my daughter's first time baking). While cutting it into pieces it was very fudgy and my niece remarked how their oven wasn't working well and it might not have cooked all the way. I hesitated for a moment and thought "oh, I'm being ridiculous - this is fine - I'm not going to let something so silly bother me or keep me from tasting something they made special for me. So, I took a few bites and that was that. Well, this morning I woke up and my head is going in circles and worrying about it, beating myself up, etc. I did not taste any alcohol nor was I intending to get drunk on a brownie, but my head is going "well, you should have refused it, not taken a bite, etc - you slipped, blah blah blah. I know that this is my diease f-ing with me but I just needed to share about it. I know now that I have to be more cautious in the future and perhaps avoid eating anything that might be triggering to me, but would anyone consider this a slip? My sponsor says no, just one of the lessons we learn along the way in sobriety. I normally am extremely paranoid about this stuff - asking waiters in restaurants if there is alcohol/wine in anything, but never thought much about desserts and vanilla. I just celebrated 6 years in recovery and would hate to think I blew it with a brownie! Any experience with this?

hi all - day 10 - double figures eh! still honeybarbara and i often gave up 3 weeks or so - to prove we were not alcoholics and usually celebrated the end with a bottle of wine - hah! who were we kidding - yes just ourselves - so my difficult time is yet to come - but onto my silly question:
was making lunch for a friend today and of course to appease my habit of having a wine while cooking i made myself a gorgeous mocktail served in a beautiful wine glass - and she asked: should you not be trying to get used to not even having a drink? should I????
when my husband and sister are having their wine or beer i make myself a mocktail - usually a fruit juice, lime and diet tonic or soda and ice - very refreshing - and i really enjoy it - i don't really have to give up drinking good drinks eh????
what do you all do ............. ?????:17:

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
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(\ ~~ /)
( \ (AA)/ )
(_ /AA\ _)
/AA\
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Principles
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"Experience shows that few alcoholics
will long stay away from a group
just because they don't like the way it is run.
Most return and adjust themselves
to whatever conditions they must.
Some go to a different group, or form a new one.
In other words, once an alcoholic fully realizes
that he cannot get well alone,
he will somehow find a way to get well and stay well
in the company of others."
Bill W., Letter, 1943
c.1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 312
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Thought to Consider . . .

It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill
- just add a little dirt.



*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H A L T = Honestly, Actively, Lovingly, Tolerant.

I've been in this space for sometime now, thing's are getting real boring and im starting to feel like all of this, going to meeting, and stepwork, just dont want to do anymore. I want to hang out with old playmates, I miss the party life. Im bein honest about this, I do want to use! I've had talk to my sponsor and other people in my network, asking them to pray for me, and im asking my family here to do the same, please. Im a true believer in prayer, prayers work, just like the program works. Just to let the newcomer know, the program works, Im in a bad space right now, and i have been here before, so dont think that program dont work. Someone said in their post, that they are hanging on by a thread, i can truly identify with you. I just dont know anymore, im in the need for some LOVE and UNDERSTANDING !

Truth

Today, I accept that without truth there is nothing. Truth is the soil out of which sustenance grows and nourishment comes, so that we can move in healthy directions. Lies have no food value and starve my spirit; but truth though it can hurt, has a way of hoeing and tilling the soil so that some new growth can occur. Even though knowing the truth may seem unnecessary somewhere inside, I know it anyway. Bringing truth out into the open gives me a chance to lift the veil of secrecy that has made a wound feel like a dark hole. It allows angst to transform and break into a thousand little somethings that each contain usable and illuminating information that can again nurture health and life.

I am willing to live with truth.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Healing

Sometimes, healing doesn't feel good. Sometimes, it involves deep pain. The effect of healing is gentle, freeing and wonderful, but the road leading to it can be hellish. Now, I understand what the Psalms mean by, 'valley of the shadow of death.' They were referring to a spiritual enlightenment involving a death and a rebirth. In order to be born into enlightenment, it is necessary that I face and clear out the dark and scary parts of myself. I need all of me for a life of spiritual freedom.

Today, I know that I was never alone along the way, and that I need never feel alone again.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Hi I am a Newcomer to this site. I have very recently gotten sober. I have 9 days. I am an alcoholic and addict. I have been sober from Crack, Cocaine and herion for 2 years on November 1 09. However I started drinking heavily after that. I was drinking about a fifth and a half a day give or take. I have known for some quite sometime that I wanted and Needed to get sober. If anybody has any words of wisdom for me or any suggestions about meetings or literature please feel free to let me know. Thanks so much. : ):sad::confused::blush:

I can't explain this. I have had blackouts and brownouts. Full nights that I can't recollect and choppy memories of other nights that even photos with me in them cannot trigger a response.

I have lost count of the number of drinks, yet the day after, I am only lethargic, a bit mentally foggy (feel tipsy until early afternoon or so) and dehydrated. I don't experience the pounding head, nausea hangovers that even my friends who drink less than me experience.

I'm not sure it is fortunate, but I cannot explain this. Anyone else experience this?

Small town meetings $*#@ . Me and my wife are in recovery and we wont it bad this time. We do make meetings but its the meetings from hell small like 6 ppl and they judge you like theres no tomorrow. I have resentments going so bad right now I dont go to the NA meetings right now. I will be back later with more. I do need your in put but i have to get the kids from school.
You all be blessed
Peace & Love
Thanks:mad:

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
^*^*^*^*^
(\ ~~ /)
( \ (AA)/ )
(_ /AA\ _)
/AA\
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Touchstones
^*^*^*^*^
"All AA progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words:
humility and responsibility.
Our whole spiritual development can be accurately
measured by our degree of adherence to these
magnificent standards.
Ever deepening humility,
accompanied by an ever greater willingness
to accept and act upon clear-cut obligations --
these are truly our touchstones
for all growth in the life of the spirit.
They hold up to us the very essence
of right being and right doing.
It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God's will."
Bill W., Talk, 1965
c.1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 271^*^*^*^*^

Thought to Consider . . .

The solution is simple.
The solution is spiritual.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
S O B E R = Simply Observe Bill's Exemplary Recovery

Seriousley you help out with sooooo many people in the toughest battles of their lives. You guys have turned around hundreds if not thousands of lives and you guys should feel so Great Inside for being able to do that. I just have to give Each and Everyone of you who has made 1 Post in response to someones thread thanks. You don't know these people, but yet you are changing their lives around. No Matter the Drug, No Matter the Addiction, were all battling and so many of you understand it'd unbelievable to get so many different unique spirit-lifting responses from all of you.

Thank You

just back from my first aa meeting - as i said earlier it was a closed womens meeting - 10 of us - very comfy, sitting around drinking coffee and eating chocolate biscuits while they told me their stories - some very horrific, others a little horrific and i feel like a fraud because i have not had to hit rock bottom - keep going the way i was i probably eventually would. i used to find a bottle of wine would make me very very merry - some would say not so merry - more like arguementive - i don't know when after a bottle i would really really want to open another - just a glass - hmmmmmmmm!! it became a real effort then to stop at that just one more glass - and a bottle was finished in such quick time - i always felt like looking for leak in the bottle - surely i couldn't have finished it already - no wonder i want another. when going out to the movies with a bunch of girls from work we always go out for coffee but because of me we would have to go somewhere they served wine so i could have a glass or two while they all had coffee - i sort of was embarrassed but not enough to have coffee eh!!! oh, and ringing my family late at night when i thought i was soooo entertaining - shame!!!!! always had to ring up next morning to apologise - yuk!!! and while my darling husband enjoys a wine and knows when to stop, i watched while he shook his head on the way to bed as i open another bottle and hear him say, goodnight, i love you but please sleep upstairs tonight. so taylorleigh, maybe i am not a real deal alcoholic but thank god for honey barbara and aa so i never have to become one. so am i a fraud, can i go back next week and say what i have said here without looking holier than thou - cos i am not - ???? goodnight, sleep well all, aroha hetiheti:17:

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
^*^*^*^*^
(\ ~~ /)
( \ (AA)/ )
(_ /AA\ _)
/AA\
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Loneliness
^*^*^*^*^
"Almost without exception,
alcoholics are tortured by loneliness.
Even before our drinking got bad
and people began to cut us off,
nearly all of us suffered the feeling we didn't quite belong.
Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others,
or we were apt to be noisy good fellows
craving attention and companionship,
but never getting it -- at least to our way of thinking.
There was always that mysterious barrier
we could neither surmount nor understand. . .
That's one reason we loved alcohol too well.
It did let us act extemporaneously.
But even Bacchus boomeranged on us;
we were finally struck down and left
in terrified loneliness."
c.1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 57
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Thought to Consider . . .

Isolation is a darkroom where we develop negatives.


*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H A L T = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired