Help

[garfieldslove]

I have been depressed lately and I don't know why I stated eating and gained my weight back and want to go back smoking crack cocaine. Deep down I really don't want to smoke crack but it seems my only way out I go to NA meetings but only one or two people go as I am from a small town. Please help I don't want to end up dead.

[admin]

Hi garfieldslove, Have you seen a doctor about your depression? If you have and you don't feel you are getting any better then I suggest going back to see your doctor again. I have been to small meetings before and found them very helpful. Please feel free to continue to come and share with us. We are here for you. :42:

[hotelhobbies]

Hello garfieldslove,

I understand what you are going through. Crack was my DOC at the end and since leaving a recovery center 2 months ago I have gained 50 pounds. Doing the things I need to do have helped me through this; talking with my sponsor and going to meetings and praying. There are several meetings I go to because they are small. I am still new to recovery and I have found out it is easier for me to share my thoughts in a small group. Remember that you do not have to use ever again. The feelings of depression are a normal part of the recovery process called Post Acute Withdraw Syndrome. If the feelings are prolonged you should talk with your doctor because there will be something that they can do help you through this time. My best thoughts and prayers go out to you!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! Keep coming back!!!

Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths."

[clean42day]

Garfieldsdove......did I see in your profile that you are almost 2 months clean? There is such a thing as short term and long term withdrawals and you body is still adjusting to being clean and sober - being depressed in the beginning is part of that process and is very normal for crack withdrawals. it may seem more pronounced because you are experiencing it completely aware of yourself and your feelings without your normal escape route and that makes is seem more intense. plus gaining weight is par for the course when you are in your first year also. your body is trying to compensate for all the time you abused it and quite often, especially with crack and meth addicts, biologically it will go into conservation mode tyring to squeeze every last ounce of "energy" out of the food you eat - because in a way your body is anticipating the next "run"....and wants to store up for it.


The same thing happened to me - please know that being depressed and gaining weight are part of the withdrawal - if you were happy and fit as a fiddle at month 2 I would ask what is really going on? you are going to experience some discomfort the first year - but please know it will pass......... and if it doesn't over the long term - then I would say it might be something other than withdrawals and to see a doctor.

instead of looking for reasons and justifications to get loaded - like you feel you want to.....play that tape all the way through..........

you can also look for reasons to stay clean and play that tape all the way through too.

I would rather be a little overweight and have a chance to get over the hump of depression and have a chance at life

Than be loaded, skinny again with nothing to look forward to but death and destruction.

You can do this...........Please keep going to meetings, or any kind of support groups you can find in your area and if you have to drive to another area to bigger meetings. Don't give up, just cause you feel it...doesn't mean you have to act on those feelings.

light and love and good luck

Gail

here is some information on the withdrawal symptoms

The withdrawal symptoms of cocaine are emotional.There are no physical withdrawal symptoms from cocaine, which is why people sometimes trick themselves into thinking they aren't addicted to it. "I'm not physically addicted to cocaine." But there's no physical addiction and non-physical addiction – there's just addiction. All addiction occurs in the brain.

Even though there are no physical withdrawal symptoms, cocaine still satisfies the criteria of addiction. People have difficulty controlling how much they use, and they continue to use even though it has negative consequences to their life.

The emotional withdrawal symptoms of cocaine are:

Tiredness
Depression
Anxiety
Moodiness

Post-acute withdrawal. Look at the post-acute withdrawal page to learn about those symptoms and how to deal with them. The post-acute withdrawal symptoms for cocaine are similar to those of other drugs:

Mood swings
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Poor concentration
Sleep disturbances

post acute withdrawal information link: http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Relapse Prevention
The Stages of Relapse
Relapse is a process, it's not an event. In order to understand relapse prevention you have to understand the stages of relapse. Relapse starts weeks or even months before the event of physical relapse. In this page you will learn how to use specific relapse prevention techniques for each stage of relapse. There are three stages of relapse.(19)

Emotional relapse
Mental relapse
Physical relapse
Emotional Relapse
In emotional relapse, you're not thinking about using. But your emotions and behaviors are setting you up for a possible relapse in the future.

The signs of emotional relapse are:

Anxiety
Intolerance
Anger
Defensiveness
Mood swings
Isolation
Not asking for help
Not going to meetings
Poor eating habits
Poor sleep habits
The signs of emotional relapse are also the symptoms of post-acute withdrawal. If you understand post-acute withdrawal it's easier to avoid relapse, because the early stage of relapse is easiest to pull back from. In the later stages the pull of relapse gets stronger and the sequence of events moves faster.

Early Relapse Prevention
Relapse prevention at this stage means recognizing that you're in emotional relapse and changing your behavior. Recognize that you're isolating and remind yourself to ask for help. Recognize that you're anxious and practice relaxation techniques. Recognize that your sleep and eating habits are slipping and practice self-care.

If you don't change your behavior at this stage and you live too long in the stage of emotional relapse you'll become exhausted, and when you're exhausted you will want to escape, which will move you into mental relapse.

