Weekly Discussion Topic

[jalanm]

Thank you for meeting this week, and thank you Tammy for letting me post. My topic for the week is Financial Recovery. Due to my disease, my family's finances have suffered, and there is quite a bit of financial woes. We are in the midst of unraveling all the mistakes I had made, the troubles I have created, and the amends I have to make. It is not easy admitting the disastrous path of deceit, dishonesty, and just plain screw-ups I have done during my drinking times, but with the help of my higher power, a large amount of humilty, and the forgiveness of my wife, things are indeed looking better. We may lose a few things, but they are only material things. What we have gained are more important, longer lasting, and things we have worked for.

[peajaye]

Financial woes are upon me, I am afraid. God blessed me with a wonderful job that protected me from facing consequences but have gotten into trouble with credit cards several times. Mom bailed me out twice and this time (I lost the great job) don't want to own up to her how bleak the situation is. I have another job and make less than half what I was making.

So with the money I wasn't partying with and even money I no longer spend on cigarettes I simply continued to live above my means. When I entered sobriety, I didn't really have any financial amends that I am aware of since I paid as I went.

It just occured to me though that at a year sober, I had a car reposessed which effected my ex's credit since he cosigned. It never occured to me to offer any kind of restitution or financial amends for that. My sponser never suggested it either.

I did make amends to him, but not on any financial basis.

This is a great topic, much food for thought here.

[Prescott]

Good Morning, It took me quite a long time to repair my finances. Over time and with payments and proper on time payments in recovery I managed to dig myself out around year 2. By year 6 and with intensive medical care for Barbara I was again faced with going bankrupt. I managed (with payments again) to pull myself out in less than a year. I no longer fear my financial responsibilities, but I also stay right on top of them daily. :1:

[eve3]

grateful now to say when i was using i never had any credit cards or check books,thank god,i took loans out on my social security check meaning...fill out a fake deposit slip deposit and withdraw but...the first of the month they took it right out of the check when it was deposited it hurts getting an account today,i still have 1 in the same bank though why i cant figure but im grade ful for itsince ive been clean an on the streets the first couple years back @ work i could hardly keep a roof over my head,i did the enie menie mini mo with the bills which 1 would i put money on this week it was very difficult,they took my social security check and i didnt know what i was gona do then barly enogh to pay rent with just enough for food,didnt give up though stayed clean had an accident at workan was told i couldnt return to tthat job cus i could become parrillized from the work i hadda perform lifting pushing,pulling...after a year and 1/1/2 i settled for 10 grande not much but i have mantained clean/sober and an apt and some furniture any bills pending were paid off and i got a job in recovery sorry i got way off thrack...eve

[Bruce T.]

Hidy-hey, family.

Financial recovery for me is an impossibilty. I'll never have that good payin' career back, I owe hospitals and doctors more money than I've made in my life, and am now dependent on Dear Old Dad to meet most of my financial needs, though I do now have a low paying part time (but most rewarding) job.

I know this will sound presumptuous, but I have turned my financial "recovery" over to my HP, knowing that he will meet my needs and even sometimes my wants as well. He does this through His people, i.e. Dad, my employer Roque, public assistance programs run by loving people, etc. I'm not mooching or taking advatage, but am humble enough to accept help from my fellow man having full confidence that the origin of the help I receive comes from God.

However, I'd still like to win the lotto, but that means I'd have to buy a ticket.
:lol:

Bruce " broke but not broken" T.

[jalanm]

The road to any recovery is not an easy one to travel. It takes time and self-realization to uncover the problem, to admit and accept, and to deal with it in a sane manner. It does get easier however with reliance on a Higher Power, and doing the things that need to be done. God Bless, and thanks to all who have shared so far.

[admin]

For me financially it's not what it used to be (thank you Lord) but we still have a ways to go. With 2 daughters still in High School and 1 now in college it may take a while. But you know when it comes right down to it God always provides me with what I need. Thank you. :195:

[janbear]

Step 9 asks me to make direct amends. That also included a financial amends. I learned in recovery that means to get what i owe together and when i make amends to the person give them the money, and as hard as it was, i did it and felt so much better and a burden lifted.

