Attraction rather than Promotion

[Chaz]

We are all likely familiar with Tradition 11 from AA or NA:

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

The "attraction rather than promotion" part of the tradition was made clear to me by a long-timer in my NA homegroup. He and I were mutually uncomfortable with the type of sharing we continually heard from one particular member of our group. It contained a lot of "you need to"s and war stories about how bad a dude he was and what and how much he used, etc.

Through discussion, we realized that what we were uncomfortable with is that there was nothing "attrative" about his message. We experienced his message as very much a "promotion". An not even so much of the program, but of himself. I am not trying to be critical here.... this guy was just at where he was at and he had managed to put 12 years together clean and sober.

So he and I asked ourselves what it was that kept us coming back to the rooms and to our programs. We concluded it was that we were attracted to what we saw and experienced. The attraction drew us in, rather than promotion roping us in. To me there is an important distinction.

The best restaruant in my city does not advertise. Yet, people line up on Friday and Saturday nights to eat there. Attraction to the quisine and atmosphere did far more to help people experience the place than did promotion.

To me, there is yet a further reason that attraction is preferred over promotion in our traditions. Can you imagine the average alcoholic or addict...who... like me.... is prone to wanting on a deep level to control people, places, and things, .... being given the duty to go out and promote what we have?

For me, I would probably promote myself right into a relapse. If a newcomer was given marching orders or allowed on his own volition to go out and promote.... it may very well take away from those all-important first 90 days or 6 months, or whatever time frame is needed for him as an individual recovering person to break the old patterns and stop using/drinking.

Can you imagine the number of personal agenda that would compete in a meeting or homegroup if we were all given the green-light to promote our group and program?

For this reason... I believe that attraction became the preferred method of growing our fellowship because it requires us to focus on our own recovery and the genuineness of our growth. So many of us have been big talkers and small do-ers. The results of doing are what I believe attract most people to the program. Talking and promotion may not ever be backed up with the genuine article.

Attraction is more to do with the attractee seeking based on his interest in what he discovers, observes or experiences. Promotion is more to do with attractor engaging in efforts to be noticed or to actively influence others toward what he believes the attractee should see, feel, experience. The latter sounds kinda dangerous in the hands of many alcoholics I know!

Attraction, I believe, is why in most major cities, there are hundreds of meetings every day. Available at many hours of the day. Run and organized by non-paid members with limited opportunities for rank, titles, or positions. With only word of mouth publicity and perhaps a small, simple meeting list printed in plain, simple fonts.

With all due respect, many churches have huge advertising budgets for TV and newspaper to get people in their doors. My home group actually meets in a church hall and many times our AA meeting runs out of room to put all of the attendees attracted to the meeting.

My attraction to my program keeps me in it. If someone tried to promote it to me, I believe I would get turned off. I have to see it, not hear about it. And I have seen it... and am attracted to what I see. And as it works for me, maybe someone else will be attracted to what I have.

Thats my take on Attraction versus Promotion.

Ciao.

Chaz

[craig]

Chaz, Your article speaking on "attraction rather than promotion" kept me thoroughly interested and wasm highly informative. However, a point of contention, I believe it is misleading when one mentions "my attraction to my program",it is not my program,it is the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Love, brother Craig

[Chaz]

Craig... thanks.... I can see your point on "my" versus "the". Frankly, I use these somewhat interchangeably and don't really mean much by the distinction. I am ok with referring to "my" program because I feel I need to take ownership of my involvement in "the" program overall.... that is really what I am referring to by "my".

Yet, I get your point... it does not belong exclusively to any of us and the fact that it exists outside and independent of any one of us is one of the reasons ito works. So no biggy... thanks.

Chaz.

[clean42day]

I would rather "SEE" a sermon in action rather than Hear one any day......I believe the best way I can attract people to the program is in HOW I live my life by an example of the principals in action in and out of the rooms - not by how I say I live it. Actions speak louder than words. and It took me a incredibly long time to get my words to match my actions if you know what I mean.

