I got a sponsor and I have a question

[boxerfan]

My sponsor has just gotten me started on first step work, but the ideas of spirituality and HP still loom large in my vision. I'm curious how others define both higher power and spirituality. I'm having a great deal of difficulty finding the words to describe these concepts and I wonder if it is because I don't know what they are? TIA, Lisa :21:

[searcher230002]

hello Lisa. interesting questions you pose. it sounds as though you are eager to begin the 12 Step solution to recovery, & that is a good thing. the 1st thought that came to mind as i read your share was, 1st things 1st. you are on Step 1, & that is as it should be. once worked to 100% perfection, (the only step that can, & must be worked perfectly). it is a natural proccess, & evolution to take Step 2, (Came to believe) because, if you are powerless, & cannot manage your life, then the question that must be answered is then: who or what can. that is when i began to "seek" that rudemantary Higher Power, that i now refer to as God. one day at a time seems appropriate here as well. many in AA never work Step 1 with their sponsor(s), & some end up relapsing for lack of understanding. i am happy that you have chosen to work this all important Step with the guidance of "one who has gone before you: a wise choice indeed.......best of luck Lisa, hope this has helped you a bit. if not, it sure did no harm........lol.................................bc

[WendyB]

I agree with Bill. You are on step 1. Focus on that for it is one of the most important steps. It is your foundation for recovery.

I know you are worried because you are agnostic. I know personally a couple agnostics who have a higher power. And a powerful one at that. I know it is not the religious God they seek, but they do seek something bigger than them.

When I first came into the rooms, I has a hard time defining my God. I had turned my back on God and religion when I was a small child. I had a hard time believing, if there was a God, the terrible things that happened to me in my childhood would not have happened.

For me not having a HP I could rely on when life got tough, which life still goes on, and its not always roses and butterflies, I relapsed. And it was only after coming back into the rooms, I figured out why. I had no trust in a HP.

My sponsor had me write down what my HP would look like. She said I could use anything. Or make up anything I liked, as long as it made sense to me.
So I did, and my HP is simple, but he is one I designed and one that makes sense to me. (you can PM me if you want more info) for I am not ashamed of my past or step work. It has gotten me to where I am now, I do have an awesome relationship with my God today and I trust.

And this is the beauty of the 12 steps, they are designed for all of us. There is no cookie cutter here. :29:

[clarkwright]

Understanding step one led me to a Higher Power, or God of my conception. When I realized that the obsession to drink was stronger than I was, or ever would be, I knew I had to find a Power greater than alcoholism.
I was a confirmed atheist when I entered AA in 1985. One day I asked the question “How is that working for you?” I had to answer “not very good.” When I realized my powerlessness, I became desperate enough to pray. I said the atheist prayer: “God, I do not believe in you, but I need help and am tired of living this way.” It worked.
When asked how God and the 12 steps work for me, I can honestly answer, “very well thank you.” That is plenty good enough.

[kaistevens]

Just like the other's said, it is important to take it one step at a time.

Each step that you work through, with your sponsor, will start preparing you for the next step. So all you have to do is focus on the step that you are on. You don't have to be ready for the next step until you get there, it is a progression.

On the other hand, I also struggled with the spirituallity/God thing when I started. Some one broke it down to me real simple.

What is a Higher Power? Something more powerful than me. Something that is not controlled by this insanity that seems to have taken over my life.

Like what? The group. Each individual is only a falible human being like myself, but a room full of people, as a unit, who are staying sober, and finding peace and serenity, that is for sure something more powerful than me.

As far as 'understanding' God - spirituallity - higher power, I can accept that I don't fully understand, and maybe I never will.
What do I KNOW?
--I know that the atoms that make up my body and everything in the world follow rules that are neither set up nor controlled by me. SOMETHING, far more powerful than me, something that I can neither see nor understand, made those rules and is in control of those things.
--I know that there is an order to all things - time, gravity, earth, sun, stars. WHATEVER governs those things, is a power greater than me.
--I know that there are intricate and complex patturns all around me, that are always at work, in everything and everyone, since the begining of time, that I cannot deny exist, and I cannot explain or understand.

I see these things and know there is something bigger than me. THAT is my higher power. And I use caution in the words that I use to describe that power, today. Because words are nothing more than symbols, a combination of sounds combined to express meanings. And what one word symbolizes to me, may symbolize something very different to you.

That is why it is so important that you find your own understanding of that power greater than you, not because that power is not absolute, but because if I try to explain him to you in my words, it might be my words that get in your way.

Having said all that, I get back to what the others said. Just doing one step at a time is important. Just like not drinking one day at a time is important. That first time I heard that I can never drink again, it just sounded impossible. I only have to not drink today, and I have the freedom of a different choice tomorrow. And if I like what I get out of today, then I can choose to do it again tomorrow, but I don't have to worry about that until tomorrow.

Keep coming back, and try to take it one day at a time. Love ya

Kai

[janbear]

I ditto the words, "One step at a time" said throughout this thread.

But to answer your question on Higher Power and spirituality for me is this:

Higher Power is something or someone bigger, greater than i am. In Step 1 is where i found out how powerless i am over my addiction. I had to have a Higher Power that is greater than my addiction, greater than me, for me it is God. In the beginning it was the group, but it later changed to God.
Spirituality for me is how i relate to God. Its about my relationship. Spirituality is the foundation of your relationship with what/who you believe in. Thats me.


I think its great you are working with you sponsor on the Steps. :85: Keep it up and stay honest, openminded, and willing.