Friends

[Tbird12]

I'm newly sober 25 days, i've had the same friends since either high school (which isnt that long ago i graduate about a yr ago) or since i was 7, the 2 ppl i talk to from high school is one friend who i sorta talk to but have kinda fell off cuz she still drinks and the other who was helping me get sober because she is in a half way house and i was going to meetings with her, now she has a new bf and has no use for me, the 3 friends i have since i was 7, i barely talk to now, it's like when i was using they were mad at me and wanted me to get help, now im sober and they don't have time for me because they are eithe with their boyfriends, or are out partying, im so sad, i've done some ****ting things while using, but never to them, now that im sober i feel i have lost them because i've been going to meeting. i miss them so much but i know i can't hang out with them cuz when they have time for friends its when they drink, so i can't be included, i guess i have to make new totally sober friends, which is fine, but im i just miss my good friends

[dalin]

Hang in there bud.Remember,poeple,places,and things.It may sem extreem at first,but you will replace them with healthy freinds in recovery.
Eventualy some of them may join you in recovery.
I really had to work full time on me that first year tho'
Try to find other folks in your age group in your meetings,as well as other meetings in your area.
I go to n.a.,and alot of the crowd is younger here.
We have alot of younger guys in our area.
I have a sponsee that is a few years younger than me that
sponsors a few of them.
Pray about it.
Talk to your sponsor about it.Talk about it in meetings.
hit other meetings in your area.
Hang in there man...it works

[WendyB]

I agree with dalin.
I sponsor a girl who is 16. Talk about not fitting in in high school. All of her friends are adults in AA. It took her awhile to find where she felt like she fit in, but she never gave up. You will find a host of friends in the rooms. Just don't give up.:42:

[Tbird12]

yeah, when i was in high school my friends were a lil older so i didn't fit in w the girls in my grade then i started drinking and i was instintly popular cuz i had the car and i could bring everyone to parties, and i thought it was the greatest thing, but it didn't make me any happier, cuz i knew i didn't have any true friends, i just hope in recovery i find some new friends no matter the age that are true friends that can actually relate to me, im really looking forward to a new sober life

[WendyB]

i just hope in recovery i find some new friends no matter the age that are true friends that can actually relate to me, im really looking forward to a new sober life


You will find great friends! That is awesome!!:29:

[admin]

Hey Tbird, When we get sober, it is suggested we change our playmates and playpens. From experience I can tell you that the only person I hang with that I knew from high school is my hubby. The rest of our friends from that time have gone on with their lives as we have ours. Have you gone to any AA meetings? If you haven't, I suggest going to the meetings. I have made alot of friends in recovery face to face and online. Keep coming here and sharing with us. We are here for you also. :42:

[maria r]

i was so alone when i got sober/clean, no family, friends, saw no-one as i couldn't get out of my house. now i have a good friend in the fellowship, others who i am getting to know, and a sponsor i consider a friend, things change as we change
good luck in your new life tbird
maria

[fibiray]

Hi there T bird I love your posting. I can understand that you feel sadden by the loss or distancing of your old friends. However, I believe that some people come into our lives for a reason and once that reason has been met they leave. Another thing also is that once you get time up in recovery and you gain some clarity of thought, you will come to realise that some friends are best our of your life. I know when I came into aa I had an old school friend whom I knew since pre-school. Her absence in my life at the time was felt but as time went on and I began to get well and had time to really evaluate the relationship, i was to learn that it was not the most healthiest relationship that I had with her. While step 4 may be focused on looking at the wrongs we did it is also about looking at the things that we tolerated or put up with beause we didnt have the courage to do anything about it. Anyhow I think you will find the new friends that you now have and that you are yet to meet will more than make up for your loss. god bless and have a great day

Fi
xxx

[docwill]

Hang in there, T. The real friends will always be your friends. Some of 'em you already have and some you haven't met yet. You'll know 'em because you will be more important to them than partying.

[Doraine]

Keep coming to meetings you'll make new friends now that you're sober. Once I got sober I didn't have anything to do with my old drinking friends.

[Tbird12]

Thanks guys, you have been really helpful, i have been going to meeting but i need to join a group and get a sponser so i can start really meeting people in the program

[docwill]

Yeah, T that's the spirit of recovery. You never have to be alone again.

[eve3]

i was alone for a while my self and i was in carcerated as well when i got released to a prerelease program and had a bit of lee weigh with mtgs i was able to meet a few different people i still have only a handful of good freinds today with time clean i do have a strong net work and people who will be there no matter what and of course this family here and they ars a diffenite support system for me,keep coming and going to mtg it gets greater later youll c,eve

[Peanut]

Keep coming back T,:14:

You are worth it, there will always be fairweather friends. They come and go,:sad: but mostly they just go. The ones that care continue to hang around. I know for myself, I had to make the decision I didn't care what anyone thought about me, I didn't care what anyone said about me. I was doing this for me. One Day At A Time and Keep It Simple.:12:

We love you,

Blessings:smile:
Peanut

[Courtney Ellison]

Keep coming to meetings you'll make new friends now that you're sober. Once I got sober I didn't have anything to do with my old drinking friends.

That's a good point.

Today is Day #11 of sobriety for me. I have this one close friend, a colonel in the Air Force. He drinks, but he's not an alcoholic. It's just that he mentions the beer he has after a tennis match, talks about the whiskey he had with friends, and when we get together we usually have dinner with wine.

Now I wish he would just drop the talk about booze. We've been friends for 9 years, so I wouldn't want to just drop him, but as we start this new life of sobriety, I think it's crucial to develop a new circle of supportive, non-drinking friends.

I really appreciate Cyber forum. I just wish I weren't so far away in Russia and that someday I might get to meet the people posting here!

Courtney

[Peanut]

have this one close friend,

Courtney,
If you are able to get to some outside meetings; GO GIRL!!!! I'm am so glad you are sharing with us, but you need some face to face people to hang onto also.

Now I wish he would just drop the talk about booze. We've been friends for 9 years, so I wouldn't want to just drop him, but as we start this new life of sobriety, I think it's crucial to develop a new circle of supportive, non-drinking friends.

Just let him know how you are feeling about this situation.:idea:

Sometimes, we allow the fear of the unknown to just paralyze us. Keep in Touch.