NACR Daily Meditation

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NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Aug 22, 2007

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Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that
you may be healed.James 5:16

Sometimes honest confession can seem astonishing, impossible, and dangerous.
Because we have learned silence so well, we experience honesty as full of
risk. After all, if we are honest, then other people will know what we think
and feel. We will be exposed. The appearance of strength and competence
we work so hard to cultivate will have to share the stage with our weaknesses,
our failings, our sins.

When we practice honesty as a daily discipline, however, something happens
to us. The promise of this text begins gradually to grow in our lives. We
begin to heal. It is not a dramatic, once-for-all-time, quick-fix kind of
healing. Nor is it a private healing, a healing that happens only 'inside'
our heads or in secret with God.

Honesty leads to healing because people can now express their love for us
in practical ways. Honesty leads to healing because we no longer have to
pay the high tariffs that pretense demands. We heal because the experience
of acceptance counteracts the contempt we so easily heap on ourselves. We
heal because we are no longer alone. We heal because we are known and loved.

Honesty is a discipline with a promise. We will be healed.

Lord, give me the humility and
the courage
to practice confession today.
Heal me as I do the work of honesty.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Aug 23, 2007

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Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.Romans 12:15

We have many reasons, often what seem to be really good reasons, to be 'strong'. But if the bottom line of being 'strong' is to constrict the range of emotions which we allow ourselves to experience, what do we gain? We become people incapable of honestly experiencing the emotional realities of life. In this and many other ways we manage to avoid the clear biblical injunction to mourn with those who mourn. Our instincts are often to cheer other people up, to look on the bright side of things, to remind people of things they already know to be true. This text urges us to do the most basic of things. When it is time to mourn, we can mourn.

We can also rejoice when it is time to rejoice. It might seem like it would be easier to rejoice together. But this is not necessarily true. People in recovery have often experienced so many disappointments and betrayals that we find it difficult to experience good things. When something good happens, we expect that bad things will be waiting right around the corner. Instead of rejoicing, our instincts are to protect ourselves from the possibility of the soon-to-follow danger. We do our best to 'stay calm' so that we won't be disappointed. But again, this text urges us to do the most basic of things. When it is time to rejoice, rejoice.

The full range of life's emotions are to be experienced in community. As we share the most basic elements of life together, as we party together and hold each other in times of pain, we will become a fellowship distinguished by a capacity for honesty.

I rejoice, Lord You do not tell me to calm down. You do not warn me about getting too excited. You encourage me to celebrate. 'Party together', you say. I mourn, Lord. You do not tell me to cheer up. You do not tell me to 'be strong'. You encourage me to experience the pain. 'Weep together' you say. Thank you. Thank you for welcoming the full range of human emotions. Thank you for joy and sorrow. Give me the courage to weep with others. Give me the freedom to rejoice with others. Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Aug 24, 2007

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A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he
forsakes the fear of the Almighty.Job 6:14

At some point during the recovery process we re-examine our most fundamental
beliefs. A long process of sorting, examining and questioning takes place.
And, in that process, our relationship with God is challenged. It is possible
that our relationship with God will deepen and strengthen in the process.
But it is also possible that we will find ourselves pulling away from God.
We may find ourselves angry with God, or afraid of God, or unable to believe
in God at all. This can be a frightening experience. It can feel like the
very foundations of life are being shaken.

In times like this, we need many things. But at the top of the list is our
need for friends who will accept us even if we turn away from God. We need
friends who will not minimize our struggle or discount our feelings. We
need people who will not be shocked when we are full of rage at God. We
need friends who are able to hear the deep pain behind our words and who
know that this, too, is part of our healing. We need people who can see
beyond the immediate pain to the healing that can come.

Even when we forsake the fear of God, we need friends who understand, who
are committed to us for the long haul, and who plead with God on our behalf.

Sometimes I feel agnostic, Lord,
I just don't know anymore.
Sometimes I want nothing to do with you.
Where were you when I needed you the most?
Sometimes I despair, Lord.
Sometimes I can't seem to hope.

I need friends who will not abandon me, Lord.
I need friends who will be patient and grace-full with my anger and fear.
I need friends who will stay with me as we wait for you to show yourself
once again.
I need friends, Lord, who will give me courage to hope again in you.
Send help, Lord.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Aug 25, 2007

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How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my
heart?Psalm 13:1-2

Sometimes our spiritual distress is centered on questions about God. Where
is God? Why doesn't God help? At other times our spiritual distress is centered
on questions about ourselves. What is wrong with me? How come I'm still
struggling this much?

Doubts about ourselves can be profoundly troubling. We wonder if our faith
will survive the struggle. We wonder if our faith is strong enough. Often
we feel like spiritual failures. The kind of spirituality we have been taught
does not envision 'good' Christians as people who wrestle with their thoughts
and are sad everyday. We think of 'good' Christians as people who trust
God and manage to smile in the midst of any circumstances. When we can't
manage to do this, we question and criticize ourselves.

But wrestling with our thoughts and experiencing sorrow day after day is
often a part of the recovery process. It is not a sign of failure to engage
in this hard work. It is a sign of courage. And it is a sign that our faith
is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life. People of
real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in their
heart.

Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
And I am so weary of heart-sorrow.
How long, Lord?
How long does this wrestling and sorrow go on?

Help me, Lord, not to experience this struggle as spiritual failure.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Aug 26, 2007

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How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out
to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look
at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before
me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.Habakkuk 1:2-3,13

Where were you God? Where were you when I needed you? Didn't you see the
violence? The abuse? The injustice? Didn't you care? There are times in
recovery when we are full of questions about God. The pain of past trauma
can be intensified when we begin to struggle with these hard questions about
God.

It is important to acknowledge that these questions about God are not academic
questions. No theoretical explanation of the problem of pain will soothe
our raging, confused hearts. These are urgent, personal questions about
God and about God's involvement in our lives. We want to know that God sees
and cares and intervenes in our lives. We need God. We need God's love. We
need God's help.

It is an important source of encouragement to know that we are not the first
to ask these hard questions. There is clear biblical precedent for asking
difficult questions about God. People of faith have always struggled with
questions like these. We can take comfort and courage from knowing that
the prophets also asked urgent questions similar to our own.

God, I am afraid.
I don't understand.
Violence and abuse happen and you do not stop it.
You seem absent.
You seem uncaring.
I need to know that you see and care.
I am calling to you for help, God.
Please hear me.
Please respond.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Aug 27, 2007

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O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my
body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.Psalm 63:1

When a young child is separated from her parents, she will protest their
absence. She will experience sadness, anxiety, anger and a longing for her
parents to return. These intense emotions are not a sign of her failure
as a child. Her protest is a clear sign of how important her parents are
to her, of how much she misses them, of how much she loves them. At certain
developmental stages, it is a sign of emotional health for a child to protest
separation. At certain ages a healthy child will protest, will be angry,
will be afraid, and will long for the parents return.

If one or both of our parents was in some way absent from our lives during
our formative years, it will be easy for us to imagine that God will leave
us as well. We may experience silence and distance. And we may find ourselves
longing for God.

Just as it is good for a child to protest the absence of a parent, it is
good for us to protest when we subjectively experience God's absence. It
is good to give voice to our longing for God. It is good to write or pray
or talk about our deep need for God's presence and love. We can call out
to God. We can protest God's absence.

O God, do not be silent.
Do not be distant.
I miss you when you seem so far away.
I long for you to be close.
I long to know that you care about me.
I long for you, God.
Nothing can replace you.
No one can be God but you.
Do not be silent.
Do not be distant.
Come. Speak.
I need you. Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Aug 28, 2007

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Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the
child she has born? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I
have engraved you on the palms of my hands.Isaiah 49:15-16

We may experience abandonment from a spouse who turns away from us to their
addiction of choice. We may experience feeling like we have been rejected
by friends. We may struggle with memories of parents who were not compassionate
with us. Or memories of parents who 'forgot' us in one way or another.

And so we say to God: "You will abandon and reject and forget me
like all the others!"

Sometimes these experiences are so familiar that we expect them from anyone
we want to be close to, including God. It is a terrible fear to live with.
It creates deep distress.

God responds to our distress with words of reassurance. We are not always
able to take in reassurance that is offered to us. But there are times when
it can feel like a drink of cool water to our parched throats.

God says "I am not like all the rest. I will not forget you. Even if
your parents forgot you, or your spouse turns away, or your friends leave,
I will not forget you. I have tattooed you on the palms of my hand".

I will not forget you.

It may not be easy for us to comprehend, but it is very clear. God says;
"I will not forget you."

I need reassurance, Lord.
I want to believe
that you will remember.
But I have been forgotten before.
I know you are not like that.
I know it in my head.
But my heart forgets so easily.
Reassure me, today, Lord
of your unfailing love.

Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Aug 29, 2007

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Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely
as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.Hosea 6:3

There are days when we feel God's presence. We sense God's love. We see God's
power. But we do not always feel or sense or see. There are times of silence,
distance and uncertainty. There are the difficult times of waiting for God to appear. In times like this we may find ourselves both longing for God and fearing that God will come.

The longing comes because in our heart of hearts we know that there is no
recovery without God's gracious presence. If God does not appear, we are stuck,
bound, hopelessly entangled in dysfunction. If God does appear, it will
be like the sun rising - we will be able to see the way. It will be like
gentle rains which nurture us so that we can grow and thrive.

The fear comes because often we do not see God as one who comes as 'sun'
and 'rain' to give life. We are afraid that when God does appear, it will
be to punish us, to demand restitution from us, to shame us. Because we
have served vengeful and vindictive gods, we fear that it will be the god-of-impossible-expectations who will finally appear.

We do well to follow the urging of this text to 'acknowledge God'. We need
daily to examine whom we serve. When we acknowledge the god-of -impossible-expectations, then we will surely fear his appearing. But if we acknowledge the God of
the Bible whose coming is to nurture and give life, then we will await God's
coming like the dawn of a new day.

I acknowledge you, Lord.
You are not the god of impossible-expectations.
You are not the god-who-is-eager-to-punish.
I know what it is like when these other gods come.
They bring shame, blame and fear.
I do not acknowledge them, Lord.
I acknowledge you.

Come as the dawn of a new day, Lord.
Bring light into my dark days.
Come as gentle rain, Lord,
Cleanse, renew and nurture.
Come, Lord, as the dawn.
Come as the rains.
Water the parched earth of my soul.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Aug 30, 2007

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I
will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right
hand.Isaiah 41:10

Many of us struggle with fear. It is a very uncomfortable emotion. We would
be happy to be rid of it. It causes our hearts to race, our focus of attention
to narrow, and terrible possibilities to enter our minds. We wish we could
banish fear from our hearts by sheer will power. We wish we could simply
stop feeling afraid. Unfortunately fear is not dismissed so easily.

There is something about texts such as this one that leave us very uncomfortable.
The words "do not fear" seem like a simple command. God says "do
not fear". It looks like a simple imperative. Our job is simply to
obey. But, we cannot seem to obey. No matter how hard we try not to be afraid,
we cannot seem to make our fears go away.

The key to understanding texts of this kind is to see that when God says
'do not fear', it is not a simple imperative from an authority figure. The
words "do not fear" are spoken as words of comfort. And they are followed
by a specific promise of God's presence with us.

A loving parent speaks to a child who awakens from a nightmare with words
such as, "Don't be afraid. I'm here with you. You are safe." This
is not a rejection of the child's fears. It is not an instruction to do
the impossible. It is, rather, a promise of protection. If a parent says
only "Don't be afraid," then the child learns that the parent
doesn't understand and the child feels unprotected. But if the parent says
"Don't be afraid, I'm here with you," the child's needs are validated
and the child is comforted by the parent's protection.

God comforts us in the way a loving parent comforts a frightened child.
God says to us, "I know that you are afraid; but I also want you to
know that I am here with you. I will not leave you. I will give you strength.
I will give you help. I will hold you by the hand so that you will not fall".

You know, God,
how often I am afraid.
And you know the soil in which these fears have grown.
And you know how I have struggled to be free from fear.
Help me to draw courage today from your presence.
Be with me.
Give me strength.
Help me.
Uphold me with your hand.
Still my fears, God of all Comfort.
Still my fears with your powerful love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Aug 31, 2007

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And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:7

Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking.

And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds.

Both our hearts and our minds need protection.

When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we
allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we
will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of
protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds.



Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'.
It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. God can be
trusted to guard us because God cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see
most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. God
can be trusted to guard us because God knows from personal experience the
dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. God
can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because God has the resources
to do what needs to be done.

The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize
or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This
peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the
gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security
that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten,
that God is with us, that we are loved.

Guard my breaking heart today, Lord.
Guard my troubled mind.
Let your peace do its work in me, Lord.
because I am in danger and I need your protection.
Guard me with your peace today.
Guard my heart and mind.
Amen.

991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Sep 1, 2007

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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear
no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4

Sometimes the recovery journey takes us through the valley of the shadow
of death. It is a frightening valley.

What a difference it makes in times like this to hear God's promise to be
with us. It's not that the fears vanish, they don't always. But we experience
them differently when we are not alone. When we are alone our fears can
become the focus of our thoughts and feelings - they can consume all of
our emotional resources. But when our journey is a shared one, fear does
not have the same power over us.

God has made a very specific promise to us when we are going through the
most difficult of life's struggles. God has promised to be with us. It is hard to say how God's presence will be made known. Our subjective experience
of God's presence may vary widely. Sometimes when we least expect it, we may
hear the still, small voice of God saying "I am here". Sometimes
God will use a friend, a sponsor, a counselor, or someone in a support group
to speak to us in ways that help us to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes
God will give us a peace that needs no words.

The important reality is that God is with us. God does not come and go in
the way our experience of God's presence comes and goes. God does not forsake
us. God walks with us. Even through deep valleys.

God, I am walking through a difficult valley right now.
Sometimes I think my heart will give way with fear.
Remind me of your presence.
Sometimes I know you are here.
Sometimes I'm sure you have gone.
Are you really here?
Please walk close beside me.
I need your protection.
I need your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Sep 2, 2007

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If I go to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you
are there.Psalm 139:8

Sometimes life is hell. That's how it feels. It feels like we have taken
up residence in hell. Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us. Sometimes we
hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again.
Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted,
a place from which God has turned away.

But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'.
There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey. There are no
places unfamiliar to God. It is a difficult and painful journey, but our
lines of support are not stretched thin. God is not at a distance. God is
with us.

If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those
times in hell. If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional
and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.

No matter where I am, Lord
you are with me.
If I am up, today.
You are here.
If I am down.
You are here.
If I am very, very down.
You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down.
You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope
in the dark times of my recovery.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Sep 3, 2007

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In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what
we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us with groans that
words cannot express. Romans 8:26

When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability
to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more
that our weary hearts can muster - those are the times we need God's Spirit
most of all.

It is life itself to know that God pays attention to us. The Spirit of the
Living God is with us and is attentive to our weakness. God does not shame
us for our weakness. Our weakness is not a bad thing to God. Our weakness
is simply a reality. The Spirit's response to our weakness is to help us.
God is on our side. The Spirit knows us and loves us. God knows the pain that
crushes us. God helps us in our weakness.

In those moments when we have been silenced by life, the Spirit prays for
us. The Spirit prays with groans for which there is no language. When we are not
able to pray we can find comfort and hope in the promise that the Spirit
is praying for us.

Oh God
I need to be reminded when I feel so absolutely alone
that you know my pain,
you know my weakness.

When I come to the end of words,
when my mind is full of confusion,
help me to remember that you pray for me.

When I am overwhelmed with despair,
when I want to give up,
when I want to run away in fear,
it is only your presence,
gentle, powerful Friend,
that gives me hope and strength.

I need your help today.
I need you to pray for me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Sep 4, 2007

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When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through
the rivers, they will not sweep over you.Isaiah 43:2

There are times in the recovery process when it feels like we will drown
in sorrow. The losses, the betrayals, the failures threaten to overwhelm
us. The intensity of the emotional pain frightens us in times like this.
We feel ourselves loosing ground as life swirls around us.

This text states with great clarity two central truths which are critical
to our survival in times like this. First, God has made a very specific
promise to us. God says "I will be with you." This may not always
be what we want. We may want God to take the floods of life away. We may
want God to build dams upstream in life so that the danger of flood is diminished.
But, God's promise is clear. I will be with you.

Secondly, this text says very clearly "When you pass through the waters,
they will not sweep over you." God will protect us and see us through.
There are times in recovery when there just doesn't seem to be any way to
make it. Nothing is more painful in these times than to have someone who
stands at a distance express optimism about our recovery in a way that minimizes
the struggle. ["Oh, you're going to be fine. Stop worrying about it."]
Conversely, nothing is more valuable in these times than to have someone
with us who sees the danger clearly but who is able to be hopeful for us
and protect us and see us through

For your promise to be with me in the floods of life, God,
I give you thanks.
Help me to sense your presence.
For your hopefulness about my recovery,
I give you thanks.
Help me to share in your hope.
You are Life-Preserver to me, God.
Thank you.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Sep 5, 2007

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I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths
I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make
the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake
them.Isaiah 42:16

God leads blind people along unfamiliar paths. God promises to make rough
places smooth for sightless and disoriented people. God will not forsake
them.

During recovery we often feel sightless and disoriented. Our abilities to
see clearly are often very limited - we don't have enough distance on things
to give proper perspective. Denial leaves us blind. Rejected emotions and
ignored human needs can also contribute to spiritual and psychological blindness.



So many things in recovery are unfamiliar to us. We are not accustomed to
feeling what we feel, to talking about our experiences, or to trusting other
people. Honesty is new territory for us. All of this is not only unfamiliar
territory, it is scary territory as well.

But it is exactly to people like us that God makes promises. God makes promises
to sightless and disoriented people. God will guide. God will give light.
God will smooth the rough places. God will not abandon.

I can't see very well, Lord.
I certainly am not familiar with this path, Lord.
Are you sure you know where this leads?
This feels like a pretty rough trail to me, Lord.
Are you sure we can make it?

Be my guide, Lord, I am afraid.
I would be lost without you.
I cannot find my way alone.
Guide me, Lord.
Turn darkness into light.
Make the rough places smooth.
Do not forsake me.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Sep 6, 2007

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"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: 'Father, I
have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be
called your son'. . . But while he was still a long way off, his father
saw him and was filled with compassion for him."Luke 15:18-20

It is difficult to think and feel about ourselves in Godly ways. Many of
us think that the prodigal son got it right. He had a well-practiced speech:
"I am no longer worthy". How like our speeches to ourselves! If
you hear about your unworthiness often enough, especially in childhood,
and if you internalize the speech thoroughly, it becomes a part of you.
Many of us know this particular speech so well that we can feel unworthy
for no particular reason. We do not feel unworthy because of something we
have done or said. We feel unworthy because of who we are. Many of us even
think that the more unworthy we feel, the more likely the Father will be
to welcome us back home!

But the Father responds quite differently from the prodigal's expectations.
The Father was 'filled with compassion' and he ran to his son and he kissed
him. When the prodigal finally got his speech out, the Father did not spend
time arguing the point. Instead he 'honored' the son with a robe, a ring
and a feast. He treated the prodigal in ways designed to build a very different
kind of self understanding.

Our goal is to learn to think and feel about ourselves in ways that are
consistent with the way God thinks and feels about us. God's perspective
is a surprising contrast to our own. God does not join our internal chorus
which is so persistent at proclaiming our unworthiness. Instead God says
"You are my child. You are loved!"

Lord, I have not learned to think and feel about myself in healthy ways.
Teach me to think and feel about myself
in ways that are consistent with the way you think and feel about me!
Help me to listen when you say "I love you".
Help me to take it in.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Sep 7, 2007

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Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." But you are
a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.Psalm 3:2-3

We receive messages about ourselves from the important people in our lives.
We internalize these messages and carry them with us, repeating them to
ourselves as if they were gospel truth. When the messages are shaming messages
then the internal chorus chants "You are not lovable. You are beyond
repair. Even God cannot help you."

This chorus is a chorus of lies. The psalmist rejects these lies. And we
need to begin to reject these lies as well.

The Lord is a "shield around me", the psalmist says. A shield
protects. It comes between the blows of an enemy and a person's vulnerable
places. Most shields are small and can only protect a limited area from
attack. But the shield which the Lord provides completely surrounds us.
We can let this shield protect us from these attacking messages.

The psalmist also says that the Lord "bestows glory on me and lifts
up my head". Heavy burdens of shame, neglect and abuse have bowed our
heads. The Lord listens, pays attention and cares about us. God's love counters
the voices of our internal shame-chorus so that we can lift our heads. God
replaces our shame with glory. It is a picture of a ragged, neglected child
whose head is bowed and shoulders are bent. A king sees the child and goes
to him. The king gently lifts the child's chin until his eyes meet his own
smiling eyes. He asks the child to come home and live as royalty with him.
The child is loved, honored, protected. You are the child. God lifts your
head and bestows glory.

God help me to stop listening to lies about you.
Help me to stop listening to lies about me.
Be a shield around me.
Bestow glory.
Lift up my head.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Sep 8, 2007

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I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well.Psalm 139:14

We are God's creation. God made us. And what God makes is wonderful.

This may sound pretty obvious, but we probably need to remind ourselves
that it is not everything-and-everybody-except-me that is wonderfully made.
It is everything-and-everybody-including-me that is fearfully and wonderfully
made by God.

When we have learned to see ourselves as people without value, when we have
internalized contempt as the basis for our personal identity, it is difficult
to see ourselves as one of God's wonderful works.

But you are one of God's wonderful works. You are precious to God. You are
a unique, irreplaceable expression of God's creative love.

It is good to praise God for making us. It is good to see ourselves as a
reason for thanksgiving and awe. God made our minds, our emotions, our needs,
our bodies, our creativity, our longings, our hopes. God is a marvelous creator
who made us wonderfully.

You are one of God's wonderful works. You can praise God that he made you
wonderfully.

Thank you,
Creator God,
that you made me.
and that all that you make is wonderful
including me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Sep 9, 2007

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Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable
then they?Matthew 6:26

Many of us learn early in life that we need to earn our sense of value.
For some, value was earned by entertaining people with our clowning acts.
For others, value came from taking care of everyone else. And for others,
value was derived from achieving success of some kind. But often there is
no way to entertain enough, take care enough or achieve enough to meet our
needs for approval. No matter how compulsively we entertain, or care or
work, we still are not able to feel valued. These substitutes do not meet
the deepest longings of our heart. In addition we run the risk of becoming
compulsively attached to these substitutes because we fear that the sense
of value which they offer is our only hope of finding peace.

The longing to experience ourselves as valued is a fundamental human need.
The need is really a need to be heard, seen, enjoyed and loved by others
for who we are rather than for what we do. No amount of earned approval
can meet this need. We long to know that we have value simply because we
exist. This kind of value cannot be earned, it must be received as a gift.


Jesus says to us "you are valuable. Simply because you are, you are
valuable". The birds of the air are God's creatures. God sees them and
cares for them. God made them and God enjoys them. They are valuable. You,
too, are God's creation, made and known by God. God sees you and cares for
you. You are of great value.

As we grow in our awareness that our true value is a gift already given
to us by God, we can begin to let go of the tight hold we have on our substitute
strategies for achieving worth.

Father, you know how attached
I have become to earning my sense of value.
But, I can never seem to work hard enough.
Thank you, Creator God,
for valuing the birds of the air.
Thank you, Creator God,
for valuing me.
Help me to receive this good gift from you.
Help me to see myself as valuable in your eyes.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Sep 10, 2007

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Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.Isaiah 43:1

Abandoned. Neglected. Alone.

Many of us share these painful struggles. Unfortunately, many of us have struggled with them from very early in life. People from dysfunctional families often feel that they were never acceptable to their parents. Many struggle with the feeling that they can never be good enough to receive attention. If reinforced by rejection or abandonment from friends, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, we can easily conclude that we don't really 'belong' at all.

Humans have a deep longing to belong, to be emotionally bonded with others. Social isolation can be very painful to us. But social isolation may have felt like the only option open to us as children. Attempts at closeness may have meant experiencing control, abuse, rejection or loss. We may have pulled away to protect ourselves, even though it left us lonely and afraid.

God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

It may frighten us - this invitation to belong to God - even though we long for it. It may frighten us because we expect pain and disappointment, over-control and rejection. But gradually, as we continue the healing process, we can allow God to meet this deep need. We can allow ourselves to belong more and more to God.

Help me, God, to allow myself to belong to you. Thank you for calling me by name. Thank you for saying 'you are mine'. I want to belong to you, God. Help me to heal, Great Physician, So that I can accept my place in your family. Take away my fear, Father, give me the courage to belong to you. Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Sep 11, 2007

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For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do.Ephesians 2:10

God is a very capable craftsman. God's workmanship is of the highest quality.
We are God's workmanship. We are the art of a competent Creator.

Notice in this text that our creation 'in Christ Jesus' means that we are
competent as well. We are like our Creator in that we have been created
'to do good works'. God who is capable of good works made us to be capable
of doing good works as well.

This is quite a contrast to 'you can't do anything right'. In dysfunctional
families and institutions people learn to doubt their competence. This doubt
leads many people to work harder and harder to demonstrate their abilities.
In dysfunctional systems, however, no matter how hard we try, we can't try
hard enough. We learn that our problem is not that we are human and occasionally
make mistakes but that we are incompetent people. We learn that we are flawed
in a most basic way. No matter how compulsively we try, we can't ever get
it right.

This text is an affirmation of our competence, of our importance in God's
plans. God affirms us by saying "there are good things for you to do,
and I believe you can do them". Notice that the text does not say that
we need to do good works to earn God's love or to win God's approval or that
we have to do the work perfectly or compulsively. What is does say is that
God sees each of us as capable of good works. God invites
us to participate in the creative, redemptive work that God is doing in the world. God sees
us as capable.

You are competent, God.
Your works are good works.
It amazes me that you see me as competent.
Thank you for believing in me.
Help me to trust your words of affirmation.
Help me to find joy in doing good.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Sep 12, 2007

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This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our
hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is
greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.I John 3:19-20

Sometimes it is difficult to believe that we 'belong to the truth'. Sometimes
it is difficult to imagine having our 'hearts at rest'. The part of our
heart that is damaged by shame reminds us of all our inadequacies and failures.
As this text puts it, our hearts condemn us.

In the process of recovery many of us become aware that we have internalized
a voice of shame and self-condemnation. We may tell ourselves that we are
unlovable. "How could anyone care about me?" Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are worthless. "I'm no good." Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are not capable. "I can't do anything right." These are
some of the ways we condemn ourselves. We also may question our faith. We
may wonder, as this verse puts it, whether "we belong to the truth".
Because of our early experiences of rejection and our current self-condemnation,
we find ourselves expecting God to condemn us. As a result we cannot rest
in God's presence.

But God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything.
God knows our history. God knows the wounds in our past. God knows our humanness.
God knows our strengths and weaknesses. God knows our failures. God knows we
condemn ourselves and expect that God will condemn us as well. God knows that we need healing.


God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. And
God does not condemn us.

I long to set my heart at rest, Lord.
I long to rest in your presence.
But, my heart is full of self-condemnation.
The voices of shame are loud within me.

I am afraid that you will also condemn me, Lord.
I am afraid that you will agree with the shame voices.

Speak to me today, Lord.
Speak more loudly than the voices of shame.
Be greater than my heart.
Shame can only feed on the hidden things, Lord,
but nothing is hid from you.
Be more powerful than the shame, Lord.
Let me find rest today in your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Sep 13, 2007

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As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 103:13-14


We are not very understanding or tolerant of our limitations. We forget how we are 'formed'. Instead of accepting our creatureliness as a good gift from God, we often find ourselves being harshly judgmental and unforgiving of ourselves. This lack of compassion can lead to self-abusive and self-neglectful behaviors. When we forget how we are formed, we can forget to take care of such creaturely basics as sleep, decent food and relaxation.


Fortunately, God does not forget how we are formed. God remembers. God knows we have limitations. God remembers that we are 'dust'. Because we are so intolerant of our limits, it is important to emphasize that the metaphor 'dust' in this text does not imply worthless. It is not that God remembers how worthless we are - just dust to be sweep up and thrown away . Quite to the contrary, God remembers our weakness and limitations and has compassion on us. Again, because we are so intolerant of our limits, it is also probably important to emphasize that 'compassion' is not 'pity'. God does not pity us poor, pathetic, helpless mortals. Quite to the contrary, God's compassion is the tender, loving care of a good parent towards a child.


God knows and respects our limitations. They are not a surprise to God. God is our Creator. God remembers what we tend to forget. God remembers that we are creatures.


Thank you, Lord, for remembering what I forget.

You remember that I am human,

that I need to sleep,

that I need to play,

that I have limited strength and ability.

Thank you for having reasonable expectations of me.

Thank you for understanding my limits.

Help me to be compassionate with my humanness

Even as you, Lord,

are compassionate toward me.

Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Sep 14, 2007

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"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.
"Bring them here to me," he said.

Matthew 14:17-18

Sometimes after reading the newspaper or watching the news on television
we experience an intensely painful awareness of the enormity of the world's
problems and the hopeless inadequacy of the resources available to solve
these problems. During recovery we often experience these same feelings
of helplessness and inadequacy. Our personal problems seem enormous. Our
resources seem incredibly limited. Part of our denial comes from our desire
to avoid recognizing that our personal problems are bigger than our personal
resources. We will need resources more extensive than our own to make any
progress in recovery.


Fortunately, God has a long and consistent history of working with people
who have limited resources. It has been God's consistent pattern throughout
the biblical record. God's preference is to bring strength out of weakness.
The abundance which God brings from a few loaves and fishes is a clear sign
of the surprising resource-full-ness of God. God does not seem to be at home
among the well-nourished, the resourced, the un-needy. In a reversal of
all of our expectations, God comes to the needy and limited with invitations
to participate in the Kingdom.


When we see how few loaves and fishes we have, we become convinced that
our needs for nourishment will not be met. And we conclude that there will
be nothing left over to share. But the hopelessly limited resources somehow
turn into abundance when offered to God. There is enough for us and enough
to share. Each day, one day at a time, God accepts our limited resources
and surprises us with what can be done.


I am hungry, Lord.
I have not been getting the nourishment I need.
What I have is so limited.
A few loaves.
A few fish.
There will not be enough to go around.


I cannot imagine what use they will be
but I make my limited resources available to you.
Accept my limited resources, Lord.
I bring them to you for your blessing.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Sep 15, 2007

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"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"Mark 9:24


We live somewhere between belief and unbelief. Our faith wavers. At times
faith is strong and stable. At times it is weak, and shaken.


For many of us, our capacity for trust has been diminished by experiences
with people who were not trustworthy. We have learned by painful experience
that we will be disappointed if we trust. One of the most intense struggles
in recovery is to rebuild our capacity for trust and hope. We want to believe,
but we are afraid.


Some people believe that God will respond only to people who 'believe enough'.
"If you have enough faith, God will hear you," they say. But Jesus
said "All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed." The mustard
is the smallest of seeds. God does not reject small, limited faith. God will
not ignore even the desire to believe. God will not dismiss a willingness
to learn to trust. Mountains have been moved by less. God accepts our limited
faith.


God does not ask us to wait until we are certain and strong in faith. God accepts us as we are, even with our limited faith.


Lord, you see my struggle to believe,
to trust,
and to hope.
You know my fears,
my hesitations,
my questions.
Help me to accept the limits of my faith.
Help me to bring my limited faith to you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Sep 16, 2007

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Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They
said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.Mark 16:8


The most reliable early manuscripts of the Gospel of Mark end with this
verse. Mark's version of the Good News ends with this very high drama. Just
at the point in the story where we might have expected to find rejoicing,
we find fear. The women are afraid. Just at the point where we might have
expected confidence, we find uncertainty. The women are bewildered. What
a remarkable thing that the people chosen by God to be the first messengers
of the Good News were too frightened and bewildered to speak! God chose
to entrust the future of the Kingdom to people with limited courage.


God knows our courage is limited. He knows that fear can immobilize us.
God does not shame us for being afraid. God has trusted people with this kind
of limit in the past. God does not need us to have unshakable faith.


The women in this text did eventually speak. Courage was granted to them.
Fears faced without shame will lose their power to immobilize us. God knows
that fear is part of our human condition. Our fears do not keep God from
entrusting us to be message bearers of Good News.


Thank you, Lord,
for entrusting the Kingdom
to the tired and traumatized.
Thank you for accepting me
and my limited courage.
Help me today to accept my limits, Lord.
Help me to give my fears to you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Sep 17, 2007

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"When I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that
the Lord had opened a door for me, I still had no peace of mind, because
I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said good-by to them and went
on to Macedonia."2 Corinthians 2:12-13


Paul was a missionary writing to a congregation that had mixed feelings
about his ministry. Under these circumstances we might reasonably expect him
to defend himself. We might expect him to say 'Things are going great! Open
doors! Packed stadiums! Now on several continents! Soon on satellite to
the whole planet!" But he doesn't say that. He tells the truth. "There
was an open door, but I had no peace of mind". Paul chooses to do honest,
straight, appropriate, risky self-disclosure. "I was anxious and lonely
and it effected my ability to work. I could not minister to others because
I was too needy." Paul rejects the 'superstar' or 'hero' model for
ministry. "I can't do this alone," he was saying, "I need Titus".


Like Paul, we have limits in our work and ministry. God does not ask us
to be superheros. We may wish for this out of a deep need for approval,
but it is not what God asks of us. Like Paul, we will have open doors that
we will not be able to respond to because we are too tired, or too anxious,
or too lonely. It is part of the reality of being human. God understands
these kinds of limits.


Lord, I want to do it all.
I want to be a superhero.
But I am so limited.
Give me the grace to be honest.
Give me the courage to admit my loneliness and anxiety.
Give me the courage to admit my exhaustion.
Give me the grace to be human.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Sep 18, 2007

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Be still, and know that I am God.Psalm 46:10


We need to be reminded that we are not God.


This seems pretty basic. You wouldn't think it would be hard to remember.
But we get so caught up in proving ourselves by performing, achieving and
rescuing that we forget that we are humans with real limits. We fill our
time so full of frenzied activity that there is no 'stillness'. And when
there is no stillness, it is hard to remember who is God and who is not.


Fortunately, God does not forget who is God and who is not. God invites us
to quiet ourselves, to slow ourselves down. God invites us to be still long
enough to regain perspective. "Be still", God says, "and
know that I am God."


In the stillness we can see again that there is a difference between our
frenzy and God's kingdom. It is God's work to provide and protect and rescue.
It is not our work. We can do our part. But our part needs to be respectful
of our human limits. Our part needs to actively acknowledge our dependence
on God. God is God, and we are not.


Help me to slow down, Lord.
Help me to be quiet.
Help me to be still long enough to remember that you are God.
Help me to remember who is creature and who is Creator.
Let this truth free me, Lord, to accept my limits,
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007

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Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let you ears
be attentive to my cry for mercy.Psalms 130:1-2


Grief is often experienced as being 'in the depths'. Sometimes it feels
like we have been swallowed up by grief. Our bodies ache. Our minds can't
focus. Our hearts feel like they will break.


Our cry for help during times of grief may seem desperate and feeble. We
want to believe that God hears us. We want to believe that God is attentive
to our pain. But we feel uncertain.


One of the most difficult experiences during seasons of grief is feeling
as if our crys for help fall on deaf ears. Like the psalmist, we find ourselves
pleading with God to pay attention. God, who may have seemed so present
and attentive when our pain was less intense, can seem strangely absent
just when we need God most. When we are in the most pain, we are often
least able to experience God's loving presence.


This subjective experience of God's inattentiveness can be terrifying. But
it can also be the starting point for growing a deeper and more meaningful
faith. A faith that has found the courage to honestly face these experiences
of God's absence will be a transformed faith. A faith that has survived
a season of grief will have experienced the realities of the spiritual life
at a much deeper level. From experiences of this kind we can learn to give
up simplistic spiritualities. We can learn to pray with more honesty and
integrity.


Can you see me, God?
Can you hear me?
Listen!
Pay attention!
I am calling to you for help.
I am overwhelmed with sorrow.
Have mercy on me.
Hear my cry for help.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Sep 20, 2007

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A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for
her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.Matthew 2:18


There are times when there is no consolation for grief. There is no comfort.
In these times we feel that those who try to comfort us do not understand
the vastness of our pain. All we know, all we see, is the terrible loss
we have suffered. The world feels as if it should stop. Nothing matters
but our loss.


