Big Girl Panties
09-03-2007, 08:26 PM
I have found that when I was finally ready to let go of the man whose addiction had ruled us both, it came only after a world of painful hanging on.
A woman in al-anon, whose husband has been sober 30+ years always felt the need to say "just let go already"...and her words were so hurtful because I was trying to let go, I wanted to let go, but I dont have the strength to control my addition anymore than the alcoholic does. She made it seems as if all I had to do was push the "let him go" button and VOILA!....its done and over.
She has forgotten what its like to live with REAL LIVE ACTIVE addition. She forgets what it was like...she lives in "He;s sober, so everything is alright"world. I know....I lived there when my husband was sober.
Today, I find that no amount of anyone ordering me to just let go with make my detachment come any faster. It will only come after continously self-inflicting mass amounts of humiliation, degradation and stripping of self......
and not one minute before.
Just for today, I have let go....and boy, DOES IT FEEL FRIGGING AWESOME!!!:29::D:29:
A woman in al-anon, whose husband has been sober 30+ years always felt the need to say "just let go already"...and her words were so hurtful because I was trying to let go, I wanted to let go, but I dont have the strength to control my addition anymore than the alcoholic does. She made it seems as if all I had to do was push the "let him go" button and VOILA!....its done and over.
She has forgotten what its like to live with REAL LIVE ACTIVE addition. She forgets what it was like...she lives in "He;s sober, so everything is alright"world. I know....I lived there when my husband was sober.
Today, I find that no amount of anyone ordering me to just let go with make my detachment come any faster. It will only come after continously self-inflicting mass amounts of humiliation, degradation and stripping of self......
and not one minute before.
Just for today, I have let go....and boy, DOES IT FEEL FRIGGING AWESOME!!!:29::D:29: