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teejay
10-21-2007, 07:55 AM
I am a new drinker. I had never taken a drink before 25. Just one day, and I remember it very vividly, my roomate who was a bartender had moved out due to his own relationship drama, and I looked over in a state of personal duress over something stupid like a guy and saw his 15+ bottles sitting on the bar in our old house and I got one. All downhill from there.

Most of my dark nights in my beautiful apartment in my college town that I had worked so hard to get remain a secret. I don't remember some. I didn't realize I was losing time until I woke up one morning and all the furniture in my living room was overturned. My father handmade all that. I got scared and poured it all out. I went to work and had a sit down with my bosses, who loved me and I had worked for for many years, and told them I needed some healing time and I needed to go home (to my parents). They agreed to hold my job until I got myself together. So I made a call to my parents.

I ended up going home from college, giving up my beautiful apartment I had. I left without a word to anyone except my wonderful roommate and an ex who had a worse addiction than me. Now, my parents are beautiful wonderful people who don't drink and don't condone it. They are religious, clean, hard working, and beautiful. I moved into the garage apartment to "rest", and for a few weeks it was fine. I played video games, talked to friends... but I couldn't control it, even there.

I am a talented graphic and motion artist so I was earning decent money freelancing and it fed the addiction. I would be sober enough to finish something and then, go get bottles. I would hide them under my bed until my very aged parents (60+) went to sleep, and I would drink. I wouldn't remember things. I remember my dad, a decorated officer in the military, asking why one of his very very prestigious framed awards was shattered one morning. It was a big mystery, but I knew.

I don't know what happened after a few months, but they figured it out. I woke up and my wallet was gone. They hid it. I walked out and said, yes, it's true. I have low self esteem due to a lot of things that they were aware of and.. I messed up. I was forgiven, they're my parents. I did fine for a while. BUt not long, I just got better at concealing it.

I had a decent amonut of money built up at this point, amazing for a raving alcoholic. I had been talking to a guy from California, and he offered me to come stay with him. We had been talking a long time, so I said, screw it. I threw my stuff in the car and left. I came to Cali and was really happy... for a while.

It's been 1.5 years now I've been here with my wonderful Cali-guy... but... I drink. More than ever. I think about.. what hurts me??

1. My body... I hate it. For some background.. I was fat... I had 2 huge surgeries that left vicious scars on me, made me lose 75% of my wieght, but I really (I am tearing up) feel too ugly to be in this world. My mother was a beauty queen in her day... it's very hard.

2. Finances hurt. He doesn't work. I love him, together we are a powerful dynamic force.. but money keeps us alive. I am ruining my credit to support someone who can't work. But I can't get mad. I had every opportunity in the world.. he had none. I can make what I make, he can't. I just need some support. I need someone to say, I'll do this to make some money because it will help on the grocery bill. I love him, but it's so hard to support someone else.

I know I have abused him.. gotten so mad in my drinking that I yell at him... so much that the neighbors hear. I don't want him to hate me. He came from alcoholism. I don't want him to have to deal with this over and over. He knew the scars and the details of me before he asked me to come... I should have said how I dealt with them.

What should I do? He demands I stop drinking or I get help, because he's stick of the abuse and rightly so. What should I do? I work 10-13 hour days over an hour from home. I am gome from 7 to 8 or 9. I don't have time for meetings or... anything.

Help me.:9:

admin
10-21-2007, 08:44 AM
:67: teejay! :17: Glad to have you join us. When I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired and hit bottom is when I finally got help for myself. There came a time when I was finally ready and willing to go to any lengths. I was done with the yeah buts and I can't because. I had had enough. I put my sobriety first before everything else because you see without it I'm nothing. Please feel free to continue to come here and share with us. We are here for you. :42:

Gracie
10-22-2007, 10:11 AM
Welcome TeeJay! Glad to have you with us!

I only have one comment:

What should I do? He demands I stop drinking or I get help, because he's stick of the abuse and rightly so. What should I do? I work 10-13 hour days over an hour from home. I am gome from 7 to 8 or 9. I don't have time for meetings or... anything.

Us alcoholics, we've got all the time in the world to drink, be drunk and care for our hangover......but we just don't have time for anything else!!

Okay, 2 comments :mrgreen:

You asked what you should do?? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO??? And to what length are you willing to go to get it??

Keep coming back honey, we're here!

Take care!

searcher230002
10-22-2007, 11:36 AM
"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely."

hello TeeJay. what we have, that you may want is "Sobriety". we who have followed the 12 Step Solution that is Alcoholics Anonymous, have "recovered" from the seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that dependence upon alcohol/drugs produced in us.
please pay particular attention to the 1st sentence of the above excerpt from the Big Book of AA..........you must "want it", & not just need it, in order for the program to help you recover. there are many who "need" the program, but it only works for those of us who "want" it, & are willing to go to any lengths neccessary to work the 12 Steps to "Recovery", & a newfound "Freedom" from the bonds of alcoholism........i wish you the best of luck TeeJay, & i hope you will make the decision that is right for you...........bc

kaistevens
11-24-2007, 06:46 AM
I'm Kai, I'm an alcoholic.

Sounds like you have a good idea what the problem is, and you appear to have a good idea where to look for the solution. But if you want things to change, YOU are going to have to make changes. Something you could try is reading the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. You don't have to make a commitment to treatment or meetings, just read the book, especially the stories in the back.

Some of the things you are going to read are:
--Alcoholism, the drinking, just always keeps getting worse, never better. This disease just grows and grows.
--All the things that stand in our way of getting help, jobs, families, homes, etc., well, alcoholism will take those from us too. In the stories you will ready over and over again how we loose it all! Everything!
--And, our families, our parents, boyfriends, bosses, etc., we just keep hurting the people we love, hurting them and taking advantage of them. And we end up losing them too.

Alcoholism is a disease, it is 100% fatal if it is untreated. It consumes and devours everything, EVERYTHING, in the life of the drinker. If you don't believe us now, maybe you will down the road.

I hope you find your solution. I hope you find it before you give up everything to alcohol, but no matter which way you choose, we'll be here for you when you are ready.

I pray for you. Keep coming back.

craig
11-24-2007, 06:32 PM
So you think you do not have time for meetings,that is your business! You will not get any sympathy from me! I have heard it said that sympathy is in the dictionary between s**t and syphylis. To drink is to die. Can't get u sober! Can't get u drunk! Only you or a higher power can. Last paragraph of co-founder Dr. Bob's personal story in 4th edition of Big Book states if you are willing to put half the effort and zeal to get sober; as you were willing to get your next drink;you will be successful in your recovery from alcohol.

tlyn
11-25-2007, 01:04 PM
My husband and family all told me I need to quit drinking and get help. Boy i sure didn't like hearing that even though I knew it to be true. I went to great lengths to keep drinking and put off getting help. Finally i grew tired of fighting and being sick and beat up. I had to want to get better. Walking into a meeting was not easy, but it saved my life. I pray for you to want to get better.