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dalin
10-16-2007, 12:58 AM
Talking About Our Problems
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I know several people who talk endlessly about their problems and
they have a lot to talk about. Each conversation with them starts
with a rundown of every bad thing that has happened to them since our
previous talk, with some items being repeated in case I didn't
remember. While I want to be sympathetic I also know that by
endlessly talking about their problems they are only making them
worse and creating more of them. But when I try to tell them about
how they are creating the problems in their reality they don't want
to hear it. They aren't ready to create solutions, they just want to
talk about their problems.
When we have a problem we like to discuss it with others. This gives
us the support and sympathy that we want when our life is in chaos.
And while we often benefit from having a sympathetic ear and the
guidance of others, at some point we have to regain our power and
control and start doing something about the issue. When we are
constantly focused on what is 'wrong' with our reality, we are simply
attracting more of it to us. No matter what is going on, in the eyes
of the Universe, it is all perfect.

In the Universe there are no 'problems' and nothing is ever viewed as
being 'wrong', there are only experiences that we create on our
journey. Each experience has a lesson for us and within that lesson
is all of the information that we need to learn and a blessing in the
form of knowledge, power and enlightenment. When we focus on the
problem and talk about it endlessly we are missing the lesson and
reaffirming our powerlessness. What can we do to become more powerful
and use the information to our benefit?

Talking about our problems is something we all do. But there is a
time to talk and a time to act. By turning our focus from talk into
positive action we can find solutions and move out of the situation.
When we talk about our problems we are focused on the past instead of
the present. We are also focused on our fears instead of our power.
Gaining the sympathy and attention we need to help us feel better
about our situation is important and so is deciding when to stop
talking and focusing on our powerlessness and start being powerful.


:rolleyes::smile::29:

janbear
05-05-2008, 05:50 PM
:1:

GarryW
05-06-2008, 12:27 PM
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer is very powerful in itself. It reaffirms for me that there are things beyond my control that I have to accept. Through accepting my limitations, I can have peace. Yet, understanding what those limitations are is an exercise of trial and error. Some may even say that it's a lifetime journey. The courage we pray for in the Serenity Prayer is the quality needed to put forth the effort of finding out what we can do and what we can't. The experience gained from our successes and our failures provides us with the wisdom to KNOW the difference.

When it comes to continuous belly-aching, whining, and sitting on the pity-pot: I have little tolerance. I didn't get clean to be miserable. When I came to NA, I quickly learned that it was my inability to accept personal responsibilities that allowed me to create my own problems. And just as I'm responsible for my recovery, I'm also responsible for my solutions. If I am the problem (and 9 out of 10 times I am), I'm also the solution. Although I have a disease called addiction that can manifest itself in every area of my life, I also have a program that can help me to live life on it's own terms.

As I see it, the 12 steps are the solution. And far too many of us want the benefits of hard work without doing the labor. Recovery is about more than staying clean and working the program requires us to sometimes do things we don't want to do. So the choice rests with the individual - you can sit back and whine or you can be proactive in your process. As they say, the program works when we work it -or- when the pain gets greater than the pleasure...we'll do something different.

GarryW

Nodak
05-06-2008, 03:36 PM
:85: +10 & Amen! GarryW

Nodak