dalin
09-20-2007, 06:46 PM
young addict, Young NA fellowship grow up together
Body: Any addict can find recovery in NA... even a fifteen-year-old girl from an island in South Florida who learned to drink coffee and hang out with thirty-year-olds. because she knew her recovery depended on them- even when they hit on her, teased her about getting clean so young, told her how lucky she was that she didn't have to go through real pain as she suffered silently from her past: sexual abuse, drug overdoses, promiscuity, arrests,violence, loneliness, guilt, paranoia. The thing she wanted so badly to say was that although she was different (younger) in their eyes, her pain was just as devastating to her as the pain of a homeless junkie, or anyone else. She was ready to quit; she was asking for help. There were NA members who told her she was too young to be an addict. Others avoided or shunned her. Fortunately, there were those who told her that she earned a seat in Narcotics Anonymous, and to stay and fight for it.
I remember the first time I heard the message of recovery. Stumbling in wasted after the bell rang for my freshman high school English class wasn't unusual. When I walked in that day something was different. The class was quiet , and some woman was talking to the teacher.
I made my way to the back corner. Other students, trying to avoid my frequent hostility, moved out of my way. I was just wiping the sweat off my sunglasses when the teacher introduced us to the lady. She said the visitor was a former drug addict and was going to tell us about her drug problem. Everyone near me started cutting up after I asked her if she brought us any of the drugs she had left over.
As she started talking about her childhood, I wadded up paper in my mouth and shot it toward her with a straw. Someone threw a crumpled-up homework assignment at her as she talked of her arrests and drug overdoses. I laughed and encouraged everyone to be as disrespectful and obnoxious as possible.
The whole time we taunted her, her voice remained calm and steady. Despite my lack of apparent interest I heard every word she said, every word.
I had already wanted to, tried to, and promised to stop using drugs, but I always failed. Incredibly,I come from a wonderful family with loving parents and two elder brothers whom I admire. My closeness to them was being destroyed and I felt totally unable to do anything about it.
Later that day, two of my clean friends,who had tried many times to help me clean up by lying for me, carrying me into class or home, begging me to quit, stealing my drugs, and threatening to snitch, approached me. They asked me to skip my next class to meet someone. When I got there, it was her- the lady whoboth fascinated and terrified me.
Before I left she told me she would like to take me to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. She said words that would later give me comfort. She confidently said, "You never have to use again, just for today".
At the end of that first meeting, I found myself in the front of the room with a plain white polker chip in my hand. I later found out that the white polker chip was a symbol of my surrender and a reminder that I was gambling with my life if I threw it away. Strange as it seems, at that age, knowing nothing about NA, I felt that I had found somethingthat would change my life forever! For some reason I knew I was okay, that I found help.
That is how my recovery journey began, leading me places I never could imagine. Over time, I would learn about the traditions and the NA service structure. There at the beginning, I had no idea that one day I would enjoy being of service by making phone calls, greeting newcomers, handing out literature, setting up tables and chairs, making coffee, taking out the trash, and cleaning the floor of the meeting facility.
Despite pressure from all the other teens "just doing time", I was blessed with the willingness to get a sponsor and build a relationship. I had no idea that I would be sponsoring women over the years because I had something worth giving, and was willing to give it because someone else gave it so freely to me.
I was blessed with the gift of taking recovery seriously. I listened and stuck with the "winners", like I was told. I trusted my sponsors suggestions to attend the world convention in Chicago and shared recovery with addicts all around the world. Many of them are still clean today, and I consider them my brothers and sisters. I have also seen many addicts whom I love die.
I had no idea that the woman who shared her story in my class would relapse, overdose, and die after having three years clean. I had no idea I would pick up a Twenty year medallion at the group she started, my home group to this day. I had no idea of my good fortune for grabbing onto NA not only at my young age, but alsoat an age whereNA was young.
I believe in the NA message to my core, not just from all the gifts of recovery, but fom the terrible pain I've faced in recovery as well. There were lonely, horrible times that I didn't want to live through, and the times when I couldn't hold on, but God, the Twelve Steps, and other recovering addicts pulled me out of there clean!
The Narcotics Anonymous message that I struggle to live each and every day in my heart is still as relevant for me today as it was when I first heard from the woman who had the courage to share her story with my high school class: "That an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live".