We weep and rage and long for the return of what we have lost.


This happened to many of the families living in Bethlehem at the time of
Jesus' birth. In hopes of killing the Messiah, Herod ordered that the oldest
male child under two years old in that town be put to death. It was into
this world of violence and terror that Jesus was born. The Christmas story
is not a fairy tale with happy endings, but a story about real life and
terrible loss.


There are times in our lives for weeping without comfort, for weeping with
anguish and rage. God has come before into times like this. God comes as
well into our times of anguish and rage. Because God comes there will eventually
be a time to be comforted. And a time to heal. And a time to go on.


But there is a time to weep. It cannot be rushed, or bypassed. There is
a time for weeping.


God, hold me when I weep,
when I refuse comfort,
when I cannot see beyond this pain.
Give me courage to grieve deeply, Lord.
Help me to tolerate the silence,
as I wait for you to speak.
Help me to survive the loneliness
as I await your coming.
Help me to grieve in ways
that draw me closer to you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 9/21/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Isaiah 53:3

Many people have the impression that good Christians are happy, joyful, victorious people. In this fantasy, good Christians are people whose problems seem to vanish when they trust God and pray about it. Unaffected by the pain of life, these relentlessly cheerful people read the Bible, sing praise songs and feel no pain.

Yet Christians are at heart the followers of a man who was named 'man of sorrows.' Jesus was not relentlessly cheerful. He did not practice a mood altering, pain-numbing religion. He grieved. He wept. He was familiar with suffering. Our God is a God who knows suffering. God grieves.

In those times when we shame ourselves for our sorrow, it can be an enormous encouragement to remember that God is personally familiar with grief. If God grieves, we can expect to do the same.

God, you surprise me again!
When I grieve, I think that if I could just cheer up,
you would be pleased.
But, you grieve also.
Man of Sorrows you are acquainted with sorrow.
Thank you for understanding.
Thank you for grieving.
Help me to experience your presence in my time of grief.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Sep 22, 2007

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The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in
spirit.Psalm 34:18


Many people are convinced that when they are brokenhearted, when they grieve
deeply over their losses, that God is displeased. God is sometimes seen
as a person who expects us to be happy even in the face of trauma and loss.
God is someone who asks us to 'snap out of it' and 'cheer up'. As a result,
we anticipate rejection rather than compassion.


How surprising it is to hear that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted!
God does not expect cheerfulness. God does not reject us. God is compassionate
and responsive. God is close - not far away.


In dysfunctional families difficult emotions often result in withdrawal
and isolation. It is this kind of emotional distance that we now expect
from God. It is not always easy to trust God to be close to us when we are
brokenhearted. And it is not always easy to allow ourselves the vulnerability
of such closeness. But God is eager to heal us, to restore us and to save
us when our spirits are crushed.


When I was angry, Lord,
I was sent to my room.
"Don't come out until you have a smile on your face!"
When I was sad, Lord
I was told to cheer up.
"Just snap out of it!"


Now I expect to be abandoned, Lord.
I expect to be left alone with my pain.
I expect to be lonely in my brokenness.


When I am broken hearted,
When I am crushed in spirit,
Help me to rest in your promise to be close.
Help me to rest in your promise to save.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Sep 23, 2007

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He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Isaiah 40:29
Grief is exhausting. Physically we are fatigued. Mentally we are spent.
Emotionally we are drained. Spiritually we are crushed. Weariness seems
to cast a shadow over all of life. We drag through the days. We are without
strength and without power.


Our bodies need to be refreshed with sleep and recreation. Our minds need
to be stimulated with hopeful thoughts about our future. Our hearts need
to be soothed. Our spirits need to be infused with a desire to engage in
life again.


God comes to us in the weariness and weakness of grief with gifts of strength
and power. God does not shame us for our weakness. God does not reject us
for being too weary to function. We may be tempted to refuse God's gifts
either because we want to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, or because
we don't believe we are entitled to receive good gifts. But, nevertheless,
God offers us good gifts in seasons of grief. God offers strength and power.
When we can admit our need and are ready to be honored by the Giver of these
gifts, they can be ours.


I am weary, Lord.
Sometimes I think I am suppose to stay weary.
I do not feel entitled to be strong.
And sometimes I want to manage without your help.
I don't feel that I deserve help.


Thank you for your offer of strength and power.
Give me strength today.
Give me the power I need to make it through this day.
Give me the grace to accept your gifts.
Strengthen and empower me as I grieve today.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Sep 24, 2007

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Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.Matthew 5:4


Jesus pronounced a blessing on people who are courageous enough to grieve.
Nothing could be more surprising than this. When we grieve, we often feel
like spiritual failures. But God sees things differently. From God's perspective,
mourning is valued. It is an occasion for blessing. It comes with the opportunity
for comfort.


To be comforted is to be held in the safety of arms you trust. To be comforted
is to weep and rage in the company of someone who loves us. The hard edges
of the pain are soothed. Strength and hope return in some measure. Healing
begins.


Grieving is a commitment to the hard work of facing reality and allowing
ourselves to feel the full range of emotions God has given us. It is painful
work. But it is work that is blessed by God.


Father of comfort,
you are my refuge and strength,
my help in times of trouble.
Were it not for your faithfulness,
I would hide from my pain.
I would choose not to see my losses.
I would not be able to face what has happened.
Man of sorrow, teach me to grieve.
Give me the courage to mourn
so that I can be comforted.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007

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Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though
the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no
sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the
Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.Habakkuk 3:17-18


Sometimes it feels like life is the experience of loss upon loss. There
are times when losses are all we can see. We are like this farmer taking
inventory. The figs, the grapes, the olive crop, and the wheat are all lost.
The sheep and the cattle are gone. There is nothing left, and nothing to
hope for. In times like this we are in danger of believing that fear and
sorrow are our only companions.


If the inventory of our lives stopped here, then all would be lost. We would
be without hope. But there is more to the story of our lives than our inventory
of losses can ever show. We can return again to the hope that God is bigger
than all of the losses of life. No matter how long our inventory of losses
may be, we can find in God a peace and hope that reshapes our struggle.
The losses do not magically disappear. But, when we turn our hearts toward
God, we know again that there is more to our life story than losses. We
do not want the bottom line of our life's story to read "this was a
person who experienced many losses". As each day we turn our hearts
again to God, we are writing a life story that will end with "though
the losses were painful, this was a person who found deep joy in God's love."


Lord, my losses are many.
Help me not to pretend about them.
Help me to grieve, Lord.
But help me as well to turn my heart toward you.
Even as I grieve,
help me to find
joy in you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Sep 26, 2007

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It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn
what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to
call the righteous, but sinners.Matthew 9:12


One of the most remarkable features of the human condition is our capacity
to pretend that we are healthy when our lives are in total chaos.


We work hard to cover up our problems and flaws in our character. We will
sacrifice almost anything to keep from facing the truth about ourselves.
We work this hard to look good because we experience our human needs, limits
and failures with deep shame - a shame that drives us to strive harder and
harder to look better and better. We sacrifice our serenity, our relationships,
our sanity on the altar of perfectionism. We also sacrifice any possibility
of getting the help we need by continuing to insist that "we can handle
it."


God does not ask such sacrifices from us. God has no need for us to be perfect.
Jesus speaks to us gently but very clearly about this issue. He confronts
our pretense, shame and perfectionistic strivings. He says in effect "you
do not have to sacrifice yourself in this way. You do not have to drive
yourself like this. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I want you to learn to
be mercy-full to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. It will free
you to accept your need of healing. It will allow you to acknowledge your
longing for me."


Jesus was saying "I did not come to pass out blue ribbons to the people
who have all the answers and have worked hard to prove themselves. I came
to bring hope and healing to people who know they need help." We can
stop shaming and condemning ourselves because God does not shame or condemn
us. God knows our brokenness, our pain, our need. We can give up our attempts
to prove ourselves and acknowledge our need for help and healing.


Lord, I don't want to be needy.
I want to be strong for you.
But, I can't sustain the pretense any longer
I have nothing to show for all my efforts to look good.
All I have done is shut you out of my life.


Today I acknowledge my need for you, Lord.
I need your healing and your forgiveness.
I am not healthy.
I need a doctor.
I need you.
Amen.


Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Sep 27, 2007

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One who was there had been an invalid for thirty eight years. When Jesus
saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition a long
time he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"John 5:5-6


Do you want to get well?! What a shocking question. Isn't the answer obvious?
Why even ask?


One of the most confusing parts of the recovery process is the fact that
we have many layers of resistance to recovery. As we begin to see the changes
which recovery will demand, we begin to see how attached we have become
to our existing way of life. Sometimes we play games to hold on to the past. We have
a good friend who prayed early in recovery that God would deliver her from
alcoholism so that she could continue to drink! We are all like this - we
want healing but we fear the changes which healing will bring.


Sometimes the fear of recovery comes from the fact that we can't imagine
any way of being in the world other than what we have known. A life consumed
with despair, rage and self-loathing may seem pretty awful, but its the
only life we may have known. Any change may seem risky and uncertain.


God is not ignorant of our resistance to healing. God asks the difficult
question: "Do you want to get well?" It's not always as obvious
as it seems. The 12-Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses this issue when
it talks about being "entirely ready" for God to change us. The
process of becoming "entirely ready" is at the heart of the struggle
of recovery. Our hearts and minds are being prepared to answer 'yes' to
God's offer of wholeness.


My answer to your question, Lord, is yes.
I am ambivalent at times.
I am uncertain and afraid at times.
But, I do want to get well.
The answer is yes.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Sep 28, 2007

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A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you
are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and
touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!"
Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.Matthew 8:2-3


There is a wonderful simplicity about this story - it summarizes a great
deal of life in a few words. A man recognizes his need, comes, kneels, asks,
is touched by Jesus and is cured. Many of us are living this story. We recognize
our need. We come. We kneel. We ask. We await God's touch. We experience
God's healing.


We would like our recovery to be just this simple. We want recognizing our
need to be simple. We want our 'coming' to be simple. And we want our 'kneeling'
to be simple. And we want our 'request' to be simple. And we want God's
touch and healing to be immediate, tangible, simple.


There are, unfortunately, a few complications. For people who have lived
in denial, 'recognizing our need', 'coming' and 'kneeling' are all major
changes in the way we normally function. We have grown so accustomed to
(and so attached to) our dysfunctions! So, recovery requires change. And
change is always difficult - even when we call the change a 'healing.'


What is most helpful in this text is Jesus' clarity about his desires for
us. Those of us who have been damaged by shame can expect to be uncertain
about God's desires for us. Jesus is clear that it is God's desire for us
to be healed. Our Healer wants to give us the gift of wholeness. When we
recognize our illness and we 'come' and 'kneel' and 'ask', then there is
no uncertainty in Jesus' response. He says "I am willing for you to
be free of this affliction. I want health and joy for you.


I'm not sure you want to heal me, Lord.
Are you willing?
Or are you eager to punish?
Are you the god-of-impossible-expectations?
Are you pleased when I suffer?
Or are you willing to heal me?
I need healing, Lord.
But, more than healing, I need you.
Help me today to experience your desire to heal.
Help me today to experience your eagerness to heal, Lord.
Prepare me to receive your gift of healing.
Heal me.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Sep 29, 2007

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When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed
their sick.Matthew 14:14


It is foundational to our healing for someone to see us with compassion.
We do not see ourselves with compassion. Instead, we often see ourselves
through harsh, condemning eyes. We have come to reject and shame ourselves
for our need. In order to learn to heal from the inside out we need someone
to see us differently than we see ourselves. We need someone to see us as
we are and to respond to us with emotional warmth and genuine concern.


Jesus saw. And had compassion. And he healed. All three experiences are
helpful in recovery.


God sees us. He sees that we struggle, that we need help, that we hurt.
Our brokenness is not a surprise or a disappointment to God.


God has compassion on us. God feels with us. God is emotionally responsive
to us. It matters to God that we are in need. It impacts God.


God heals. Having seen us and had compassion for us, God responds. God
touches our wounds. God mends our broken hearts. God strengthens our weary
spirits.


For those of us who have felt invisible, who have experienced shame and
rejection and abuse, it is a wonderful thing to find someone who sees, has
compassion and seeks to heal!


Lord, thank you that you see me.
You see my pain.
Thank you that it matters to you that I struggle and hurt.
Thank you that it is in the context of personal attention and compassion
that you heal me.
I await your healing touch today.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Sep 30, 2007

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He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised
reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.Isaiah 42:2-3


Cheer up! Snap out of it! I thought you would be better by now! What's your
problem?!


When we have been badly bruised, we have an increased sensitivity to noise.
Comments like these - which many of us have heard even from people who genuinely
love and care for us - are a kind of 'noise' during recovery. Because we
have been bruised, these comments often feel like 'shouts' or 'raised voices
in the street.' They are a kind of public shaming because of our inadequacies
and neediness. And this feels like it will do us in - like the tiny recovery
candle that we have just managed to light is being snuffed out by the wind
of the shout.


And so when God responds with gentleness we are surprised. No shouting.
No yelling. No hurrying to get better. Instead, we find compassion and tenderness.
Our Healer sees that we are like a bruised reed. God will not break us. God
will patiently restore us. God sees we are like a smoldering wick, ready
to go out. Others might give up on us. But God will work with us until we
burn brightly again.


Gentleness. Patience. Persistence. We need all three. These are the gifts
offered to us by our healing God.


I am bruised, Lord.
I am smoldering.
And, I am so accustomed to shouting.
It's so noisy that I don't always hear your voice.
I don't expect your gentle ways.
I expect you to yell, to be impatient.
I expect you to give up on me.
But you do not yell.
You are not impatient.
You do not give up.
Thank you.
Gentle Healer, teach me to be gentle.
Teach me to be compassionate with myself and with others.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Oct 1, 2007

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I will heal their waywordness and love them freely.Hosea 14:4


Waywordness is a turning away from what is in our best interest and following
depraved, capricious inclinations. There are many ways in which waywardness
can be expressed. Some of us are openly rebellious. We flaunt our wild behavior
and laugh at God. Others of us are quietly wayward. We try to appear compliant
and good but we are self-reliant and defiantly independent.


No matter how we express our waywardness it is a destructive force in our
lives. In our attempts to protect ourselves from any further pain we turn
away from God and from others who love us. We shut them out. And we shut
out their love. As a result, we close ourselves off from what we want and
need most desperately in life - to be known and loved.


God promises to heal our waywardness. God understands that our
turning away is the result of some deep wound in us.
God sees this. God knows. God promises to heal us by loving us freely. When
we close the doors of our heart, God does not stop loving us. Instead God continues to love us generously and completely. God will love us freely until our fears are gone and our
defenses can come down. God will love us freely so that one day we will be
able to give up our waywordness and allow ourselves the joy of being
loved.


Heal my waywardness, Lord.
When I turn away from you,
love me so that I will return to you again.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Oct 11, 2007

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I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father,
may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him
better.Ephesians 1:17
Paul kept asking God that his friends would be able to know God better.
He clearly did not think of the Christian life as a one-time event. This
text assumes that to become a Christian is to enter a lifetime process of
learning to see and know God better.
The two things needed for this process are wisdom and revelation. Wisdom
is something internal. During recovery the Spirit works within us to make
us wise. This involves weeding out all of the distorted ideas and distorted
thinking processes which supported our denial system. The Spirit is capable
of removing our 'stinking thinking' and making us wise. The second thing
we need in the recovery process is revelation. Revelation is external to
us - it is God's self-disclosure to us. Without an external frame of reference,
we are perfectly capable of creating a reality of our own choosing. Our
denial is capable of creating a comprehensive alternate reality with no
external checks or balances. During recovery, the Spirit works to reveal
to us what is true, what is real. As a result we gradually learn that there
is a reality beyond our pretense and denial.
The purposes of the Spirit's work is to help us grow in our capacity to
know God. The goal is not just knowing lots of facts about God. To know
a person is to share life with that person. It is a quest of the heart.
As our wounded hearts are changed, we will be empowered to know God better.

I need wisdom. Lord.
Help me to be wise.
I need revelation, Lord.
Show me.
Let me see.
Spirit of Wisdom
Spirit of Revelation
Fill my heart today
So that I may
know you better.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Oct 12, 2007

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This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying
in a manger. . .and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said
to them.Luke 2:12, 18


Some people think of God as a monster. Others think of God as the bully-in-the-sky.
Others think of God as remote and abstract. These images come readily to
us. We would not find it difficult to invent these gods. We are not amazed
by them.


Like those who heard the shepherd's report, however, we stand amazed at
the Christian Image. The image of a vulnerable God, a God-in-human-flesh,
does not come readily to us. Who would have ever invented this God who comes
as an infant? Who would have ever dared to think such a thing of God? But
this is The Story, The Image. Christians have always insisted that the central
drama of the history of this planet is centered on this God-who-comes-as-an-infant.



Things have not changed since the shepherds shared the amazing news. Being
a Christian still involves staying open to the possibility that God will
surprise us today. Just as God surprised the shepherds that day, so God may
surprise us today.


Staying open to the possibility that God will surprise us with good things is not easy for people like us who find it easier to expect bad things.
But God surprises us again and again with good things. The same God who
came as a baby, wrapped up, lying in a feeding trough continues to surprise
us.


What a surprise you are, God!
I expected monster, bully, distant abstraction.
What a surprise you are, Infant-God!
Help me this day to be open to your surprising grace.
Help me this day to be open to your surprising love.
Help me this day to hope in you.
Help me to allow my deep longings for you to awaken.
So that I will not miss your surprises.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Oct 13, 2007

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Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face
to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully
known.1 Corinthians 13:12

As we open ourselves to see and know God in new ways, we will need to guard
against using our relationship with God as a new arena for expressing our
perfectionism. We cannot now see God except in a 'poor reflection'. We cannot
perfectly know God. We are not yet face to face with God. We see partially.
We know partially. There is much that remains a mystery to us.


It is not easy for us to live with partial vision. It is difficult to tolerate
the ambiguities and unknowns. Sometimes the imperfections in our understanding
of God make us anxious. We feel that God expects more of us than that. We
feel that we should have answers to every conceivable question, that we
should never experience doubts, that we should have clarity at all times.



But this text makes it clear that 20:20 vision is not a realistic expectation
in our relationship with God. Perfection is not an option for us. Accepting
limits in our capacity to see and know God is part of getting to know God
better.


The list of things I don't understand goes on and on, Lord.
What I don't know makes me anxious.
I am afraid of my doubts.
I want to see and know you so well that I no longer experience doubt.
I want to understand things so thoroughly, that I no longer experience anxiety.
But I cannot see you face to face. I only see and know in part.
Help me, Lord,
to find a way to live with uncertainty,
with doubts,
with anxiety.
Help me to embrace what you have revealed of your love and goodness.
And to live in anticipation of one day knowing you more fully.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Oct 14, 2007

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Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet
been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies
himself, just as he is pure.1 John 3:2-3


Christians do not believe about life that 'what you see is what you get'.
Quite to the contrary, Christians believe that many things we cannot now
see are still part of God's plans for us. Some days we cannot see (or maybe
even imagine) what it would be like to be completely recovered. But we know
that this is God's plan for us. God is committed to our full recovery. As
this text puts it, God will not be done with us until we are 'like him'.
That is as 'recovered' as you can get.


The clarity of God's plan for us can give us hope. It may be a difficult
journey, but you can get somewhere from here. We can make it because God
is involved in the process of our transformation. This hope can give us
a kind of purity of purpose and vision. Because God is committed to our
full recovery, we are not alone with our hopes and dreams. Because God is
committed to our full recovery, we have a power greater than our own to
help with the struggle. Because God is committed to our full recovery, we
can find rest and courage in the purity of God's vision for us.


Because God is committed to our full recovery, we can let go of our pathetic
little idol gods and turn to the true and living God. When we worshipped
a god-of-impossible-expectations, we became driven and compulsive. When
we worshipped a god-who-abused, we became fearful and frozen. When we worshipped
a god-who-keeps-his-distance, we fought despair. As we begin to see God
as loving, we come to believe that we are lovable. As we begin to see that
God wants us to let go of our self-destructive behaviors in order to live
more fully, we come to believe that we are precious and valuable.


What I see, Lord,
is not always a very pretty picture.
I long for you to appear.
If you enter the picture, everything changes.
Seeing you changes everything
because I know that when I see you,
I am changed.
Seeing you transforms me.
Sink this hope deep within me, Lord.
Purify me with this hope.
Thank you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Oct 15, 2007

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I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of
flesh. Ezekiel 11:19

God promises us a heart transplant. God promises to change us. Our stone
hearts will be removed and in their place will be put a heart of flesh.

A heart of stone is a dead heart. It is closed to honest, intimate relationships.
A heart of stone is unmerciful with itself and with others. But we do
become attached to our hearts of stone. And we find ourselves fearing God's
promised transplant. Our stone hearts have one thing in their favor - they
allow us to feel strong and to appear strong to others. A stone heart is
a protected heart. It seems invulnerable. You cannot wound a heart of
stone.

God's offer of a heart transplant is a promise of life. A heart of flesh
is alive. Only a flesh heart can feel joy. Only a flesh heart can celebrate.
Only a heart of flesh can give and receive love. But, the vulnerability
of a heart of flesh scares us. A flesh heart does not seem as well protected
as a heart of stone. It can feel joy, but it can also feel pain. You can
wound a heart of flesh.

God promises to change us. God will remove our hearts of stone and give
us hearts of flesh.

I like the safety of my stone heart, Lord.
But it is hard, cold, dead.
It is a heartless heart, bloodless, lifeless.
Remove it from me.
I want a heart of flesh, Lord.
I want life.
But I am afraid.
Give me the courage to say 'yes'
to your promise of life today.
Remove my heart of stone and
give me a heart of flesh.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Oct 16, 2007

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The Lord replied, 'My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.'
Then Moses said to him, 'If your presence does not go with us, do not send
us up from here.'Exodus 33:14-15

God promised to be with Moses and to provide him with rest. But no doubt
other people had made promises to Moses that were like God's promise. People
had promised to be with him but had later abandoned him. So, Moses' fears
were not completely vanquished when God promised to be present and to provide
rest.

We are like Moses. We are facing a difficult journey. If God goes on
ahead and waits for us at the destination, we will never make it. We need
God to make the journey with us. We will need God every day. If God does
not come, it would better not to go. The dangers are too great. The pain,
too overwhelming. We will surely lose our way unless God comes as our
guide.

Moses' prayer to God is a good model for us. It is not a sign of doubt
or faithlessness to pray for what we need, even if our needs are things
which God has already promised to provide. Praying for what we need is
good communication. If we are afraid that God will not be faithful, we can share this with God.
God will not be shocked. God will not punish. God understands that our capacity for trust has been damaged.

Honestly communicating our fears to God, will build our capacity for
trusting God's promises. God has promised to be present with us. And God
has promised to provide rest. We will need both to survive the transitions
and changes that come with recovery.

Thank you, Lord, for the promise of your presence today.
If you will not go with me,
please don't send me.
Because I can't make it on my own.
The journey is a difficult one.
The path leads through deep valleys.
And, I am sure to lose my way
without your presence to comfort and guide.
Help me to rest today in your promises.
Help me to rest in your loving presence.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Oct 17, 2007

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Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will
not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10

Mountains shake. Hills are removed. That's how it feels sometimes during
the process of recovery. Our lives seem to be in constant upheaval as we
change and stretch and grow. In the midst of these changes, the Lord has
compassion on us. God's love and commitment are reaffirmed. We may feel
shaken. We may change. Things may look different. But we can count on
God's love. It is unfailing love - love that cannot be shaken.

God's promise of unfailing love for us and God's covenant of peace with
us can provide the safety we need today. In the storm of change that recovery
brings, God's love provides an anchor of safety and security. God's love
can provide a peace and serenity that will not be removed.

Lord, I am shaken.
down to my foundations.
Sometimes I am afraid
of all the changes.
Will anything remain?
Will there be enough left to build on?
I need a foundation for my life, Lord.


For your love, Lord,
love that cannot be shaken,
I give you thanks.
For your covenant of peace, Lord,
peace that will not be removed,
I give you thanks.
Help me to build on the foundation
of your love and peace
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Oct 18, 2007

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Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
Isaiah 54:4


Experiences of shame lead to fear. When shame causes us to be afraid
we make extra efforts to protect ourselves against future experiences of
shame. We try hard, for example, to look good. We focus on controlling
external appearances. We also try hard to anesthetize our feelings because
of our fear of shame. We focus on controlling our feelings so that other
people won't get to know us. If they did they might discover the shame
we are trying to hide. In this way shame traps us in a cycle of fear and
emotional numbing and covering up.

But if we hide our shame, it can never be healed. Our shame heals when
we reveal our inner being to people who accept us rather than shame us.
This is not an easy process for us because we expect to be shamed. We
do not expect to be accepted.

What a remarkably grace-full experience it is when God says "you
don't need to be afraid, you will not suffer shame." We can open our
hearts to God and find acceptance rather than shaming. God sees our fear.
God knows that we want to run and hide. But it is God's desire to heal our
deep wound of shame. "You don't have to be afraid," God says
to us, "you will not suffer shame or disgrace or humiliation with me."

I have experienced so much shame, Lord.
So much disgrace.
So much humiliation.
Sometimes I want to hide myself from life.
And sometimes I want to numb myself to life.
Sometimes I want to disappear completely.


Thank you for your promise.
It calms my fears and helps me to stop hiding.
It helps me to stop covering up.
Thank you that I can open my heart to you and not suffer shame.
Thank you for the people in my life who accept me and do not shame me.
Protect me, Lord, from shame.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Oct 19, 2007

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I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18

There are many ways to become an orphan. Some children become orphans
when their parents die. Others become functional orphans when their parents
divorce. Other people become orphans as a result of their parent's emotional
unavailability. Anyone who has been neglected, abandoned, or abused by
people who were important in their life will appreciate what it is like
to be an orphan. It is a painful and lonely experience. Orphans doubt
their ability to sustain intimate relationships and find it difficult to
trust others. Experiences of abandonment leave us full of loneliness, fear
and self-loathing.

Jesus understood the acute pain that orphans experience. In this text
he responds to that deep pain with a promise of relationship. "I will
not leave you as orphans," Jesus says, "I will not abandon you.
You will not be without family because I will come to you."

In Jesus we see most clearly that God is attentive and available to us
when we feel abandoned or neglected. God respects our needs and responds
to our desires for relationship. God calls us out of the brokenness and
dysfunction of our very personal orphanage into the community and fellowship
of God's family. We are no longer orphans. We are God's children.

Lord, I know about being an orphan.
I know about abandonment.
Thank you for understanding my fear of separation.
Thank you for understanding my need for your presence.
Come.
Be present today with me.
I want to spend time with you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Oct 20, 2007

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Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4

There are times in recovery when we feel totally immobilized - times
when we cannot 'walk' at all. In times like this, God promises to carry
us. When we are weary or burdened or disabled, God will pick us up gently and carry us. There are also times of exhaustion during recovery
- times when we can still move but we don't know where we will get the energy
for the next step. When we are on long and difficult journeys that require
endurance, God promises to sustain us. God will give us strength and patience
and hope so that we can keep going. And there are times of great danger
in recovery - times when the risks seem overwhelming. When we are in danger,
trapped and overwhelmed, God promises to rescue us. God will pull us out
of danger and bring us to a safe place.

God's promised help is attentive to and informed by our specific needs.
God will not 'rescue' us when what we really need is strength to continue.
God will not give us strength when what we really need is to be carried
for a time.

Notice that God's promised help has no time limits. God is not going
to grow weary and regret having made these promises. God will be with us
today, and tomorrow, and each one-day-at-a-time day throughout our lives even
to our 'old age and gray hairs'.

Thank you, Lord, for understanding
that I need different things
at different times.
Carry me when I cannot walk.
Sustain me when I need to endure.
Rescue me when I am in danger.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Oct 21, 2007

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He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I
tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you
will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself
like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.Matthew 18:2-4

Children are naturally curious about life. They look at everything, hear
everything, want to know about everything. They are ready for growth and
responsive to life. But, childhood dies for many people because of neglect,
abuse and losses experienced during early vulnerable years. The eagerness
and engagement are poisoned. The responsiveness to life yields to fear and
shame.

It is possible, however, to reclaim a lost childhood. It is possible
to change in ways that allow us to experience the wonder, the awe, the engagement
in life that God intended for us in childhood.

God invites us to experience this kind of change. God invites us to
become like little children. Children are humble - they have a straightforward
honesty about their feelings and needs. This humility makes childlike awe
and engagement in life possible. It is a vulnerable, humble thing to be
a child. Children get tired and need naps. Children need other people.
Children have more questions than answers.

Jesus invites us to change and become like little children. It is an
invitation to true humility which leads to spontaneity, curiosity and engagement
in life.

Lord, I want to reclaim
the wonder and delight of childhood.
I want to be eager to learn again.
I want to be ready to love and be loved again.
Give me, Lord, the security and safety I need
to be vulnerable and humble.
Help me to be ready for surprises.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Oct 22, 2007

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He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.Proverbs 15:32


None of us enjoy it when people point out that we need to change. We
don't like being told that we have switched from one addiction to another.
Or, that we are allowing someone's addiction to control our lives. Or that
we are running from intimacy. Or that we are behaving in ways that are destructive
to ourselves or to others. We don't like hearing these things.

But we need this kind of honesty. We are not 'wired' for honest self-assesment.
At the first sight of a problem we experience shame. And our defenses go
up. We put our hands over our ears and stop listening.

We need other people to keep us honest and to help us see what we cannot
see about ourselves. Honest feedback is one of our best hopes for initiating
change. As this text puts it, if we 'heed correction', we can gain a lot
of understanding. So, it is good to pay attention to the 'correction' and
'discipline' we get from others. We are not helped, of course, by judgmentalism
and shame - we have enough of that to last us a lifetime. But we need to
cultivate relationships with people who will - with love and kindness -
tell us the truth about ourselves. This information can be the starting
point for change in our lives.

Lord, help me to build relationships that sustain honesty.
Give me friends who will love me enough to tell me the truth.
Help me to pay attention to correction.
Give me the courage to see myself clearly.
Keep me from shame and self-loathing.
Give me the openness to correction that makes change possible.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Oct 23, 2007

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For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or
gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handled down to you
from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without
blemish or defect.1 Peter 1:19

Change is not easy. It is a fierce battle. It can be difficult and discouraging.

Change often requires us to challenge the perspectives and rules which
have sustained our family system for generations. The 'empty way of life'
we are attempting to change was handed down from our parents and their parents
before them and their parents before them. In a family committed to the
'don't talk' rule, for example, saying even a simple sentence may require
overcoming distracting behaviors or other avoidance behaviors which have
been refined over hundreds of years!. Talking honestly to a parent or sibling
may be breaking family rules that have lasted for generations.

The Good News is that we have been redeemed from the empty way of life
handed down by our forefathers. Jesus redeemed us so that we can be free
from this kind of bondage. We can learn to talk honestly . We can learn
to experience our emotions. We can learn to trust genuinely. We can engage
in life. We can love and be loved.

We live in a battle between the empty way of life passed down to us and
the new life that has been provided for us. Living in solidarity
with our new life in Christ is a daily struggle, but as we practice this
way of life we break the vicious cycle of family dysfunction.

Lord, it isn't just me that I am trying to change.
I am up against generations of dysfunction.
An empty way of life has dominated my family for a long time.
It has been passed down to me.
No wonder it seems so hard to change.
I need your help, Lord.
Help me to find hope in your understanding of my struggle.
Help me to find hope in your gift of redemption.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 10/24/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
2 Thessalonians 1:4

There is no magical formula for change. But there are some helpful principles.

First of all, change happens little by little. As this text puts it, our capacity for trust 'grows more and more' and our ability to love and to receive love 'increases'. These changes, like all of the most important changes in life, do not happen as a one-time event. An important change may require us to make a decision at a certain moment, it also requires a process that takes place over months and years.

Second, change is not a race. The change process can not be rushed. We often want to 'hurry it up', but we can't. Change that is real and long-lasting, requires patience and perseverance. When we have been practicing our dysfunctions for decades, we can expect that unlearning them will also take time.

Third, change requires that we practice the disciplines of honesty and fellowship. There is no recovery unless we find ways to move out of denial and isolation. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to share our struggles and victories with people who will 'always thank God for us' and who will encourage us, affirm us and hold us accountable.

Lord, I want my faith to grow.
I want my capacity for love to increase.
Little by little.
One day at a time.
That's what I need.
Help me to move out of denial,
And out of isolation.
Help me to do my part to make change possible in my life.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Oct 25, 2007

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But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already
has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.Romans 8:24-25

Sometimes it feels like nothing is changing. We feel like we have lost
our way -- and all hope of finding it again. Ironically we often experience
this sense of being 'stuck' during periods that later seem most dynamic
in terms of change. Perhaps when change is rapid we are so disoriented that
we are unable to see it clearly. In times like this we may not be able to
see that anything is changing. It may be hard to believe that all the hard
work and effort are worth it. It is during these times we are most tempted
to give up.

It is a general truth that we want change to take place faster than it
does. We could more easily tolerate the pain of recovery, if only we could
be assured that it would be quick.

But if we insist that change happen so rapidly that we can see it every
day, then our capacity for hope will gradually diminish. If we insist that
our recovery always have the drama and immediacy of miracle, then we will
not build the deep-down kind of hope that we will need during the really
tough times in life. Hope that you can 'see', Paul says, is not really hope
at all. Real hope is what sustains us when we do not see change. Hope is
the conviction that God has not given up on us. As long as God is committed
to us, there is hope for change.

Sometimes I get stuck, Lord.
When that happens, I desperately want a miracle.
I want to change fast, very fast.
But that's not what I really need.
What I really need is you, Lord.
If you haven't given up,
then I'm not really stuck.
There is hope.
Renew my vision of you, Lord.
Help me to see again your hopefullness about me.
And your love for me.
And the joy you take in me.
Let this build again in me a capacity for hope.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Oct 26, 2007

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See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19

Recovery involves a lot of hard work. Change and growth take effort.
But we are not doing all the work ourselves. God is also at work. God is
at our side in the process of healing.

Sometimes, of course, it seems like there is not much for God to work
with. We see our diseases and disfunctions clearly and wonder how anything
can be made out of this mess. But God is full of surprises. God can turn
the most unlikely of events and experiences into opportunities to bring
us new life and new hope.

Sometimes recovery seems like a desert wasteland, desolate, unproductive.
We can't imagine that anything can grow here. The conditions are too hostile.
It is into just such situations that God comes. In a trackless wilderness,
God makes a way. In a parched wasteland, God causes a stream of water to
spring up. It is a remarkable thing when God finds a path for us when we
are completely lost. It is a remarkable thing when God provides nourishment
for us in a wasteland. But God does, time and time again.

God is doing a new thing in us. It may be difficult for us to perceive
at first. But little by little, day by day, new life and hope spring up.
God can take the pathless wasteland of our lives and grow a garden there.

"Do you see it?" God asks "Can you see how it springs
up? It will be a garden some day. It will yield a bountiful harvest."

I am not good at seeing it yet, Lord.
Will I bloom and grow?
Will my desert wasteland see a harvest?
Is there a path for me in this wilderness, Lord.
Are there streams of water here?
Surprise me, Lord.
And change me.
Give me the courage, hope and trust
to change a little today.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Oct 27, 2007

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If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone
at her.John 8:7

It is easy to judge other people. Judgmentalism and blame come naturally
to us. Other people's faults and failures are not difficult to identify.
Many of us can remember a time in our lives when throwing the first stone
was not just easy - it was what we thought good Christians were supposed
to do.

One of the most dramatic changes which takes place early in the recovery
process is an increase in self-awareness. We begin to see patterns in our
own lives that need changing. We see our own self destructive tendencies.
We see how we have brought pain to others. As these insights dawn on us,
we begin to lay down our stones.

Of course, as our self-awareness increases, many of us attempt to refocus
the blame and judgmentalism from others onto ourselves. We can blame and
judge ourselves as ruthlessly as we may once have blamed and judged others.
But it's not really progress in recovery to give up throwing stones. . and
then start banging our heads against a stone wall.

