The Ultimate Goal.....

[Ed C.]

Hello All,

This week I would like to forego writing from something out of the Big Book and ask what seems to be a very simple question. That question is: What is your take on the ultimate goal of becoming sober?

Love and respect, Ed C.

[flickchic]

Hi Ed,

it may seem like a simple ??, I did have to stop and give it some thought however, besides the desire to refrain from drinking and using, for me I feel (at this point in my recovery) my ultimate goal is to stay "emotionally sober".

Thank's for letting me share.:D

[fibiray]

as stated not drinking and finding peace and living some sort of half decent life. Before coming into aa I had none of these things.

Fi
xxx

[Ed C.]

Hi Y'all,

Flickchic sort of picked up on what I was saying in the question I asked. On the surface it seems as though the ultimate goal for us becoming sober would be to not participate in our addictions and become more stable in our emotional state of mind, but I contend it goes much, much deeper than that.

Yes it is very true that we have to stop whatever we are doing and level out our emotions if we are going to achieve the goal of becoming sober, but those things do not necessarily change anything if we do not spiritually connect with a power that serves as a connection to all that is life.

In the Big Book it says : " Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help".

So it really seems to me that our ultimate goal would to be rid of selfishness and self-centeredness! That so we can function and get along with others in some type of way that corresponds with reality. It also really seems to me that it could be possible that the oversight of this being our ultimate goal of becoming sober may be the reason it is so hard to believe that we can function outside the doors of a recovery system such as A.A. or N.A. without some type of relapse.

We must remember that we addicts are not the only portion of society that understand this premise either. There are people of religion who have been aware of this power and strive for the goal of working together in peace and tranquility for far longer than the program of recovery has been around. Problem being is there are those who try to use this power for selfish and self-centered reasons. Again we step on the toes of our fellows and cause them to retaliate. Why?

It's because we refuse to understand anything. We only take what we know and use superficial thinking to justify it to be the truth. We believe that what we are thinking and doing is the only way it can be, and we tell others that what they are thinking and doing is wrong. This type of communication (if that is what it can be called) is at best confusing, it causes friction and ultimate turmoil in what we do.

To understand literally means to grasp the meaning. How can we grasp the meaning of anything if we refuse to look any deeper than what we believe to be true? I can't tell you that only because I don't really know. But that is the reason I am here. That is to ask these type of questions of you and try to come to an understanding of what you are doing to stay sober. In return I will share with you what I have learned along the way. In this exchange we achieve what I believe to be the ultimate goal of becoming sober. That is to be rid of self! With Love and respect, Ed C.

[Jackie]

My ultimate goal is to live a life that is happy, joyous and free.

[FOOLINTHERAIN]

Hi ED,
For me living life on life's terms without having to bury every feeling,emotion or fear with
drugs and alcohol. To have a close personal relationship with my Creator.
To be able to serve Him and my fellow human beings in a way that is pleasing to Him.
Thanks to all for sharing.
Kirk

[dragonfly44]

One Day, One Hour, One Moment At A Time. Meeting Makers, Make It!
Create A Great Day,
Renea`

[Ed C.]

Hi Y'all'

Thanks for all the responses! I think what I'll do is focus our attention maybe a little closer to what I'm getting at by underlining what has been said in the Big Book : "Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible" (God makes it possible to be rid of selfishness and self-centeredness). Hint: Above everything means ultimately! With love and respect, Ed C.

P.S. Greg, Yes the end result of becoming sober is to stop whatever addiction we may have, but we have to do the above or it will not stick. That is why they say "Above everything"! Ed

[mellotripp]

The hardest thing for me to do, was learning to be happy with what I got. Of course this was hard because I had no choice, go figure.

[Bruce T.]

Yes, putting myself on the altar as a self-sacrifice is difficult. The problem with a living sacrifice is that it's always trying to crawl off the altar.

But Ed, you are oh so correct in your BB quotation and the emphasis you placed on it.

My take on the whole deal is that I must have faith in "a God of [my] own understanding" to take care of my needs. Anything I am blessed with beyond my needs is available to be shared. It is my privelage and duty to do so. It keeps me out of "self" and might accidentally help someone else.

Thanks for letting me share.

-Ol' Unkle Ignernt

[Clean&Serene]

To keep the guy in the chair next to me sober long enough to save somebody's life. :smile:

[gr8fl2dy]

Our constant thought of others, and of how we may help meet their needs.

Attitude of Gratitude!!

[kaistevens]

My ultimate goal in sobriety is to become what my Higher Power, my Creator, designed and created me to be. He made me with a purpose and for a reason, and when I am doing what He created me to do, I am no longer living by and for self, I am not longer harming myself or others, I am surrounded by His perfect love, and acceptance, and protection.

I will, of course, never do this perfectly, but the more of my life that I have alligned with my Creator, the more love and acceptance and protection I will be surrounded with when I fall.

I like to relate it like this.
Here I am, trying to decide what I will be when I grow up. :162: So, I decide I want to be a crescent wrench because I see it as flexible and useful and powerful. :156:
I don't stop to ask God what his plan is, I make my own plan. :sad: I was Created a screwdriver, and the life I was born into and the paths that I have to choose from in my life are designed, by my Creator, to rely on me doing my part as a screwdriver.
So, I do my screwdriver best to be a wrench. :278: Which turns out to be very unsatisfying, frustrating, with failure after failure, and I, of course, blame God for not helping me. :37: I keep putting myself in places I don't belong, :23: trying to do things that I was never intended to do, :23: and I keep blaming God for my disappointment.:10:
So, one day, at the bottom, having tried to live MY way over and over again, I go to God, I ask, "What is your plan for me?" :confused:
And he answers me, "Well, I'm glad you asked, I am in bad need of a screwdriver right now, its important and its a vital part of my plan."
Well, that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life, and I can't see how I could ever find any kind of peace or fullfillment living the life of a screwdriver, but my plans just aren't working, and I will try it God's way, if only to prove him wrong. :sad:
So, although I could not see his whole plan, and although I could not see the whole picture, I surrendered to my Creator, and became willing to become what he had created me to be from the very begining. :33: In doing that, I started to find peace, and fullfillment, and a feeling of usefullness. He actually knew what was best for me, it turns out he knows what he's doing. :5:

So, my goal in sobriety is to continue to become what my Creator designed me to be. As a result, I tend to be less selfish, and self-centerd, and I do less harm to myself and to others. And even when I mess up or fall down, it is far less damaging, because I am not so far out of place today.

I hope I didn't lose everybody with that one. It's sort of a redneck, country girl way of seeing it, but it makes more sense to me looking at it that way.

Love ya later. Kai

[david monteith]

hi ed
my name is david and i'm an alcoholic
thank you for your topic,it is a huge one..
stopping drinking for me was just opening the door to a new life ,it was never the goal.the ultimate goal for me today is to become more human every day.
to be able to love and be loved to grow up,to wake up. i love this programme
aa is a miracle ,i'm just happy to be part of it.learning to deal with life's situations,up's or down's that's the goal.if uncontrolable drinking was the only problem ,alli'd have to do is stop.i came to understand that uncotrollable drinking is a symptom of the problem. it has taken my whole recovery so far to understand the problem,to understand myself.to understand that problem and go to any length to deal with it ,that is the goal.
DavidM