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Ed C.
09-08-2007, 10:32 PM
“Our Membership”

Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. “Appendices I” “Fourth Edition, Alcoholics Anonymous”

I found this append rather interesting and decided that it would be the subject that I would write about this week. It has a lot of information about the membership of A.A. as a whole. I especially would like to emphasize the idea of A.A. membership never depending on money or conformity.

When A.A. first started out there were but a few people who’s goal was to seek out other alcoholics to work with in order to stay sober. They would meet usually in a spot that wasn’t so public such as someone’s house, or maybe a church basement or something. But most of the work that is being talked about in the Big Book is the type of going out on the street in asylums and/or hospitals to find other alcoholics to spread the word of a spiritual experience as a result of the steps. That was the foundation of the membership of A.A..

It’s a lot different today! Man when I first walked into the meeting that was to become my home group, I was confronted with the issue of it being held in a club that was specifically designed to hold A.A. meetings. In this club we were expected to contribute a membership duty and to abide by the rules of the club. Now I’m not saying that there were many rules that would deter someone from becoming a member of A.A., but it was pretty darned clear that if you were a member of A.A. and wanted to meet there that you had to contribute to the club in order for it to keep it’s doors open.

There were many times that I chaired in my home group, and I was told that it would be necessary that I make an announcement that the club needed money desperately to keep the doors open. Something in which made me feel very uneasy being that I was a member of A.A. and had read the above passage many times.

Now I’m not saying that all A.A. groups are like this by any means, but what I’m saying is that they have changed in the idea that membership has to conform to the rules of where most places are used to meet. It has been my experience that there has been many a group in this area that has been displaced just because they have not been able to meet the expectations of whoever or where ever the meeting is being held.

The whole idea of being a member of this group we call A.A. was to become sober and spread the word of how we did it. Now it seems to me that it is an expectation that we have to meet in some place, so this can be accomplished. Everyone is worried that the “newcomer” will not hear this message either if we don‘t have a place to meet.

It seems to me that somewhere down the road the message has been lost in the whole idea of what A.A. is. A.A. is not about meetings and to some extent it’s not about where those meetings should be held to house it’s members. It’s about working with one another as alcoholics to overcome the addiction of alcoholism. The meeting is a great place for this to happen, but it has started to become a place of conformity to the rules of the meeting place. This and the fact that instead of carrying the message of a spiritual experience there has become the idea of the meeting place being the forum to air our dirty laundry or to talk about our day.

I guess the most exhilarating part of being a member of A.A. for me was to go into a rehab and telling everyone there of how the program worked for me. Yet I was expected by the rules of the meeting to follow the “speakers meeting” template. That was I was supposed to talk about myself and how it worked for me. Being the rebel I am I opted to follow my own rules and talk about the program and where it was found. Instead of just doing all of the talking I asked questions and talked around with the other people in the group about how it works. It was perhaps the most productive meeting that I have ever attended. No money, no talk about self, no conformity of how the meeting should be run. Just talk about the program and how it works.

The way I learned about the program was by only a few of us members getting together with the Big Book, reading out of it, and talking about what the stuff meant. We had no rules, we needed no money, there were no expectations. We just talked about alcoholism and the way to overcome it. We didn’t argue about the facts or about how it was that we should be doing this or that. We just plain talked!!!!

Wow what a concept. A bunch of alcoholics getting together and talking about the problem of alcoholism and a solution to that problem. No expectations, no rules, no monetary burden. Well people I really think that is what it was all about in the first place, and like everything else that is good in life we take it and make it so darned complicated that it no longer appears to be the same thing.

I’m not complaining by any means. I really do believe that there are a lot of people just like me who want to stay sober. We can all do that by being members of perhaps the largest membership of people there is. That is by getting together in a meeting with one another and not expecting anything more than to talk to one another about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and how it works for each one of us. Not about how it should work or how you think it should work for others. Just to plain say “Hey today I’m sober and I followed some guidelines that got me in touch with a power that that is greater than myself”. To be grateful for having one another to fall back on and that we have a choice today.

Ed C.
09-09-2007, 09:01 PM
Hi Greg,

They don't have to conform to anything or pay anything to be a member of AA. Yet Tradition 7 says "The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members." It is talking about GROUPS here and the MEMBERS of those GROUPS.
Some members of AA think that by being a member of AA they can join any group they wish and not have to adhere to the group conscience( a loving God ) of that group. They are still self-centered(rebels) who try to force their will of how it works and by-pass the group conscience. Maybe They aren't even a member of that particular group, but a member of AA visiting that group.

Sometimes a gentle reminder by the chair person to stay on track within the outline of the meeting, is taken as a violation of that AA members' right to anarchy(non-conformity).

This is very true! Possibly the idea of taking a meeting into one's hands and controlling the topic may be self-centered. It just didn't feel that way during the "group consciousness" of the meeting I described above at the rehab. See Greg I came from the same rehab, and found it very selfish and self-centered for someone to come into that type of surrounding and just talk about themselves.

I wanted to know about A.A. not the life of the "Joe Alcoholic" that showed up. It was so boring that even though I was serious about becoming sober, I wanted to shoot myself when someone would come in and talk about themselves. It was the time that the members would visit and talk about the program that everyone in the gruop that I was in perked up and listened. That is exactly why I chose to conduct the meeting as I did! Again it was probably the most productive meeting (all newcomers) that I have ever participated in. I saw no selfishness at all in talking about the program and the Big Book!



I personally love that format of AA meeting.

I know lots of sober people in AA who don't like it.

It was conducted outside of the main meeting. Those who chose to participate did, those who didn't want to sat in the regular meeting. It started out with a couple of people doing their own thing and turned out to be a meeting such as was described in the third tradition append.

Oh yeah do you know what an append is Greg? I had to look it up and found it to be exactly what I thought it to be! Love and Respect, Ed C.

McDaniel N.
09-10-2007, 01:36 AM
Need advice to chair meeting.Couple question:1.How long keep moment of silence before serenity prayer,many people complain was too short.2.Crosstalk how ask nicely not to talk cause some newcomer need to hear the person sharing; may have important stories or tools,to stop drinking or using;the ones who are suffering with alcohol or NA:17: THANKS

Ed C.
09-10-2007, 05:58 PM
Hi N. Mc Daniel,

Need advice to chair meeting.Couple question:1.How long keep moment of silence before serenity prayer,many people complain was too short.2.Crosstalk how ask nicely not to talk cause some newcomer need to hear the person sharing; may have important stories or tools,to stop drinking or using;the ones who are suffering with alcohol or NA THANKS

Issue#1: 30 secs. to 1 min.

Issue#2: Politely say "No crosstalking please". If it continues be more assertive and say "I asked for no crosstalking before, if it continues I will have to ask whoever continues it to leave the meeting".

With Love and Respect, Ed C.

Bruce T.
09-11-2007, 09:05 PM
Waaay back up top to Ed's #1 post ... this is the way my beloved home group operates. Yeah, we have to have a place to meet in order to provide a potential newcomer an address and time that we all gather, but our precious little group is autonomous to the extreme and we JUST TALK. It's a beautiful thing to behold, and I know in my heart I am truly blessed by AA in this little old town.

Thanks for letting me share,

-b