Judgmentalism and blame are not helpful in recovery. What makes recovery
possible is when increased self-awareness leads to an increased capacity
to experience forgiveness. Gradually we learn to accept forgiveness from
God and others. We receive mercy. As a result, we begin to treat ourselves
and others with mercy.

It is increased self-awareness and the humility which self-awareness
makes possible that are the soil in which true community can grow. When
we accept ourselves as humans even though we struggle and sometimes fail,
we can become far more gentle with ourselves and with others.

Lord, you know how quick I have been to throw stones.
Thank you for the self awareness that has allowed me to see more clearly
that
I am not without sin.
I know that I am in need of forgiveness.
Give me the courage to accept your forgiveness and mercy
and in this way begin to live in true community
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Oct 28, 2007

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Listen carefully to my words, let this be the consolation you give me.Job 21:1

Listening should be easy. But it is not. At a minimum, listening means
that we have to be quiet. We cannot listen when we are talking. Not talking
is the hard part. There are many reasons for this. We prefer talking over
listening because it gives us a sense of control. We can control the silences
between words by choosing when to talk. Since silences of even a few seconds
can cause our anxiety to increase, we fill the silence with words even when
we really have nothing to say.

It is a remarkable experience to have someone really listen -- to have
someone's undivided attention and interest. When someone listens, they
communicate to us on a very deep level that we are valuable. Their listening
breaks our isolation and aloneness. And it decreases the fears which come
when our thoughts and feelings are confused. Talking out loud in the presence
of a person who listens carefully allows us to gain clarity and perspective.
Gradually, being listened to can begin to convince us that we are worth
someone's attention and worth being loved.

When someone listens with respect and acceptance we are comforted and
consoled. Our pain is soothed. Our burden is lightened.

Thank you, Lord, for those who listen to me.
And thank you for the people who
trust me enough to allow me to listen to them.
Give me the courage to talk honestly.
Give me the grace to listen well.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Oct 29, 2007

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In your anger, do not sin.Ephesians 4:26

Living in relationship with other people means that we will experience
seasons of anger. Anger is a normal human emotion. It is an unavoidable
ingredient of any fellowship.

Unfortunately, for most of us, anger is a problem. We know that anger
can lead to destructive behaviors. Some of us have been on the receiving
end of verbal and physical attacks from an angry person. And some of us
have lashed out at others with our anger. So we fear anger because we
have seen the destruction which results when anger leads to sin. We have
seen how anger can damage relationships and lead to loneliness.

But anger does not have to be destructive. We can be angry without harming
others. Anger can, in fact, be a constructive force in our lives. Anger
alerts us to the fact that something is not right. As a result, anger can
protect us and energize us to take constructive action.

The fellowship we need in recovery cannot always be conflict-free fellowship.
There will be times of anger. And that can be a good thing.

I am afraid of anger, Lord.
But I know it can't be avoided.
Help me to acknowledge my anger
rather than hide from it.
Help me to use it in ways that are not destructive.
Let it energize me to risk and change and grow.
Help me to learn to live constructively with my anger
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Oct 30, 2007

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Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember
that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front
of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and
offer your gift.Matthew 5:23-24

The process of recovery increases our awareness of the ways we have hurt
other people. For many of us this realization leads almost instaneously
to shame. And shame leads almost immediately to increasingly desperate attempts
to be perfect in order to mask the feeling that we are fundamentally flawed.
The downward cycle of failure-shame-trying harder-failure will gradually
immobilize us as our self-contempt and depression increase.

In this text Jesus invites us to give up on trying harder. He suggests
a completely different and very practical way of dealing with failure. Notice
that Jesus assumes that living in community will lead to the need for making
amends. The assumption is that we will not be perfect. We can expect to
fail from time to time. Failure need not lead to shame or perfectionism
because failure is normal. We all experience it. Accepting this basic reality
is the first step in the process toward a healthy response to failure.

Jesus suggests that awareness of our failure doesn't have to lead to
trying harder. It can lead to honesty and making amends. We are to speak
directly about the problem, ask for forgiveness, make amends as appropriate,
and be reconciled if possible.

I fail, Lord.
And then I am ashamed of my failure.
And then I work twice as hard not to fail.
And then I fail again. Lord.
And then I become even more ashamed of my failure.
And then I work ten times as hard not to fail.
And then I fail again..
Help!
Free me from the cycle of failure-shame-perfectionism.
Give me the courage to ask for forgiveness and to make amends.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Oct 31, 2007

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Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.Proverbs 15:22

A friend recently said, "The day my mother told me to lie about
Dad's abusive behavior is the day I decided once and for all that no one
will ever take care of me but me."

Many of us made decisions like this early in life. For one reason or
another we reached the conclusion that it was not safe to need others. One
of the longest-lasting effects of abuse and neglect is this kind of ruthless
independence.

Unfortunately, because we may not have experienced appropriate care,
we have not learned how to do a good job of taking care of ourselves. We
are harsh with ourselves. And we have huge blind spots. We keep falling
into the same ruts and traps.

The toxic individualism that comes from abuse and neglect is an illusion.
We are needy. We need others to help us and support us. We cannot live whole,
healthy lives in isolation. We need other people. We need their counsel
and their honest feedback. Success is more likely when we work interdependently.
We need love and acceptance. We need listening ears. We need to be held
accountable. We need encouragement and support from other people. And others
need all these things from us as well.

It may seem like a risk to allow ourselves to need anything from anyone.
But it is a risk worth taking again and again and again. It is appropriate
to be cautious and wise about the risks we take in relationships. But risks
cannot be avoided. Mutual relationships of love and care are the basis for
all real joy in life. They are worth the struggle and hard work.

Lord, you know the fear I experience
when I allow myself to receive good things from other people.
You know how hard it is for me to let myself need people.
And you know I struggle to believe I have anything to give to others.
So interdependence is difficult.
Help me, Lord, to give and to receive.
Give me the courage to risk love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Nov 1, 2007

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If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,
but have not love, I gain nothing.I Corinthians 13:3

We need to experience loving relationships in order to heal and grow.
In loving relationships we experience the safety that allows us to face
the truth. In loving relationships we experience the support we need to
begin to change. And in loving relationships we learn that we are lovable
and valuable.

Because we have been wounded in relationships, our instinct is often
to run from relationships. We don't want to be hurt again. This leaves an
enormous void in our souls. And it is this void which we desperately try
to fill with addictions and compulsions of various kinds. This text focuses
on two manifestations of religious addiction (compulsive altruism and religiously
motivated self-abuse) and sums up the result: I gain nothing. The same could
be said of all of our addictions. "I deliver my body to be burned"
and "I gain nothing" are an accurate description not only of a
particular kind of religious addiction but also of chemial addiction, work
addiction, sexual addiction and relationship addiction, as well as many
self-abusive compulsions.

We gain nothing for all the time and effort we spend on trying to numb
the pain. It does not achieve the desired result. The void remains.

Although loving fellowship may be frightening for us, it is the path
to recovery. The vulnerabilities of intimacy may remind us of earlier times
of terror in life, but there is no way to recover in isolation. The net
result of compulsions and addictions is "I gain nothing." But
the net result of recovery is very different. There is something to be gained
by all the hard work that recovery requires. Recovery builds in us a capacity
to receive love and a capacity to give love to others. And that is a real
gain.

May God grant you the courage you need today to pursue loving fellowship.

Lord, you see my guarded heart.
You see the fears that make me run from love.
What I fear is what I want most.
I want to love and to be loved.
Give me courage to open my heart to love today.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Nov 2, 2007

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Then they led him away to crucify him.Matthew 27:31

There are days when we find it difficult, if not impossible, to sustain
hope. The day of Jesus' death was such a day. It was a day of despair for
all who had put their hope in him. It was a day of unbearable grief for
those who had been changed by his love. In such terrible moments hope disappears.
Darkness seems to be all that remains. God seems absent.

It is, however, one of the most fundamental convictions of the Christian
faith that, in those times when hope seems unattainable, God is at work.
In that moment when even Jesus had a difficult time sustaining hope in God's
redemptive purposes, God was fighting the decisive battle which would extend
the rule of the Kingdom to all peoples. In that moment of terror, the foundations
of reality were exposed and God was at work on the deep structures of the
world. God could do work at that moment which would have been impossible
during ordinary times.

Much the same is true of our moments of hopelessness. It is when hope
grows weakest that our foundations are most exposed. It is when the struggle
to sustain hope is most difficult that God can work on the deep structure
of our persons. It is at those times that God can reach the unreachable
crevices of our hearts and work on regions where fear and despair seem to
reign.

It is a terrible thing to lose hope. But all is not lost. Though we lose
hope, God is still at work. It may be that during our season of hopelessness
God will extend the rule of the Kingdom of God into new regions of our lives.


In those times when I cannot hope, Lord,
help me to remember the work which
you accomplished during Jesus' hour of darkness.
Remind me, when I lose all hope,
that all hope is not gone
because you continue your work in me.
Extend the rule of your kingdom
into the deepest regions of my heart
where fear and despair have reigned for too long.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Nov 3, 2007

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. . . the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death
to guide our feet into the path of peaceLuke 1:78-79


Many of us grew up expecting bad things. Some of us learned to expect
physical abuse. As a result we may find ourselves covering our heads to
ward off a blow when someone is offering a hug. Others of us learned to
expect to be neglected. As a result we may experience confusion or fear
when someone shows an interest in getting to know us. Expectations which
are formed early in life are difficult for us to change. It is not an easy
thing to allow ourselves to hope when our hopes have been disappointed over
and over again in the past.

Learning to hope, however, means opening ourselves to the possibility
that the future may be different from what we have known in the past. To
hope is to allow ourselves to anticipate the possibility of good things.
Hope is the expectation of good. It is the ability to look for the rising
of the sun, while sitting in the predawn darkness.

Our hope for the future is rooted in a conviction about God's character.
It is because of God's tender mercies that we find it possible to hope.
Because of God's character -- tender and full of mercy -- the sun will rise.
We can anticipate good things because God is a good and loving God.=

I know what it is like to live in darkness, Lord.
My house has been built in the shadow of death.
God of mercy, heal me.
God of tenderness, give light.
Build in me a capacity for hope.
Rise on my darkness, Lord.
Guide my feet out of the paths of fear
and into the path of peace.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Nov 4, 2007

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I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.Psalm 77:11-12

Sometimes hope fails us because of the pain of present circumstances.
The intensity of the daily struggle can overwhelm us and crowd out hope
for the future. We find ourselves unable to focus on a hope-full future
because we cannot see beyond the burdens of the present. But we need hope
in order to continue the journey. Without it we cannot go on. Without
hope there is only the despair that comes when we think nothing will ever
change.

Reviewing our experiences of God's help in the past is one way of nurturing
hope. When present events crowd out hope, leaving despair and fear, we
can turn to the disciplines of remembering. It can sustain our faith and
renew our determination to continue the journey.

Remembering is not an easy discipline for us. Our memory is not good.
Even miracles seem to age quickly - they become 'miracles of long ago'.
Things that seemed unimaginably wonderful at the time can quickly fade
in our memory as present concerns demand our attention. Dramatic breakthroughs
in recovery that seemed to be powerful signs of God's grace and presence
may seem painfully ordinary after a few months. For this reason it may
be necessary to find someone to help us with the discipline of remembering.
Hope can often be renewed by asking a trusted friend to remind us where
we have been. An objective review of the journey to this point helps us
see God's sustaining grace in our lives. And that gives us the hope to go
on.

Lord, help me to remember the specific ways
you have sustained me in the past.
Help me to remember how I have changed.
Help me to remember your love and grace
so that I can grow in my capacity for hope today.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Nov 5, 2007

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Those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.Isaiah 40:31

Hope gives us strength. We need strength for the journey of recovery.
We need strength to make the changes that need to be made -- and strength
to grieve the losses which come with change. We need strength to keep on
keeping on. Recovery requires a great deal of physical, emotional and spiritual
strength. We draw that strength day-to-day from hope.

There are times when hope will allow us to soar. We will feel the exhilaration
of change and new freedom. We will think about the future and imagine good
things. We will soar with gratitude and joy because of hope.

There are other times when hope will allow us to run and not grow weary.
We will keep going. Keep changing. Keep working. Keep feeling. We may get
tired but hope will keep us from getting weary and wanting to give up.
Hope helps us to keep running.

There are other times when hope will allow us to walk without fainting.
Some days, in our recovery journey, continuing the journey at all is very
difficult. The struggle we face may be so intense that we would faint if
it were not for hope. But hope helps us to take the next step. One slow
step at a time. Step by step, without fainting.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of hope.
Thank you for the days when hope
allows me to soar.
And for the days when it
allows me to keep running.
And thank you for the days when hope
gives me the courage to walk
without fainting.
Thank you for hope.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Nov 6, 2007

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Jeremiah 29:11

Hope is about the future. It may be oriented to the next hour, or the
next day, or the next month or year or decade. But hope is always about
anticipation.

Those of us who like to control things often find hope difficult because
we do not control the future. Many of us are compulsive makers-of-plans.
We are willing to work ourselves to death trying to make our plans become
reality. But when our hopes and vision for the future are based only on
what we can control, our vision is inevitably narrowed and impoverished.

We need to remind ourselves regularly, therefore, that God's vision for
the future is better than our own. God sees possibilities and opportunities
that we cannot see. The horizons of God's imagination are not bounded. When
we root our hope in God, a totally different future is possible. It is not
a future we can control. God's plans may not be the same as our plans. But
we can return again and again to God as our source of hope.

God has been clear about our future. It is God's intention to give
us a hope and a future. This is not a promise of a trouble-free life. It
is not a promise of immunity from struggle. But it is a promise of hope.
God has been with us in the past. God is with us in the present. And God
will be with us in the future.

Thank you for paying attention to my future, Lord.
Thank you for making plans.
Help me today to rest in the thought that
your plans for me include blessing.
Open my heart today to the hope and the future
you have prepared for me.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Nov 7, 2007

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.Romans 15:13

Hope does not usually come as the just reward for our hard work and struggle.
It comes as a gift. The experience of hope is very much like the experience
of receiving a surprise gift that is perfectly suited to our needs. A really
good gift is one that fits perfectly both the giver and the receiver. Hope
fits our needs perfectly. But if a gift is out of character with the giver,
then it may be difficult for the receiver to accept without reservations.
Fortunately, hope is just the kind of gift that fits God's character. It
is a perfect fit for God. The God of Hope loves to give hope.

We need to remind ourselves daily that we do not serve the god-of-relentless-cheerfulness,
or the god-of-naivete, or the god-of-blind-optimism. We serve the
God of Hope. God is hope-full and loves to share his hope-full-ness with
us. We can come to God with our fear, doubt and despair and God will give
good gifts to us. When all other reasons for hope fail us, we can return
to the God of Hope because God is greater than our disappointment, greater
than our failure, greater than the problems and conflicts in our hearts
and our homes and our communities and our world.

Surprise me today, Lord.
Surprise me with hope.
Open my eyes to see you clearly.
Help me to see your hope-full-ness.
By the power of the Holy Spirit,
cause me to overflow with hope.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Nov 8, 2007

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The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton
and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners."'
Luke 7:33-34

One of the accusations made by the religious leaders of Jesus' day was
that he partied with undesirables. It was unacceptable in their minds to
associate in any way with undesirables. That would make you 'unclean'.
But it was particularly unacceptable to party with undesirables. Then,
as now, religion was thought to be very serious business, much too serious
for the kind of celebrations that Jesus enjoyed. Religion was supposed
to be about intellectual abstractions and theological detail - not about
going to dinner parties with unsavory characters.

In his teachings Jesus draws extensively on the Old Testament themes
of the Sabbath, the Jubilee and the messianic feast to make a point. Jesus
told many stories about God's love for celebration. When the lost is found,
the finder throws a feast. When the prodigal returns, the father has a
party. When a single person repents, the angels rejoice. And on and on.
Jesus, the man of sorrows, was also a man of celebration and joy.

Like the religious leaders of Jesus' day, we may sometimes find ourselves
resistant to joy. We may resist joy because we fear disappointment. Or
we may resist joy because it doesn't seen congruent with being a serious
minded person of faith. We may resist joy because we have been shamed or
even punished for being overly enthusiastic as a child.

It is a risk to make room for joy in our lives. Joy requires that we
be open to the possibility of experiencing conflicting emotions. If we
wait to experience joy until our anger, grief and self-condemnation are
completely gone, then we will wait a long time. But it is possible to experience
joy without denying or avoiding other more painful emotions. We can follow
Jesus' example of joy today. When joy comes, we can receive it. It is
a good gift from God.

Lord of joy,
Lord of celebration,
Open my heart to the possibility of joy today.
Help me to tolerate the confusion that comes when sorrow and joy
live side by side in my heart.
Give me the courage to
joyfully celebrate life.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Nov 9, 2007

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O lord, you turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.Psalm 30:11,12

Sometimes it can seem that all there is to life is grief. We face painful
realities and allow ourselves to feel the painful feelings. But grief is
only for a season. There will come a season for joy. In fact one of the
most surprising things about the recovery process is that as we grow in
our capacity for experiencing deep emotional pain we also enlarge our capacity
for experiencing joy. Recovery is not just about learning to experience
unpleasant emotions. It is about learning to feel the full range of life's
emotions.

Imagine for a moment that you are 'clothed' in grief. God grieves with
you. It is a time for wailing. Few words pass between you. But there
is a great deal of emotion. Then, one day God brings you a new set of clothes. They are the clothes of joy. The times comes to change clothes. Your heart begins to sing. The time of wailing is over. The time for dancing has come.

Who can say how long this will take? It certainly cannot be rushed.
But God is prepared to be with us through the whole process. God understands
joy. God clothes us with joy and teaches us to dance and sing.

For teaching me to dance, Lord,
I give you thanks.
You are a good teacher.
My heart dances before you, Lord.
Your goodness endures forever.

For teaching me to sing, Lord,
I am grateful.
You are a good teacher.
My heart sings to you, Lord.
Your goodness endures forever.

Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Nov 10, 2007

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Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before
him endured the cross, scorning its shameHebrews 12:2

Shame does not coexist comfortably with joy. Experiences of shame eat
away at the spiritual and emotional foundations on which joy is built.
When we are consumed by shame, joy will keep its distance. But shame has
a way of getting to us. Our defenses against the clever tactics of shame
are not well developed.

Jesus is a powerful example to us of how to resist shame and make room
for joy. First, Jesus 'scorned' shame. He did not give it a stature which
it did not deserve. Experiences of shame did not define who he was. He
was not just the sum of the shame he had experienced in life. His identity
and person were securely rooted in God. So, he was able to experience shaming
experiences without internalizing the shame.

Secondly, Jesus had 'joy set before him'. Experiences of shame hurt
us. Shame is always hurtful. But we are not entirely defenseless. Jesus
drew strength to endure shame from the anticipation of joy. Shame can be
better endured if we allow ourselves to remember that God has plans for
us that include joy. We are not aimlessly adrift in life, headed nowhere,
wanderers in a meaningless maze. On the contrary, every day takes us closer
to the fulfillment of God's purposes. Justice and righteousness will reign
in the end. Jesus' followers share his conviction that joy, not shame,
is God's purpose in creation.

Today we can root ourselves in God's love for us. We can scorn the shame.
We can remind ourselves that God's plans for us include joy.

Help me to scorn shame, Lord.
Help me to root myself so completely in you
that shame has no power over me.
Help me to see the joy you have set before me, Lord.
Remind me today of your plans.
Help me to draw strength today
from the hope that your plans for me include joy.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Nov 11, 2007

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Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.Psalm 103:1

There comes a time in the process of recovery when we find ourselves
seeing life in an entirely different way. Along with the pain, we sense
with increased clarity that life is fundamentally a good gift from God.
This is the experience of gratitude. Gratitude is a kind of participation
in and response to God's grace. Without it, recovery would be a cheerless,
and probably impossible journey.

The experience of gratitude is a response of our inmost being to God's
grace. When gratitude breaks through, we are able to stop our frantic efforts
to earn our way through life. In these moments of calm we see that our
inmost being belongs to God. We are God's creation. Sometimes that is
all we need. Other times this thought that we are God's creation is so
far beyond all we could ever have asked, hoped or dreamed for, that our
heart fills with praise and joy.

It is difficult to explain how, or why, or when gratitude comes. Sometimes
we try to force gratitude on ourselves. Sometimes other people try to force
it on us. But it cannot be coerced. It will not come from pretending.
It will not come from telling ourselves that some people are worse off
than we are. But it does come. And, when it comes, it breaks through our
pain and surprises us with joy.

We cannot insist on gratitude today. But we can remind ourselves that
we are God's creation. And we can wait for a new awareness of God's grace
to surprise us with joy.

Give me a capacity for gratitude today, Lord.
Break through the clouds of pain in my life.
Surprise me with joy.
Fill my soul, my inmost being, with gratitude for life
and with praise to you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 11/12/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
Luke 15:8

God rejoices when we turn away from our self-destructive way of life toward a grace-full way of life. God rejoices.

The process of recovery begins when we are able by God's grace to recognize that our efforts to be God -- to control, to make things perfect -- have failed. When this happens we are able to face clearly the behaviors which have been destructive to ourselves and others. We can then turn from our sin to God. Even when this process involves a long search, God rejoices when we are found.

When a child is born, it is a joyful event. Functional parents prize the child. They hold the child and talk to the child and marvel over the child. The infant does not yet contribute much to the world. It comes as a bundle of needs. But the infant brings joy simply by being.

God is our Good Father. God prizes our existence in the world. God desires to have a relationship with us. Even when we are a bundle of needs and not yet able to contribute much to the world, God rejoices over us. When we are restored, reconciled, found, it brings God joy.

God rejoices over you. God experiences joy when you are found. God throws a party when your relationship is re-established. God finds joy in you.

Lord, help me to take it in.
I can't image myself as the object of your joy.
Help me to see that you find joy in me.
Amen.
1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Nov 13, 2007

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Remain in my love. . . I have told you this so that my joy may be in you
and that your joy may be complete.John 15:10-11

It is sometimes difficult to imagine joy at all. When we struggle with
failure, or we are faced with our need for change or we are grieving old
losses - in those times joy seems unimaginable.

But joy can come in the midst of these struggles as we learn what it
means to remain in Jesus' love.

We do not have to grieve or change alone. We learn early in recovery
that we will not get very far if we remain isolated. We also learn early
that we need to turn to a power that is greater than ourselves. To recover
we need to learn to remain -- or abide or spend time -- in the love Jesus
gives us. We are loved by God. And we are loved by other people. It is
in these loving relationships that we find joy.

In John 15 Jesus has been describing himself as the vine, telling us
that we are branches. He is our life-line. We need to stay closely connected
to him. We can no longer pretend to be self sufficient. We must daily
acknowledge our need for help and relatedness.

Jesus told us this truth because he wanted us to experience joy. "Remain
in my love", Jesus said, "so your joy will be complete."

Lord, help me to remain in love.
Help me not to distance myself from you or from others.
Help me to give up pretending to be self sufficient.
Help me to remember that it is in loving and in being loved
that I will find healing and joy.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[janbear]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 11/14/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)


He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust".
Psalm 91:1-2

Imagine yourself traveling across a desert in the heat of the afternoon sun. You are desperate for a place to rest. You need shelter from the heat. You search the horizon for a tree or a large rock that could provide the comfort of shade.

During the process of recovery we become aware of our need for a sheltered place in which to rest. The journey can be exhausting and disorienting. But we don't know how to rest. It doesn't come naturally to us. We don't know where to find a safe shelter.

Now imagine yourself resting in God's shadow. You are sheltered, safe, at rest. The heat of the desert will not consume you because of God's protection. You can sit and rest in God's loving presence. God is a shade, a shelter, a fortress. You can draw strength and comfort from God's presence.

Rest has the potential of teaching us two essential truths. First, we are not God. God is God. We are creatures. We are limited, finite, dependent. It is a good thing to be a creature with needs. Second, when we rest we may learn in new ways that we are loved. Because we are God's children, God loves us. Not because of what we do, but simply because of who we are, we are loved.

I turn to you, Lord
from the heat of the sun
and the pressures of the journey of life.
I turn to you
for shelter
and refuge.
I want to rest in you today.
Be my shelter
O Most High.
Amen.

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Nov 15, 2007

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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give
you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is
easy and my burden is light."Matthew 11:28-30

God desires to give us rest. But we resist this gift. No matter how
badly we may want to rest, it is not an easy gift to receive. We may be
weary. We may be burdened. But we are good at minimizing and avoiding
our needs. As soon as we get this next task done, then we will rest. As
soon as there's time for it, then we will rest. We want to rest, but we
have to work real hard to make time for resting and then when we're back
at work we will need to work real hard to make up for the 'lost' time.

While we resist the gift of rest, many of us welcome burdens. We find
it easier to believe that burdens are the gift God really wants to give
us. We will welcome a difficult mission from God, a task, a challenge.
We welcome the opportunity to wear ourselves out in ministry.

But the heavy burdens, the weariness are not God's plan for us. God's
burden is light. God's plan for us is not exhaustion but soul rest. God
wants us to be so rested that it sinks down to the foundations of our person.
God wants us to be rested down to our souls. In rest we find that many
of the burdens of life do not belong to us. We find the freedom to give
back to God those things over which we have no control.

Give me the courage to come and receive from you, Lord.
Burdens weigh heavy on my soul.
Give me the courage to come and receive from you, Lord.
My restless soul longs for you.
Give me the courage to come and receive from you, Lord.
Replace these burdens with your rest.
Share with me your easy yoke
so that I can find rest for my soul.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Nov 16, 2007

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There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone
who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from
his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest . . .let us
then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive
mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.Hebrews 4:9-11,16

God rested from his work.

And God invites us to rest from ours. In our time of need God invites
us to experience the rest-full-ness that comes from receiving mercy and
grace.

But we resist. Rest is such a reversal of our expectations. We don't
expect mercy and grace. We expect criticism. We don't expect to be invited
to approach with confidence; we expect rejection. We don't expect rest,
we expect to receive a list of demanding tasks to perform. Becoming the
kind of people who are capable of rest will require us to change. It will
require effort on our part.

First, we will need to change the way we see ourselves. We are attached
to the illusion that we have no limits. We may not claim to be immortal,
but if you examine our behavior, we act as if we need less rest than God.
God rested. We don't. Clearly something is wrong. If we are to become the
kind of people who are capable of rest, it will take some effort to change
the way we see ourselves.

Second, to increase our capacity for rest, we will need to change our
behavior. Rest is not an idea. It is a behavior. It will take some effort
to change the way we live. We will need to learn the skills that make it
possible for us to say no to over commitment. We will need to build rest
into the rhythm of our lives.

God rested. We need to do the same.

Help me to acknowledge my need for rest, Lord.
Help me to make quiet spaces in my life
when I cease all my doing
and allow myself to be.
Help me to make the effort to rest today.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 11/17/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
>Mark 2:27

The Sabbath is a day of rest. It is a day to stop working, to reflect, to remember, to celebrate. It is a day for quietness and a day for worship. God's concerns about the Sabbath do not come from a desire to control us. Jesus made it clear that Sabbath-keeping was not meant to be one more compulsion, one more "should", one more obligation. God does not ask us to rest because he wants to create one more burden for us.

Rest for people is like oil changes for internal combustion engines. A lot of careful engineering goes into the manufacturer's recommendations about oil changes. Maybe we can put it off for a while, but we can't put it off forever. The engine will stop working. Irreversible damage will be done. The manufacturer does not recommend oil changes because it has a vested interest in selling lots of oil. The manufacturer knows what the engine needs and wants it to run for us without breaking down.

God wants our experience with life to be a positive one. And God knows what we need for this to happen. God knows we can put off rest for a while, but we can not put it off forever. We will stop functioning. We will do irreversible damage.

Many of us have a history of taking days of rest and making them the most rest-less days of the week. We have an amazing ability to fill a day of rest with non-stop activity. But expressing our compulsivity in leisure activities is not the same thing as rest. It will take some creativity and discipline for us to find ways to keep the Sabbath that work for us. But that's what God wants. God wants Sabbath to be 'for' us. The Sabbath is God's gracious provision for us.

Help me not to become compulsive about rest, Lord.
I am compulsive about so many other things.
Spare me from adding this to my long list of things to do.
You offer me rest, Lord,
because you love me.
Let me, out of a growing love for you and for myself
allow myself to rest today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Nov 18, 2007

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In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strengthIsaiah 30:15

Our work is an important part of our identity. We have a legitimate need to contribute and to feel competent. Too often, however, this legitimate need is distorted by a compulsion to work. We work and work and work because we want to prove ourselves, because we want to feel capable and strong. When our identity and value are primarily wrapped up in our productivity it provides us with an appearance of strength. But this strength does not go deep - it is only a matter of appearances. The more we achieve or produce, the more anxious we become. We wonder when it will all come crashing down. We wonder when we will be 'found out'.

This text suggests that strength comes from other sources. Probably the most surprising suggestions are that strength comes from quietness and salvation comes from rest. Why would rest and quietness be so important?

Salvation is not possible when we are in charge because we are not the Messiah. We cannot save the world. We cannot even save ourselves. When we rest, we are forced to abandon our messianic illusions. When we rest we accept our place as creatures in need of being saved by someone with power greater than our own. When we do this, repentance comes and salvation is possible.

Quietness has a similar effect. We cannot hear what God has to say when our lives are full of noise. The frenzy of life can drown out God's voice. But when we rest, we can again hear God's voice. And it is God's words of love that can make us strong.

Lord, I am not very strong.
All my striving, and doing and proving
haven't made me strong.
I long for the deep strengththat comes from quietness
and from trust.
I rest my weary soul in you today, Lord.
Give me the courage to be quiet.
Give me the faith to trust in you.
Strengthen me today
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

11/19

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Nov 19, 2007

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All who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it
and who hold fast to my covenant -
these I will bring to my holy mountain
and give them joy in my house of prayer.Isaiah 56:6b-7a

Rest can lead to joy because it creates a new perspective in us. Rest reminds us that we don't have to be compulsively responsible for the world and everything in it. Rest reminds us that God is in charge. Rest also leads to joy because it leads to a renewed relationship with God. As this text puts it, God promises to lead Sabbath-keepers to his holy mountain. In rest we can be led to a place of joy in God's house of prayer. It is a beautiful image of God rejoicing with people who rest.

Rest can also lead to joy because it restores us. It renews and re-energizes us because it allows us to balance our "being" with our "doing". When we cease doing for a time, our senses are opened again to the world around us. We can see life with new gratitude and awe. And gratitude and awe produce joy.

Rest frees us to be what we are - creatures. We are creatures who can work and play, give and receive, weep and laugh. Today we can balance our working, giving and weeping with playing, receiving and laughing.

Lord, I want to stop doing for a time today.
I want to stop and remember that you are God.
Help me to experience the freedom and joy of being your creature.
Help to keep the Sabbath.
Bring me to your holy mountain.
Give me joy in your house of prayer.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

11/20

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Nov 20, 2007

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Jeremiah 29:11

Hope is about the future. It may be oriented to the next hour, or the
next day, or the next month or year or decade. But hope is always about
anticipation.

Those of us who like to control things often find hope difficult because
we do not control the future. Many of us are compulsive makers-of-plans.
We are willing to work ourselves to death trying to make our plans become
reality. But when our hopes and vision for the future are based only on
what we can control, our vision is inevitably narrowed and impoverished.

We need to remind ourselves regularly, therefore, that God's vision for
the future is better than our own. God sees possibilities and opportunities
that we cannot see. The horizons of God's imagination are not bounded. When
we root our hope in God, a totally different future is possible. It is not
a future we can control. God's plans may not be the same as our plans. But
we can return again and again to God as our source of hope.

God has been clear about our future. It is God's intention to give
us a hope and a future. This is not a promise of a trouble-free life. It
is not a promise of immunity from struggle. But it is a promise of hope.
God has been with us in the past. God is with us in the present. And God
will be with us in the future.

Thank you for paying attention to my future, Lord.
Thank you for making plans.
Help me today to rest in the thought that
your plans for me include blessing.
Open my heart today to the hope and the future
you have prepared for me.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Nov 21, 2007

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Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' Luke 15:4-5

It is easy for us to lose our way. We may start off with confidence. We think we know where we are and where we are headed. And, then, somewhere along the way in life we get lost. We find ourselves alone and we don't know where we are. We get confused and disoriented. We don't know how to find our way back, how to get 'on track' again.

Fortunately, God pays attention. God notices that we are lost. And, because of the great value God sees in us, God sets out to find us. God searches for us. God pursues us until we are found.

When God finds us, most of us expect God to say: 'Where have you been? I have been looking all over for you! Can't you follow directions? What's wrong with you? I don't want to have to come back out here again to find you. Try to pay attention from now on!'

But there is no hint of scolding, shaming, yelling or blaming in this text. When God finds us, God is full of joy. God picks us up and carries us home. God celebrates.

God pays attention. God notices when we are lost. God searches for us. And God celebrates when we are found. Recovery is the gift of being found by God.

I was lost, Lord.
Alone..
Disoriented. Confused. Afraid.
You found me.
I expected blame and rejection when you found me.
I expected you to be full of rage.
I expected you to see me as an inconvenience.
But you greeted me with joy.
With celebration!
Thank you for finding me.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Nov 22, 2007

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I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power . . .to grasp . . . the love of Christ.Ephesians 3:17

We all have root systems. Roots are life-lines. They seek out and drink in water and nutrients. And they provide stability in times of wind and erosion.

Unfortunately, many of us are rooted in the soil of shame. Roots in this rocky soil become bound. They cannot sustain growth. They are not able to provide nourishment or stability.

Recovery for many of us is like being transplanted. It is the process of allowing God to first pull us out of the parched and rocky soil of shame and to then plant us in the soil of love. In the rich soil of love our fragile roots can finally begin to stretch, grow and take hold. It is a soil in which real nourishment and real stability are possible.

But transplantation is not a simple matter. No matter how gently God pulls us up out of the soil of shame, there will be trauma. And sinking roots in new soil will feel like an unfamiliar and risky adventure.

As our roots sink deeper and deeper in the soil of God's love, however, we will begin to experience growth that never could have been possible in the soil of rejection and shame. We will become 'rooted and established' in love.

My roots are in poor soil, Lord.
They do not nourish.
They provide no stability.
My roots are bound, Lord.
Transplant me.
Give me grace-full soil, Lord.
Sink my roots deeply.
Give me stability.
Nourish me.
In your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Nov 23, 2007

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I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:1-2

A weaned child in the psalmist's culture is a child who can walk and talk. It is a child who for many months has been nourished day and night at it's mother's breast. Every time the pain of hunger came, the child enjoyed the powerful combination of having its stomach filled with warm milk while being held in a close, intimate embrace. Messages of love and valuing flowed into the child's spirit while the life-sustaining milk flowed into its body.

Love and nourishment are the soil in which security grows. A weaned child still needs to eat. But, it is not frantic about its next meal. It has learned that it's needs are important, that they will be noticed and that they can be met. Because of the love and nourishment it has received, a weaned child has grown secure.

Recovery is like being loved and nourished until we can be weaned. We don't grow out of having needs - our goal is not mere self reliance. Rather our goal is to experience love and nourishment. As we do so, we gradually become less frantic about our next meal. We grow. We heal. Eventually a new kind of security grows in us - not the security of toxic self-reliance, but the security that comes from nurture. We become less frantic, less fragile. Our souls become stilled and quieted.

Nourish me, Lord.
Nourish me with your love.
Calm the frantic feelings within me.
Grow a sense of security within me.
I want to be able to sit quietly.
Like a weaned child.
Nourished.
Secure in your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Nov 24, 2007

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Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:14-16

"Why can't you grow up?!" Parents sometimes express their anger and impatience with their children in this way. But, it is not a shameful thing to be a child. To acknowledge our child-like-ness is to acknowledge our limits and our dependency. It is to make room for wonder, trust and joy in our lives. If that is what it means to be a child, then we need more of it.

But there is also a sense, as in this text, in which to be child-like is to be immature or unstable. It is a good thing to grow-up. Not because it is shameful to be a child, but because growth is part of God's plan for us. Being "tossed back and forth" is an exhausting way to live. We need to find some way to live without being "blown here and there".