Any addict, even you!
Body: Any addict can find recovery in NA... even a fifteen-year-old girl from an island in South Florida who learned to drink coffee and hang out with thirty-year-olds. because she knew her recovery depended on them- even when they hit on her, teased her about getting clean so young, told her how lucky she was that she didn't have to go through real pain as she suffered silently from her past: sexual abuse, drug overdoses, promiscuity, arrests,violence, loneliness, guilt, paranoia. The thing she wanted so badly to say was that although she was different (younger) in their eyes, her pain was just as devastating to her as the pain of a homeless junkie, or anyone else. She was ready to quit; she was asking for help. There were NA members who told her she was too young to be an addict. Others avoided or shunned her. Fortunately, there were those who told her that she earned a seat in Narcotics Anonymous, and to stay and fight for it.
I remember the first time I heard the message of recovery. Stumbling in wasted after the bell rang for my freshman high school English class wasn't unusual. When I walked in that day something was different. The class was quiet , and some woman was talking to the teacher.
I made my way to the back corner. Other students, trying to avoid my frequent hostility, moved out of my way. I was just wiping the sweat off my sunglasses when the teacher introduced us to the lady. She said the visitor was a former drug addict and was going to tell us about her drug problem. Everyone near me started cutting up after I asked her if she brought us any of the drugs she had left over.
As she started talking about her childhood, I wadded up paper in my mouth and shot it toward her with a straw. Someone threw a crumpled-up homework assignment at her as she talked of her arrests and drug overdoses. I laughed and encouraged everyone to be as disrespectful and obnoxious as possible.
The whole time we taunted her, her voice remained calm and steady. Despite my lack of apparent interest I heard every word she said, every word.
I had already wanted to, tried to, and promised to stop using drugs, but I always failed. Incredibly,I come from a wonderful family with loving parents and two elder brothers whom I admire. My closeness to them was being destroyed and I felt totally unable to do anything about it.
Later that day, two of my clean friends,who had tried many times to help me clean up by lying for me, carrying me into class or home, begging me to quit, stealing my drugs, and threatening to snitch, approached me. They asked me to skip my next class to meet someone. When I got there, it was her- the lady whoboth fascinated and terrified me.
Before I left she told me she would like to take me to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. She said words that would later give me comfort. She confidently said, "You never have to use again, just for today".
At the end of that first meeting, I found myself in the front of the room with a plain white polker chip in my hand. I later found out that the white polker chip was a symbol of my surrender and a reminder that I was gambling with my life if I threw it away. Strange as it seems, at that age, knowing nothing about NA, I felt that I had found somethingthat would change my life forever! For some reason I knew I was okay, that I found help.
That is how my recovery journey began, leading me places I never could imagine. Over time, I would learn about the traditions and the NA service structure. There at the beginning, I had no idea that one day I would enjoy being of service by making phone calls, greeting newcomers, handing out literature, setting up tables and chairs, making coffee, taking out the trash, and cleaning the floor of the meeting facility.
Despite pressure from all the other teens "just doing time", I was blessed with the willingness to get a sponsor and build a relationship. I had no idea that I would be sponsoring women over the years because I had something worth giving, and was willing to give it because someone else gave it so freely to me.
I was blessed with the gift of taking recovery seriously. I listened and stuck with the "winners", like I was told. I trusted my sponsors suggestions to attend the world convention in Chicago and shared recovery with addicts all around the world. Many of them are still clean today, and I consider them my brothers and sisters. I have also seen many addicts whom I love die.
I had no idea that the woman who shared her story in my class would relapse, overdose, and die after having three years clean. I had no idea I would pick up a Twenty year medallion at the group she started, my home group to this day. I had no idea of my good fortune for grabbing onto NA not only at my young age, but alsoat an age whereNA was young.
I believe in the NA message to my core, not just from all the gifts of recovery, but fom the terrible pain I've faced in recovery as well. There were lonely, horrible times that I didn't want to live through, and the times when I couldn't hold on, but God, the Twelve Steps, and other recovering addicts pulled me out of there clean!
The Narcotics Anonymous message that I struggle to live each and every day in my heart is still as relevant for me today as it was when I first heard from the woman who had the courage to share her story with my high school class: "That an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live".
Any addict, even you!