I also believe part of the reason for the protection of anonymity part in:

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

it has become the norm in our pop-culture in America to dig up dirt on people - weather they be celebrities, politicians, or just the average "nobody" in the neighborhood to promote ratings for newscasts and shows that sensationalize just about anything negative at the level of press, radio, and films. I can see if people were allowed to promote themselves as recovered alcoholics publically - it would open a whole "shark fest" for the ones who were not able to maintain thier sobriety to discredit the AA movement and give the whole 12 step fellowships a bad rap. The whole spiritual movement would be lost and the meaning of progress not perfection would simply be overlooked in favor of focusing on the statistical number of people that relapse.

Did you know that in the world of academia it has become standard proceedure for psychology students and anyone going into the field of chemical dependency to attend our open meetings coverty and then write case analysis papers for thier classes? Much statistical information has been gathered and published in Journals without our permission that don't necessarily shine a spiritual light on our fellowships but rather a scientific one - and on paper the statistics sure don't look very good - and they don't capture the actual "spirit of fellowship" aspect but rather the cultish one.

Yes the discrediting has already begun without any regard for our 11 tradition of anonymity, or attraction versus promotion by people who are not members - but rather people who see us as ginnie pigs for psychological studies.

it is kind of sad that people looking from the outside in - cast such a negative light at first glance, and then publish the results with thier own personal agenda. For every favorable report there are 5 unfavorable ones. Sometimes those unfavorable reports come from the Treatment industry itself to knock down the competition. Capatilism at it's finest.

But as the principals teach me - I will pray for them too, just like I would a sick friend.

The words of Jesus come to mind "forvgive them Lord for they know not what they do."

light and love

Gail

[Chaz]

Clean 4...

Thanks for your perspectives... enlightening.

I realized recently that part of the anonymity principle applies to our own anonymity as well. Unless there is a doggone good reason for me to tell someone I am in the program, I do not. There are many reasons for this, including, but not limited to: The possibility of my own mixed motives for telling them such a thing, the potential to break someone else's anonymity by bringing it up, and undue pressure I put on myself by perhaps setting an expectation for myself to live up to something in their eyes. I am sure there are more but these 3 come to mind.

It sounds like you believe the Bible. I do too. Interestingly, so many celebs (Britany Spears comes to mind) that wave their Christian flag loudly end up in scandal or acting in contradiction to their values. I honestly do not know how much about Brittany is really true in terms of her faith or her behaviour, however, suffice it to say that the moment we stand publicly for something, we immediately become a target by others, and I believe, the negative forces in the universe... be it our addiction, our sin nature, "the enemy", or whatever. This is why I believe the bible teaches that those in leadership should be all the more careful of their conduct.

I spent much of my Christian life trying to live up to the expectations projected on my by my church and others. I was so focused on how I looked, I really didnt know who I was as a Christian. Since I went through an agonizing time in my life where outward appearances bore no meaning or value whatsoever, and i to a large degree shed them, I am finally learning who I am as an individual and what I feel is my real relationship with God. I have to a large degree stopped "majoring in the minors" and just focused on trying to find truth as I understand it.

For instance, I was always pressured to clean up my language. I agree that this is ideal, but I spent so much time trying to project what I was not yet (meaning someone who does not swear when he hits his finger with a hammer or gets cut off or is frustrated at work), I felt all I was was a phony.

I am glad to just focus on my program (sorry, THE program) and be honest and real. I do not need to help the truth out or help God out by promoting. I can just BE. And gladly, BEING for me right now is a whole lot more attractive than it once was. That is due to the program.

If I blow it, well.... I can just admit I am wrong, make amends, and keep progressing.

Thanks.

Chaz

[WendyB]

Awesome post, thanks Chaz and Gail. I also refer to it as my program as well. Because in reality it is. If I am not working "my program" I will be out drinking. If I am not working "my program" there is nothing attractive about me. I am very sick, I have a disease its called alcoholism. I am thankful the program of AA is there for me, to teach me how to live, and to get better one day at a time. In a way the program is a selfish program, I work on me everyday. At the same time it is not selfish, I do service work everyday, I work with other women daily. I do know the more I do in AA, the better I feel about myself, hmm thats selfish in a way.
As for the topic, AA for the most part is attraction for me. There are people in the rooms who are very sick, in my oppinion those are the ones promoting AA, the ones hanging on to sobriety with their finger nails. That is not how I want to live, I want to live Happy,Joyous, and Free like God wants me to.
Gee I only wanted to say thanks, I kinda got carried away LOL
So thank you:85:

[rockydeedee]

When I checked into detox, I was not there even 5 minutes and attended my first ever AA meeting. I had never known what AA was. I really did not know what an alcoholic was. I just knew I was tired of drinking and could not stop. If it was not for the dedicated AA members holding meetings at detox, I would probably still be drinking. They did not push AA, they did not hand out schedules of meetings, they just told their stories. That was the attraction part for me. I identified with so many of their stories. I wanted what they had!
I have never walked into a room with strangers and felt so at home and welcome as I did at my first AA meeting at the club house. I did keep coming back and I am grateful that I now have what they have too!

[fibiray]

Hi there chaz I so relate to what you are saying here. It is unfortunate that some meetings remain in the war stories as opposed to emphasising the positive of recovery. Instead they remain in the disease. But god love them where theya re at is where they are at and patience and tolerance is something that I try and apply. Attraction rather than promotion was actually applied when I was first introduced to the concept of sobriety. I knew a woman who had been sober 3 yrs and often she never spoke about it but her example was powerfully influential to me. She had left me with some aa literature that ultimately was what open the doors for me. When I went to my first meeting it was the human kindness that was shown to me that attracted me. I was incapable of understanding anything else. The other day I heard a radio announcement for alcoholic anonymous and quite frankly I was not sure if I agreed with this. The anonymous aspect of aa had been compromised by this radion announcement I felt. There are those well meaning people who also do the public circuit with their stories as a means of making aa known to the community and through such vehicles as the courts, gaols and so forth, and they introduce things like court cards, and the putting of names on public documents and so forth. It seems to be getting bigger and bigger each year and the concept of anonymity is diminishing daily. For those who have professional careers this is certainly problematic and for myself I like to keep aa seperate from my life even though i take the program into my life. I have had people come up to me at work and instantly start talking about god, aa, meetings and programs when it simply isn't appropriate. I have been annihilated by neighbours because of my association with aa. There are those whos eem to forget that addiction whether it be alcohol or drugs can lead to discrimination and I had experienced enough of that in my drinking days. I don't expect to do so in sobriety. Thats my two cents worth anyway and thanks for letting me share.

Fi
xxx

[clean42day]

Our NA public service committee rents billboards every 6 months in different locations along busy roads here in our town......I often wonder if it is beneficial or not? but one thing I can say is people can no longer say they have never heard of NA before.

[dalin]

yep,these days you have to work real hard to maintain denial

[Chaz]

Great replies everyone.... thanks for the lively dialogue.

I had another parallel experience last night that made me think of the line between attraction and promotion.... or to put it a different way... a lot of Rah-Rah! rather than just doing/living the program.

At my AA homegroup last night (a big podium meeting of about 80), a young kid about 20 comes in all dressed in a gansta motif. He speaks to the chair person before the meeting. When it is time to read How It Works, the kid is called up. He seemed to have a real awareness of himself with his style, walk, clothes, etc. I couldnt help notice two people who looked like his parent sitting with a camera on their lap and appearing excited and giddy.

The kid announces that he is an "Addict" and that he is coming back. The then proceeds through the How it Works reading over which his parents cheer and yell. At the end of the meeting they then take pictures together.... it was with a wall as a backdrop so the homegroup member didnt say anything because nobody else was picked up in the background.

My point... it seemed they were all excited and giddy and frankly, making an event.... even a spectacle, about this young man coming back. They didnt seem to care that they were at an AA meeting when he announced he was an addict rather than alcoholic. I hope, for this young man's sake and his family's that he takes the rest of his program as seriously on a day to day basis as he did this coming back ceremony.

The ceremoniousness of the "Coming Back" so reminded me of promotion rather than attraction. The surfacy emotions that go with an event rather than the depth that comes through commitment, work, and honesty. I really do not get too excited when it is announced that some celeb has entered treatment or has 30 days clean. I am far more compelled (and attracted) when I hear that so-and-so is now clean/sober __________ years and I can see their life thriving.