Growing up is hard work. The reason for this, as this text suggests, is that growing up is closely connected with learning to speak the truth. Honesty is a central dynamic of growth and recovery. Increasing our capacity for honesty is not an easy process. But, as we speak the truth in love, we will experience some dramatic changes in our relationships. We will find a more intimate relationship with God - we will 'grow up into Christ'. And we will also find ourselves 'joined and held together' in a community of faith.

Help me to be a child, Lord,
Help me to face my dependencies and my limits.
But, help me to grow up as well.
I'm tired of being tossed back and forth.
I want more stability than being blown here and there.
I want to have stable, healthy relationships
with you, and with others.
So, build within me a capacity for honesty.
Help me to speak the truth in love
so that I can grow up.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Nov 25, 2007

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Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect,
but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of
me. Philippians 3:12


Some days the desire to be 'finished' with recovery is almost overwhelming.
It is such an attractive thought. To be 'done'. It sounds so good. Done.
Finally. Please, Lord, I want to be done today.


But, we have learned something about our capacity for self-deceit. We have
learned that we are not entirely in control of the process of recovery.
And, we have learned something about the dangers of complacency. It can
lead us back into denial, and toward relapse. There is no more dangerous
moment for us than the moment we become convinced that we are all better.



Recovery is 'pressing on'. We have not 'already obtained.' We have not 'already
been made perfect.' Tomorrow's recovery cannot be done in advance. And yesterday's
recovery, although it has changed and enriched us, is not the same thing
as today's recovery. Today's recovery can only be done today.


The process of recovery restructures our lives in some very fundamental
ways. We had learned silence, and in recovery we learn to speak the truth.
We had learned not to feel, and in recovery we learn to feel. We had learned
either not to need other people at all or to be excessively dependent on
other people, and in recovery we learn to need other people in appropriate
ways. These are significant changes. But, they are not irreversible changes.
We can go back to silence, emotional numbness and unhealthy relationships.
Recovery is necessarily therefore a new way of life. It is a daily pressing
on. It is the day-at-a-time practice of the disciplines of recovery that
makes it possible for us to continue to heal, grow and change.


Lord, you have brought me so far.
Thank you. I am grateful for all I have gained.
But, I want to press on.
I want to continue to grow.
I want to continue to learn.
Help me to press on.
Help me to do today's recovery today.
Help me to press on toward you.
Take hold of me with your love.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Nov 26, 2007

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Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their
distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke
away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and
cuts through bars of iron. Psalm 107:13-16


Addictions and compulsions are a kind of bondage. Painful memories are also
like chains that bind us. We try harder and harder to change. But sometimes
the harder we try, the tighter the chains become. Recovery begins when we
recognize that our bondage is too great for us. We are not powerful enough to break these chains. Either we will find a power greater than ourselves
to help us, or we will stay in bondage.


Many people find the idea of powerlessness to be very troubling. We want
to be competent and self-reliant. And, many of us have had people attempt
to 'rescue' us in ways that have increased our shame and self-contempt.
So, why should we welcome the God-who-rescues? Won't he also shame us?


First, notice in this text that God's intervention is in response to a request.
We do not serve a codependent God. God is not entangled in our compulsions.
God will not rescue in ways that are shame-full. God knows that we need to
be ready to be helped and that we need to cry out for help.


Notice also in this text that it is the God-of-unfailing-love who is our
higher power. Because so many of us are convinced that God is vindictive,
punitive and abusive, it can be terrifying in our powerlessness to focus
on the power of God. We are sure that all of that power will be used against
us. But the God-of-unfailing-love is not a vindictive, punitive or abusive
God. God is a God-of-tough-love. That's the only kind of love that can be
'unfailing.' But God is not 'against' us. God is 'for' us.


Recovery is being set free by God's powerful love.


I was powerless, Lord.
I expected you to increase my shame and self-contempt.
But you are a God of unfailing love.
I expected you to use your power against me.
But when I called, you came.
You crashed the gates.
You cut the bars.
You broke the chains.
You are leading me out of this darkness and deepest gloom
into the light of day.
Thank you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 11/27/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.
Isaiah 9:2

We know what it is like to walk in darkness. We know what it is like to live in the shadow of death. But we also are beginning to experience what it is like to see. The darkness of denial is giving way to the light of honesty in our lives.

Of course, when you have lived in darkness as long as we have, the light can be painfully bright. We see the truth about ourselves and our self destructive behavior. We see the truth about our refusal of love. We see the truth of our brokenness. We see old pain. We see current behaviors that damage ourselves and others. The light dawns. It is not a pretty sight.

But God does not send light into our darkness to shame us. The exposure may trigger our deep shame, but this is not God's purpose. God's light is like the light of dawn. It is a light that signals that something new is happening. A new beginning is possible. The light that God brings into our dark world is a light of hope.

Recovery is God's light coming into our darkness. The light exposes. We begin to see clearly the ways we have sinned and the ways other people have sinned against us. And the light provides hope. In the light we see the possibility for new beginnings.

Lord, your light hurts my eyes.
It is too bright.
I see too clearly now.
It is too painful for me.
Help me to believe that your light is not to bring shame
but to bring hope into my dark world.
Light of Heaven, embrace me with your warmth.
Heal me with your bright rays.
Give me life.
And hope.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Nov 28, 2007

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Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me. Rev. 3:20

Some people enter without knocking. It happens. Our boundaries have not always been respected. As a result, we have built some significant defenses. Our doors have multiple locks. When needed, they can be latched, barred, bolted, double bolted and sealed securely.

As we begin the healing process, however, we begin to experiment with allowing our defenses to come down. We unlatch one lock at a time.

Nothing is more helpful in this process than having people who respect our boundaries - people who will knock and wait patiently for an answer. So, this picture of Jesus is full of good news for us. Jesus stands at the door and knocks. It is pure invitation. God does not invade. God does not demand. God does not manipulate. God gently, persistently knocks. God says 'here I am, I would like to spend time with you'.

Recovery is a process of learning to trust God. Trust grows slowly. We can't do that all at once. But perhaps today we can listen carefully for a knock. Tomorrow we may be able to manage a "who is there?". And, with persistence, we will some day sit at table with God and enjoy God's loving presence.

Lord, thank you for knocking.
Thank you for respecting my boundaries.
And, thank you for knocking persistently.
It takes me a while to respond
because my doors have so many latches.
Give me courage this day
to open the doors of my life to you.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Nov 29, 2007

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Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in
the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:1


Most of us have spent a lot of money and a lot of effort on things that
do not satisfy. When our efforts do not result in serenity, we become more
and more confused and more and more frantic. Into the middle of this chaos
and desperation comes an invitation. God invites us to receive 'food' which is designed to delight our souls.


God's invitation is to people who are thirsty or hungry. It is to people
who are working hard but finding little satisfaction. The invitation extends
to those who have no money or assets of any kind. God is not sparing or stingy. God is an extravagant giver of good things. God wants us to delight in the richest of fare.


The nourishment at God's feast does more than please our taste-buds. This
meal is more than mere esthetic pleasure. The nourishment from God's table
feeds our souls with delight. It is nourishment that sinks down to the deepest
places of our being. God seeds delight in the foundations of our soul. And
from these seeds come serenity, peace and the courage to continue.


God, I'm thirsty.
I have spent my money and energy
on things that have not satisfied.
God, my soul is hungry.
I need food for my soul.

Help me to come to you, Lord.
You know my hesitation.
You know how suspicious I am
of such an extravagant invitation.
Help me to come as an eager child
to receive good things from you.
Feed my soul, Lord,
until it is full of delight.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Nov 30, 2007

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Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like
scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18

There are three common but unhelpful ways of dealing with our failures and
sins. First, there is denial. We tell ourselves that everybody has problems,
so it doesn't really matter. Nothing of any value comes from this effort
to cover-up. A second unhelpful strategy is to blame others for what has
happened. This can range from different versions of 'the-devil-made-me-do-it'
to 'I'm just a product of my environment'. Nothing of any value comes from
this effort to cover-up. Thirdly, instead of turning the emotional energy
outwards in blame we can turn it against ourselves as self-loathing. We
see ourselves as monsters and what we have done as unforgivable. Nothing
of value comes from this effort to atone for our own sins.

God invites us to another path. God invites us to be transformed. God
invites us to stop denying, blaming and catastrophisizing about our lives.
In order to change and grow we need to face the reality of our actions and
attitudes. We need to understand that our sins are like scarlet, like crimson.
They are life-draining. Destructive. But we are forgivable. We are invited
to receive forgiveness. And we are invited to change. The life-draining
behaviors that we have pursued can be changed. Changed from bright red to
snow white. We do not have to let denial, blame and shame lock us into destructive,
hurtful patterns. We can be clean and sober. White as snow. Forgiven.

Lord, free me from denial.
The pretense is choking me to death.
Lord, free me from blame.
It's not working for me anymore.
Lord, free me from self-loathing
The shame is killing me.
Help me to face the truth.
Help me to accept your offer of forgiveness and change.
Make me white as snow.
Make me as clean and pure as new wool.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Dec 1, 2007

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Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may
receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.Hebrews 4:16

Many of us find it very difficult to feel confident in intimate relationships.
If we learned early in life that the people most important to us were unapproachable,
then confidently approaching others as adults may be difficult. There are
many ways to learn that approaching other people is dangerous. It can come
from abuse, or criticism, or disinterest.

One result of experiences of this kind is that we find it difficult to be
confident when we approach God. This is particularly true when we are feeling
fragile, weak or needy. The last thing we expect is mercy and grace in our
time of need. We expect to be criticized. We expect God to say 'why are
you still so needy?'. We expect to be abandoned. We expect God to say 'I'm
busy now.' We expect to be rejected. We expect God to say 'If only you had
more faith or prayed more or read the Bible more or trusted me more.'
With expectations like this, it is no surprise that we lack confidence when
approaching God.

But God offers us an invitation we long to hear. He invites us to approach. And, God invites us to come with confidence. God will pay attention.
God will hear us. God will be interested in our well-being. God will respond
with mercy, grace and help.

I don't have much confidence, Lord.
I don't trust other people very much .
I don't trust you very much.
I don't expect mercy and grace
from anybody, especially in times when I'm this needy.
I expect criticism, abandonment, and rejection.

Thank you for inviting me to come to you.
Thank you for providing good reasons to have confidence in you.
You are full of mercy and grace.

This is a time of need for me, Lord.
Give me confidence to approach you today.
I need your mercy and grace.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Dec 2, 2007

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Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.Philippians 4:6

We can hang on to our attempts to control ourselves and others and stay
anxious. Or we can let go and let God.

We are anxious because we think we have to take care of everything and everybody.
We are anxious because we believe we cannot be happy unless we can control
the people we love. We are anxious because life's problems are more than
we can handle, but we try to handle them on our own anyway.

God invites us to give up our anxious way of life. We do not have to take
care of everything and everybody. We can, instead, let God take care of
us. We can bring our anxious hearts and our long lists of concerns to God.

Responding to this invitation requires a great deal of us. It requires that
we acknowledge that we cannot do what we have been trying to do. We are
powerless. It requires that we turn to God. It requires that we release our control, our anxiety, our very lives into God's care.

God invites us to serenity. "Give up your anxiety," God says "bring
the concerns of your heart to me."

I am anxious, Lord.
And I feel guilty about feeling anxious.
And I feel anxious about feeling guilty.
And I feel anxious about feeling guilty about feeling anxious.
Help!
I am overwhelmed by all I am trying to do.
I need your invitation to serenity.
I bring you my requests today, Lord.
I bring them to you.
I admit that I do not have the power to solve these problems.
I acknowledge that you are Powerful.
I ask you to take care of me today.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Dec 3, 2007

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The Lord Jesus on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had
given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for
you; do this in remembrance of me. "1 Corinthians 11:24

People in the recovery process are people with painful memories. We remember
our losses. We remember our sins. We remember the sins which have been committed
against us. It is part of the hard work of recovery to face these memories,
to grieve them and to come to terms with them. But sometimes the painful
memories become so powerful that it seems like nothing will be able to compete
with them for our attention. The memory of pain consumes us. In times like
this we need a powerful new memory that can challenge the dominance of our
painful memories.

Jesus invites us to receive a new and startling memory. "Remember me,"
Jesus says, "Eat the bread and drink the wine and remember that I gave
my life for you. I gave my life because I love you. Take this new memory.
Allow it to shape the way you think about yourself and about life and about
me. Allow yourself to remember me."

It is not that the memory of Jesus' sacrificial love erases all of our painful
memories. Painful memories still have to be faced and grieved if healing
is to come. But God offers us in Jesus a memory powerful enough to compete
with the most powerful of painful memories. The death-grip which painful
memories have on our attention can be broken by the powerful memory of God's
love.

Help me to remember you, Lord.
Help me to find a place
in my mind and heart
for the memory of your love for me.
I want the memory of your love, Lord,
to be the most powerful of my memories.
I want it to be
The Memory
that shapes me.
Help me to remember you.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 12/4/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us.
1 John 1:8-9

Few people will be so overt as to say 'I am without sin'. Self-deceit is rarely that obvious. It often comes masked in socially acceptable and socially rewarded forms of behavior.

Perfectionism, for example, is a common expression of self deceit. We try very hard to look good. Sometimes we work so hard to look perfect, ('without sin'), that we nearly convince ourselves that it's true. Then, in the moments when we suddenly remember our human condition, we feel shame and self-contempt. And this often makes us want to work even harder to cover over reality with more layers of self deceit.

But self-deceit will never lead to change and growth. Only honesty can bring change. Recovery begins as we face our failures, our wrong-doing, and our self-destructive choices.

For people like us, who have tried very, very hard to be very, very good, facing reality can be painful work. The courage to pursue taking an honest inventory of our lives is not possible without some source of compassion and forgiveness that can replace our shame and self contempt. The good news is that God is compassionate and forgiving. God freely, joyfully, completely pardons. Because of this hope, we can look honestly at ourselves. Because we can turn to God and find mercy and pardon, we can make a fearless inventory of our lives.

Dear God, I have tried hard.
I have tried harder.
I have tried my hardest.
But it has only led to self-deceit.
Help me, God, I need you.
I need your compassion to overpower my self contempt.
I need your forgiveness to overpower my self condemnation.
Rid me of self-deceit, God.
And build in me a capacity for honesty.
Not so that I can be perfect, but so that I can genuinely change.
And, so that I can rejoice in your love for me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Dec 5, 2007

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"So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be
alert and self-controlled" 1 Thessalonians 5:6

The first step toward honesty is to pay attention. In the words of this
text, the choices we face are either to sleep or to be alert and self-controlled.

There are days when we would rather 'sleep'. There are days when the emotional
numbness of denial seems less painful then the alertness required by recovery.
Couldn't we just 'let it ride' for a day? Couldn't we just 'sleep' for a
while?

Sometimes people encourage us to 'sleep'. "Why are you still paying
attention to that? It was a long time ago!" Or "Why are you still
'holding on' to that? Just forgive and get it behind you." Wouldn't
it be great to get this over with quickly and not have to pay attention
to it anymore?

There is a rest, a serenity, that comes from God. But it comes from 'alertness'
not from 'sleep'. God's peace is not like the 'sleep' in this text. This
sleep is denial, it is avoidance, it is distraction, it is
pretending, it is death. Being alert means that we allow ourselves to see
and hear, to use our senses and mind and heart. It means that we pay attention
to what is happening inside of us and around us. The text urges us to be
alert, to pay attention. Pay attention, it urges, even if life is painful,
even if it is not what we want it to be.

Lord, help me to pay attention today!
Help me not to put my feelings to sleep.
I want to be aware of my thoughts and feelings, Lord.
I want to be able to experience both the pain and joy of life today.
Help me to pay attention.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Dec 6, 2007

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No more lying then. Everyone must tell the truth to his fellow believers
because we are all members together in the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:25

Honesty is essential to recovery. Honesty is essential to intimacy. But
honesty is not easy.

We were not created to be isolated, independent creatures. We were created
to be interdependent. We need each other. And in order for us to be helped
by others and to be helpful to others, we need to practice honesty. That
means we must learn how to talk to each other about our thoughts and our
feelings and our needs. We must learn to talk about our struggles and failures,
about our dreams and our successes.

Honesty is the soil in which intimate relationships grow. It creates the
possibility of being known and loved for who we really are. But it is also
full of risks. If we tell the truth about ourselves, people may not listen.
They may not want to know. They may not understand. They may judge and reject.
They may dislike us. They may give us simple answers to unanswerable questions.
They may repeat what we have said to others.

We hesitate to be honest because we have experienced these things in the
past. Our feelings may have been minimized. Our thoughts may have been devalued.
Our reality may have been denied. But in order to grow healthy relationships,
in order to heal and recover, we need to begin to take risks. Learning honesty
will be a process for us. It will not come quickly. But as we practice the
disciplines of honesty we gradually become more secure in telling the truth.

I am tired of lying, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
But I am afraid of honesty, Lord.
It's not as easy as it sounds.
Help me to pursue honesty today.
Help me to be honest with you.
Help me to be honest with myself.
Help me to build a community of faith
where honesty is the norm.
Build in me a capacity for truth.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 12/7/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales. It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas - no wonder my words have been impetuous.
Job 6:1-3

When we have lived for a long time by the 'don't talk' rule, learning to talk honestly and personally can be a real challenge. Our attempts to move away from self-deceit toward honest self-disclosure may be quite awkward. It's not reasonable to expect ourselves to be gifted at telling the truth when we have practiced deceit for so long. Sometimes our words will seem startling. We will feel our pain, find our voice, and the words and emotions will tumble out raw and uncensored. This text calls these 'impetuous' words. Another translation of this text calls them 'wild words'.

It is not easy to break the silence, to talk about what is real, to tell the truth about what we see and hear, to share what we think and feel, to tell our stories. Breaking the silence is like breaking the sound barrier - sometimes it can be quite loud and it can rattle the walls a little. When our misery feels like it 'outweighs the sands of the sea,' our emotions are going to be intense and our words will sometimes be wild.

Wild words are part of the journey and should not surprise us. Intense feelings sometimes need strong language in order to find true expression.

Lord, I am not accustomed to talking.
I am not gifted at honesty.
I have practiced 'don't talk' for a long time.
And now I need to practice honesty.
Help me to be patient and accepting of my wild words.
Even when the wild words frighten me.
Help me to pursue the truth.
Give me the courage I need.
You, Lord, who created the worlds with a word,
Give me the words I need.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Dec 8, 2007

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Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that
you may be healed.James 5:16

Sometimes honest confession can seem astonishing, impossible, and dangerous.
Because we have learned silence so well, we experience honesty as full of
risk. After all, if we are honest, then other people will know what we think
and feel. We will be exposed. The appearance of strength and competence
we work so hard to cultivate will have to share the stage with our weaknesses,
our failings, our sins.

When we practice honesty as a daily discipline, however, something happens
to us. The promise of this text begins gradually to grow in our lives. We
begin to heal. It is not a dramatic, once-for-all-time, quick-fix kind of
healing. Nor is it a private healing, a healing that happens only 'inside'
our heads or in secret with God.

Honesty leads to healing because people can now express their love for us
in practical ways. Honesty leads to healing because we no longer have to
pay the high tariffs that pretense demands. We heal because the experience
of acceptance counteracts the contempt we so easily heap on ourselves. We
heal because we are no longer alone. We heal because we are known and loved.

Honesty is a discipline with a promise. We will be healed.

Lord, give me the humility and
the courage
to practice confession today.
Heal me as I do the work of honesty.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, 12/9/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15

We have many reasons, often what seem to be really good reasons, to be 'strong'. But if the bottom line of being 'strong' is to constrict the range of emotions which we allow ourselves to experience, what do we gain? We become people incapable of honestly experiencing the emotional realities of life. In this and many other ways we manage to avoid the clear biblical injunction to mourn with those who mourn. Our instincts are often to cheer other people up, to look on the bright side of things, to remind people of things they already know to be true. This text urges us to do the most basic of things. When it is time to mourn, we can mourn.

We can also rejoice when it is time to rejoice. It might seem like it would be easier to rejoice together. But this is not necessarily true. People in recovery have often experienced so many disappointments and betrayals that we find it difficult to experience good things. When something good happens, we expect that bad things will be waiting right around the corner. Instead of rejoicing, our instincts are to protect ourselves from the possibility of the soon-to-follow danger. We do our best to 'stay calm' so that we won't be disappointed. But again, this text urges us to do the most basic of things. When it is time to rejoice, rejoice.

The full range of life's emotions are to be experienced in community. As we share the most basic elements of life together, as we party together and hold each other in times of pain, we will become a fellowship distinguished by a capacity for honesty.

I rejoice, Lord
You do not tell me to calm down.
You do not warn me about getting too excited.
You encourage me to celebrate.
'Party together', you say.

I mourn, Lord.
You do not tell me to cheer up.
You do not tell me to 'be strong'.
You encourage me to experience the pain.
'Weep together' you say.

Thank you.
Thank you for welcoming the full range
of human emotions.
Thank you for joy and sorrow.
Give me the courage to weep with others.
Give me the freedom to rejoice with others.
Amen

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Dec 10, 2007

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A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he
forsakes the fear of the Almighty.Job 6:14

At some point during the recovery process we re-examine our most fundamental
beliefs. A long process of sorting, examining and questioning takes place.
And, in that process, our relationship with God is challenged. It is possible
that our relationship with God will deepen and strengthen in the process.
But it is also possible that we will find ourselves pulling away from God.
We may find ourselves angry with God, or afraid of God, or unable to believe
in God at all. This can be a frightening experience. It can feel like the
very foundations of life are being shaken.

In times like this, we need many things. But at the top of the list is our
need for friends who will accept us even if we turn away from God. We need
friends who will not minimize our struggle or discount our feelings. We
need people who will not be shocked when we are full of rage at God. We
need friends who are able to hear the deep pain behind our words and who
know that this, too, is part of our healing. We need people who can see
beyond the immediate pain to the healing that can come.

Even when we forsake the fear of God, we need friends who understand, who
are committed to us for the long haul, and who plead with God on our behalf.

Sometimes I feel agnostic, Lord,
I just don't know anymore.
Sometimes I want nothing to do with you.
Where were you when I needed you the most?
Sometimes I despair, Lord.
Sometimes I can't seem to hope.

I need friends who will not abandon me, Lord.
I need friends who will be patient and grace-full with my anger and fear.
I need friends who will stay with me as we wait for you to show yourself
once again.
I need friends, Lord, who will give me courage to hope again in you.
Send help, Lord.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 12/11/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?
Psalm 13:1-2

Sometimes our spiritual distress is centered on questions about God. Where is God? Why doesn't God help? At other times our spiritual distress is centered on questions about ourselves. What is wrong with me? How come I'm still struggling this much?

Doubts about ourselves can be profoundly troubling. We wonder if our faith will survive the struggle. We wonder if our faith is strong enough. Often we feel like spiritual failures. The kind of spirituality we have been taught does not envision 'good' Christians as people who wrestle with their thoughts and are sad everyday. We think of 'good' Christians as people who trust God and manage to smile in the midst of any circumstances. When we can't manage to do this, we question and criticize ourselves.

But wrestling with our thoughts and experiencing sorrow day after day is often a part of the recovery process. It is not a sign of failure to engage in this hard work. It is a sign of courage. And it is a sign that our faith is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life. People of real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in their heart.

Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
And I am so weary of heart-sorrow.
How long, Lord?
How long does this wrestling and sorrow go on?

Help me, Lord, not to experience this struggle as spiritual failure.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Dec 12, 2007

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How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out
to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look
at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before
me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.Habakkuk 1:2-3,13

Where were you God? Where were you when I needed you? Didn't you see the
violence? The abuse? The injustice? Didn't you care? There are times in
recovery when we are full of questions about God. The pain of past trauma
can be intensified when we begin to struggle with these hard questions about
God.

It is important to acknowledge that these questions about God are not academic
questions. No theoretical explanation of the problem of pain will soothe
our raging, confused hearts. These are urgent, personal questions about
God and about God's involvement in our lives. We want to know that God sees
and cares and intervenes in our lives. We need God. We need God's love. We
need God's help.

It is an important source of encouragement to know that we are not the first
to ask these hard questions. There is clear biblical precedent for asking
difficult questions about God. People of faith have always struggled with
questions like these. We can take comfort and courage from knowing that
the prophets also asked urgent questions similar to our own.

God, I am afraid.
I don't understand.
Violence and abuse happen and you do not stop it.
You seem absent.
You seem uncaring.
I need to know that you see and care.
I am calling to you for help, God.
Please hear me.
Please respond.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Dec 13, 2007

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O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my
body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.Psalm 63:1

When a young child is separated from her parents, she will protest their
absence. She will experience sadness, anxiety, anger and a longing for her
parents to return. These intense emotions are not a sign of her failure
as a child. Her protest is a clear sign of how important her parents are
to her, of how much she misses them, of how much she loves them. At certain
developmental stages, it is a sign of emotional health for a child to protest
separation. At certain ages a healthy child will protest, will be angry,
will be afraid, and will long for the parents return.

If one or both of our parents was in some way absent from our lives during
our formative years, it will be easy for us to imagine that God will leave
us as well. We may experience silence and distance. And we may find ourselves
longing for God.

Just as it is good for a child to protest the absence of a parent, it is
good for us to protest when we subjectively experience God's absence. It
is good to give voice to our longing for God. It is good to write or pray
or talk about our deep need for God's presence and love. We can call out
to God. We can protest God's absence.

O God, do not be silent.
Do not be distant.
I miss you when you seem so far away.
I long for you to be close.
I long to know that you care about me.
I long for you, God.
Nothing can replace you.
No one can be God but you.
Do not be silent.
Do not be distant.
Come. Speak.
I need you. Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Dec 14, 2007

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Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the
child she has born? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I
have engraved you on the palms of my hands.Isaiah 49:15-16

We may experience abandonment from a spouse who turns away from us to their
addiction of choice. We may experience feeling like we have been rejected
by friends. We may struggle with memories of parents who were not compassionate
with us. Or memories of parents who 'forgot' us in one way or another.

And so we say to God: "You will abandon and reject and forget me
like all the others!"

Sometimes these experiences are so familiar that we expect them from anyone
we want to be close to, including God. It is a terrible fear to live with.
It creates deep distress.

God responds to our distress with words of reassurance. We are not always
able to take in reassurance that is offered to us. But there are times when
it can feel like a drink of cool water to our parched throats.

God says "I am not like all the rest. I will not forget you. Even if
your parents forgot you, or your spouse turns away, or your friends leave,
I will not forget you. I have tattooed you on the palms of my hand".

I will not forget you.

It may not be easy for us to comprehend, but it is very clear. God says;
"I will not forget you."

I need reassurance, Lord.
I want to believe
that you will remember.
But I have been forgotten before.
I know you are not like that.
I know it in my head.
But my heart forgets so easily.
Reassure me, today, Lord
of your unfailing love.

Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Dec 15, 2007

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Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely
as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.Hosea 6:3

There are days when we feel God's presence. We sense God's love. We see God's
power. But we do not always feel or sense or see. There are times of silence,
distance and uncertainty. There are the difficult times of waiting for God to appear. In times like this we may find ourselves both longing for God and fearing that God will come.

The longing comes because in our heart of hearts we know that there is no
recovery without God's gracious presence. If God does not appear, we are stuck,
bound, hopelessly entangled in dysfunction. If God does appear, it will
be like the sun rising - we will be able to see the way. It will be like
gentle rains which nurture us so that we can grow and thrive.

The fear comes because often we do not see God as one who comes as 'sun'
and 'rain' to give life. We are afraid that when God does appear, it will
be to punish us, to demand restitution from us, to shame us. Because we
have served vengeful and vindictive gods, we fear that it will be the god-of-impossible-expectations who will finally appear.

We do well to follow the urging of this text to 'acknowledge God'. We need
daily to examine whom we serve. When we acknowledge the god-of -impossible-expectations, then we will surely fear his appearing. But if we acknowledge the God of
the Bible whose coming is to nurture and give life, then we will await God's
coming like the dawn of a new day.

I acknowledge you, Lord.
You are not the god of impossible-expectations.
You are not the god-who-is-eager-to-punish.
I know what it is like when these other gods come.
They bring shame, blame and fear.
I do not acknowledge them, Lord.
I acknowledge you.

Come as the dawn of a new day, Lord.
Bring light into my dark days.
Come as gentle rain, Lord,
Cleanse, renew and nurture.
Come, Lord, as the dawn.
Come as the rains.
Water the parched earth of my soul.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Dec 16, 2007

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I
will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right
hand.Isaiah 41:10

Many of us struggle with fear. It is a very uncomfortable emotion. We would
be happy to be rid of it. It causes our hearts to race, our focus of attention
to narrow, and terrible possibilities to enter our minds. We wish we could
banish fear from our hearts by sheer will power. We wish we could simply
stop feeling afraid. Unfortunately fear is not dismissed so easily.

There is something about texts such as this one that leave us very uncomfortable.
The words "do not fear" seem like a simple command. God says "do
not fear". It looks like a simple imperative. Our job is simply to
obey. But, we cannot seem to obey. No matter how hard we try not to be afraid,
we cannot seem to make our fears go away.

The key to understanding texts of this kind is to see that when God says
'do not fear', it is not a simple imperative from an authority figure. The
words "do not fear" are spoken as words of comfort. And they are followed
by a specific promise of God's presence with us.

A loving parent speaks to a child who awakens from a nightmare with words
such as, "Don't be afraid. I'm here with you. You are safe." This
is not a rejection of the child's fears. It is not an instruction to do
the impossible. It is, rather, a promise of protection. If a parent says
only "Don't be afraid," then the child learns that the parent
doesn't understand and the child feels unprotected. But if the parent says
"Don't be afraid, I'm here with you," the child's needs are validated
and the child is comforted by the parent's protection.

God comforts us in the way a loving parent comforts a frightened child.
God says to us, "I know that you are afraid; but I also want you to
know that I am here with you. I will not leave you. I will give you strength.
I will give you help. I will hold you by the hand so that you will not fall".

You know, God,
how often I am afraid.
And you know the soil in which these fears have grown.
And you know how I have struggled to be free from fear.
Help me to draw courage today from your presence.
Be with me.
Give me strength.
Help me.
Uphold me with your hand.
Still my fears, God of all Comfort.
Still my fears with your powerful love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Dec 17, 2007

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And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:7

Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking.

And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds.

Both our hearts and our minds need protection.

When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we
allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we
will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of
protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds.



Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'.
It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. God can be
trusted to guard us because God cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see
most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. God
can be trusted to guard us because God knows from personal experience the
dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. God
can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because God has the resources
to do what needs to be done.

The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize
or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This
peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the
gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security
that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten,
that God is with us, that we are loved.

Guard my breaking heart today, Lord.
Guard my troubled mind.
Let your peace do its work in me, Lord.
because I am in danger and I need your protection.
Guard me with your peace today.
Guard my heart and mind.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Dec 18, 2007

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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear
no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4

Sometimes the recovery journey takes us through the valley of the shadow
of death. It is a frightening valley.

What a difference it makes in times like this to hear God's promise to be
with us. It's not that the fears vanish, they don't always. But we experience
them differently when we are not alone. When we are alone our fears can
become the focus of our thoughts and feelings - they can consume all of
our emotional resources. But when our journey is a shared one, fear does
not have the same power over us.

God has made a very specific promise to us when we are going through the
most difficult of life's struggles. God has promised to be with us. It is hard to say how God's presence will be made known. Our subjective experience
of God's presence may vary widely. Sometimes when we least expect it, we may
hear the still, small voice of God saying "I am here". Sometimes
God will use a friend, a sponsor, a counselor, or someone in a support group
to speak to us in ways that help us to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes
God will give us a peace that needs no words.

The important reality is that God is with us. God does not come and go in
the way our experience of God's presence comes and goes. God does not forsake
us. God walks with us. Even through deep valleys.

God, I am walking through a difficult valley right now.
Sometimes I think my heart will give way with fear.
Remind me of your presence.
Sometimes I know you are here.
Sometimes I'm sure you have gone.
Are you really here?
Please walk close beside me.
I need your protection.
I need your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Dec 19, 2007

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If I go to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you
are there.Psalm 139:8

Sometimes life is hell. That's how it feels. It feels like we have taken
up residence in hell. Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us. Sometimes we
hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again.
Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted,
a place from which God has turned away.

But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'.
There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey. There are no
places unfamiliar to God. It is a difficult and painful journey, but our
lines of support are not stretched thin. God is not at a distance. God is
with us.

If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those
times in hell. If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional
and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.

No matter where I am, Lord
you are with me.
If I am up, today.
You are here.
If I am down.
You are here.
If I am very, very down.
You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down.
You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope
in the dark times of my recovery.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Dec 20, 2007

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In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what
we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us with groans that
words cannot express. Romans 8:26

When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability
to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more
that our weary hearts can muster - those are the times we need God's Spirit
most of all.

It is life itself to know that God pays attention to us. The Spirit of the
Living God is with us and is attentive to our weakness. God does not shame
us for our weakness. Our weakness is not a bad thing to God. Our weakness
is simply a reality. The Spirit's response to our weakness is to help us.
God is on our side. The Spirit knows us and loves us. God knows the pain that
crushes us. God helps us in our weakness.

In those moments when we have been silenced by life, the Spirit prays for
us. The Spirit prays with groans for which there is no language. When we are not
able to pray we can find comfort and hope in the promise that the Spirit
is praying for us.

Oh God
I need to be reminded when I feel so absolutely alone
that you know my pain,
you know my weakness.

When I come to the end of words,
when my mind is full of confusion,
help me to remember that you pray for me.

When I am overwhelmed with despair,
when I want to give up,
when I want to run away in fear,
it is only your presence,
gentle, powerful Friend,
that gives me hope and strength.

I need your help today.
I need you to pray for me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 12/21/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
Isaiah 43:2

There are times in the recovery process when it feels like we will drown in sorrow. The losses, the betrayals, the failures threaten to overwhelm us. The intensity of the emotional pain frightens us in times like this. We feel ourselves loosing ground as life swirls around us.

This text states with great clarity two central truths which are critical to our survival in times like this. First, God has made a very specific promise to us. God says "I will be with you." This may not always be what we want. We may want God to take the floods of life away. We may want God to build dams upstream in life so that the danger of flood is diminished. But, God's promise is clear. I will be with you.

Secondly, this text says very clearly "When you pass through the waters, they will not sweep over you." God will protect us and see us through. There are times in recovery when there just doesn't seem to be any way to make it. Nothing is more painful in these times than to have someone who stands at a distance express optimism about our recovery in a way that minimizes the struggle. ["Oh, you're going to be fine. Stop worrying about it."] Conversely, nothing is more valuable in these times than to have someone with us who sees the danger clearly but who is able to be hopeful for us and protect us and see us through

For your promise to be with me in the floods of life, God,
I give you thanks.
Help me to sense your presence.
For your hopefulness about my recovery,
I give you thanks.
Help me to share in your hope.
You are Life-Preserver to me, God.
Thank you.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 12/22/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16

God leads blind people along unfamiliar paths. God promises to make rough places smooth for sightless and disoriented people. God will not forsake them.

During recovery we often feel sightless and disoriented. Our abilities to see clearly are often very limited - we don't have enough distance on things to give proper perspective. Denial leaves us blind. Rejected emotions and ignored human needs can also contribute to spiritual and psychological blindness.

So many things in recovery are unfamiliar to us. We are not accustomed to feeling what we feel, to talking about our experiences, or to trusting other people. Honesty is new territory for us. All of this is not only unfamiliar territory, it is scary territory as well.

But it is exactly to people like us that God makes promises. God makes promises to sightless and disoriented people. God will guide. God will give light. God will smooth the rough places. God will not abandon.

I can't see very well, Lord.
I certainly am not familiar with this path, Lord.
Are you sure you know where this leads?
This feels like a pretty rough trail to me, Lord.
Are you sure we can make it?

