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dalin
09-19-2007, 04:45 PM
I am putting a large STOP sign
to all my negative self-talk today.
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Self Acceptance = I.P. No. 19

The problem

The lack of self-acceptance is a problem for many recovering addicts.
This subtle defect is difficult to identify and often goes
unrecognized. Many of us believe that using drugs was our only
problem, denying the fact that our lives had become unmanageable. Even
after we stop using, this denial can continue to plague us. Many of
the problems we experience in ongoing recovery stem from an inability
to accept ourselves on a deep level. We may not even realize that this
discomfort is the source of our problem, because it is often
manifested in other ways. We may find ourselves becoming irritable or
judgmental, discontent, depressed, or confused. We may find ourselves
trying to change environmental factors in an attempt to satisfy the
inner gnawing we feel. In situations such as these our experience has
shown that it is best to look inward for the source of our discontent.
Very often, we discover that we are harsh critics of ourselves,
wallowing in self-loathing and self-rejection.

Before coming to NA, most of us spent our entire lives in
self-rejection. We hated ourselves and tried every way we could to
become someone different. We wanted to be anyone but who we were.
Unable to accept ourselves, we tried to gain the acceptance of others.
We wanted other people to give us the love and acceptance we could not
give ourselves, but our love and friendship were always conditional.
We would do anything for anyone just to gain their acceptance and
approval, and then would resent those who wouldn't respond the way we
wanted them to.

Because we could not accept ourselves, we expected to be rejected by
others. We would not allow anyone to get close to us for fear that if
they really knew us, they would also hate us. To protect ourselves
from vulnerability, we would reject others before they had a chance to
reject us.

The Twelve Steps are the solution

Today, the first step toward self-acceptance is acceptance of our
addiction. We must accept our disease and all the troubles that it
brings us before we can accept ourselves as human beings.

The next thing we need to help us toward self-acceptance is belief in
a Power greater than ourselves who can restore us to sanity. We do not
need to believe in any particular person's concept of that Higher
Power, but we do need to believe in a concept that works for us. A
spiritual understanding of self-acceptance is knowing that it is all
right to find ourselves in pain, to have made mistakes, and to know
that we are not perfect.

The most effective means of achieving self-acceptance is through
applying the Twelve Steps of recovery. Now that we have come to
believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we can depend upon His
strength to give us the courage to honestly examine our defects and
our assets. Although it is sometimes painful and may not seem to lead
to self-acceptance, it is necessary to get in touch with our feelings.
We wish to build a solid foundation of recovery, and therefore need to
examine our actions and motivations and begin changing those things
that are unacceptable.

Our defects are part of us and will only be removed when we practice
living the NA program. Our assets are gifts from our Higher Power, and
as we learn to utilize them fully, our self-acceptance grows and our
lives improve.

Sometimes we slip into the melodrama of wishing we could be what we
think we should be. We may feel overpowered by our self-pity and
pride, but by renewing our faith in a Higher Power we are given the
hope, courage, and strength to grow.

Self-acceptance permits balance in our recovery. We no longer have to
look for the approval of others because we are satisfied with being
ourselves. We are free to gratefully emphasize our assets, to humbly
move away from our defects, and to become the best recovering addicts
we can be. Accepting ourselves as we are means that we are all right,
that we are not perfect, but we can improve.

We remember that we have the disease of addiction, and that it takes a
long time to achieve self-acceptance on a deep level. No matter how
bad our lives have become, we are always accepted in the Fellowship of
Narcotics Anonymous.

Accepting ourselves as we are resolves the problem of expecting human
perfection. When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our
lives, unconditionally, probably for the first time. Our friendships
become deep and we experience the warmth and caring which results from
addicts sharing recovery and a new life.
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dalin
09-19-2007, 04:47 PM
Commitment

As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or
lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a
commitment for
relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or
apartment
we want, the job we want, or the car we desire.

We must commit, on deep levels, to careers, to goals, to family, friends,
and recovery. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing
ourselves will.

Yet, we need never commit before we are ready.

Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want
to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other
times, it
is a matter of our fears working their way out. Wait, then. Wait until the
issue becomes clear.

Trust yourself. Ask your Higher Power to remove your fear of
commitment. Ask
God to remove your blocks to commitment. Ask God for guidance.

Ask yourself if you are willing to lose what you will not commit to. Then
listen, quietly. And wait until a decision seems consistently right and
comfortable.

We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready.
Trust that you will commit when you want to.

God, guide me in making my commitments. Give me the courage to make those
that are right for me, the wisdom to not commit to that which does not
feel
right, and the patience to wait until I know.
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Let the River

Rest in the comfort of the quiet time
fall into the non-doing, the non-grasping
to always reach, to make, to do, to have
Fall into a smile of peaceful reminisce
Lay back into your anxiety
and wrap it in warm woollen clouds

Rivers in their flow always have this constant:
reflections of sky willows clouds birds us
whatever goes by, the river carries it on its back
yet still manages to wash itself
of extraneous stuff that would hinder its course

Lay back as the river washes over you
and bathes you in crystal cleansing moisture
washing the cares, the must-dos of your life
its flow serene, its waters replenishing
as calm floods into your soul
clean sands warm underneath you

let the river take you
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free2bunme
09-19-2007, 04:47 PM
I love this reading. Thank you for posting it today!

dalin
09-19-2007, 04:49 PM
glad you liked it