There is a high-profile golfer on one of the tours that was top of the money list a couple years ago. He mentioned that he had been sober 20+ years and that God and his sobriety were to thank for his success in Golf. That to me is attractive. Lindsay Lohan making yet another new commitment... is headline material (promotion) but really does nothing for me.

I hope the young addict at our meeting sticks around... or finds recovery wherever it is meaningful to him.

Ciao.

Chaz

[rockydeedee]

At the end of the meeting they then take pictures together....

Dang it, I did'nt think about doing that! If I had done that with my husband...I could have had a pretty good size scrapbook by now! (just kidding)

I think that is a little overboard...and that is coming from a major cheerleader! :12:

[dalin]

I hear you and understand.
In my first few years of recovery,I was one of the few na members in the state I lived in.
I basicly studied na traditions,and tried to use them as a club,a weapon to
strike back at the A.A. members who I assumed where completely against me,because of
how 3 of there members treated me when the U.S. Navy made me attend meetings against my will.I had an undying resentment,that allowed me to hang around recovery and not in it.
Eventualy I got clean.I was in a small town with no n.a. meetings for miles.On the weekends I could drive 70 miles to n.a. meetings.I had an A.A. sponsorthat took me thru the steps real quick..
After that we started on the traditions.I began to love the traditions.
At a year clean,I got an N.A sponsor
As time passed I began to mature in my understanding.I was lucky enough to move,and get an awesome sponsor from the n.a.way of life book,that was the a true sourse of knowledge about the traditions of N.A..He showed me how to pray for understanding,and how to keep an open mind,and read all available literature for the tradition,all of it from all fellowships,wich at the time was tha basic text,the A.A. 12 AND12,and the Al anon book.
I had one version of It works how and why,from another guy he sponsored that was being
written,and was taken to chicogo for N.A. literaturein the future.
Basicly,whatI learned was that our program was based on spiritual principles,and that as long as I practise these principles,and didnt give false advertisement for our program,that it would work.

Tradition Eleven guarantees freedom from harmful media exposure and maintains personal anonymity. Like Tradition Ten, it also protects the reputation of Narcotics Anonymous as a whole.

1. With what does this tradition deal? (Paragraph 1)

2) What does this tradition teach us how to do? (Paragraph 1)

3) What does our public image consist of? (Paragraph 1)

4) Even though it is important to reach as many people as possible, what is imperative for our protection? (Paragraph 1)

5) What is our attraction? (Paragraph 2)

6) What do our groups offer? (Paragraph 2)

7) What is our promotion? (Paragraph 2)

8) What does this tradition tell us we need to maintain? (Paragraph 3)

9) What two things does this tradition protect? (Paragraph 3)

10) What do we not do in relationship to the media? (Paragraph 3)

11) No individual inside or outside NA does what? (Paragraph 3)

12) How can we apply and practice the spiritual lessons of attraction rather than promotion in our homes? (From the heart)




and another perspective

How do I place the welfare of Narcotics anonymous first?

As an individual member, what are my responsibilities to NA?


How can lack of unity affect my personal recovery?

How will unity as described in the Traditions help me in my personal recovery?

Our First Tradition encourages not only our members but also our groups to place our common welfare first. Most groups conduct most of their affairs on their own. In attending to the details of their daily routines, autonomous NA groups may lose sight of the bigger picture. In the larger frame, each group is a strand in the supporting fabric of Narcotics Anonymous as a whole; without that fabric, there would be no NA. The importance of our unity encourages our groups to look to the welfare of the worldwide NA Fellowship before their own.



What part do I play in the overall picture?

How do I place principles before personalities while promoting unity?

• How can I keep my personality out of service?
Group conscience reflects a collective adherence to spiritual principles. The conscience of a group takes shape and is revealed when its members take the time to talk with each other about their personal needs, the needs of the group, and the needs of NA as a whole. Each member draws upon his or her relationship with a Higher power when sharing with the group. As members listen carefully to each other and consult their personal understanding of a loving God, something happens: Solutions appear that consider the needs of everyone concerned. In developing a group conscience, a clear mutual understanding or consensus arises. Based upon the understanding gained by sharing group conscience, a group may move on to a vote in order to make decisions.