Be my guide, Lord, I am afraid.
I would be lost without you.
I cannot find my way alone.
Guide me, Lord.
Turn darkness into light.
Make the rough places smooth.
Do not forsake me.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Dec 23, 2007

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"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: 'Father, I
have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be
called your son'. . . But while he was still a long way off, his father
saw him and was filled with compassion for him."Luke 15:18-20

It is difficult to think and feel about ourselves in Godly ways. Many of
us think that the prodigal son got it right. He had a well-practiced speech:
"I am no longer worthy". How like our speeches to ourselves! If
you hear about your unworthiness often enough, especially in childhood,
and if you internalize the speech thoroughly, it becomes a part of you.
Many of us know this particular speech so well that we can feel unworthy
for no particular reason. We do not feel unworthy because of something we
have done or said. We feel unworthy because of who we are. Many of us even
think that the more unworthy we feel, the more likely the Father will be
to welcome us back home!

But the Father responds quite differently from the prodigal's expectations.
The Father was 'filled with compassion' and he ran to his son and he kissed
him. When the prodigal finally got his speech out, the Father did not spend
time arguing the point. Instead he 'honored' the son with a robe, a ring
and a feast. He treated the prodigal in ways designed to build a very different
kind of self understanding.

Our goal is to learn to think and feel about ourselves in ways that are
consistent with the way God thinks and feels about us. God's perspective
is a surprising contrast to our own. God does not join our internal chorus
which is so persistent at proclaiming our unworthiness. Instead God says
"You are my child. You are loved!"

Lord, I have not learned to think and feel about myself in healthy ways.
Teach me to think and feel about myself
in ways that are consistent with the way you think and feel about me!
Help me to listen when you say "I love you".
Help me to take it in.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 12/24/2007

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
Psalm 3:2-3

We receive messages about ourselves from the important people in our lives. We internalize these messages and carry them with us, repeating them to ourselves as if they were gospel truth. When the messages are shaming messages then the internal chorus chants "You are not lovable. You are beyond repair. Even God cannot help you."

This chorus is a chorus of lies. The psalmist rejects these lies. And we need to begin to reject these lies as well.

The Lord is a "shield around me", the psalmist says. A shield protects. It comes between the blows of an enemy and a person's vulnerable places. Most shields are small and can only protect a limited area from attack. But the shield which the Lord provides completely surrounds us. We can let this shield protect us from these attacking messages.

The psalmist also says that the Lord "bestows glory on me and lifts up my head". Heavy burdens of shame, neglect and abuse have bowed our heads. The Lord listens, pays attention and cares about us. God's love counters the voices of our internal shame-chorus so that we can lift our heads. God replaces our shame with glory. It is a picture of a ragged, neglected child whose head is bowed and shoulders are bent. A king sees the child and goes to him. The king gently lifts the child's chin until his eyes meet his own smiling eyes. He asks the child to come home and live as royalty with him. The child is loved, honored, protected. You are the child. God lifts your head and bestows glory.

God help me to stop listening to lies about you.
Help me to stop listening to lies about me.
Be a shield around me.
Bestow glory.
Lift up my head.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Dec 25, 2007

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I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well.Psalm 139:14

We are God's creation. God made us. And what God makes is wonderful.

This may sound pretty obvious, but we probably need to remind ourselves
that it is not everything-and-everybody-except-me that is wonderfully made.
It is everything-and-everybody-including-me that is fearfully and wonderfully
made by God.

When we have learned to see ourselves as people without value, when we have
internalized contempt as the basis for our personal identity, it is difficult
to see ourselves as one of God's wonderful works.

But you are one of God's wonderful works. You are precious to God. You are
a unique, irreplaceable expression of God's creative love.

It is good to praise God for making us. It is good to see ourselves as a
reason for thanksgiving and awe. God made our minds, our emotions, our needs,
our bodies, our creativity, our longings, our hopes. God is a marvelous creator
who made us wonderfully.

You are one of God's wonderful works. You can praise God that he made you
wonderfully.

Thank you,
Creator God,
that you made me.
and that all that you make is wonderful
including me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Dec 26, 2007

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Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable
then they?Matthew 6:26

Many of us learn early in life that we need to earn our sense of value.
For some, value was earned by entertaining people with our clowning acts.
For others, value came from taking care of everyone else. And for others,
value was derived from achieving success of some kind. But often there is
no way to entertain enough, take care enough or achieve enough to meet our
needs for approval. No matter how compulsively we entertain, or care or
work, we still are not able to feel valued. These substitutes do not meet
the deepest longings of our heart. In addition we run the risk of becoming
compulsively attached to these substitutes because we fear that the sense
of value which they offer is our only hope of finding peace.

The longing to experience ourselves as valued is a fundamental human need.
The need is really a need to be heard, seen, enjoyed and loved by others
for who we are rather than for what we do. No amount of earned approval
can meet this need. We long to know that we have value simply because we
exist. This kind of value cannot be earned, it must be received as a gift.


Jesus says to us "you are valuable. Simply because you are, you are
valuable". The birds of the air are God's creatures. God sees them and
cares for them. God made them and God enjoys them. They are valuable. You,
too, are God's creation, made and known by God. God sees you and cares for
you. You are of great value.

As we grow in our awareness that our true value is a gift already given
to us by God, we can begin to let go of the tight hold we have on our substitute
strategies for achieving worth.

Father, you know how attached
I have become to earning my sense of value.
But, I can never seem to work hard enough.
Thank you, Creator God,
for valuing the birds of the air.
Thank you, Creator God,
for valuing me.
Help me to receive this good gift from you.
Help me to see myself as valuable in your eyes.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Dec 27, 2007

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Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.Isaiah 43:1

Abandoned. Neglected. Alone.

Many of us share these painful struggles. Unfortunately, many of us have struggled with them from very early in life. People from dysfunctional families often feel that they were never acceptable to their parents. Many struggle with the feeling that they can never be good enough to receive attention. If reinforced by rejection or abandonment from friends, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, we can easily conclude that we don't really 'belong' at all.

Humans have a deep longing to belong, to be emotionally bonded with others. Social isolation can be very painful to us. But social isolation may have felt like the only option open to us as children. Attempts at closeness may have meant experiencing control, abuse, rejection or loss. We may have pulled away to protect ourselves, even though it left us lonely and afraid.

God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

It may frighten us - this invitation to belong to God - even though we long for it. It may frighten us because we expect pain and disappointment, over-control and rejection. But gradually, as we continue the healing process, we can allow God to meet this deep need. We can allow ourselves to belong more and more to God.

Help me, God, to allow myself to belong to you. Thank you for calling me by name. Thank you for saying 'you are mine'. I want to belong to you, God. Help me to heal, Great Physician, So that I can accept my place in your family. Take away my fear, Father, give me the courage to belong to you. Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Dec 28, 2007

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For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do.Ephesians 2:10

God is a very capable craftsman. God's workmanship is of the highest quality.
We are God's workmanship. We are the art of a competent Creator.

Notice in this text that our creation 'in Christ Jesus' means that we are
competent as well. We are like our Creator in that we have been created
'to do good works'. God who is capable of good works made us to be capable
of doing good works as well.

This is quite a contrast to 'you can't do anything right'. In dysfunctional
families and institutions people learn to doubt their competence. This doubt
leads many people to work harder and harder to demonstrate their abilities.
In dysfunctional systems, however, no matter how hard we try, we can't try
hard enough. We learn that our problem is not that we are human and occasionally
make mistakes but that we are incompetent people. We learn that we are flawed
in a most basic way. No matter how compulsively we try, we can't ever get
it right.

This text is an affirmation of our competence, of our importance in God's
plans. God affirms us by saying "there are good things for you to do,
and I believe you can do them". Notice that the text does not say that
we need to do good works to earn God's love or to win God's approval or that
we have to do the work perfectly or compulsively. What is does say is that
God sees each of us as capable of good works. God invites
us to participate in the creative, redemptive work that God is doing in the world. God sees
us as capable.

You are competent, God.
Your works are good works.
It amazes me that you see me as competent.
Thank you for believing in me.
Help me to trust your words of affirmation.
Help me to find joy in doing good.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Dec 29, 2007

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This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our
hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is
greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.I John 3:19-20

Sometimes it is difficult to believe that we 'belong to the truth'. Sometimes
it is difficult to imagine having our 'hearts at rest'. The part of our
heart that is damaged by shame reminds us of all our inadequacies and failures.
As this text puts it, our hearts condemn us.

In the process of recovery many of us become aware that we have internalized
a voice of shame and self-condemnation. We may tell ourselves that we are
unlovable. "How could anyone care about me?" Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are worthless. "I'm no good." Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are not capable. "I can't do anything right." These are
some of the ways we condemn ourselves. We also may question our faith. We
may wonder, as this verse puts it, whether "we belong to the truth".
Because of our early experiences of rejection and our current self-condemnation,
we find ourselves expecting God to condemn us. As a result we cannot rest
in God's presence.

But God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything.
God knows our history. God knows the wounds in our past. God knows our humanness.
God knows our strengths and weaknesses. God knows our failures. God knows we
condemn ourselves and expect that God will condemn us as well. God knows that we need healing.


God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. And
God does not condemn us.

I long to set my heart at rest, Lord.
I long to rest in your presence.
But, my heart is full of self-condemnation.
The voices of shame are loud within me.

I am afraid that you will also condemn me, Lord.
I am afraid that you will agree with the shame voices.

Speak to me today, Lord.
Speak more loudly than the voices of shame.
Be greater than my heart.
Shame can only feed on the hidden things, Lord,
but nothing is hid from you.
Be more powerful than the shame, Lord.
Let me find rest today in your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Dec 30, 2007

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As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 103:13-14


We are not very understanding or tolerant of our limitations. We forget how we are 'formed'. Instead of accepting our creatureliness as a good gift from God, we often find ourselves being harshly judgmental and unforgiving of ourselves. This lack of compassion can lead to self-abusive and self-neglectful behaviors. When we forget how we are formed, we can forget to take care of such creaturely basics as sleep, decent food and relaxation.


Fortunately, God does not forget how we are formed. God remembers. God knows we have limitations. God remembers that we are 'dust'. Because we are so intolerant of our limits, it is important to emphasize that the metaphor 'dust' in this text does not imply worthless. It is not that God remembers how worthless we are - just dust to be sweep up and thrown away . Quite to the contrary, God remembers our weakness and limitations and has compassion on us. Again, because we are so intolerant of our limits, it is also probably important to emphasize that 'compassion' is not 'pity'. God does not pity us poor, pathetic, helpless mortals. Quite to the contrary, God's compassion is the tender, loving care of a good parent towards a child.


God knows and respects our limitations. They are not a surprise to God. God is our Creator. God remembers what we tend to forget. God remembers that we are creatures.


Thank you, Lord, for remembering what I forget.

You remember that I am human,

that I need to sleep,

that I need to play,

that I have limited strength and ability.

Thank you for having reasonable expectations of me.

Thank you for understanding my limits.

Help me to be compassionate with my humanness

Even as you, Lord,

are compassionate toward me.

Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Dec 31, 2007

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"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.
"Bring them here to me," he said.

Matthew 14:17-18

Sometimes after reading the newspaper or watching the news on television
we experience an intensely painful awareness of the enormity of the world's
problems and the hopeless inadequacy of the resources available to solve
these problems. During recovery we often experience these same feelings
of helplessness and inadequacy. Our personal problems seem enormous. Our
resources seem incredibly limited. Part of our denial comes from our desire
to avoid recognizing that our personal problems are bigger than our personal
resources. We will need resources more extensive than our own to make any
progress in recovery.


Fortunately, God has a long and consistent history of working with people
who have limited resources. It has been God's consistent pattern throughout
the biblical record. God's preference is to bring strength out of weakness.
The abundance which God brings from a few loaves and fishes is a clear sign
of the surprising resource-full-ness of God. God does not seem to be at home
among the well-nourished, the resourced, the un-needy. In a reversal of
all of our expectations, God comes to the needy and limited with invitations
to participate in the Kingdom.


When we see how few loaves and fishes we have, we become convinced that
our needs for nourishment will not be met. And we conclude that there will
be nothing left over to share. But the hopelessly limited resources somehow
turn into abundance when offered to God. There is enough for us and enough
to share. Each day, one day at a time, God accepts our limited resources
and surprises us with what can be done.


I am hungry, Lord.
I have not been getting the nourishment I need.
What I have is so limited.
A few loaves.
A few fish.
There will not be enough to go around.


I cannot imagine what use they will be
but I make my limited resources available to you.
Accept my limited resources, Lord.
I bring them to you for your blessing.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Jan 1, 2008

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Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' Luke 15:4-5

It is easy for us to lose our way. We may start off with confidence. We think we know where we are and where we are headed. And, then, somewhere along the way in life we get lost. We find ourselves alone and we don't know where we are. We get confused and disoriented. We don't know how to find our way back, how to get 'on track' again.

Fortunately, God pays attention. God notices that we are lost. And, because of the great value God sees in us, God sets out to find us. God searches for us. God pursues us until we are found.

When God finds us, most of us expect God to say: 'Where have you been? I have been looking all over for you! Can't you follow directions? What's wrong with you? I don't want to have to come back out here again to find you. Try to pay attention from now on!'

But there is no hint of scolding, shaming, yelling or blaming in this text. When God finds us, God is full of joy. God picks us up and carries us home. God celebrates.

God pays attention. God notices when we are lost. God searches for us. And God celebrates when we are found. Recovery is the gift of being found by God.

I was lost, Lord.
Alone..
Disoriented. Confused. Afraid.
You found me.
I expected blame and rejection when you found me.
I expected you to be full of rage.
I expected you to see me as an inconvenience.
But you greeted me with joy.
With celebration!
Thank you for finding me.
Amen.
1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Jan 2, 2008

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Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' Luke 15:4-5

It is easy for us to lose our way. We may start off with confidence. We think we know where we are and where we are headed. And, then, somewhere along the way in life we get lost. We find ourselves alone and we don't know where we are. We get confused and disoriented. We don't know how to find our way back, how to get 'on track' again.

Fortunately, God pays attention. God notices that we are lost. And, because of the great value God sees in us, God sets out to find us. God searches for us. God pursues us until we are found.

When God finds us, most of us expect God to say: 'Where have you been? I have been looking all over for you! Can't you follow directions? What's wrong with you? I don't want to have to come back out here again to find you. Try to pay attention from now on!'

But there is no hint of scolding, shaming, yelling or blaming in this text. When God finds us, God is full of joy. God picks us up and carries us home. God celebrates.

God pays attention. God notices when we are lost. God searches for us. And God celebrates when we are found. Recovery is the gift of being found by God.

I was lost, Lord.
Alone..
Disoriented. Confused. Afraid.
You found me.
I expected blame and rejection when you found me.
I expected you to be full of rage.
I expected you to see me as an inconvenience.
But you greeted me with joy.
With celebration!
Thank you for finding me.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Jan 3, 2008

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I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power . . .to grasp . . . the love of Christ.Ephesians 3:17

We all have root systems. Roots are life-lines. They seek out and drink in water and nutrients. And they provide stability in times of wind and erosion.

Unfortunately, many of us are rooted in the soil of shame. Roots in this rocky soil become bound. They cannot sustain growth. They are not able to provide nourishment or stability.

Recovery for many of us is like being transplanted. It is the process of allowing God to first pull us out of the parched and rocky soil of shame and to then plant us in the soil of love. In the rich soil of love our fragile roots can finally begin to stretch, grow and take hold. It is a soil in which real nourishment and real stability are possible.

But transplantation is not a simple matter. No matter how gently God pulls us up out of the soil of shame, there will be trauma. And sinking roots in new soil will feel like an unfamiliar and risky adventure.

As our roots sink deeper and deeper in the soil of God's love, however, we will begin to experience growth that never could have been possible in the soil of rejection and shame. We will become 'rooted and established' in love.

My roots are in poor soil, Lord.
They do not nourish.
They provide no stability.
My roots are bound, Lord.
Transplant me.
Give me grace-full soil, Lord.
Sink my roots deeply.
Give me stability.
Nourish me.
In your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Jan 4, 2008

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I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:1-2

A weaned child in the psalmist's culture is a child who can walk and talk. It is a child who for many months has been nourished day and night at it's mother's breast. Every time the pain of hunger came, the child enjoyed the powerful combination of having its stomach filled with warm milk while being held in a close, intimate embrace. Messages of love and valuing flowed into the child's spirit while the life-sustaining milk flowed into its body.

Love and nourishment are the soil in which security grows. A weaned child still needs to eat. But, it is not frantic about its next meal. It has learned that it's needs are important, that they will be noticed and that they can be met. Because of the love and nourishment it has received, a weaned child has grown secure.

Recovery is like being loved and nourished until we can be weaned. We don't grow out of having needs - our goal is not mere self reliance. Rather our goal is to experience love and nourishment. As we do so, we gradually become less frantic about our next meal. We grow. We heal. Eventually a new kind of security grows in us - not the security of toxic self-reliance, but the security that comes from nurture. We become less frantic, less fragile. Our souls become stilled and quieted.

Nourish me, Lord.
Nourish me with your love.
Calm the frantic feelings within me.
Grow a sense of security within me.
I want to be able to sit quietly.
Like a weaned child.
Nourished.
Secure in your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Jan 5, 2008

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Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:14-16

"Why can't you grow up?!" Parents sometimes express their anger and impatience with their children in this way. But, it is not a shameful thing to be a child. To acknowledge our child-like-ness is to acknowledge our limits and our dependency. It is to make room for wonder, trust and joy in our lives. If that is what it means to be a child, then we need more of it.

But there is also a sense, as in this text, in which to be child-like is to be immature or unstable. It is a good thing to grow-up. Not because it is shameful to be a child, but because growth is part of God's plan for us. Being "tossed back and forth" is an exhausting way to live. We need to find some way to live without being "blown here and there".

Growing up is hard work. The reason for this, as this text suggests, is that growing up is closely connected with learning to speak the truth. Honesty is a central dynamic of growth and recovery. Increasing our capacity for honesty is not an easy process. But, as we speak the truth in love, we will experience some dramatic changes in our relationships. We will find a more intimate relationship with God - we will 'grow up into Christ'. And we will also find ourselves 'joined and held together' in a community of faith.

Help me to be a child, Lord,
Help me to face my dependencies and my limits.
But, help me to grow up as well.
I'm tired of being tossed back and forth.
I want more stability than being blown here and there.
I want to have stable, healthy relationships
with you, and with others.
So, build within me a capacity for honesty.
Help me to speak the truth in love
so that I can grow up.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Jan 6, 2008

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Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect,
but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of
me. Philippians 3:12


Some days the desire to be 'finished' with recovery is almost overwhelming.
It is such an attractive thought. To be 'done'. It sounds so good. Done.
Finally. Please, Lord, I want to be done today.


But, we have learned something about our capacity for self-deceit. We have
learned that we are not entirely in control of the process of recovery.
And, we have learned something about the dangers of complacency. It can
lead us back into denial, and toward relapse. There is no more dangerous
moment for us than the moment we become convinced that we are all better.



Recovery is 'pressing on'. We have not 'already obtained.' We have not 'already
been made perfect.' Tomorrow's recovery cannot be done in advance. And yesterday's
recovery, although it has changed and enriched us, is not the same thing
as today's recovery. Today's recovery can only be done today.


The process of recovery restructures our lives in some very fundamental
ways. We had learned silence, and in recovery we learn to speak the truth.
We had learned not to feel, and in recovery we learn to feel. We had learned
either not to need other people at all or to be excessively dependent on
other people, and in recovery we learn to need other people in appropriate
ways. These are significant changes. But, they are not irreversible changes.
We can go back to silence, emotional numbness and unhealthy relationships.
Recovery is necessarily therefore a new way of life. It is a daily pressing
on. It is the day-at-a-time practice of the disciplines of recovery that
makes it possible for us to continue to heal, grow and change.


Lord, you have brought me so far.
Thank you. I am grateful for all I have gained.
But, I want to press on.
I want to continue to grow.
I want to continue to learn.
Help me to press on.
Help me to do today's recovery today.
Help me to press on toward you.
Take hold of me with your love.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

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NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Jan 7, 2008

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Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their
distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke
away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and
cuts through bars of iron. Psalm 107:13-16


Addictions and compulsions are a kind of bondage. Painful memories are also
like chains that bind us. We try harder and harder to change. But sometimes
the harder we try, the tighter the chains become. Recovery begins when we
recognize that our bondage is too great for us. We are not powerful enough to break these chains. Either we will find a power greater than ourselves
to help us, or we will stay in bondage.


Many people find the idea of powerlessness to be very troubling. We want
to be competent and self-reliant. And, many of us have had people attempt
to 'rescue' us in ways that have increased our shame and self-contempt.
So, why should we welcome the God-who-rescues? Won't he also shame us?


First, notice in this text that God's intervention is in response to a request.
We do not serve a codependent God. God is not entangled in our compulsions.
God will not rescue in ways that are shame-full. God knows that we need to
be ready to be helped and that we need to cry out for help.


Notice also in this text that it is the God-of-unfailing-love who is our
higher power. Because so many of us are convinced that God is vindictive,
punitive and abusive, it can be terrifying in our powerlessness to focus
on the power of God. We are sure that all of that power will be used against
us. But the God-of-unfailing-love is not a vindictive, punitive or abusive
God. God is a God-of-tough-love. That's the only kind of love that can be
'unfailing.' But God is not 'against' us. God is 'for' us.


Recovery is being set free by God's powerful love.


I was powerless, Lord.
I expected you to increase my shame and self-contempt.
But you are a God of unfailing love.
I expected you to use your power against me.
But when I called, you came.
You crashed the gates.
You cut the bars.
You broke the chains.
You are leading me out of this darkness and deepest gloom
into the light of day.
Thank you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008

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The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in
the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2


We know what it is like to walk in darkness. We know what it is like to
live in the shadow of death. But we also are beginning to experience what
it is like to see. The darkness of denial is giving way to the light of
honesty in our lives.


Of course, when you have lived in darkness as long as we have, the light
can be painfully bright. We see the truth about ourselves and our self destructive
behavior. We see the truth about our refusal of love. We see the truth of
our brokenness. We see old pain. We see current behaviors that damage ourselves
and others. The light dawns. It is not a pretty sight.


But God does not send light into our darkness to shame us. The exposure
may trigger our deep shame, but this is not God's purpose. God's light is
like the light of dawn. It is a light that signals that something new is
happening. A new beginning is possible. The light that God brings into our
dark world is a light of hope.


Recovery is God's light coming into our darkness. The light exposes. We
begin to see clearly the ways we have sinned and the ways other people have
sinned against us. And the light provides hope. In the light we see the
possibility for new beginnings.


Lord, your light hurts my eyes.
It is too bright.
I see too clearly now.
It is too painful for me.
Help me to believe that your light is not to bring shame
but to bring hope into my dark world.
Light of Heaven, embrace me with your warmth.
Heal me with your bright rays.
Give me life.
And hope.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008

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Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me. Rev. 3:20

Some people enter without knocking. It happens. Our boundaries have not always been respected. As a result, we have built some significant defenses. Our doors have multiple locks. When needed, they can be latched, barred, bolted, double bolted and sealed securely.

As we begin the healing process, however, we begin to experiment with allowing our defenses to come down. We unlatch one lock at a time.

Nothing is more helpful in this process than having people who respect our boundaries - people who will knock and wait patiently for an answer. So, this picture of Jesus is full of good news for us. Jesus stands at the door and knocks. It is pure invitation. God does not invade. God does not demand. God does not manipulate. God gently, persistently knocks. God says 'here I am, I would like to spend time with you'.

Recovery is a process of learning to trust God. Trust grows slowly. We can't do that all at once. But perhaps today we can listen carefully for a knock. Tomorrow we may be able to manage a "who is there?". And, with persistence, we will some day sit at table with God and enjoy God's loving presence.

Lord, thank you for knocking.
Thank you for respecting my boundaries.
And, thank you for knocking persistently.
It takes me a while to respond
because my doors have so many latches.
Give me courage this day
to open the doors of my life to you.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Jan 10, 2008

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Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in
the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:1


Most of us have spent a lot of money and a lot of effort on things that
do not satisfy. When our efforts do not result in serenity, we become more
and more confused and more and more frantic. Into the middle of this chaos
and desperation comes an invitation. God invites us to receive 'food' which is designed to delight our souls.


God's invitation is to people who are thirsty or hungry. It is to people
who are working hard but finding little satisfaction. The invitation extends
to those who have no money or assets of any kind. God is not sparing or stingy. God is an extravagant giver of good things. God wants us to delight in the richest of fare.


The nourishment at God's feast does more than please our taste-buds. This
meal is more than mere esthetic pleasure. The nourishment from God's table
feeds our souls with delight. It is nourishment that sinks down to the deepest
places of our being. God seeds delight in the foundations of our soul. And
from these seeds come serenity, peace and the courage to continue.


God, I'm thirsty.
I have spent my money and energy
on things that have not satisfied.
God, my soul is hungry.
I need food for my soul.

Help me to come to you, Lord.
You know my hesitation.
You know how suspicious I am
of such an extravagant invitation.
Help me to come as an eager child
to receive good things from you.
Feed my soul, Lord,
until it is full of delight.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Jan 11, 2008

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Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like
scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18

There are three common but unhelpful ways of dealing with our failures and
sins. First, there is denial. We tell ourselves that everybody has problems,
so it doesn't really matter. Nothing of any value comes from this effort
to cover-up. A second unhelpful strategy is to blame others for what has
happened. This can range from different versions of 'the-devil-made-me-do-it'
to 'I'm just a product of my environment'. Nothing of any value comes from
this effort to cover-up. Thirdly, instead of turning the emotional energy
outwards in blame we can turn it against ourselves as self-loathing. We
see ourselves as monsters and what we have done as unforgivable. Nothing
of value comes from this effort to atone for our own sins.

God invites us to another path. God invites us to be transformed. God
invites us to stop denying, blaming and catastrophisizing about our lives.
In order to change and grow we need to face the reality of our actions and
attitudes. We need to understand that our sins are like scarlet, like crimson.
They are life-draining. Destructive. But we are forgivable. We are invited
to receive forgiveness. And we are invited to change. The life-draining
behaviors that we have pursued can be changed. Changed from bright red to
snow white. We do not have to let denial, blame and shame lock us into destructive,
hurtful patterns. We can be clean and sober. White as snow. Forgiven.

Lord, free me from denial.
The pretense is choking me to death.
Lord, free me from blame.
It's not working for me anymore.
Lord, free me from self-loathing
The shame is killing me.
Help me to face the truth.
Help me to accept your offer of forgiveness and change.
Make me white as snow.
Make me as clean and pure as new wool.
Amen.

Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Jan 12, 2008

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Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may
receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.Hebrews 4:16

Many of us find it very difficult to feel confident in intimate relationships.
If we learned early in life that the people most important to us were unapproachable,
then confidently approaching others as adults may be difficult. There are
many ways to learn that approaching other people is dangerous. It can come
from abuse, or criticism, or disinterest.

One result of experiences of this kind is that we find it difficult to be
confident when we approach God. This is particularly true when we are feeling
fragile, weak or needy. The last thing we expect is mercy and grace in our
time of need. We expect to be criticized. We expect God to say 'why are
you still so needy?'. We expect to be abandoned. We expect God to say 'I'm
busy now.' We expect to be rejected. We expect God to say 'If only you had
more faith or prayed more or read the Bible more or trusted me more.'
With expectations like this, it is no surprise that we lack confidence when
approaching God.

But God offers us an invitation we long to hear. He invites us to approach. And, God invites us to come with confidence. God will pay attention.
God will hear us. God will be interested in our well-being. God will respond
with mercy, grace and help.

I don't have much confidence, Lord.
I don't trust other people very much .
I don't trust you very much.
I don't expect mercy and grace
from anybody, especially in times when I'm this needy.
I expect criticism, abandonment, and rejection.

Thank you for inviting me to come to you.
Thank you for providing good reasons to have confidence in you.
You are full of mercy and grace.

This is a time of need for me, Lord.
Give me confidence to approach you today.
I need your mercy and grace.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Jan 13, 2008

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Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.Philippians 4:6

We can hang on to our attempts to control ourselves and others and stay
anxious. Or we can let go and let God.

We are anxious because we think we have to take care of everything and everybody.
We are anxious because we believe we cannot be happy unless we can control
the people we love. We are anxious because life's problems are more than
we can handle, but we try to handle them on our own anyway.

God invites us to give up our anxious way of life. We do not have to take
care of everything and everybody. We can, instead, let God take care of
us. We can bring our anxious hearts and our long lists of concerns to God.

Responding to this invitation requires a great deal of us. It requires that
we acknowledge that we cannot do what we have been trying to do. We are
powerless. It requires that we turn to God. It requires that we release our control, our anxiety, our very lives into God's care.

God invites us to serenity. "Give up your anxiety," God says "bring
the concerns of your heart to me."

I am anxious, Lord.
And I feel guilty about feeling anxious.
And I feel anxious about feeling guilty.
And I feel anxious about feeling guilty about feeling anxious.
Help!
I am overwhelmed by all I am trying to do.
I need your invitation to serenity.
I bring you my requests today, Lord.
I bring them to you.
I admit that I do not have the power to solve these problems.
I acknowledge that you are Powerful.
I ask you to take care of me today.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Jan 14, 2008

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The Lord Jesus on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had
given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for
you; do this in remembrance of me. "1 Corinthians 11:24

People in the recovery process are people with painful memories. We remember
our losses. We remember our sins. We remember the sins which have been committed
against us. It is part of the hard work of recovery to face these memories,
to grieve them and to come to terms with them. But sometimes the painful
memories become so powerful that it seems like nothing will be able to compete
with them for our attention. The memory of pain consumes us. In times like
this we need a powerful new memory that can challenge the dominance of our
painful memories.

Jesus invites us to receive a new and startling memory. "Remember me,"
Jesus says, "Eat the bread and drink the wine and remember that I gave
my life for you. I gave my life because I love you. Take this new memory.
Allow it to shape the way you think about yourself and about life and about
me. Allow yourself to remember me."

It is not that the memory of Jesus' sacrificial love erases all of our painful
memories. Painful memories still have to be faced and grieved if healing
is to come. But God offers us in Jesus a memory powerful enough to compete
with the most powerful of painful memories. The death-grip which painful
memories have on our attention can be broken by the powerful memory of God's
love.

Help me to remember you, Lord.
Help me to find a place
in my mind and heart
for the memory of your love for me.
I want the memory of your love, Lord,
to be the most powerful of my memories.
I want it to be
The Memory
that shapes me.
Help me to remember you.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Jan 15, 2008

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If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not
in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us.1 John 1:8-9

Few people will be so overt as to say 'I am without sin'. Self-deceit is
rarely that obvious. It often comes masked in socially acceptable and socially
rewarded forms of behavior.

Perfectionism, for example, is a common expression of self deceit. We try
very hard to look good. Sometimes we work so hard to look perfect, ('without
sin'), that we nearly convince ourselves that it's true. Then, in the moments
when we suddenly remember our human condition, we feel shame and self-contempt.
And this often makes us want to work even harder to cover over reality with
more layers of self deceit.

But self-deceit will never lead to change and growth. Only honesty can bring
change. Recovery begins as we face our failures, our wrong-doing, and our
self-destructive choices.

For people like us, who have tried very, very hard to be very, very good,
facing reality can be painful work. The courage to pursue taking an honest
inventory of our lives is not possible without some source of compassion
and forgiveness that can replace our shame and self contempt. The good news
is that God is compassionate and forgiving. God freely, joyfully, completely
pardons. Because of this hope, we can look honestly at ourselves. Because
we can turn to God and find mercy and pardon, we can make a fearless inventory
of our lives.

Dear God, I have tried hard.
I have tried harder.
I have tried my hardest.
But it has only led to self-deceit.
Help me, God, I need you.
I need your compassion to overpower my self contempt.
I need your forgiveness to overpower my self condemnation.
Rid me of self-deceit, God.
And build in me a capacity for honesty.
Not so that I can be perfect, but so that I can genuinely change.
And, so that I can rejoice in your love for me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Jan 16, 2008

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"So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be
alert and self-controlled" 1 Thessalonians 5:6

The first step toward honesty is to pay attention. In the words of this
text, the choices we face are either to sleep or to be alert and self-controlled.

There are days when we would rather 'sleep'. There are days when the emotional
numbness of denial seems less painful then the alertness required by recovery.
Couldn't we just 'let it ride' for a day? Couldn't we just 'sleep' for a
while?

Sometimes people encourage us to 'sleep'. "Why are you still paying
attention to that? It was a long time ago!" Or "Why are you still
'holding on' to that? Just forgive and get it behind you." Wouldn't
it be great to get this over with quickly and not have to pay attention
to it anymore?

There is a rest, a serenity, that comes from God. But it comes from 'alertness'
not from 'sleep'. God's peace is not like the 'sleep' in this text. This
sleep is denial, it is avoidance, it is distraction, it is
pretending, it is death. Being alert means that we allow ourselves to see
and hear, to use our senses and mind and heart. It means that we pay attention
to what is happening inside of us and around us. The text urges us to be
alert, to pay attention. Pay attention, it urges, even if life is painful,
even if it is not what we want it to be.

Lord, help me to pay attention today!
Help me not to put my feelings to sleep.
I want to be aware of my thoughts and feelings, Lord.
I want to be able to experience both the pain and joy of life today.
Help me to pay attention.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 1/17/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

No more lying then. Everyone must tell the truth to his fellow believers because we are all members together in the body of Christ.
Ephesians 4:25

Honesty is essential to recovery. Honesty is essential to intimacy. But honesty is not easy.

We were not created to be isolated, independent creatures. We were created to be interdependent. We need each other. And in order for us to be helped by others and to be helpful to others, we need to practice honesty. That means we must learn how to talk to each other about our thoughts and our feelings and our needs. We must learn to talk about our struggles and failures, about our dreams and our successes.

Honesty is the soil in which intimate relationships grow. It creates the possibility of being known and loved for who we really are. But it is also full of risks. If we tell the truth about ourselves, people may not listen. They may not want to know. They may not understand. They may judge and reject. They may dislike us. They may give us simple answers to unanswerable questions. They may repeat what we have said to others.

We hesitate to be honest because we have experienced these things in the past. Our feelings may have been minimized. Our thoughts may have been devalued. Our reality may have been denied. But in order to grow healthy relationships, in order to heal and recover, we need to begin to take risks. Learning honesty will be a process for us. It will not come quickly. But as we practice the disciplines of honesty we gradually become more secure in telling the truth.

I am tired of lying, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
But I am afraid of honesty, Lord.
It's not as easy as it sounds.
Help me to pursue honesty today.
Help me to be honest with you.
Help me to be honest with myself.
Help me to build a community of faith
where honesty is the norm.
Build in me a capacity for truth.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Jan 18, 2008

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If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales.
It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas - no wonder my words have been
impetuous.Job 6:1-3

When we have lived for a long time by the 'don't talk' rule, learning to
talk honestly and personally can be a real challenge. Our attempts to move
away from self-deceit toward honest self-disclosure may be quite awkward.
It's not reasonable to expect ourselves to be gifted at telling the truth
when we have practiced deceit for so long. Sometimes our words will seem
startling. We will feel our pain, find our voice, and the words and emotions
will tumble out raw and uncensored. This text calls these 'impetuous' words.
Another translation of this text calls them 'wild words'.

It is not easy to break the silence, to talk about what is real, to tell
the truth about what we see and hear, to share what we think and feel, to
tell our stories. Breaking the silence is like breaking the sound barrier
- sometimes it can be quite loud and it can rattle the walls a little. When
our misery feels like it 'outweighs the sands of the sea,' our emotions
are going to be intense and our words will sometimes be wild.

Wild words are part of the journey and should not surprise us. Intense feelings
sometimes need strong language in order to find true expression.

Lord, I am not accustomed to talking.
I am not gifted at honesty.
I have practiced 'don't talk' for a long time.
And now I need to practice honesty.
Help me to be patient and accepting of my wild words.
Even when the wild words frighten me.
Help me to pursue the truth.
Give me the courage I need.
You, Lord, who created the worlds with a word,
Give me the words I need.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Jan 19, 2008

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Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that
you may be healed.James 5:16

Sometimes honest confession can seem astonishing, impossible, and dangerous.
Because we have learned silence so well, we experience honesty as full of
risk. After all, if we are honest, then other people will know what we think
and feel. We will be exposed. The appearance of strength and competence
we work so hard to cultivate will have to share the stage with our weaknesses,
our failings, our sins.

