Stressed and depressed.

[FOOLINTHERAIN]

Hi i'm Kirk,
a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict.
For the past five years i have been through much,my mother died my sponsor of 11 years died,closest thing to a dad i ever had i miss both,
2 octobers ago i lost a niece 20 years old to drinking and driving.it has been
painful.
Dont really know what i am looking for all i know is i need.
i have been extreamly depressed for awhile six months or so.for me depression has always been there i just deal with it.But this is different i cant shake it.
its getting harder and harder to function and i am becoming fearful.
God has graciusly led me to this site and i am grateful.
any help or prayers will be greatly apprieciated.
Thanks for listening God bless you all
kirk

[peajaye]

:67:

I usually have a low grade depression lying just below the surface. Is it possible for you to see a Dr.? Depression is pretty serious when it is prolonged without treatment.

I love this site and am glad you found us. I love your avatar.

[admin]

Hi Kirk, I will pray for you but I suggest you see your doctor and the sooner the better. :195: :42:

[Bruce T.]

Hi Kirk, I will pray for you but I suggest you see your doctor and the sooner the better. :195: :42:

Dear Kirk,

I'm with Tammy. I've sufferred from clinical depression (always heightened by depressive situations) and anxiety disorder all my life. I never realized this until I lost 5 yrs. sobriety, ended up on the streets and took two trips to a psych unit. Don't get me wrong - I don't use that a justification for my alcoholism - I drank because I liked the way it made me feel. Period.

But my psychiatrist and counselors made me realize my drug and alcohol dependency were the result of "self medication" for brain disorders I did not realize I had and over which I had no control. I am still an alcoholic/addict, and the program of AA and my family at this website (and other websites that I haunt) help me to keep sober, one day at a time. But psychiatric help and prescribed medications play a very important role, one I would like to deny, but necessary for me. But as always, I can speak only for myself out of my own experience.

Did any of that make sense?

I wish you the best,

Bruce "broken brain" T.

[eve3]

yes i must say absolutly c a dr im diagonoised with depression my self.....and by the way welcome 2 our family keep coming and sharing....eve

[mellotripp]

Nuff' said, Kirk, hang in there. Keep coming back.

[janbear]

Kirk you are in my prayers this afternoon :195:
Like others i suggest seeing a Dr. I am also wondering if you have allowed yourself to grieve your losses.

[Chaz]

Oh man! This program blows me away. Nowhere have I head my story over and over and over like this.

I too have felt anxiety and depression my whole life. Not enough to disable me completely. Enough though that I spent most of my life irritable, angry, sad, thinking of suicide, unable to enjoy the moment, and the list goes on. I lost a marriage over it.

Booze... and eventually drugs... were a natural for me. I loved them from the moment I tried them because they freed me from the pain I carried constantly... even when I was alone.

Kirk... I concur with other posters here... see a Dr. I see an addicitons specialist who is very cautious about prescribing anti-Ds. However will when necessary. He strongly urges a deep commitment to one's program for a long period first. Unless case is acute. This is what he did with me. My depression and anxiety cut in half or more. I still feel it but nowhere to the degree I once did. I have not yet gone back on meds and may never. I just know that pouring myself into the 12 steps and AA fellowship made a huge difference to my depression and anxiety. Meds are there if I need more help. But I will let Dr. make that decision.

You have been through a ton bro. I can relate. There is a good life waiting for you and happiness. By coming here, it shows you are on the journey and looking for answers.

Keep coming back.

Chaz

[Bruce T.]

Dear Kirk,

Yeah, what he said. Hang in there and keep coming back. We have a wonderful family here (even inclucing myself, the "red-headed bastard step child") and help eachother out immensely. At least that's been my experience, gracia a Dios.

All my best,

-Ol' Unkle Ignernt

[Chaz]

Kirk... man... was thinking about this a lot through the day. How many of us, I wonder, have that nagging, nawing, depression and anxiety just below the surface. Robbing us of our moment to moment happiness?

Can anyone else relate to the appeal of drugs/booze to quiet the constant ache?

I used to refer to to what I called the "Free at last" experience... this was when the booze I just chugged hit my system. It usually came on about 5 minutes after a good swig of vodka. I just could not wait for the relief to hit. When it began to come over me, I would thank God sincerely and feel the weight lift.

Then when I was introduced to coke, it was even quicker and more euphoric. So both were a natural for me to fall into. Yet, I have found the most amazing peace and contentment in my recovery. I so love this stuff.... it is amazing.

It did for me what medicine, psychiatry, and religion could not do on their own. I still value them all... but it was this program that brought them all together for me in a meaningful and effective way.

Kirk... I can't help but believe that something similar is waiting for you too.

Ciao.

Chaz