In the "Promises" in the Big Book it indicates that fear of economic insecurity will leave us. I have come a long way with this. I had a lot of fears about money when i came into recovery at times obsessed with the idea that we would never be ok financially, that i would never feel comfortable financiallly. More, more, more money was what i thought i needed to feel finacially secure. We had paying jobs and a roof over our heads and food. Today, we have far less money than when i came into recovery. Today we are both on
Social Securtiy Disability. And i am so much happier. I am not obsessed with the Almighty Dollar. I found the more i devoted myself to living the program , working the steps, i became less interested in that and far more interested in maintaining my spiritual condition with God. Thanks for letting me share.

[admin]

Jan's post jogged my memory. There was a person that I didn't make financial amends to because to do so may have cause more harm than good. So I handled that by doing something for others and in turn making amends for that. This was something I had heard about a person could do in my situation to make amends. An example of something you can do is to give recovery books/materials to those who need them or give anything else to anyone who needs something.

[janbear]

I understand your point Tammy. "....except when to do so would injure them or others." I have one amends on my list that i can never fully make right to that person. Its not a financial amends. It could put me in physical danger and my sponsor said not to do that one. Sorry i got off track there.

[craig]

Jalanm, Your topic of financial recovery triggers sensitive issues concerning my lack of personal ambition. I have divulged to my sponsor,who has not picked up a drink in 46 and 1/3 years,that I did not have much of an ambition before I drank,during my 10 yearas of drinking and most of my 2 decades of recovery. Avoiding looking deep inside,I was content for many years in recovery to do little else except build a solid foundation in sobriety so I would not be taken out of the game of life. In doing so,there were times I had to soberly ask myself what were some of the contributing factors that added to my reluctance to join the work force. It came as no surprise that my biggest impediment was FEAR. It was fear of people,places,things and most importantly,Craig. So basically you can say that it was fear of our universe. Since childhood I had been overly protected from the rigors of life's reality. My parents,who adopted me @ 2 months ,had the best intentions however they spoiled me and were too kind and lenient when it came to me being responsible for my actions and inevitably my life. With low self esteem, as I felt so ashamed and humiliated that my birthmother gave me up for adoption,I needed to eradicate this emotional pain. Booze was my magical elixir. Having 3 breakdowns spending 6 (six) years) and 1 million dollars of the family's money in one of the top 5 long term "cracker factories",loony bins,or cuckoo nests,or madhouses, did not facilitate my yearning to join the workforce in a timely manner. So living on social security disability with other monetary aids has only made me acutely aware how frugal I must be. Also,as my needs are always met with my higher power,I must continue to change if I desire my wants to materialize. "Let the peace and love in the fellowship grow in you,one day at a time" Love, Craig:12:

[clean42day]

I am in the same boat as Bruce - most of my financial amends are in the form of medical bills and emergency visits to hospitals for suicide attempts or overdose's ...... i also owe more money in medical bills than I will make in the second most productive part of my life. only two personal financial amends - one to my brother and the other to a hotel where I broke a window out. other than that - The fear of financial insecurity has not left me yet. I am very aware that realistically if I were not in school and didn't have the inheritance that will run out in November - I am exactly 3 months away in savings from homelessness - and guess what? I have already survived that before loaded - I am sure if that is my worst bottom in recovery - I can surely survive it too. With God all things are possible and I have faith that if I have to travel that road I will not be alone, and I am more than willing to do it clean and sober.

light and love

gail

[marieclaire]

For me financially it's not what it used to be (thank you Lord) but we still have a ways to go. With 2 daughters still in High School and 1 now in college it may take a while. But you know when it comes right down to it God always provides me with what I need. Thank you. :195:
thank you, i really needed to hear your message. that God does for us what we can not do for ourselves