When we practice honesty as a daily discipline, however, something happens
to us. The promise of this text begins gradually to grow in our lives. We
begin to heal. It is not a dramatic, once-for-all-time, quick-fix kind of
healing. Nor is it a private healing, a healing that happens only 'inside'
our heads or in secret with God.

Honesty leads to healing because people can now express their love for us
in practical ways. Honesty leads to healing because we no longer have to
pay the high tariffs that pretense demands. We heal because the experience
of acceptance counteracts the contempt we so easily heap on ourselves. We
heal because we are no longer alone. We heal because we are known and loved.

Honesty is a discipline with a promise. We will be healed.

Lord, give me the humility and
the courage
to practice confession today.
Heal me as I do the work of honesty.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Jan 20, 2008

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Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.Romans 12:15

We have many reasons, often what seem to be really good reasons, to be 'strong'. But if the bottom line of being 'strong' is to constrict the range of emotions which we allow ourselves to experience, what do we gain? We become people incapable of honestly experiencing the emotional realities of life. In this and many other ways we manage to avoid the clear biblical injunction to mourn with those who mourn. Our instincts are often to cheer other people up, to look on the bright side of things, to remind people of things they already know to be true. This text urges us to do the most basic of things. When it is time to mourn, we can mourn.

We can also rejoice when it is time to rejoice. It might seem like it would be easier to rejoice together. But this is not necessarily true. People in recovery have often experienced so many disappointments and betrayals that we find it difficult to experience good things. When something good happens, we expect that bad things will be waiting right around the corner. Instead of rejoicing, our instincts are to protect ourselves from the possibility of the soon-to-follow danger. We do our best to 'stay calm' so that we won't be disappointed. But again, this text urges us to do the most basic of things. When it is time to rejoice, rejoice.

The full range of life's emotions are to be experienced in community. As we share the most basic elements of life together, as we party together and hold each other in times of pain, we will become a fellowship distinguished by a capacity for honesty.

I rejoice, Lord You do not tell me to calm down. You do not warn me about getting too excited. You encourage me to celebrate. 'Party together', you say. I mourn, Lord. You do not tell me to cheer up. You do not tell me to 'be strong'. You encourage me to experience the pain. 'Weep together' you say. Thank you. Thank you for welcoming the full range of human emotions. Thank you for joy and sorrow. Give me the courage to weep with others. Give me the freedom to rejoice with others. Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Jan 21, 2008

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A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he
forsakes the fear of the Almighty.Job 6:14

At some point during the recovery process we re-examine our most fundamental
beliefs. A long process of sorting, examining and questioning takes place.
And, in that process, our relationship with God is challenged. It is possible
that our relationship with God will deepen and strengthen in the process.
But it is also possible that we will find ourselves pulling away from God.
We may find ourselves angry with God, or afraid of God, or unable to believe
in God at all. This can be a frightening experience. It can feel like the
very foundations of life are being shaken.

In times like this, we need many things. But at the top of the list is our
need for friends who will accept us even if we turn away from God. We need
friends who will not minimize our struggle or discount our feelings. We
need people who will not be shocked when we are full of rage at God. We
need friends who are able to hear the deep pain behind our words and who
know that this, too, is part of our healing. We need people who can see
beyond the immediate pain to the healing that can come.

Even when we forsake the fear of God, we need friends who understand, who
are committed to us for the long haul, and who plead with God on our behalf.

Sometimes I feel agnostic, Lord,
I just don't know anymore.
Sometimes I want nothing to do with you.
Where were you when I needed you the most?
Sometimes I despair, Lord.
Sometimes I can't seem to hope.

I need friends who will not abandon me, Lord.
I need friends who will be patient and grace-full with my anger and fear.
I need friends who will stay with me as we wait for you to show yourself
once again.
I need friends, Lord, who will give me courage to hope again in you.
Send help, Lord.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Jan 22, 2008

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How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my
heart?Psalm 13:1-2

Sometimes our spiritual distress is centered on questions about God. Where
is God? Why doesn't God help? At other times our spiritual distress is centered
on questions about ourselves. What is wrong with me? How come I'm still
struggling this much?

Doubts about ourselves can be profoundly troubling. We wonder if our faith
will survive the struggle. We wonder if our faith is strong enough. Often
we feel like spiritual failures. The kind of spirituality we have been taught
does not envision 'good' Christians as people who wrestle with their thoughts
and are sad everyday. We think of 'good' Christians as people who trust
God and manage to smile in the midst of any circumstances. When we can't
manage to do this, we question and criticize ourselves.

But wrestling with our thoughts and experiencing sorrow day after day is
often a part of the recovery process. It is not a sign of failure to engage
in this hard work. It is a sign of courage. And it is a sign that our faith
is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life. People of
real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in their
heart.

Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
And I am so weary of heart-sorrow.
How long, Lord?
How long does this wrestling and sorrow go on?

Help me, Lord, not to experience this struggle as spiritual failure.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Jan 23, 2008

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How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out
to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look
at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before
me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.Habakkuk 1:2-3,13

Where were you God? Where were you when I needed you? Didn't you see the
violence? The abuse? The injustice? Didn't you care? There are times in
recovery when we are full of questions about God. The pain of past trauma
can be intensified when we begin to struggle with these hard questions about
God.

It is important to acknowledge that these questions about God are not academic
questions. No theoretical explanation of the problem of pain will soothe
our raging, confused hearts. These are urgent, personal questions about
God and about God's involvement in our lives. We want to know that God sees
and cares and intervenes in our lives. We need God. We need God's love. We
need God's help.

It is an important source of encouragement to know that we are not the first
to ask these hard questions. There is clear biblical precedent for asking
difficult questions about God. People of faith have always struggled with
questions like these. We can take comfort and courage from knowing that
the prophets also asked urgent questions similar to our own.

God, I am afraid.
I don't understand.
Violence and abuse happen and you do not stop it.
You seem absent.
You seem uncaring.
I need to know that you see and care.
I am calling to you for help, God.
Please hear me.
Please respond.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Jan 24, 2008

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O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my
body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.Psalm 63:1

When a young child is separated from her parents, she will protest their
absence. She will experience sadness, anxiety, anger and a longing for her
parents to return. These intense emotions are not a sign of her failure
as a child. Her protest is a clear sign of how important her parents are
to her, of how much she misses them, of how much she loves them. At certain
developmental stages, it is a sign of emotional health for a child to protest
separation. At certain ages a healthy child will protest, will be angry,
will be afraid, and will long for the parents return.

If one or both of our parents was in some way absent from our lives during
our formative years, it will be easy for us to imagine that God will leave
us as well. We may experience silence and distance. And we may find ourselves
longing for God.

Just as it is good for a child to protest the absence of a parent, it is
good for us to protest when we subjectively experience God's absence. It
is good to give voice to our longing for God. It is good to write or pray
or talk about our deep need for God's presence and love. We can call out
to God. We can protest God's absence.

O God, do not be silent.
Do not be distant.
I miss you when you seem so far away.
I long for you to be close.
I long to know that you care about me.
I long for you, God.
Nothing can replace you.
No one can be God but you.
Do not be silent.
Do not be distant.
Come. Speak.
I need you. Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Jan 25, 2008

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Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the
child she has born? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I
have engraved you on the palms of my hands.Isaiah 49:15-16

We may experience abandonment from a spouse who turns away from us to their
addiction of choice. We may experience feeling like we have been rejected
by friends. We may struggle with memories of parents who were not compassionate
with us. Or memories of parents who 'forgot' us in one way or another.

And so we say to God: "You will abandon and reject and forget me
like all the others!"

Sometimes these experiences are so familiar that we expect them from anyone
we want to be close to, including God. It is a terrible fear to live with.
It creates deep distress.

God responds to our distress with words of reassurance. We are not always
able to take in reassurance that is offered to us. But there are times when
it can feel like a drink of cool water to our parched throats.

God says "I am not like all the rest. I will not forget you. Even if
your parents forgot you, or your spouse turns away, or your friends leave,
I will not forget you. I have tattooed you on the palms of my hand".

I will not forget you.

It may not be easy for us to comprehend, but it is very clear. God says;
"I will not forget you."

I need reassurance, Lord.
I want to believe
that you will remember.
But I have been forgotten before.
I know you are not like that.
I know it in my head.
But my heart forgets so easily.
Reassure me, today, Lord
of your unfailing love.

Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Jan 26, 2008

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Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely
as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.Hosea 6:3

There are days when we feel God's presence. We sense God's love. We see God's
power. But we do not always feel or sense or see. There are times of silence,
distance and uncertainty. There are the difficult times of waiting for God to appear. In times like this we may find ourselves both longing for God and fearing that God will come.

The longing comes because in our heart of hearts we know that there is no
recovery without God's gracious presence. If God does not appear, we are stuck,
bound, hopelessly entangled in dysfunction. If God does appear, it will
be like the sun rising - we will be able to see the way. It will be like
gentle rains which nurture us so that we can grow and thrive.

The fear comes because often we do not see God as one who comes as 'sun'
and 'rain' to give life. We are afraid that when God does appear, it will
be to punish us, to demand restitution from us, to shame us. Because we
have served vengeful and vindictive gods, we fear that it will be the god-of-impossible-expectations who will finally appear.

We do well to follow the urging of this text to 'acknowledge God'. We need
daily to examine whom we serve. When we acknowledge the god-of -impossible-expectations, then we will surely fear his appearing. But if we acknowledge the God of
the Bible whose coming is to nurture and give life, then we will await God's
coming like the dawn of a new day.

I acknowledge you, Lord.
You are not the god of impossible-expectations.
You are not the god-who-is-eager-to-punish.
I know what it is like when these other gods come.
They bring shame, blame and fear.
I do not acknowledge them, Lord.
I acknowledge you.

Come as the dawn of a new day, Lord.
Bring light into my dark days.
Come as gentle rain, Lord,
Cleanse, renew and nurture.
Come, Lord, as the dawn.
Come as the rains.
Water the parched earth of my soul.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Jan 27, 2008

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I
will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right
hand.Isaiah 41:10

Many of us struggle with fear. It is a very uncomfortable emotion. We would
be happy to be rid of it. It causes our hearts to race, our focus of attention
to narrow, and terrible possibilities to enter our minds. We wish we could
banish fear from our hearts by sheer will power. We wish we could simply
stop feeling afraid. Unfortunately fear is not dismissed so easily.

There is something about texts such as this one that leave us very uncomfortable.
The words "do not fear" seem like a simple command. God says "do
not fear". It looks like a simple imperative. Our job is simply to
obey. But, we cannot seem to obey. No matter how hard we try not to be afraid,
we cannot seem to make our fears go away.

The key to understanding texts of this kind is to see that when God says
'do not fear', it is not a simple imperative from an authority figure. The
words "do not fear" are spoken as words of comfort. And they are followed
by a specific promise of God's presence with us.

A loving parent speaks to a child who awakens from a nightmare with words
such as, "Don't be afraid. I'm here with you. You are safe." This
is not a rejection of the child's fears. It is not an instruction to do
the impossible. It is, rather, a promise of protection. If a parent says
only "Don't be afraid," then the child learns that the parent
doesn't understand and the child feels unprotected. But if the parent says
"Don't be afraid, I'm here with you," the child's needs are validated
and the child is comforted by the parent's protection.

God comforts us in the way a loving parent comforts a frightened child.
God says to us, "I know that you are afraid; but I also want you to
know that I am here with you. I will not leave you. I will give you strength.
I will give you help. I will hold you by the hand so that you will not fall".

You know, God,
how often I am afraid.
And you know the soil in which these fears have grown.
And you know how I have struggled to be free from fear.
Help me to draw courage today from your presence.
Be with me.
Give me strength.
Help me.
Uphold me with your hand.
Still my fears, God of all Comfort.
Still my fears with your powerful love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Jan 28, 2008

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And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:7

Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking.

And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds.

Both our hearts and our minds need protection.

When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we
allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we
will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of
protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds.



Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'.
It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. God can be
trusted to guard us because God cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see
most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. God
can be trusted to guard us because God knows from personal experience the
dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. God
can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because God has the resources
to do what needs to be done.

The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize
or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This
peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the
gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security
that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten,
that God is with us, that we are loved.

Guard my breaking heart today, Lord.
Guard my troubled mind.
Let your peace do its work in me, Lord.
because I am in danger and I need your protection.
Guard me with your peace today.
Guard my heart and mind.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008

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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear
no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4

Sometimes the recovery journey takes us through the valley of the shadow
of death. It is a frightening valley.

What a difference it makes in times like this to hear God's promise to be
with us. It's not that the fears vanish, they don't always. But we experience
them differently when we are not alone. When we are alone our fears can
become the focus of our thoughts and feelings - they can consume all of
our emotional resources. But when our journey is a shared one, fear does
not have the same power over us.

God has made a very specific promise to us when we are going through the
most difficult of life's struggles. God has promised to be with us. It is hard to say how God's presence will be made known. Our subjective experience
of God's presence may vary widely. Sometimes when we least expect it, we may
hear the still, small voice of God saying "I am here". Sometimes
God will use a friend, a sponsor, a counselor, or someone in a support group
to speak to us in ways that help us to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes
God will give us a peace that needs no words.

The important reality is that God is with us. God does not come and go in
the way our experience of God's presence comes and goes. God does not forsake
us. God walks with us. Even through deep valleys.

God, I am walking through a difficult valley right now.
Sometimes I think my heart will give way with fear.
Remind me of your presence.
Sometimes I know you are here.
Sometimes I'm sure you have gone.
Are you really here?
Please walk close beside me.
I need your protection.
I need your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Jan 30, 2008

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If I go to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you
are there.Psalm 139:8

Sometimes life is hell. That's how it feels. It feels like we have taken
up residence in hell. Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us. Sometimes we
hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again.
Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted,
a place from which God has turned away.

But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'.
There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey. There are no
places unfamiliar to God. It is a difficult and painful journey, but our
lines of support are not stretched thin. God is not at a distance. God is
with us.

If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those
times in hell. If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional
and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.

No matter where I am, Lord
you are with me.
If I am up, today.
You are here.
If I am down.
You are here.
If I am very, very down.
You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down.
You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope
in the dark times of my recovery.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Jan 31, 2008

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In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what
we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us with groans that
words cannot express. Romans 8:26

When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability
to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more
that our weary hearts can muster - those are the times we need God's Spirit
most of all.

It is life itself to know that God pays attention to us. The Spirit of the
Living God is with us and is attentive to our weakness. God does not shame
us for our weakness. Our weakness is not a bad thing to God. Our weakness
is simply a reality. The Spirit's response to our weakness is to help us.
God is on our side. The Spirit knows us and loves us. God knows the pain that
crushes us. God helps us in our weakness.

In those moments when we have been silenced by life, the Spirit prays for
us. The Spirit prays with groans for which there is no language. When we are not
able to pray we can find comfort and hope in the promise that the Spirit
is praying for us.

Oh God
I need to be reminded when I feel so absolutely alone
that you know my pain,
you know my weakness.

When I come to the end of words,
when my mind is full of confusion,
help me to remember that you pray for me.

When I am overwhelmed with despair,
when I want to give up,
when I want to run away in fear,
it is only your presence,
gentle, powerful Friend,
that gives me hope and strength.

I need your help today.
I need you to pray for me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Feb 1, 2008

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When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through
the rivers, they will not sweep over you.Isaiah 43:2

There are times in the recovery process when it feels like we will drown
in sorrow. The losses, the betrayals, the failures threaten to overwhelm
us. The intensity of the emotional pain frightens us in times like this.
We feel ourselves loosing ground as life swirls around us.

This text states with great clarity two central truths which are critical
to our survival in times like this. First, God has made a very specific
promise to us. God says "I will be with you." This may not always
be what we want. We may want God to take the floods of life away. We may
want God to build dams upstream in life so that the danger of flood is diminished.
But, God's promise is clear. I will be with you.

Secondly, this text says very clearly "When you pass through the waters,
they will not sweep over you." God will protect us and see us through.
There are times in recovery when there just doesn't seem to be any way to
make it. Nothing is more painful in these times than to have someone who
stands at a distance express optimism about our recovery in a way that minimizes
the struggle. ["Oh, you're going to be fine. Stop worrying about it."]
Conversely, nothing is more valuable in these times than to have someone
with us who sees the danger clearly but who is able to be hopeful for us
and protect us and see us through

For your promise to be with me in the floods of life, God,
I give you thanks.
Help me to sense your presence.
For your hopefulness about my recovery,
I give you thanks.
Help me to share in your hope.
You are Life-Preserver to me, God.
Thank you.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 2/2/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16

God leads blind people along unfamiliar paths. God promises to make rough places smooth for sightless and disoriented people. God will not forsake them.

During recovery we often feel sightless and disoriented. Our abilities to see clearly are often very limited - we don't have enough distance on things to give proper perspective. Denial leaves us blind. Rejected emotions and ignored human needs can also contribute to spiritual and psychological blindness.

So many things in recovery are unfamiliar to us. We are not accustomed to feeling what we feel, to talking about our experiences, or to trusting other people. Honesty is new territory for us. All of this is not only unfamiliar territory, it is scary territory as well.

But it is exactly to people like us that God makes promises. God makes promises to sightless and disoriented people. God will guide. God will give light. God will smooth the rough places. God will not abandon.

I can't see very well, Lord.
I certainly am not familiar with this path, Lord.
Are you sure you know where this leads?
This feels like a pretty rough trail to me, Lord.
Are you sure we can make it?

Be my guide, Lord, I am afraid.
I would be lost without you.
I cannot find my way alone.
Guide me, Lord.
Turn darkness into light.
Make the rough places smooth.
Do not forsake me.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Feb 3, 2008

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"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: 'Father, I
have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be
called your son'. . . But while he was still a long way off, his father
saw him and was filled with compassion for him."Luke 15:18-20

It is difficult to think and feel about ourselves in Godly ways. Many of
us think that the prodigal son got it right. He had a well-practiced speech:
"I am no longer worthy". How like our speeches to ourselves! If
you hear about your unworthiness often enough, especially in childhood,
and if you internalize the speech thoroughly, it becomes a part of you.
Many of us know this particular speech so well that we can feel unworthy
for no particular reason. We do not feel unworthy because of something we
have done or said. We feel unworthy because of who we are. Many of us even
think that the more unworthy we feel, the more likely the Father will be
to welcome us back home!

But the Father responds quite differently from the prodigal's expectations.
The Father was 'filled with compassion' and he ran to his son and he kissed
him. When the prodigal finally got his speech out, the Father did not spend
time arguing the point. Instead he 'honored' the son with a robe, a ring
and a feast. He treated the prodigal in ways designed to build a very different
kind of self understanding.

Our goal is to learn to think and feel about ourselves in ways that are
consistent with the way God thinks and feels about us. God's perspective
is a surprising contrast to our own. God does not join our internal chorus
which is so persistent at proclaiming our unworthiness. Instead God says
"You are my child. You are loved!"

Lord, I have not learned to think and feel about myself in healthy ways.
Teach me to think and feel about myself
in ways that are consistent with the way you think and feel about me!
Help me to listen when you say "I love you".
Help me to take it in.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Feb 4, 2008

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Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." But you are
a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.Psalm 3:2-3

We receive messages about ourselves from the important people in our lives.
We internalize these messages and carry them with us, repeating them to
ourselves as if they were gospel truth. When the messages are shaming messages
then the internal chorus chants "You are not lovable. You are beyond
repair. Even God cannot help you."

This chorus is a chorus of lies. The psalmist rejects these lies. And we
need to begin to reject these lies as well.

The Lord is a "shield around me", the psalmist says. A shield
protects. It comes between the blows of an enemy and a person's vulnerable
places. Most shields are small and can only protect a limited area from
attack. But the shield which the Lord provides completely surrounds us.
We can let this shield protect us from these attacking messages.

The psalmist also says that the Lord "bestows glory on me and lifts
up my head". Heavy burdens of shame, neglect and abuse have bowed our
heads. The Lord listens, pays attention and cares about us. God's love counters
the voices of our internal shame-chorus so that we can lift our heads. God
replaces our shame with glory. It is a picture of a ragged, neglected child
whose head is bowed and shoulders are bent. A king sees the child and goes
to him. The king gently lifts the child's chin until his eyes meet his own
smiling eyes. He asks the child to come home and live as royalty with him.
The child is loved, honored, protected. You are the child. God lifts your
head and bestows glory.

God help me to stop listening to lies about you.
Help me to stop listening to lies about me.
Be a shield around me.
Bestow glory.
Lift up my head.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Feb 5, 2008

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I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well.Psalm 139:14

We are God's creation. God made us. And what God makes is wonderful.

This may sound pretty obvious, but we probably need to remind ourselves
that it is not everything-and-everybody-except-me that is wonderfully made.
It is everything-and-everybody-including-me that is fearfully and wonderfully
made by God.

When we have learned to see ourselves as people without value, when we have
internalized contempt as the basis for our personal identity, it is difficult
to see ourselves as one of God's wonderful works.

But you are one of God's wonderful works. You are precious to God. You are
a unique, irreplaceable expression of God's creative love.

It is good to praise God for making us. It is good to see ourselves as a
reason for thanksgiving and awe. God made our minds, our emotions, our needs,
our bodies, our creativity, our longings, our hopes. God is a marvelous creator
who made us wonderfully.

You are one of God's wonderful works. You can praise God that he made you
wonderfully.

Thank you,
Creator God,
that you made me.
and that all that you make is wonderful
including me.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Feb 6, 2008

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Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable
then they?Matthew 6:26

Many of us learn early in life that we need to earn our sense of value.
For some, value was earned by entertaining people with our clowning acts.
For others, value came from taking care of everyone else. And for others,
value was derived from achieving success of some kind. But often there is
no way to entertain enough, take care enough or achieve enough to meet our
needs for approval. No matter how compulsively we entertain, or care or
work, we still are not able to feel valued. These substitutes do not meet
the deepest longings of our heart. In addition we run the risk of becoming
compulsively attached to these substitutes because we fear that the sense
of value which they offer is our only hope of finding peace.

The longing to experience ourselves as valued is a fundamental human need.
The need is really a need to be heard, seen, enjoyed and loved by others
for who we are rather than for what we do. No amount of earned approval
can meet this need. We long to know that we have value simply because we
exist. This kind of value cannot be earned, it must be received as a gift.


Jesus says to us "you are valuable. Simply because you are, you are
valuable". The birds of the air are God's creatures. God sees them and
cares for them. God made them and God enjoys them. They are valuable. You,
too, are God's creation, made and known by God. God sees you and cares for
you. You are of great value.

As we grow in our awareness that our true value is a gift already given
to us by God, we can begin to let go of the tight hold we have on our substitute
strategies for achieving worth.

Father, you know how attached
I have become to earning my sense of value.
But, I can never seem to work hard enough.
Thank you, Creator God,
for valuing the birds of the air.
Thank you, Creator God,
for valuing me.
Help me to receive this good gift from you.
Help me to see myself as valuable in your eyes.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Feb 7, 2008

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Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.Isaiah 43:1

Abandoned. Neglected. Alone.

Many of us share these painful struggles. Unfortunately, many of us have struggled with them from very early in life. People from dysfunctional families often feel that they were never acceptable to their parents. Many struggle with the feeling that they can never be good enough to receive attention. If reinforced by rejection or abandonment from friends, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, we can easily conclude that we don't really 'belong' at all.

Humans have a deep longing to belong, to be emotionally bonded with others. Social isolation can be very painful to us. But social isolation may have felt like the only option open to us as children. Attempts at closeness may have meant experiencing control, abuse, rejection or loss. We may have pulled away to protect ourselves, even though it left us lonely and afraid.

God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

It may frighten us - this invitation to belong to God - even though we long for it. It may frighten us because we expect pain and disappointment, over-control and rejection. But gradually, as we continue the healing process, we can allow God to meet this deep need. We can allow ourselves to belong more and more to God.

Help me, God, to allow myself to belong to you. Thank you for calling me by name. Thank you for saying 'you are mine'. I want to belong to you, God. Help me to heal, Great Physician, So that I can accept my place in your family. Take away my fear, Father, give me the courage to belong to you. Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Feb 8, 2008

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For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do.Ephesians 2:10

God is a very capable craftsman. God's workmanship is of the highest quality.
We are God's workmanship. We are the art of a competent Creator.

Notice in this text that our creation 'in Christ Jesus' means that we are
competent as well. We are like our Creator in that we have been created
'to do good works'. God who is capable of good works made us to be capable
of doing good works as well.

This is quite a contrast to 'you can't do anything right'. In dysfunctional
families and institutions people learn to doubt their competence. This doubt
leads many people to work harder and harder to demonstrate their abilities.
In dysfunctional systems, however, no matter how hard we try, we can't try
hard enough. We learn that our problem is not that we are human and occasionally
make mistakes but that we are incompetent people. We learn that we are flawed
in a most basic way. No matter how compulsively we try, we can't ever get
it right.

This text is an affirmation of our competence, of our importance in God's
plans. God affirms us by saying "there are good things for you to do,
and I believe you can do them". Notice that the text does not say that
we need to do good works to earn God's love or to win God's approval or that
we have to do the work perfectly or compulsively. What is does say is that
God sees each of us as capable of good works. God invites
us to participate in the creative, redemptive work that God is doing in the world. God sees
us as capable.

You are competent, God.
Your works are good works.
It amazes me that you see me as competent.
Thank you for believing in me.
Help me to trust your words of affirmation.
Help me to find joy in doing good.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

2/9

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Feb 9, 2008

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This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our
hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is
greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.I John 3:19-20

Sometimes it is difficult to believe that we 'belong to the truth'. Sometimes
it is difficult to imagine having our 'hearts at rest'. The part of our
heart that is damaged by shame reminds us of all our inadequacies and failures.
As this text puts it, our hearts condemn us.

In the process of recovery many of us become aware that we have internalized
a voice of shame and self-condemnation. We may tell ourselves that we are
unlovable. "How could anyone care about me?" Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are worthless. "I'm no good." Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are not capable. "I can't do anything right." These are
some of the ways we condemn ourselves. We also may question our faith. We
may wonder, as this verse puts it, whether "we belong to the truth".
Because of our early experiences of rejection and our current self-condemnation,
we find ourselves expecting God to condemn us. As a result we cannot rest
in God's presence.

But God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything.
God knows our history. God knows the wounds in our past. God knows our humanness.
God knows our strengths and weaknesses. God knows our failures. God knows we
condemn ourselves and expect that God will condemn us as well. God knows that we need healing.


God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. And
God does not condemn us.

I long to set my heart at rest, Lord.
I long to rest in your presence.
But, my heart is full of self-condemnation.
The voices of shame are loud within me.

I am afraid that you will also condemn me, Lord.
I am afraid that you will agree with the shame voices.

Speak to me today, Lord.
Speak more loudly than the voices of shame.
Be greater than my heart.
Shame can only feed on the hidden things, Lord,
but nothing is hid from you.
Be more powerful than the shame, Lord.
Let me find rest today in your love.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, 2/10/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103:13-14

We are not very understanding or tolerant of our limitations. We forget how we are 'formed'. Instead of accepting our creatureliness as a good gift from God, we often find ourselves being harshly judgmental and unforgiving of ourselves. This lack of compassion can lead to self-abusive and self-neglectful behaviors. When we forget how we are formed, we can forget to take care of such creaturely basics as sleep, decent food and relaxation.

Fortunately, God does not forget how we are formed. God remembers. God knows we have limitations. God remembers that we are 'dust'. Because we are so intolerant of our limits, it is important to emphasize that the metaphor 'dust' in this text does not imply worthless. It is not that God remembers how worthless we are - just dust to be sweep up and thrown away . Quite to the contrary, God remembers our weakness and limitations and has compassion on us. Again, because we are so intolerant of our limits, it is also probably important to emphasize that 'compassion' is not 'pity'. God does not pity us poor, pathetic, helpless mortals. Quite to the contrary, God's compassion is the tender, loving care of a good parent towards a child.

God knows and respects our limitations. They are not a surprise to God. God is our Creator. God remembers what we tend to forget. God remembers that we are creatures.

Thank you, Lord, for remembering what I forget.
You remember that I am human,
that I need to sleep,
that I need to play,
that I have limited strength and ability.
Thank you for having reasonable expectations of me.
Thank you for understanding my limits.
Help me to be compassionate with my humanness
Even as you, Lord,
are compassionate toward me.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Feb 11, 2008

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"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.
"Bring them here to me," he said.

Matthew 14:17-18

Sometimes after reading the newspaper or watching the news on television
we experience an intensely painful awareness of the enormity of the world's
problems and the hopeless inadequacy of the resources available to solve
these problems. During recovery we often experience these same feelings
of helplessness and inadequacy. Our personal problems seem enormous. Our
resources seem incredibly limited. Part of our denial comes from our desire
to avoid recognizing that our personal problems are bigger than our personal
resources. We will need resources more extensive than our own to make any
progress in recovery.


Fortunately, God has a long and consistent history of working with people
who have limited resources. It has been God's consistent pattern throughout
the biblical record. God's preference is to bring strength out of weakness.
The abundance which God brings from a few loaves and fishes is a clear sign
of the surprising resource-full-ness of God. God does not seem to be at home
among the well-nourished, the resourced, the un-needy. In a reversal of
all of our expectations, God comes to the needy and limited with invitations
to participate in the Kingdom.


When we see how few loaves and fishes we have, we become convinced that
our needs for nourishment will not be met. And we conclude that there will
be nothing left over to share. But the hopelessly limited resources somehow
turn into abundance when offered to God. There is enough for us and enough
to share. Each day, one day at a time, God accepts our limited resources
and surprises us with what can be done.


I am hungry, Lord.
I have not been getting the nourishment I need.
What I have is so limited.
A few loaves.
A few fish.
There will not be enough to go around.


I cannot imagine what use they will be
but I make my limited resources available to you.
Accept my limited resources, Lord.
I bring them to you for your blessing.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008

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"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"Mark 9:24


We live somewhere between belief and unbelief. Our faith wavers. At times
faith is strong and stable. At times it is weak, and shaken.


For many of us, our capacity for trust has been diminished by experiences
with people who were not trustworthy. We have learned by painful experience
that we will be disappointed if we trust. One of the most intense struggles
in recovery is to rebuild our capacity for trust and hope. We want to believe,
but we are afraid.


Some people believe that God will respond only to people who 'believe enough'.
"If you have enough faith, God will hear you," they say. But Jesus
said "All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed." The mustard
is the smallest of seeds. God does not reject small, limited faith. God will
not ignore even the desire to believe. God will not dismiss a willingness
to learn to trust. Mountains have been moved by less. God accepts our limited
faith.


God does not ask us to wait until we are certain and strong in faith. God accepts us as we are, even with our limited faith.


Lord, you see my struggle to believe,
to trust,
and to hope.
You know my fears,
my hesitations,
my questions.
Help me to accept the limits of my faith.
Help me to bring my limited faith to you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 2/13/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.
Mark 16:8

The most reliable early manuscripts of the Gospel of Mark end with this verse. Mark's version of the Good News ends with this very high drama. Just at the point in the story where we might have expected to find rejoicing, we find fear. The women are afraid. Just at the point where we might have expected confidence, we find uncertainty. The women are bewildered. What a remarkable thing that the people chosen by God to be the first messengers of the Good News were too frightened and bewildered to speak! God chose to entrust the future of the Kingdom to people with limited courage.

God knows our courage is limited. He knows that fear can immobilize us. God does not shame us for being afraid. God has trusted people with this kind of limit in the past. God does not need us to have unshakable faith.

The women in this text did eventually speak. Courage was granted to them. Fears faced without shame will lose their power to immobilize us. God knows that fear is part of our human condition. Our fears do not keep God from entrusting us to be message bearers of Good News.

Thank you, Lord,
for entrusting the Kingdom
to the tired and traumatized.
Thank you for accepting me
and my limited courage.
Help me today to accept my limits, Lord.
Help me to give my fears to you.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 2/14/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

"When I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me, I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said good-by to them and went on to Macedonia."
2 Corinthians 2:12-13

Paul was a missionary writing to a congregation that had mixed feelings about his ministry. Under these circumstances we might reasonably expect him to defend himself. We might expect him to say 'Things are going great! Open doors! Packed stadiums! Now on several continents! Soon on satellite to the whole planet!" But he doesn't say that. He tells the truth. "There was an open door, but I had no peace of mind". Paul chooses to do honest, straight, appropriate, risky self-disclosure. "I was anxious and lonely and it effected my ability to work. I could not minister to others because I was too needy." Paul rejects the 'superstar' or 'hero' model for ministry. "I can't do this alone," he was saying, "I need Titus".

Like Paul, we have limits in our work and ministry. God does not ask us to be superheros. We may wish for this out of a deep need for approval, but it is not what God asks of us. Like Paul, we will have open doors that we will not be able to respond to because we are too tired, or too anxious, or too lonely. It is part of the reality of being human. God understands these kinds of limits.

Lord, I want to do it all.
I want to be a superhero.
But I am so limited.
Give me the grace to be honest.
Give me the courage to admit my loneliness and anxiety.
Give me the courage to admit my exhaustion.
Give me the grace to be human.
Amen.

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, Feb 15, 2008

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Be still, and know that I am God.Psalm 46:10


We need to be reminded that we are not God.


This seems pretty basic. You wouldn't think it would be hard to remember.
But we get so caught up in proving ourselves by performing, achieving and
rescuing that we forget that we are humans with real limits. We fill our
time so full of frenzied activity that there is no 'stillness'. And when
there is no stillness, it is hard to remember who is God and who is not.


Fortunately, God does not forget who is God and who is not. God invites us
to quiet ourselves, to slow ourselves down. God invites us to be still long
enough to regain perspective. "Be still", God says, "and
know that I am God."


In the stillness we can see again that there is a difference between our
frenzy and God's kingdom. It is God's work to provide and protect and rescue.
It is not our work. We can do our part. But our part needs to be respectful
of our human limits. Our part needs to actively acknowledge our dependence
on God. God is God, and we are not.


Help me to slow down, Lord.
Help me to be quiet.
Help me to be still long enough to remember that you are God.
Help me to remember who is creature and who is Creator.
Let this truth free me, Lord, to accept my limits,
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 2/16/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let you ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
Psalms 130:1-2

Grief is often experienced as being 'in the depths'. Sometimes it feels like we have been swallowed up by grief. Our bodies ache. Our minds can't focus. Our hearts feel like they will break.

Our cry for help during times of grief may seem desperate and feeble. We want to believe that God hears us. We want to believe that God is attentive to our pain. But we feel uncertain.

One of the most difficult experiences during seasons of grief is feeling as if our crys for help fall on deaf ears. Like the psalmist, we find ourselves pleading with God to pay attention. God, who may have seemed so present and attentive when our pain was less intense, can seem strangely absent just when we need God most. When we are in the most pain, we are often least able to experience God's loving presence.

This subjective experience of God's inattentiveness can be terrifying. But it can also be the starting point for growing a deeper and more meaningful faith. A faith that has found the courage to honestly face these experiences of God's absence will be a transformed faith. A faith that has survived a season of grief will have experienced the realities of the spiritual life at a much deeper level. From experiences of this kind we can learn to give up simplistic spiritualities. We can learn to pray with more honesty and integrity.

Can you see me, God?
Can you hear me?
Listen!
Pay attention!
I am calling to you for help.
I am overwhelmed with sorrow.
Have mercy on me.
Hear my cry for help.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Feb 17, 2008

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A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for
her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.Matthew 2:18


There are times when there is no consolation for grief. There is no comfort.
In these times we feel that those who try to comfort us do not understand
the vastness of our pain. All we know, all we see, is the terrible loss
we have suffered. The world feels as if it should stop. Nothing matters
but our loss.


We weep and rage and long for the return of what we have lost.


This happened to many of the families living in Bethlehem at the time of
Jesus' birth. In hopes of killing the Messiah, Herod ordered that the oldest
male child under two years old in that town be put to death. It was into
this world of violence and terror that Jesus was born. The Christmas story
is not a fairy tale with happy endings, but a story about real life and
terrible loss.


There are times in our lives for weeping without comfort, for weeping with
anguish and rage. God has come before into times like this. God comes as
well into our times of anguish and rage. Because God comes there will eventually
be a time to be comforted. And a time to heal. And a time to go on.


But there is a time to weep. It cannot be rushed, or bypassed. There is
a time for weeping.