• Why is it important that everyone be heard?
•• How are my strengths and weaknesses shown through humility?
.
• Why are we all equal in Narcotics Anonymous? Explain.
• What will neither hinder nor help our chances of recovery?
• Will these things affect our ability to carry the message one addict to another?
• Why does our occupational identity have no bearing on our ability to carry the message?

Ok all,this is just a smiggeon of how the traditions are a huge part of the program,even
when alot of us love to forget them.They can be desribed as guidlines for healthy relationships.
My knowledge of the traditions today tell me that no matter how unique I feel,that I fit in.
I know that I need to work on seeing how I fit in,instead of being unique and lonely,filled with selfish,self seeking,like I did for years
All of the traditions of all fellowships begin with we.We are no longer alone,unique,diferant,sicker than,etc.
When someone refers to there aplication of the steps or traditions as their program,I have to drop my judgement of them now.
That is the deal.
I do know that God,you freinds in recovery,and my own mistakes still teach me.
Thank you all.

What is integrity?
• How do I know when I am practicing integrity?
• What part does honesty play in integrity?

What are some of the distractions that will divert us from our primary purpose?
• How do we determine when we are being lead down that path of distraction?
• How have I seen my group distracted from its primary purpose?
• What can we do as groups to avoid these distractions?
• How can I as a member contribute to avoiding these distractions?
• How can we best use the tools available to us to help us serve well?
What makes attraction more important than promotion?

[Chaz]

Ya know... I was thinkin...

The principles, steps, traitions of our program all connect together in some manner.

The reason I say that is I have really been pondering the attraction rather than promotion thing... which I suppose is why I posted it in the first place... and my thoughts connected to how AA / NA are structured as organizations... refering to the individual groups.

If we had a "promotions" position in our homegroups, would that not be in keeping with the multitude of departments and titles that are so prevelent in most organizations... whether they be business, church, community, government, etc.... and with those titles and departments... would we not then run the risk of individual agenda creeping in to our groups.... and egos... and envy... and empire-building....and conflict... etc, etc.

I bring this up largely because I am facing some of these challenges in my workplace. Where we just had someone quit largely because they got stepped over for a position that they wanted. Well they didnt get stepped over, they just lost the competition to someone they don't get along with.... frankly, it was a jealousy issue. And this is just one of many in our company. We also have people whose differing agenda are clashing.... not necessarily the company agenda... but rather their own personal ones for their departments.

My girlfriend also is facing issues in her workplace and it is of a completely different nature than mine. In addition.... we are having a few clashes of personality and dirction in our own AA group .... largely because we touch such a wide variety of people. The old-timer AA's get rattled when a lot of addicts influence our meetings... which I understand from their perspective and the fact that our primary purpose is to help people recover from Alcoholism. Yet todays drinker more often ends up turning to drugs .... certainly more than in the past... I know I did even though the core of my problem started with alcohol. Other problems too.

So we have a typical AA group structure with a Secretary, Chair person (weekly rotating) and a rotating list for the various setup duties. We have a treasurer and a GSR. Thats about it. Yet even with the most simple of structure... we still have clashes, and a little politicing, conflict, etc.

Can you imagine if we had a promotions "department"? Or a VP of Promotions? Can you imagine how sidetracking that would be? It would be a veritable breeding ground for personal agenda, grand-standing, attention-seeking, etc. The average alcoholic I have experienced would have a hard time handling such a position... I know I would.... and I dare say it may very well hinder my progress of recovery.

Tradition 6 talks about... although in a slightly different context... about prestige being something that can divert us from our primary purpose. I think this is a reason our structure has remained simple.

A member of a former homegroup of mine has a masters in Human Resources and has worked at senior levels for some very large corporations. He feels that there is no more brilliant organization structure than what has emerged in the AA and NA organizations. Neither are fool-proof. However, they really limit the opportunity for tainted agenda. I suppose it has to be that way because mistakes are so costly in addiction.

Man... in the most bizarre way... in spite of all of the calamity my disease has caused... I am grateful to be a member of this/these fellowships. They have taught me so much.

Ciao.

Chaz