God, hold me when I weep,
when I refuse comfort,
when I cannot see beyond this pain.
Give me courage to grieve deeply, Lord.
Help me to tolerate the silence,
as I wait for you to speak.
Help me to survive the loneliness
as I await your coming.
Help me to grieve in ways
that draw me closer to you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Feb 18, 2008

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He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with
suffering.Isaiah 53:3


Many people have the impression that good Christians are happy, joyful,
victorious people. In this fantasy, good Christians are people whose problems
seem to vanish when they trust God and pray about it. Unaffected by the
pain of life, these relentlessly cheerful people read the Bible, sing praise
songs and feel no pain.


Yet Christians are at heart the followers of a man who was named 'man of
sorrows.' Jesus was not relentlessly cheerful. He did not practice a mood
altering, pain-numbing religion. He grieved. He wept. He was familiar with
suffering. Our God is a God who knows suffering. God grieves.



In those times when we shame ourselves for our sorrow, it can be an enormous
encouragement to remember that God is personally familiar with grief. If
God grieves, we can expect to do the same.


God, you surprise me again!
When I grieve, I think that if I could just cheer up,
you would be pleased.
But, you grieve also.
Man of Sorrows you are acquainted with sorrow.
Thank you for understanding.
Thank you for grieving.
Help me to experience your presence in my time of grief.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Feb 19, 2008

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The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in
spirit.Psalm 34:18


Many people are convinced that when they are brokenhearted, when they grieve
deeply over their losses, that God is displeased. God is sometimes seen
as a person who expects us to be happy even in the face of trauma and loss.
God is someone who asks us to 'snap out of it' and 'cheer up'. As a result,
we anticipate rejection rather than compassion.


How surprising it is to hear that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted!
God does not expect cheerfulness. God does not reject us. God is compassionate
and responsive. God is close - not far away.


In dysfunctional families difficult emotions often result in withdrawal
and isolation. It is this kind of emotional distance that we now expect
from God. It is not always easy to trust God to be close to us when we are
brokenhearted. And it is not always easy to allow ourselves the vulnerability
of such closeness. But God is eager to heal us, to restore us and to save
us when our spirits are crushed.


When I was angry, Lord,
I was sent to my room.
"Don't come out until you have a smile on your face!"
When I was sad, Lord
I was told to cheer up.
"Just snap out of it!"


Now I expect to be abandoned, Lord.
I expect to be left alone with my pain.
I expect to be lonely in my brokenness.


When I am broken hearted,
When I am crushed in spirit,
Help me to rest in your promise to be close.
Help me to rest in your promise to save.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Feb 20, 2008

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He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Isaiah 40:29
Grief is exhausting. Physically we are fatigued. Mentally we are spent.
Emotionally we are drained. Spiritually we are crushed. Weariness seems
to cast a shadow over all of life. We drag through the days. We are without
strength and without power.


Our bodies need to be refreshed with sleep and recreation. Our minds need
to be stimulated with hopeful thoughts about our future. Our hearts need
to be soothed. Our spirits need to be infused with a desire to engage in
life again.


God comes to us in the weariness and weakness of grief with gifts of strength
and power. God does not shame us for our weakness. God does not reject us
for being too weary to function. We may be tempted to refuse God's gifts
either because we want to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, or because
we don't believe we are entitled to receive good gifts. But, nevertheless,
God offers us good gifts in seasons of grief. God offers strength and power.
When we can admit our need and are ready to be honored by the Giver of these
gifts, they can be ours.


I am weary, Lord.
Sometimes I think I am suppose to stay weary.
I do not feel entitled to be strong.
And sometimes I want to manage without your help.
I don't feel that I deserve help.


Thank you for your offer of strength and power.
Give me strength today.
Give me the power I need to make it through this day.
Give me the grace to accept your gifts.
Strengthen and empower me as I grieve today.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Feb 21, 2008

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Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.Matthew 5:4


Jesus pronounced a blessing on people who are courageous enough to grieve.
Nothing could be more surprising than this. When we grieve, we often feel
like spiritual failures. But God sees things differently. From God's perspective,
mourning is valued. It is an occasion for blessing. It comes with the opportunity
for comfort.


To be comforted is to be held in the safety of arms you trust. To be comforted
is to weep and rage in the company of someone who loves us. The hard edges
of the pain are soothed. Strength and hope return in some measure. Healing
begins.


Grieving is a commitment to the hard work of facing reality and allowing
ourselves to feel the full range of emotions God has given us. It is painful
work. But it is work that is blessed by God.


Father of comfort,
you are my refuge and strength,
my help in times of trouble.
Were it not for your faithfulness,
I would hide from my pain.
I would choose not to see my losses.
I would not be able to face what has happened.
Man of sorrow, teach me to grieve.
Give me the courage to mourn
so that I can be comforted.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 2/22/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habakkuk 3:17-18

Sometimes it feels like life is the experience of loss upon loss. There are times when losses are all we can see. We are like this farmer taking inventory. The figs, the grapes, the olive crop, and the wheat are all lost. The sheep and the cattle are gone. There is nothing left, and nothing to hope for. In times like this we are in danger of believing that fear and sorrow are our only companions.

If the inventory of our lives stopped here, then all would be lost. We would be without hope. But there is more to the story of our lives than our inventory of losses can ever show. We can return again to the hope that God is bigger than all of the losses of life. No matter how long our inventory of losses may be, we can find in God a peace and hope that reshapes our struggle. The losses do not magically disappear. But, when we turn our hearts toward God, we know again that there is more to our life story than losses. We do not want the bottom line of our life's story to read "this was a person who experienced many losses". As each day we turn our hearts again to God, we are writing a life story that will end with "though the losses were painful, this was a person who found deep joy in God's love."

Lord, my losses are many.
Help me not to pretend about them.
Help me to grieve, Lord.
But help me as well to turn my heart toward you.
Even as I grieve,
help me to find
joy in you.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Feb 23, 2008

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It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn
what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to
call the righteous, but sinners.Matthew 9:12


One of the most remarkable features of the human condition is our capacity
to pretend that we are healthy when our lives are in total chaos.


We work hard to cover up our problems and flaws in our character. We will
sacrifice almost anything to keep from facing the truth about ourselves.
We work this hard to look good because we experience our human needs, limits
and failures with deep shame - a shame that drives us to strive harder and
harder to look better and better. We sacrifice our serenity, our relationships,
our sanity on the altar of perfectionism. We also sacrifice any possibility
of getting the help we need by continuing to insist that "we can handle
it."


God does not ask such sacrifices from us. God has no need for us to be perfect.
Jesus speaks to us gently but very clearly about this issue. He confronts
our pretense, shame and perfectionistic strivings. He says in effect "you
do not have to sacrifice yourself in this way. You do not have to drive
yourself like this. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I want you to learn to
be mercy-full to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. It will free
you to accept your need of healing. It will allow you to acknowledge your
longing for me."


Jesus was saying "I did not come to pass out blue ribbons to the people
who have all the answers and have worked hard to prove themselves. I came
to bring hope and healing to people who know they need help." We can
stop shaming and condemning ourselves because God does not shame or condemn
us. God knows our brokenness, our pain, our need. We can give up our attempts
to prove ourselves and acknowledge our need for help and healing.


Lord, I don't want to be needy.
I want to be strong for you.
But, I can't sustain the pretense any longer
I have nothing to show for all my efforts to look good.
All I have done is shut you out of my life.


Today I acknowledge my need for you, Lord.
I need your healing and your forgiveness.
I am not healthy.
I need a doctor.
I need you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Feb 24, 2008

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One who was there had been an invalid for thirty eight years. When Jesus
saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition a long
time he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"John 5:5-6


Do you want to get well?! What a shocking question. Isn't the answer obvious?
Why even ask?


One of the most confusing parts of the recovery process is the fact that
we have many layers of resistance to recovery. As we begin to see the changes
which recovery will demand, we begin to see how attached we have become
to our existing way of life. Sometimes we play games to hold on to the past. We have
a good friend who prayed early in recovery that God would deliver her from
alcoholism so that she could continue to drink! We are all like this - we
want healing but we fear the changes which healing will bring.


Sometimes the fear of recovery comes from the fact that we can't imagine
any way of being in the world other than what we have known. A life consumed
with despair, rage and self-loathing may seem pretty awful, but its the
only life we may have known. Any change may seem risky and uncertain.


God is not ignorant of our resistance to healing. God asks the difficult
question: "Do you want to get well?" It's not always as obvious
as it seems. The 12-Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses this issue when
it talks about being "entirely ready" for God to change us. The
process of becoming "entirely ready" is at the heart of the struggle
of recovery. Our hearts and minds are being prepared to answer 'yes' to
God's offer of wholeness.


My answer to your question, Lord, is yes.
I am ambivalent at times.
I am uncertain and afraid at times.
But, I do want to get well.
The answer is yes.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Feb 25, 2008

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A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you
are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and
touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!"
Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.Matthew 8:2-3


There is a wonderful simplicity about this story - it summarizes a great
deal of life in a few words. A man recognizes his need, comes, kneels, asks,
is touched by Jesus and is cured. Many of us are living this story. We recognize
our need. We come. We kneel. We ask. We await God's touch. We experience
God's healing.


We would like our recovery to be just this simple. We want recognizing our
need to be simple. We want our 'coming' to be simple. And we want our 'kneeling'
to be simple. And we want our 'request' to be simple. And we want God's
touch and healing to be immediate, tangible, simple.


There are, unfortunately, a few complications. For people who have lived
in denial, 'recognizing our need', 'coming' and 'kneeling' are all major
changes in the way we normally function. We have grown so accustomed to
(and so attached to) our dysfunctions! So, recovery requires change. And
change is always difficult - even when we call the change a 'healing.'


What is most helpful in this text is Jesus' clarity about his desires for
us. Those of us who have been damaged by shame can expect to be uncertain
about God's desires for us. Jesus is clear that it is God's desire for us
to be healed. Our Healer wants to give us the gift of wholeness. When we
recognize our illness and we 'come' and 'kneel' and 'ask', then there is
no uncertainty in Jesus' response. He says "I am willing for you to
be free of this affliction. I want health and joy for you.


I'm not sure you want to heal me, Lord.
Are you willing?
Or are you eager to punish?
Are you the god-of-impossible-expectations?
Are you pleased when I suffer?
Or are you willing to heal me?
I need healing, Lord.
But, more than healing, I need you.
Help me today to experience your desire to heal.
Help me today to experience your eagerness to heal, Lord.
Prepare me to receive your gift of healing.
Heal me.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008

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When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed
their sick.Matthew 14:14


It is foundational to our healing for someone to see us with compassion.
We do not see ourselves with compassion. Instead, we often see ourselves
through harsh, condemning eyes. We have come to reject and shame ourselves
for our need. In order to learn to heal from the inside out we need someone
to see us differently than we see ourselves. We need someone to see us as
we are and to respond to us with emotional warmth and genuine concern.


Jesus saw. And had compassion. And he healed. All three experiences are
helpful in recovery.


God sees us. He sees that we struggle, that we need help, that we hurt.
Our brokenness is not a surprise or a disappointment to God.


God has compassion on us. God feels with us. God is emotionally responsive
to us. It matters to God that we are in need. It impacts God.


God heals. Having seen us and had compassion for us, God responds. God
touches our wounds. God mends our broken hearts. God strengthens our weary
spirits.


For those of us who have felt invisible, who have experienced shame and
rejection and abuse, it is a wonderful thing to find someone who sees, has
compassion and seeks to heal!


Lord, thank you that you see me.
You see my pain.
Thank you that it matters to you that I struggle and hurt.
Thank you that it is in the context of personal attention and compassion
that you heal me.
I await your healing touch today.
Amen


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008

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He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised
reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.Isaiah 42:2-3


Cheer up! Snap out of it! I thought you would be better by now! What's your
problem?!


When we have been badly bruised, we have an increased sensitivity to noise.
Comments like these - which many of us have heard even from people who genuinely
love and care for us - are a kind of 'noise' during recovery. Because we
have been bruised, these comments often feel like 'shouts' or 'raised voices
in the street.' They are a kind of public shaming because of our inadequacies
and neediness. And this feels like it will do us in - like the tiny recovery
candle that we have just managed to light is being snuffed out by the wind
of the shout.


And so when God responds with gentleness we are surprised. No shouting.
No yelling. No hurrying to get better. Instead, we find compassion and tenderness.
Our Healer sees that we are like a bruised reed. God will not break us. God
will patiently restore us. God sees we are like a smoldering wick, ready
to go out. Others might give up on us. But God will work with us until we
burn brightly again.


Gentleness. Patience. Persistence. We need all three. These are the gifts
offered to us by our healing God.


I am bruised, Lord.
I am smoldering.
And, I am so accustomed to shouting.
It's so noisy that I don't always hear your voice.
I don't expect your gentle ways.
I expect you to yell, to be impatient.
I expect you to give up on me.
But you do not yell.
You are not impatient.
You do not give up.
Thank you.
Gentle Healer, teach me to be gentle.
Teach me to be compassionate with myself and with others.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 2/28/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I will heal their waywordness and love them freely.
Hosea 14:4

Waywordness is a turning away from what is in our best interest and following depraved, capricious inclinations. There are many ways in which waywardness can be expressed. Some of us are openly rebellious. We flaunt our wild behavior and laugh at God. Others of us are quietly wayward. We try to appear compliant and good but we are self-reliant and defiantly independent.

No matter how we express our waywardness it is a destructive force in our lives. In our attempts to protect ourselves from any further pain we turn away from God and from others who love us. We shut them out. And we shut out their love. As a result, we close ourselves off from what we want and need most desperately in life - to be known and loved.

God promises to heal our waywardness. God understands that our turning away is the result of some deep wound in us. God sees this. God knows. God promises to heal us by loving us freely. When we close the doors of our heart, God does not stop loving us. Instead God continues to love us generously and completely. God will love us freely until our fears are gone and our defenses can come down. God will love us freely so that one day we will be able to give up our waywordness and allow ourselves the joy of being loved.

Heal my waywardness, Lord.
When I turn away from you,
love me so that I will return to you again.
Amen.

[janbear]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 2/29/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)


The Lord your God is with you he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

God comforts and takes joy in his children. We are like infants in his arms. God delights in us, quiets us with his love, and sings for joy over us.

It may be very difficult to imagine God so full of joy over you. This image is especially difficult for people who have been abandoned physically or emotionally by parents. You may have been unwanted. You may have been criticized and rejected. You may have been abused at the hands of the people you needed most to comfort you.

But we are not unwanted by God. We will not be rejected or abused by God. God delights in us. God longs to quiet our agitation and anxiety with love. God is so glad we are alive. God sings for joy! The Creator of the Universe takes such delight in us and sings for joy!

Do you delight in me, God?
Are you glad I'm alive?
You amaze me!
Help me, Father God,
to experience your protection.
Help me, Mother God,
to experience your nurture.
Quiet my anxious heart.
Sing to me, God.
Sing your songs of joy to me until I am quieted with your love.
Amen.

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, Mar 1, 2008

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The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He
will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.Isaiah 40:28


There are times during our struggle to heal when our emotions become intense
and stay intense for what seems like a very long time. We feel like we rant
and rave and weep for hour after hour, day after day. And we worry that
the people in our lives who love and support us will grow tired and weary.
Will we wear them out? Will they grow tired of the journey?


In those times when we fear the limits of those who love us, we need to
remind ourselves that the Everlasting God does not grow tired or weary.
We can pour our heart out to God over and over again. We can rage and weep.
God listens without hurry or exhaustion. God will not tire of us.


And God understands. Beyond what we can understand or fathom, God sees and
knows and understands.


We need to keep talking to the people who support us, but with an appreciation
for their limits and boundaries. We also need to talk to God. We can speak
our heart freely and fully to our Creator every day, every hour. God will
not tire of us.


It sounds silly when I say it, Lord.
but sometimes I worry that I will wear you out.
Or bore you.
But you are Everlasting God.
Creator of the ends of the earth.
You do not grow weary.
Your understanding cannot be fathomed.
You understand.
You do not tire of me.
Thank you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Mar 2, 2008

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He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and
carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.Isaiah 40:11


The Almighty God, Creator of heaven and earth, is pictured many times in
the Bible as a Shepherd God. This may not be shocking to modern readers
- most of us don't know much about sheep herding beyond the few sentimental
ideas we may have about rural life. But nothing was more ordinary in biblical
times that sheep herding. It was a dirty job. It was a low prestige job.
A shepherd lived with his sheep. Day and night he was with them, paying
attention to their needs, providing protection, and guiding them.


For the little ones in the flock, the most vulnerable ones, there was often
a need for individual care and attention. In times of special need or danger,
the shepherd would seek them out, lift them into his arms and carry them
close to his heart.


This is how God cares for us. God is a God of gentleness, of tender affection,
of protection, and of nurture. Our God is a Shepherd God. When we feel afraid
or vulnerable, God is aware of our need. We are gathered into God's arms. We are carried close to God's heart.


I am your lamb, Lord
The wolves are not far off.
Pick me up and hold me in your arms.
Carry me close to your heart.
Allow me to experience the mystery of being held by your loving arms.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Mar 3, 2008

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I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power
through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your
hearts through faith.Ephesians 3:16


Sometimes recovery is exhausting. Sometimes we feel like a raw nerve all
the way down to the core of our being. You can't touch anything without
causing pain. In times like this we see clearly that our healing must be
from the inside out. Nothing superficial will be of any consequence. We
need our 'inner being', our 'heart', to experience God's healing power.


It is clear from this text that God understands where our healing must take
place. The Spirit seeks to strengthen us in our 'inner being'. Christ seeks
to dwell in our 'hearts'. God is not interested in appearances. God is not
interested in performances. It is not God's plan for us to 'look good'. God's
work will be deeper and necessarily more painful than this. The transformation
we need will take place at the core of our being.


This may seem impossibly difficult to us. But it is not impossible for God.
It is out of 'his glorious riches' that God can strengthen us. God is not
helpless in the face of our brokenness. God is a resource-full God.


I have worked hard to look good on the outside, Lord.
But, it has done no good.
It hasn't worked.
I am not what I appear to be.
I need to heal from the inside.
Only you can do that, Lord.
Come Holy Spirit, to my inner being.
Come Christ, dwell in my heart.
Heal and strengthen me in the depths of my person.
Out of your riches, strengthen me.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Mar 4, 2008

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Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he
asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father
in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!Matthew 7:9-11


Our children ask regularly for bread, milk, cereal and every other kind
of food in the house. We delight in their appetite and their growth and
development. It is pleasurable for us to provide the basic good things they
need to be nourished and sustained physically.


Jesus uses the simple joys of parenting to make a point about God. Just
like parents enjoy providing for their children, God is eager to provide
good things for us. God is a good parent. God delights in our growth, development
and nurture.


But God is not a codependent parent. God wants us to ask directly for the
things we need. The importance of asking comes from the fact that it requires
us to acknowledge our need. We have learned to deny our needs. We have learned
to act as if we can take care of ourselves. As a result, we have a difficult
time both asking God for good things and trusting God to respond.


Most of us begin with the struggle to identify our needs and to put them
into words. After this we struggle to acknowledge that these needs can't
be met with our own resources. And finally, we struggle to come to God and
to trust God to be a giver of good gifts.


Lord, I acknowledge to you today that I have many needs.
I cannot take care of these needs on my own.
I turn to you for help.
Giver of Good Gifts, hear my prayer.
I am in need of what only you can give.
Help me to trust you today.
Help me to rest in the promise that you desire to give good gifts.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 3/5/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.
Hosea 11:4

We have all experienced a variety of leadership styles. Unfortunately we are most familiar with either the chaotic leadership of leaders-who-don't-lead or the rigid leadership of leaders-who-control-inappropriately.

Because we are so familiar with these dysfunctional leadership styles, we may not always expect God's leadership to be helpful. Sometimes we worry that God cannot be trusted to lead effectively in times of crisis or uncertainty. But God does not appear to have uncertainties about the role of Leader. God will lead us. God is familiar with this territory. God has charted these waters. God knows how to find water holes in this desert. God can find trails in this trackless wasteland. God can be trusted to lead.

God will lead us, but God will not lead with heavy-handed-ness and control. God does not lead using threats and punishments. God leads us with kindness and with love.

God is pictured in this text as a nurturing, attentive, kind parent. God lifts the burden off our back. God bends down and feeds us. We can trust God to lift from us the 'yokes' that bind us. God will feed us. God will lead us with love.

Burden-lifter, give me strength today.
God-of-Nurture, give me nourishment today.
Lead me with kindness.
Tie me to you with love.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, Mar 6, 2008

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Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory
of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and
animals and reptiles.Romans 1:23


We do not take wood or stones and make idols. We do not pray to statues
or prepare food for idols to eat.


It is not with our hands but with our imaginations that we carve out little
gods to worship. Just like those who carve out idols with their hands, we
make little gods out of our fear and ignorance. Our fundamental problem
is that we imagine a God that comes out of our human experience. We imagine
God to be like the people we have known in our lives. If we have been raised
with impossible expectations, we may find ourselves worshipping the god-of-impossible-expectations.
If we have been neglected, we may find ourselves in the service of the god-who-does-not-care.
Since these gods do not respond to us when we call, we work harder and harder
to please them. We try to be good. We try to be religious. But, we can never
do enough. In this way we trade the 'glory of the immortal God' for the
very dysfunctional images which arise from our experiences with 'mortal
men'.


The good news is that God is not the way we expect. The one true
God, the immortal God, is a glorious God. God is a compassionate God, slow
to anger, abounding in love and mercy.


Lord, you can see how I cling to my little gods.
I have tried so hard to please them.
But, they are harsh and abusive.
I cannot please them.
But I can't seem to get rid of them either.
They are awful little gods, but they are all I know.
I have grown accustomed to them.
I have adapted my expectations to match their smallness.


I am weary to death of the gods who come from shame, Lord.
I long to worship you, God of Grace.
I long to worship You.
You are the God of Glory.
Give me eyes to see you more clearly today.
Give me a heart that hopes in you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 3/7/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight.
Jeremiah 9:24

God delights in kindness, justice and righteousness. None of this is easy for us to believe.

Kindness is difficult for some of us to imagine because we do not have extensive personal experience with kindness. We can imagine God as a weak, codependent, ineffective being whose specialty is being relentlessly nice to people. But what of the God who exercises kindness? What would that look like?

Justice is difficult for some of us to imagine because we have not had extensive personal experience with justice. In dysfunctional families justice is either chaotic or completely absent. But what of the God who exercises justice? What would that look like?

Righteousness is difficult for some of us to imagine because we have not had extensive personal experience with righteousness. We do not have instincts for doing what is right, we do not delight in doing righteousness, we expect it to be boring, dreary and out-of-date. We may delight in caretaking and codependent niceness, but is that the same as delighting in righteousness? Probably not. So, what of the God who exercises righteousness. What would that look like?

God is capable of delight. God is not the Unmoved One. God is the Most Moved of us all. God's compassion and kindness are free and full. God's commitment to justice is beyond all our imaginations. God pursues righteousness.

Learning to share in God's struggle for kindness, justice and righteousness will require significant changes for us. It cannot be done in a one time event. It will be a life-time quest. We will forget and remember again. We will run away and come back again. But each day in the struggle we will grow in our capacity for delight. Until, in the end, when God's purposes are complete, we will be filled with delight at the triumph of God's kindness, justice and righteousness

God of kindness, I want to understand you better.
God of justice, I want to live in solidarity with you.
God of righteousness, help me to delight in what pleases you.
Increase my capacity for delight, Lord.
Let me discover you afresh today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 3/8/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God
1 Thessalonians 1:9

It is remarkably easy for us to grow accustomed to false gods. We can develop a bizarre security in trying to please a god-who-will-not-be-pleased. We persist in the belief that if we keep trying, and keep working and keep attempting to control ourselves, we may finally be acceptable to our idol-god. But the trying and working and attempting to control never seem to work. Instead, we find ourselves re-enacting old family dramas. We find ourselves ever more deeply entrenched in shame, blame, rejection and self-loathing.

A remarkable thing can happen when we turn from our idols, from our false little gods, to serve the living and true God. It doesn't happen all at once. But gradually we unclench our tight fists. We open our closed hearts. We take in light. We take in love. It is like coming outside after being in a small, dark room. We walk outside and feel overwhelmed by the richness of the sky and land around us. We thought God was small and dreary. And we discover instead vastness and warmth.

The call to turn from our idols to the living and true God is a daily call. The old, idol-gods will draw us back. We need to leave them over and over again. We need to turn again and again to the God who seeks to liberate us from their bondage.

I turn to you again today, God.
You are the Living and True God.
I leave my idol-gods again today.
I renounce the god-of-impossible expectations.
He is not God.
I renounce the god-who-is-eager-to-punish.
He is not God.
I renounce the god-who-keeps-his-distance.
He is not God.
I turn myself again today to you,
Living and True God.
I turn myself to you.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Mar 9, 2008

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I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father,
may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him
better.Ephesians 1:17
Paul kept asking God that his friends would be able to know God better.
He clearly did not think of the Christian life as a one-time event. This
text assumes that to become a Christian is to enter a lifetime process of
learning to see and know God better.
The two things needed for this process are wisdom and revelation. Wisdom
is something internal. During recovery the Spirit works within us to make
us wise. This involves weeding out all of the distorted ideas and distorted
thinking processes which supported our denial system. The Spirit is capable
of removing our 'stinking thinking' and making us wise. The second thing
we need in the recovery process is revelation. Revelation is external to
us - it is God's self-disclosure to us. Without an external frame of reference,
we are perfectly capable of creating a reality of our own choosing. Our
denial is capable of creating a comprehensive alternate reality with no
external checks or balances. During recovery, the Spirit works to reveal
to us what is true, what is real. As a result we gradually learn that there
is a reality beyond our pretense and denial.
The purposes of the Spirit's work is to help us grow in our capacity to
know God. The goal is not just knowing lots of facts about God. To know
a person is to share life with that person. It is a quest of the heart.
As our wounded hearts are changed, we will be empowered to know God better.

I need wisdom. Lord.
Help me to be wise.
I need revelation, Lord.
Show me.
Let me see.
Spirit of Wisdom
Spirit of Revelation
Fill my heart today
So that I may
know you better.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 3/10/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. . .and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.
Luke 2:12, 18

Some people think of God as a monster. Others think of God as the bully-in-the-sky. Others think of God as remote and abstract. These images come readily to us. We would not find it difficult to invent these gods. We are not amazed by them.

Like those who heard the shepherd's report, however, we stand amazed at the Christian Image. The image of a vulnerable God, a God-in-human-flesh, does not come readily to us. Who would have ever invented this God who comes as an infant? Who would have ever dared to think such a thing of God? But this is The Story, The Image. Christians have always insisted that the central drama of the history of this planet is centered on this God-who-comes-as-an-infant.

Things have not changed since the shepherds shared the amazing news. Being a Christian still involves staying open to the possibility that God will surprise us today. Just as God surprised the shepherds that day, so God may surprise us today.

Staying open to the possibility that God will surprise us with good things is not easy for people like us who find it easier to expect bad things. But God surprises us again and again with good things. The same God who came as a baby, wrapped up, lying in a feeding trough continues to surprise us.

What a surprise you are, God!
I expected monster, bully, distant abstraction.
What a surprise you are, Infant-God!
Help me this day to be open to your surprising grace.
Help me this day to be open to your surprising love.
Help me this day to hope in you.
Help me to allow my deep longings for you to awaken.
So that I will not miss your surprises.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Mar 11, 2008

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Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face
to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully
known.1 Corinthians 13:12

As we open ourselves to see and know God in new ways, we will need to guard
against using our relationship with God as a new arena for expressing our
perfectionism. We cannot now see God except in a 'poor reflection'. We cannot
perfectly know God. We are not yet face to face with God. We see partially.
We know partially. There is much that remains a mystery to us.


It is not easy for us to live with partial vision. It is difficult to tolerate
the ambiguities and unknowns. Sometimes the imperfections in our understanding
of God make us anxious. We feel that God expects more of us than that. We
feel that we should have answers to every conceivable question, that we
should never experience doubts, that we should have clarity at all times.



But this text makes it clear that 20:20 vision is not a realistic expectation
in our relationship with God. Perfection is not an option for us. Accepting
limits in our capacity to see and know God is part of getting to know God
better.


The list of things I don't understand goes on and on, Lord.
What I don't know makes me anxious.
I am afraid of my doubts.
I want to see and know you so well that I no longer experience doubt.
I want to understand things so thoroughly, that I no longer experience anxiety.
But I cannot see you face to face. I only see and know in part.
Help me, Lord,
to find a way to live with uncertainty,
with doubts,
with anxiety.
Help me to embrace what you have revealed of your love and goodness.
And to live in anticipation of one day knowing you more fully.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Mar 12, 2008

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Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet
been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies
himself, just as he is pure.1 John 3:2-3


Christians do not believe about life that 'what you see is what you get'.
Quite to the contrary, Christians believe that many things we cannot now
see are still part of God's plans for us. Some days we cannot see (or maybe
even imagine) what it would be like to be completely recovered. But we know
that this is God's plan for us. God is committed to our full recovery. As
this text puts it, God will not be done with us until we are 'like him'.
That is as 'recovered' as you can get.


The clarity of God's plan for us can give us hope. It may be a difficult
journey, but you can get somewhere from here. We can make it because God
is involved in the process of our transformation. This hope can give us
a kind of purity of purpose and vision. Because God is committed to our
full recovery, we are not alone with our hopes and dreams. Because God is
committed to our full recovery, we have a power greater than our own to
help with the struggle. Because God is committed to our full recovery, we
can find rest and courage in the purity of God's vision for us.


Because God is committed to our full recovery, we can let go of our pathetic
little idol gods and turn to the true and living God. When we worshipped
a god-of-impossible-expectations, we became driven and compulsive. When
we worshipped a god-who-abused, we became fearful and frozen. When we worshipped
a god-who-keeps-his-distance, we fought despair. As we begin to see God
as loving, we come to believe that we are lovable. As we begin to see that
God wants us to let go of our self-destructive behaviors in order to live
more fully, we come to believe that we are precious and valuable.


What I see, Lord,
is not always a very pretty picture.
I long for you to appear.
If you enter the picture, everything changes.
Seeing you changes everything
because I know that when I see you,
I am changed.
Seeing you transforms me.
Sink this hope deep within me, Lord.
Purify me with this hope.
Thank you.
Amen.


1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 3/13/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 11:19

God promises us a heart transplant. God promises to change us. Our stone hearts will be removed and in their place will be put a heart of flesh.

A heart of stone is a dead heart. It is closed to honest, intimate relationships. A heart of stone is unmerciful with itself and with others. But we do become attached to our hearts of stone. And we find ourselves fearing God's promised transplant. Our stone hearts have one thing in their favor - they allow us to feel strong and to appear strong to others. A stone heart is a protected heart. It seems invulnerable. You cannot wound a heart of stone.

God's offer of a heart transplant is a promise of life. A heart of flesh is alive. Only a flesh heart can feel joy. Only a flesh heart can celebrate. Only a heart of flesh can give and receive love. But, the vulnerability of a heart of flesh scares us. A flesh heart does not seem as well protected as a heart of stone. It can feel joy, but it can also feel pain. You can wound a heart of flesh.

God promises to change us. God will remove our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.

I like the safety of my stone heart, Lord.
But it is hard, cold, dead.
It is a heartless heart, bloodless, lifeless.
Remove it from me.
I want a heart of flesh, Lord.
I want life.
But I am afraid.
Give me the courage to say 'yes'
to your promise of life today.
Remove my heart of stone and
give me a heart of flesh.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 3/14/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

The Lord replied, 'My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.' Then Moses said to him, 'If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.'
Exodus 33:14-15

God promised to be with Moses and to provide him with rest. But no doubt other people had made promises to Moses that were like God's promise. People had promised to be with him but had later abandoned him. So, Moses' fears were not completely vanquished when God promised to be present and to provide rest.

We are like Moses. We are facing a difficult journey. If God goes on ahead and waits for us at the destination, we will never make it. We need God to make the journey with us. We will need God every day. If God does not come, it would better not to go. The dangers are too great. The pain, too overwhelming. We will surely lose our way unless God comes as our guide.

Moses' prayer to God is a good model for us. It is not a sign of doubt or faithlessness to pray for what we need, even if our needs are things which God has already promised to provide. Praying for what we need is good communication. If we are afraid that God will not be faithful, we can share this with God. God will not be shocked. God will not punish. God understands that our capacity for trust has been damaged.

Honestly communicating our fears to God, will build our capacity for trusting God's promises. God has promised to be present with us. And God has promised to provide rest. We will need both to survive the transitions and changes that come with recovery.

Thank you, Lord, for the promise of your presence today.
If you will not go with me,
please don't send me.
Because I can't make it on my own.
The journey is a difficult one.
The path leads through deep valleys.
And, I am sure to lose my way
without your presence to comfort and guide.
Help me to rest today in your promises.
Help me to rest in your loving presence.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 3/15/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will
not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10

Mountains shake. Hills are removed. That's how it feels sometimes during the process of recovery. Our lives seem to be in constant upheaval as we change and stretch and grow. In the midst of these changes, the Lord has compassion on us. God's love and commitment are reaffirmed. We may feel shaken. We may change. Things may look different. But we can count on God's love. It is unfailing love - love that cannot be shaken.

God's promise of unfailing love for us and God's covenant of peace with us can provide the safety we need today. In the storm of change that recovery brings, God's love provides an anchor of safety and security. God's love can provide a peace and serenity that will not be removed.

Lord, I am shaken.
down to my foundations.
Sometimes I am afraid
of all the changes.
Will anything remain?
Will there be enough left to build on?
I need a foundation for my life, Lord.

For your love, Lord,
love that cannot be shaken,
I give you thanks.
For your covenant of peace, Lord,
peace that will not be removed,
I give you thanks.
Help me to build on the foundation
of your love and peace
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, 3/16/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
Isaiah 54:4

Experiences of shame lead to fear. When shame causes us to be afraid we make extra efforts to protect ourselves against future experiences of shame. We try hard, for example, to look good. We focus on controlling external appearances. We also try hard to anesthetize our feelings because of our fear of shame. We focus on controlling our feelings so that other people won't get to know us. If they did they might discover the shame we are trying to hide. In this way shame traps us in a cycle of fear and emotional numbing and covering up.

But if we hide our shame, it can never be healed. Our shame heals when we reveal our inner being to people who accept us rather than shame us. This is not an easy process for us because we expect to be shamed. We do not expect to be accepted.

What a remarkably grace-full experience it is when God says "you don't need to be afraid, you will not suffer shame." We can open our hearts to God and find acceptance rather than shaming. God sees our fear. God knows that we want to run and hide. But it is God's desire to heal our deep wound of shame. "You don't have to be afraid," God says to us, "you will not suffer shame or disgrace or humiliation with me."

I have experienced so much shame, Lord.
So much disgrace.
So much humiliation.
Sometimes I want to hide myself from life.
And sometimes I want to numb myself to life.
Sometimes I want to disappear completely.

Thank you for your promise.
It calms my fears and helps me to stop hiding.
It helps me to stop covering up.
Thank you that I can open my heart to you and not suffer shame.
Thank you for the people in my life who accept me and do not shame me.
Protect me, Lord, from shame.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 3/17/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18

There are many ways to become an orphan. Some children become orphans when their parents die. Others become functional orphans when their parents divorce. Other people become orphans as a result of their parent's emotional unavailability. Anyone who has been neglected, abandoned, or abused by people who were important in their life will appreciate what it is like to be an orphan. It is a painful and lonely experience. Orphans doubt their ability to sustain intimate relationships and find it difficult to trust others. Experiences of abandonment leave us full of loneliness, fear and self-loathing.

Jesus understood the acute pain that orphans experience. In this text he responds to that deep pain with a promise of relationship. "I will not leave you as orphans," Jesus says, "I will not abandon you. You will not be without family because I will come to you."

In Jesus we see most clearly that God is attentive and available to us when we feel abandoned or neglected. God respects our needs and responds to our desires for relationship. God calls us out of the brokenness and dysfunction of our very personal orphanage into the community and fellowship of God's family. We are no longer orphans. We are God's children.

Lord, I know about being an orphan.
I know about abandonment.
Thank you for understanding my fear of separation.
Thank you for understanding my need for your presence.
Come.
Be present today with me.
I want to spend time with you.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 3/18/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4

There are times in recovery when we feel totally immobilized - times when we cannot 'walk' at all. In times like this, God promises to carry us. When we are weary or burdened or disabled, God will pick us up gently and carry us. There are also times of exhaustion during recovery - times when we can still move but we don't know where we will get the energy for the next step. When we are on long and difficult journeys that require endurance, God promises to sustain us. God will give us strength and patience and hope so that we can keep going. And there are times of great danger in recovery - times when the risks seem overwhelming. When we are in danger, trapped and overwhelmed, God promises to rescue us. God will pull us out of danger and bring us to a safe place.

God's promised help is attentive to and informed by our specific needs. God will not 'rescue' us when what we really need is strength to continue. God will not give us strength when what we really need is to be carried for a time.

Notice that God's promised help has no time limits. God is not going to grow weary and regret having made these promises. God will be with us today, and tomorrow, and each one-day-at-a-time day throughout our lives even to our 'old age and gray hairs'.

Thank you, Lord, for understanding
that I need different things
at different times.
Carry me when I cannot walk.
Sustain me when I need to endure.
Rescue me when I am in danger.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 3/19/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:2-4

Children are naturally curious about life. They look at everything, hear everything, want to know about everything. They are ready for growth and responsive to life. But, childhood dies for many people because of neglect, abuse and losses experienced during early vulnerable years. The eagerness and engagement are poisoned. The responsiveness to life yields to fear and shame.

It is possible, however, to reclaim a lost childhood. It is possible to change in ways that allow us to experience the wonder, the awe, the engagement in life that God intended for us in childhood.

God invites us to experience this kind of change. God invites us to become like little children. Children are humble - they have a straightforward honesty about their feelings and needs. This humility makes childlike awe and engagement in life possible. It is a vulnerable, humble thing to be a child. Children get tired and need naps. Children need other people. Children have more questions than answers.

Jesus invites us to change and become like little children. It is an invitation to true humility which leads to spontaneity, curiosity and engagement in life.

Lord, I want to reclaim
the wonder and delight of childhood.
I want to be eager to learn again.
I want to be ready to love and be loved again.
Give me, Lord, the security and safety I need
to be vulnerable and humble.
Help me to be ready for surprises.
Amen

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 3/20/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
Proverbs 15:32

None of us enjoy it when people point out that we need to change. We don't like being told that we have switched from one addiction to another. Or, that we are allowing someone's addiction to control our lives. Or that we are running from intimacy. Or that we are behaving in ways that are destructive to ourselves or to others. We don't like hearing these things.

But we need this kind of honesty. We are not 'wired' for honest self-assesment. At the first sight of a problem we experience shame. And our defenses go up. We put our hands over our ears and stop listening.

We need other people to keep us honest and to help us see what we cannot see about ourselves. Honest feedback is one of our best hopes for initiating change. As this text puts it, if we 'heed correction', we can gain a lot of understanding. So, it is good to pay attention to the 'correction' and 'discipline' we get from others. We are not helped, of course, by judgmentalism and shame - we have enough of that to last us a lifetime. But we need to cultivate relationships with people who will - with love and kindness - tell us the truth about ourselves. This information can be the starting point for change in our lives.

Lord, help me to build relationships that sustain honesty.
Give me friends who will love me enough to tell me the truth.
Help me to pay attention to correction.
Give me the courage to see myself clearly.
Keep me from shame and self-loathing.
Give me the openness to correction that makes change possible.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 3/21/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handled down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.
1 Peter 1:19

Change is not easy. It is a fierce battle. It can be difficult and discouraging.

Change often requires us to challenge the perspectives and rules which have sustained our family system for generations. The 'empty way of life' we are attempting to change was handed down from our parents and their parents before them and their parents before them. In a family committed to the 'don't talk' rule, for example, saying even a simple sentence may require overcoming distracting behaviors or other avoidance behaviors which have been refined over hundreds of years!. Talking honestly to a parent or sibling may be breaking family rules that have lasted for generations.

The Good News is that we have been redeemed from the empty way of life handed down by our forefathers. Jesus redeemed us so that we can be free from this kind of bondage. We can learn to talk honestly . We can learn to experience our emotions. We can learn to trust genuinely. We can engage in life. We can love and be loved.

We live in a battle between the empty way of life passed down to us and the new life that has been provided for us. Living in solidarity with our new life in Christ is a daily struggle, but as we practice this way of life we break the vicious cycle of family dysfunction.

Lord, it isn't just me that I am trying to change.
I am up against generations of dysfunction.
An empty way of life has dominated my family for a long time.
It has been passed down to me.
No wonder it seems so hard to change.
I need your help, Lord.
Help me to find hope in your understanding of my struggle.
Help me to find hope in your gift of redemption.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 3/22/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
2 Thessalonians 1:4

There is no magical formula for change. But there are some helpful principles.

First of all, change happens little by little. As this text puts it, our capacity for trust 'grows more and more' and our ability to love and to receive love 'increases'. These changes, like all of the most important changes in life, do not happen as a one-time event. An important change may require us to make a decision at a certain moment, it also requires a process that takes place over months and years.

Second, change is not a race. The change process can not be rushed. We often want to 'hurry it up', but we can't. Change that is real and long-lasting, requires patience and perseverance. When we have been practicing our dysfunctions for decades, we can expect that unlearning them will also take time.

Third, change requires that we practice the disciplines of honesty and fellowship. There is no recovery unless we find ways to move out of denial and isolation. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to share our struggles and victories with people who will 'always thank God for us' and who will encourage us, affirm us and hold us accountable.

Lord, I want my faith to grow.
I want my capacity for love to increase.
Little by little.
One day at a time.
That's what I need.
Help me to move out of denial,
And out of isolation.
Help me to do my part to make change possible in my life.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, 3/23/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Romans 8:24-25

Sometimes it feels like nothing is changing. We feel like we have lost our way -- and all hope of finding it again. Ironically we often experience this sense of being 'stuck' during periods that later seem most dynamic in terms of change. Perhaps when change is rapid we are so disoriented that we are unable to see it clearly. In times like this we may not be able to see that anything is changing. It may be hard to believe that all the hard work and effort are worth it. It is during these times we are most tempted to give up.

It is a general truth that we want change to take place faster than it does. We could more easily tolerate the pain of recovery, if only we could be assured that it would be quick.

But if we insist that change happen so rapidly that we can see it every day, then our capacity for hope will gradually diminish. If we insist that our recovery always have the drama and immediacy of miracle, then we will not build the deep-down kind of hope that we will need during the really tough times in life. Hope that you can 'see', Paul says, is not really hope at all. Real hope is what sustains us when we do not see change. Hope is the conviction that God has not given up on us. As long as God is committed to us, there is hope for change.

Sometimes I get stuck, Lord.
When that happens, I desperately want a miracle.
I want to change fast, very fast.
But that's not what I really need.
What I really need is you, Lord.
If you haven't given up,
then I'm not really stuck.
There is hope.
Renew my vision of you, Lord.
Help me to see again your hopefullness about me.
And your love for me.
And the joy you take in me.
Let this build again in me a capacity for hope.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 3/24/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19

Recovery involves a lot of hard work. Change and growth take effort. But we are not doing all the work ourselves. God is also at work. God is at our side in the process of healing.

Sometimes, of course, it seems like there is not much for God to work with. We see our diseases and disfunctions clearly and wonder how anything can be made out of this mess. But God is full of surprises. God can turn the most unlikely of events and experiences into opportunities to bring us new life and new hope.

Sometimes recovery seems like a desert wasteland, desolate, unproductive. We can't imagine that anything can grow here. The conditions are too hostile. It is into just such situations that God comes. In a trackless wilderness, God makes a way. In a parched wasteland, God causes a stream of water to spring up. It is a remarkable thing when God finds a path for us when we are completely lost. It is a remarkable thing when God provides nourishment for us in a wasteland. But God does, time and time again.

God is doing a new thing in us. It may be difficult for us to perceive at first. But little by little, day by day, new life and hope spring up. God can take the pathless wasteland of our lives and grow a garden there.

"Do you see it?" God asks "Can you see how it springs up? It will be a garden some day. It will yield a bountiful harvest."

I am not good at seeing it yet, Lord.
Will I bloom and grow?
Will my desert wasteland see a harvest?
Is there a path for me in this wilderness, Lord.
Are there streams of water here?
Surprise me, Lord.
And change me.
Give me the courage, hope and trust
to change a little today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 3/25/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.
John 8:7

It is easy to judge other people. Judgmentalism and blame come naturally to us. Other people's faults and failures are not difficult to identify. Many of us can remember a time in our lives when throwing the first stone was not just easy - it was what we thought good Christians were supposed to do.

One of the most dramatic changes which takes place early in the recovery process is an increase in self-awareness. We begin to see patterns in our own lives that need changing. We see our own self destructive tendencies. We see how we have brought pain to others. As these insights dawn on us, we begin to lay down our stones.

Of course, as our self-awareness increases, many of us attempt to refocus the blame and judgmentalism from others onto ourselves. We can blame and judge ourselves as ruthlessly as we may once have blamed and judged others. But it's not really progress in recovery to give up throwing stones. . and then start banging our heads against a stone wall.

Judgmentalism and blame are not helpful in recovery. What makes recovery possible is when increased self-awareness leads to an increased capacity to experience forgiveness. Gradually we learn to accept forgiveness from God and others. We receive mercy. As a result, we begin to treat ourselves and others with mercy.

It is increased self-awareness and the humility which self-awareness makes possible that are the soil in which true community can grow. When we accept ourselves as humans even though we struggle and sometimes fail, we can become far more gentle with ourselves and with others.

Lord, you know how quick I have been to throw stones.
Thank you for the self awareness that has allowed me to see more clearly that
I am not without sin.
I know that I am in need of forgiveness.
Give me the courage to accept your forgiveness and mercy
and in this way begin to live in true community
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 3/26/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Listen carefully to my words, let this be the consolation you give me.
Job 21:1

Listening should be easy. But it is not. At a minimum, listening means that we have to be quiet. We cannot listen when we are talking. Not talking is the hard part. There are many reasons for this. We prefer talking over listening because it gives us a sense of control. We can control the silences between words by choosing when to talk. Since silences of even a few seconds can cause our anxiety to increase, we fill the silence with words even when we really have nothing to say.

It is a remarkable experience to have someone really listen -- to have someone's undivided attention and interest. When someone listens, they communicate to us on a very deep level that we are valuable. Their listening breaks our isolation and aloneness. And it decreases the fears which come when our thoughts and feelings are confused. Talking out loud in the presence of a person who listens carefully allows us to gain clarity and perspective. Gradually, being listened to can begin to convince us that we are worth someone's attention and worth being loved.

When someone listens with respect and acceptance we are comforted and consoled. Our pain is soothed. Our burden is lightened.

Thank you, Lord, for those who listen to me.
And thank you for the people who
trust me enough to allow me to listen to them.
Give me the courage to talk honestly.
Give me the grace to listen well.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 3/27/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

In your anger, do not sin.
Ephesians 4:26

Living in relationship with other people means that we will experience seasons of anger. Anger is a normal human emotion. It is an unavoidable ingredient of any fellowship.

Unfortunately, for most of us, anger is a problem. We know that anger can lead to destructive behaviors. Some of us have been on the receiving end of verbal and physical attacks from an angry person. And some of us have lashed out at others with our anger. So we fear anger because we have seen the destruction which results when anger leads to sin. We have seen how anger can damage relationships and lead to loneliness.

But anger does not have to be destructive. We can be angry without harming others. Anger can, in fact, be a constructive force in our lives. Anger alerts us to the fact that something is not right. As a result, anger can protect us and energize us to take constructive action.

The fellowship we need in recovery cannot always be conflict-free fellowship. There will be times of anger. And that can be a good thing.

I am afraid of anger, Lord.
But I know it can't be avoided.
Help me to acknowledge my anger
rather than hide from it.
Help me to use it in ways that are not destructive.
Let it energize me to risk and change and grow.
Help me to learn to live constructively with my anger
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 3/28/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23-24

The process of recovery increases our awareness of the ways we have hurt other people. For many of us this realization leads almost instaneously to shame. And shame leads almost immediately to increasingly desperate attempts to be perfect in order to mask the feeling that we are fundamentally flawed. The downward cycle of failure-shame-trying harder-failure will gradually immobilize us as our self-contempt and depression increase.

In this text Jesus invites us to give up on trying harder. He suggests a completely different and very practical way of dealing with failure. Notice that Jesus assumes that living in community will lead to the need for making amends. The assumption is that we will not be perfect. We can expect to fail from time to time. Failure need not lead to shame or perfectionism because failure is normal. We all experience it. Accepting this basic reality is the first step in the process toward a healthy response to failure.

Jesus suggests that awareness of our failure doesn't have to lead to trying harder. It can lead to honesty and making amends. We are to speak directly about the problem, ask for forgiveness, make amends as appropriate, and be reconciled if possible.

I fail, Lord.
And then I am ashamed of my failure.
And then I work twice as hard not to fail.
And then I fail again. Lord.
And then I become even more ashamed of my failure.
And then I work ten times as hard not to fail.
And then I fail again..
Help!
Free me from the cycle of failure-shame-perfectionism.
Give me the courage to ask for forgiveness and to make amends.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 3/29/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22

A friend recently said, "The day my mother told me to lie about Dad's abusive behavior is the day I decided once and for all that no one will ever take care of me but me."

Many of us made decisions like this early in life. For one reason or another we reached the conclusion that it was not safe to need others. One of the longest-lasting effects of abuse and neglect is this kind of ruthless independence.

Unfortunately, because we may not have experienced appropriate care, we have not learned how to do a good job of taking care of ourselves. We are harsh with ourselves. And we have huge blind spots. We keep falling into the same ruts and traps.

The toxic individualism that comes from abuse and neglect is an illusion. We are needy. We need others to help us and support us. We cannot live whole, healthy lives in isolation. We need other people. We need their counsel and their honest feedback. Success is more likely when we work interdependently. We need love and acceptance. We need listening ears. We need to be held accountable. We need encouragement and support from other people. And others need all these things from us as well.

It may seem like a risk to allow ourselves to need anything from anyone. But it is a risk worth taking again and again and again. It is appropriate to be cautious and wise about the risks we take in relationships. But risks cannot be avoided. Mutual relationships of love and care are the basis for all real joy in life. They are worth the struggle and hard work.

Lord, you know the fear I experience
when I allow myself to receive good things from other people.
You know how hard it is for me to let myself need people.
And you know I struggle to believe I have anything to give to others.
So interdependence is difficult.
Help me, Lord, to give and to receive.
Give me the courage to risk love.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, 3/30/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
I Corinthians 13:3

We need to experience loving relationships in order to heal and grow. In loving relationships we experience the safety that allows us to face the truth. In loving relationships we experience the support we need to begin to change. And in loving relationships we learn that we are lovable and valuable.

Because we have been wounded in relationships, our instinct is often to run from relationships. We don't want to be hurt again. This leaves an enormous void in our souls. And it is this void which we desperately try to fill with addictions and compulsions of various kinds. This text focuses on two manifestations of religious addiction (compulsive altruism and religiously motivated self-abuse) and sums up the result: I gain nothing. The same could be said of all of our addictions. "I deliver my body to be burned" and "I gain nothing" are an accurate description not only of a particular kind of religious addiction but also of chemial addiction, work addiction, sexual addiction and relationship addiction, as well as many self-abusive compulsions.

We gain nothing for all the time and effort we spend on trying to numb the pain. It does not achieve the desired result. The void remains.

Although loving fellowship may be frightening for us, it is the path to recovery. The vulnerabilities of intimacy may remind us of earlier times of terror in life, but there is no way to recover in isolation. The net result of compulsions and addictions is "I gain nothing." But the net result of recovery is very different. There is something to be gained by all the hard work that recovery requires. Recovery builds in us a capacity to receive love and a capacity to give love to others. And that is a real gain.

May God grant you the courage you need today to pursue loving fellowship.

Lord, you see my guarded heart.
You see the fears that make me run from love.
What I fear is what I want most.
I want to love and to be loved.
Give me courage to open my heart to love today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 3/31/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Then they led him away to crucify him.
Matthew 27:31

There are days when we find it difficult, if not impossible, to sustain hope. The day of Jesus' death was such a day. It was a day of despair for all who had put their hope in him. It was a day of unbearable grief for those who had been changed by his love. In such terrible moments hope disappears. Darkness seems to be all that remains. God seems absent.

It is, however, one of the most fundamental convictions of the Christian faith that, in those times when hope seems unattainable, God is at work. In that moment when even Jesus had a difficult time sustaining hope in God's redemptive purposes, God was fighting the decisive battle which would extend the rule of the Kingdom to all peoples. In that moment of terror, the foundations of reality were exposed and God was at work on the deep structures of the world. God could do work at that moment which would have been impossible during ordinary times.

Much the same is true of our moments of hopelessness. It is when hope grows weakest that our foundations are most exposed. It is when the struggle to sustain hope is most difficult that God can work on the deep structure of our persons. It is at those times that God can reach the unreachable crevices of our hearts and work on regions where fear and despair seem to reign.

It is a terrible thing to lose hope. But all is not lost. Though we lose hope, God is still at work. It may be that during our season of hopelessness God will extend the rule of the Kingdom of God into new regions of our lives.

In those times when I cannot hope, Lord,
help me to remember the work which
you accomplished during Jesus' hour of darkness.
Remind me, when I lose all hope,
that all hope is not gone
because you continue your work in me.
Extend the rule of your kingdom
into the deepest regions of my heart
where fear and despair have reigned for too long.
Amen

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 4/1/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

. . . the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death
to guide our feet into the path of peace
Luke 1:78-79

Many of us grew up expecting bad things. Some of us learned to expect physical abuse. As a result we may find ourselves covering our heads to ward off a blow when someone is offering a hug. Others of us learned to expect to be neglected. As a result we may experience confusion or fear when someone shows an interest in getting to know us. Expectations which are formed early in life are difficult for us to change. It is not an easy thing to allow ourselves to hope when our hopes have been disappointed over and over again in the past.

Learning to hope, however, means opening ourselves to the possibility that the future may be different from what we have known in the past. To hope is to allow ourselves to anticipate the possibility of good things. Hope is the expectation of good. It is the ability to look for the rising of the sun, while sitting in the predawn darkness.

Our hope for the future is rooted in a conviction about God's character. It is because of God's tender mercies that we find it possible to hope. Because of God's character -- tender and full of mercy -- the sun will rise. We can anticipate good things because God is a good and loving God.
=

I know what it is like to live in darkness, Lord.
My house has been built in the shadow of death.
God of mercy, heal me.
God of tenderness, give light.
Build in me a capacity for hope.
Rise on my darkness, Lord.
Guide my feet out of the paths of fear
and into the path of peace.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 4/2/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
Psalm 77:11-12

Sometimes hope fails us because of the pain of present circumstances. The intensity of the daily struggle can overwhelm us and crowd out hope for the future. We find ourselves unable to focus on a hope-full future because we cannot see beyond the burdens of the present. But we need hope in order to continue the journey. Without it we cannot go on. Without hope there is only the despair that comes when we think nothing will ever change.

Reviewing our experiences of God's help in the past is one way of nurturing hope. When present events crowd out hope, leaving despair and fear, we can turn to the disciplines of remembering. It can sustain our faith and renew our determination to continue the journey.

Remembering is not an easy discipline for us. Our memory is not good. Even miracles seem to age quickly - they become 'miracles of long ago'. Things that seemed unimaginably wonderful at the time can quickly fade in our memory as present concerns demand our attention. Dramatic breakthroughs in recovery that seemed to be powerful signs of God's grace and presence may seem painfully ordinary after a few months. For this reason it may be necessary to find someone to help us with the discipline of remembering. Hope can often be renewed by asking a trusted friend to remind us where we have been. An objective review of the journey to this point helps us see God's sustaining grace in our lives. And that gives us the hope to go on.

Lord, help me to remember the specific ways
you have sustained me in the past.
Help me to remember how I have changed.
Help me to remember your love and grace
so that I can grow in my capacity for hope today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 4/3/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Hope gives us strength. We need strength for the journey of recovery. We need strength to make the changes that need to be made -- and strength to grieve the losses which come with change. We need strength to keep on keeping on. Recovery requires a great deal of physical, emotional and spiritual strength. We draw that strength day-to-day from hope.

There are times when hope will allow us to soar. We will feel the exhilaration of change and new freedom. We will think about the future and imagine good things. We will soar with gratitude and joy because of hope.

There are other times when hope will allow us to run and not grow weary. We will keep going. Keep changing. Keep working. Keep feeling. We may get tired but hope will keep us from getting weary and wanting to give up. Hope helps us to keep running.

There are other times when hope will allow us to walk without fainting. Some days, in our recovery journey, continuing the journey at all is very difficult. The struggle we face may be so intense that we would faint if it were not for hope. But hope helps us to take the next step. One slow step at a time. Step by step, without fainting.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of hope.
Thank you for the days when hope
allows me to soar.
And for the days when it
allows me to keep running.
And thank you for the days when hope
gives me the courage to walk
without fainting.
Thank you for hope.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 4/4/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Hope is about the future. It may be oriented to the next hour, or the next day, or the next month or year or decade. But hope is always about anticipation.

Those of us who like to control things often find hope difficult because we do not control the future. Many of us are compulsive makers-of-plans. We are willing to work ourselves to death trying to make our plans become reality. But when our hopes and vision for the future are based only on what we can control, our vision is inevitably narrowed and impoverished.

We need to remind ourselves regularly, therefore, that God's vision for the future is better than our own. God sees possibilities and opportunities that we cannot see. The horizons of God's imagination are not bounded. When we root our hope in God, a totally different future is possible. It is not a future we can control. God's plans may not be the same as our plans. But we can return again and again to God as our source of hope.

God has been clear about our future. It is God's intention to give us a hope and a future. This is not a promise of a trouble-free life. It is not a promise of immunity from struggle. But it is a promise of hope. God has been with us in the past. God is with us in the present. And God will be with us in the future.

Thank you for paying attention to my future, Lord.
Thank you for making plans.
Help me today to rest in the thought that
your plans for me include blessing.
Open my heart today to the hope and the future
you have prepared for me.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 4/5/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

Hope does not usually come as the just reward for our hard work and struggle. It comes as a gift. The experience of hope is very much like the experience of receiving a surprise gift that is perfectly suited to our needs. A really good gift is one that fits perfectly both the giver and the receiver. Hope fits our needs perfectly. But if a gift is out of character with the giver, then it may be difficult for the receiver to accept without reservations. Fortunately, hope is just the kind of gift that fits God's character. It is a perfect fit for God. The God of Hope loves to give hope.

We need to remind ourselves daily that we do not serve the god-of-relentless-cheerfulness, or the god-of-naivete, or the god-of-blind-optimism. We serve the God of Hope. God is hope-full and loves to share his hope-full-ness with us. We can come to God with our fear, doubt and despair and God will give good gifts to us. When all other reasons for hope fail us, we can return to the God of Hope because God is greater than our disappointment, greater than our failure, greater than the problems and conflicts in our hearts and our homes and our communities and our world.

Surprise me today, Lord.
Surprise me with hope.
Open my eyes to see you clearly.
Help me to see your hope-full-ness.
By the power of the Holy Spirit,
cause me to overflow with hope.
Amen

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, 4/6/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners."'
Luke 7:33-34

One of the accusations made by the religious leaders of Jesus' day was that he partied with undesirables. It was unacceptable in their minds to associate in any way with undesirables. That would make you 'unclean'. But it was particularly unacceptable to party with undesirables. Then, as now, religion was thought to be very serious business, much too serious for the kind of celebrations that Jesus enjoyed. Religion was supposed to be about intellectual abstractions and theological detail - not about going to dinner parties with unsavory characters.

In his teachings Jesus draws extensively on the Old Testament themes of the Sabbath, the Jubilee and the messianic feast to make a point. Jesus told many stories about God's love for celebration. When the lost is found, the finder throws a feast. When the prodigal returns, the father has a party. When a single person repents, the angels rejoice. And on and on. Jesus, the man of sorrows, was also a man of celebration and joy.

Like the religious leaders of Jesus' day, we may sometimes find ourselves resistant to joy. We may resist joy because we fear disappointment. Or we may resist joy because it doesn't seen congruent with being a serious minded person of faith. We may resist joy because we have been shamed or even punished for being overly enthusiastic as a child.

It is a risk to make room for joy in our lives. Joy requires that we be open to the possibility of experiencing conflicting emotions. If we wait to experience joy until our anger, grief and self-condemnation are completely gone, then we will wait a long time. But it is possible to experience joy without denying or avoiding other more painful emotions. We can follow Jesus' example of joy today. When joy comes, we can receive it. It is a good gift from God.

Lord of joy,
Lord of celebration,
Open my heart to the possibility of joy today.
Help me to tolerate the confusion that comes when sorrow and joy
live side by side in my heart.
Give me the courage to
joyfully celebrate life.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 4/7/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

O lord, you turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
Psalm 30:11,12

Sometimes it can seem that all there is to life is grief. We face painful realities and allow ourselves to feel the painful feelings. But grief is only for a season. There will come a season for joy. In fact one of the most surprising things about the recovery process is that as we grow in our capacity for experiencing deep emotional pain we also enlarge our capacity for experiencing joy. Recovery is not just about learning to experience unpleasant emotions. It is about learning to feel the full range of life's emotions.

Imagine for a moment that you are 'clothed' in grief. God grieves with you. It is a time for wailing. Few words pass between you. But there is a great deal of emotion. Then, one day God brings you a new set of clothes. They are the clothes of joy. The time comes to change clothes. Your heart begins to sing. The time of wailing is over. The time for dancing has come.

Who can say how long this will take? It certainly cannot be rushed. But God is prepared to be with us through the whole process. God understands joy. God clothes us with joy and teaches us to dance and sing.

For teaching me to dance, Lord,
I give you thanks.
You are a good teacher.
My heart dances before you, Lord.
Your goodness endures forever.

For teaching me to sing, Lord,
I am grateful.
You are a good teacher.
My heart sings to you, Lord.
Your goodness endures forever.

Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 4/8/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame
Hebrews 12:2

Shame does not coexist comfortably with joy. Experiences of shame eat away at the spiritual and emotional foundations on which joy is built. When we are consumed by shame, joy will keep its distance. But shame has a way of getting to us. Our defenses against the clever tactics of shame are not well developed.

Jesus is a powerful example to us of how to resist shame and make room for joy. First, Jesus 'scorned' shame. He did not give it a stature which it did not deserve. Experiences of shame did not define who he was. He was not just the sum of the shame he had experienced in life. His identity and person were securely rooted in God. So, he was able to experience shaming experiences without internalizing the shame.

Secondly, Jesus had 'joy set before him'. Experiences of shame hurt us. Shame is always hurtful. But we are not entirely defenseless. Jesus drew strength to endure shame from the anticipation of joy. Shame can be better endured if we allow ourselves to remember that God has plans for us that include joy. We are not aimlessly adrift in life, headed nowhere, wanderers in a meaningless maze. On the contrary, every day takes us closer to the fulfillment of God's purposes. Justice and righteousness will reign in the end. Jesus' followers share his conviction that joy, not shame, is God's purpose in creation.

Today we can root ourselves in God's love for us. We can scorn the shame. We can remind ourselves that God's plans for us include joy.

Help me to scorn shame, Lord.
Help me to root myself so completely in you
that shame has no power over me.
Help me to see the joy you have set before me, Lord.
Remind me today of your plans.
Help me to draw strength today
from the hope that your plans for me include joy.
Amen

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, 4/9/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Psalm 103:1

There comes a time in the process of recovery when we find ourselves seeing life in an entirely different way. Along with the pain, we sense with increased clarity that life is fundamentally a good gift from God. This is the experience of gratitude. Gratitude is a kind of participation in and response to God's grace. Without it, recovery would be a cheerless, and probably impossible journey.

The experience of gratitude is a response of our inmost being to God's grace. When gratitude breaks through, we are able to stop our frantic efforts to earn our way through life. In these moments of calm we see that our inmost being belongs to God. We are God's creation. Sometimes that is all we need. Other times this thought that we are God's creation is so far beyond all we could ever have asked, hoped or dreamed for, that our heart fills with praise and joy.

It is difficult to explain how, or why, or when gratitude comes. Sometimes we try to force gratitude on ourselves. Sometimes other people try to force it on us. But it cannot be coerced. It will not come from pretending. It will not come from telling ourselves that some people are worse off than we are. But it does come. And, when it comes, it breaks through our pain and surprises us with joy.

We cannot insist on gratitude today. But we can remind ourselves that we are God's creation. And we can wait for a new awareness of God's grace to surprise us with joy.

Give me a capacity for gratitude today, Lord.
Break through the clouds of pain in my life.
Surprise me with joy.
Fill my soul, my inmost being, with gratitude for life
and with praise to you.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Thursday, 4/10/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
Luke 15:8

God rejoices when we turn away from our self-destructive way of life toward a grace-full way of life. God rejoices.

The process of recovery begins when we are able by God's grace to recognize that our efforts to be God -- to control, to make things perfect -- have failed. When this happens we are able to face clearly the behaviors which have been destructive to ourselves and others. We can then turn from our sin to God. Even when this process involves a long search, God rejoices when we are found.

When a child is born, it is a joyful event. Functional parents prize the child. They hold the child and talk to the child and marvel over the child. The infant does not yet contribute much to the world. It comes as a bundle of needs. But the infant brings joy simply by being.

God is our Good Father. God prizes our existence in the world. God desires to have a relationship with us. Even when we are a bundle of needs and not yet able to contribute much to the world, God rejoices over us. When we are restored, reconciled, found, it brings God joy.

God rejoices over you. God experiences joy when you are found. God throws a party when your relationship is re-established. God finds joy in you.

Lord, help me to take it in.
I can't image myself as the object of your joy.
Help me to see that you find joy in me.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Friday, 4/11/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

Remain in my love. . . I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
John 15:10-11

It is sometimes difficult to imagine joy at all. When we struggle with failure, or we are faced with our need for change or we are grieving old losses - in those times joy seems unimaginable.

But joy can come in the midst of these struggles as we learn what it means to remain in Jesus' love.

We do not have to grieve or change alone. We learn early in recovery that we will not get very far if we remain isolated. We also learn early that we need to turn to a power that is greater than ourselves. To recover we need to learn to remain -- or abide or spend time -- in the love Jesus gives us. We are loved by God. And we are loved by other people. It is in these loving relationships that we find joy.

In John 15 Jesus has been describing himself as the vine, telling us that we are branches. He is our life-line. We need to stay closely connected to him. We can no longer pretend to be self sufficient. We must daily acknowledge our need for help and relatedness.

Jesus told us this truth because he wanted us to experience joy. "Remain in my love", Jesus said, "so your joy will be complete."

Lord, help me to remain in love.
Help me not to distance myself from you or from others.
Help me to give up pretending to be self sufficient.
Help me to remember that it is in loving and in being loved
that I will find healing and joy.
Amen`

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Saturday, 4/12/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust".
Psalm 91:1-2

Imagine yourself traveling across a desert in the heat of the afternoon sun. You are desperate for a place to rest. You need shelter from the heat. You search the horizon for a tree or a large rock that could provide the comfort of shade.

During the process of recovery we become aware of our need for a sheltered place in which to rest. The journey can be exhausting and disorienting. But we don't know how to rest. It doesn't come naturally to us. We don't know where to find a safe shelter.

Now imagine yourself resting in God's shadow. You are sheltered, safe, at rest. The heat of the desert will not consume you because of God's protection. You can sit and rest in God's loving presence. God is a shade, a shelter, a fortress. You can draw strength and comfort from God's presence.

Rest has the potential of teaching us two essential truths. First, we are not God. God is God. We are creatures. We are limited, finite, dependent. It is a good thing to be a creature with needs. Second, when we rest we may learn in new ways that we are loved. Because we are God's children, God loves us. Not because of what we do, but simply because of who we are, we are loved.

I turn to you, Lord
from the heat of the sun
and the pressures of the journey of life.
I turn to you
for shelter
and refuge.
I want to rest in you today.
Be my shelter
O Most High.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Apr 13, 2008

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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give
you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is
easy and my burden is light."Matthew 11:28-30

God desires to give us rest. But we resist this gift. No matter how
badly we may want to rest, it is not an easy gift to receive. We may be
weary. We may be burdened. But we are good at minimizing and avoiding
our needs. As soon as we get this next task done, then we will rest. As
soon as there's time for it, then we will rest. We want to rest, but we
have to work real hard to make time for resting and then when we're back
at work we will need to work real hard to make up for the 'lost' time.

While we resist the gift of rest, many of us welcome burdens. We find
it easier to believe that burdens are the gift God really wants to give
us. We will welcome a difficult mission from God, a task, a challenge.
We welcome the opportunity to wear ourselves out in ministry.

But the heavy burdens, the weariness are not God's plan for us. God's
burden is light. God's plan for us is not exhaustion but soul rest. God
wants us to be so rested that it sinks down to the foundations of our person.
God wants us to be rested down to our souls. In rest we find that many
of the burdens of life do not belong to us. We find the freedom to give
back to God those things over which we have no control.

Give me the courage to come and receive from you, Lord.
Burdens weigh heavy on my soul.
Give me the courage to come and receive from you, Lord.
My restless soul longs for you.
Give me the courage to come and receive from you, Lord.
Replace these burdens with your rest.
Share with me your easy yoke
so that I can find rest for my soul.
Amen

1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 4/14/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest . . .let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:9-11,16

God rested from his work.

And God invites us to rest from ours. In our time of need God invites us to experience the rest-full-ness that comes from receiving mercy and grace.

But we resist. Rest is such a reversal of our expectations. We don't expect mercy and grace. We expect criticism. We don't expect to be invited to approach with confidence; we expect rejection. We don't expect rest, we expect to receive a list of demanding tasks to perform. Becoming the kind of people who are capable of rest will require us to change. It will require effort on our part.

First, we will need to change the way we see ourselves. We are attached to the illusion that we have no limits. We may not claim to be immortal, but if you examine our behavior, we act as if we need less rest than God. God rested. We don't. Clearly something is wrong. If we are to become the kind of people who are capable of rest, it will take some effort to change the way we see ourselves.

Second, to increase our capacity for rest, we will need to change our behavior. Rest is not an idea. It is a behavior. It will take some effort to change the way we live. We will need to learn the skills that make it possible for us to say no to over commitment. We will need to build rest into the rhythm of our lives.

God rested. We need to do the same.

Help me to acknowledge my need for rest, Lord.
Help me to make quiet spaces in my life
when I cease all my doing
and allow myself to be.
Help me to make the effort to rest today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 4/15/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
>Mark 2:27

The Sabbath is a day of rest. It is a day to stop working, to reflect, to remember, to celebrate. It is a day for quietness and a day for worship. God's concerns about the Sabbath do not come from a desire to control us. Jesus made it clear that Sabbath-keeping was not meant to be one more compulsion, one more "should", one more obligation. God does not ask us to rest because he wants to create one more burden for us.

Rest for people is like oil changes for internal combustion engines. A lot of careful engineering goes into the manufacturer's recommendations about oil changes. Maybe we can put it off for a while, but we can't put it off forever. The engine will stop working. Irreversible damage will be done. The manufacturer does not recommend oil changes because it has a vested interest in selling lots of oil. The manufacturer knows what the engine needs and wants it to run for us without breaking down.

God wants our experience with life to be a positive one. And God knows what we need for this to happen. God knows we can put off rest for a while, but we can not put it off forever. We will stop functioning. We will do irreversible damage.

Many of us have a history of taking days of rest and making them the most rest-less days of the week. We have an amazing ability to fill a day of rest with non-stop activity. But expressing our compulsivity in leisure activities is not the same thing as rest. It will take some creativity and discipline for us to find ways to keep the Sabbath that work for us. But that's what God wants. God wants Sabbath to be 'for' us. The Sabbath is God's gracious provision for us.

Help me not to become compulsive about rest, Lord.
I am compulsive about so many other things.
Spare me from adding this to my long list of things to do.
You offer me rest, Lord,
because you love me.
Let me, out of a growing love for you and for myself
allow myself to rest today.
Amen.

[admin]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Apr 16, 2008

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