Practice self-care. The most important thing you can do to prevent relapse at this stage is take better care of yourself. Think about why you use. You use drugs or alcohol to escape, relax, or reward yourself. Therefore you relapse when you don't take care of yourself and create situations that are mentally and emotionally draining that make you want to escape.

For example, if you don't take care of yourself and eat poorly or have poor sleep habits, you'll feel exhausted and want to escape. If you don't let go of your resentments and fears through some form of relaxation, they will build to the point where you'll feel uncomfortable in your own skin. If you don't ask for help, you'll feel isolated. If any of those situations continues for too long, you will begin to think about using. But if you practice self-care, you can avoid those feelings from growing and avoid relapse.

Mental Relapse
In mental relapse there's a war going on in your mind. Part of you wants to use, but part of you doesn't. In the early phase of mental relapse you're just idly thinking about using. But in the later phase you're definitely thinking about using.

The signs of mental relapse are:

Thinking about people, places, and things you used with
Glamorizing your past use
Lying
Hanging out with old using friends
Fantasizing about using
Thinking about relapsing
Planning your relapse around other people's schedules
It gets harder to make the right choices as the pull of addiction gets stronger.


Techniques for Dealing with Mental Urges
Play the tape through. When you think about using, the fantasy is that you'll be able to control your use this time. You'll just have one drink. But play the tape through. One drink usually leads to more drinks. You'll wake up the next day feeling disappointed in yourself. You may not be able to stop the next day, and you'll get caught in the same vicious cycle. When you play that tape through to its logical conclusion, using doesn't seem so appealing.

A common mental urge is that you can get away with using, because no one will know if you relapse. Perhaps your spouse is away for the weekend, or you're away on a trip. That's when you're addiction will try to convince you that you don't have a big problem, and that you're really doing your recovery just to please your spouse or your work. Play the tape through. Remind yourself of the negative consequences you've already suffered, and the potential consequences that lie around the corner if you relapse again. If you could control your use, you would have done it by now.

Tell someone that you're having urges to use. Call a friend, a support, or someone in recovery. Share with them what you're going through. The magic of sharing is that the minute you start to talk about what you're thinking and feeling, your urges begin to disappear. They don't seem quite as big and you don't feel as alone.

Distract yourself. When you think about using, do something to occupy yourself. Call a friend. Go to a meeting. Get up and go for a walk. If you just sit there with your urge and don't do anything, you're giving your mental relapse room to grow.

Wait for 30 minutes. Most urges usually last for less than 15 to 30 minutes. When you're in an urge, it feels like an eternity. But if you can keep yourself busy and do the things you're supposed to do, it'll quickly be gone.

Do your recovery one day at a time. Don't think about whether you can stay abstinent forever. That's a paralyzing thought. It's overwhelming even for people who've been in recovery for a long time.

One day at a time, means you should match your goals to your emotional strength. When you feel strong and you're motivated to not use, then tell yourself that you won't use for the next week or the next month. But when you're struggling and having lots of urges, and those times will happen often, tell yourself that you won't use for today or for the next 30 minutes. Do your recovery in bite-sized chunks and don't sabotage yourself by thinking too far ahead.

Physical Relapse
Once you start thinking about relapse, if you don't use some of the techniques mentioned above, it doesn't take long to go from there to physical relapse. Driving to the liquor store. Driving to your dealer.

It's hard to stop the process of relapse at that point. That's not where you should focus your efforts in recovery. That's achieving abstinence through brute force. But it is not recovery. If you recognize the early warning signs of relapse, and understand the symptoms of post-acute withdrawal, you'll be able to catch yourself before it's too late.

[Montauktammy]

You have taken something out of your body that was killing you but your body was thinking it was helping it go to meetings get a sponsor work the steps

[kaistevens]

I'm Kai, I'm an alcoholic.

I worked in a medical detox center for three months. I loved the work, it sure gave me a clear picture everyday of where I don't want to go back to. The #1 complaint of the women was that they were gaining weight. People were coming in there, literally dying, and once the shakes and sweats would stop, they would start to obsess about their weight. Its sad when women put themselves under so much pressure to measure up to some ideal that has been put in their head.

My younger sister is 35, she has been dieting in one way or another since we were in high school. By the time her oldest daughter was ten, she was looking in the mirror and worrying about being fat (she's never been even chubby).

I have a friend in the program who was balimic (sp?) a teen. It messed up her body and now she has some extra weight on her that just will not go away. She still has to deal with it. It is as much of an addictive obsession as the drugs and alcohol were.

Self-acceptence and self-love are so important. Seeing the beauty in the mirror takes time. I see beautiful people every day, I am surrounded by them everywhere I go. We are all different shapes and sizes for a reason. I just know that the people I meet in this program, who have found serenity and happiness in their life aren't the people who look like super models, they are the people who have learned to love and accept themselves exactly as they are.

Beauty comes from the inside. We've all heard that and I used to roll my eyes when some one said it to me, but I have seen it in this program. I see women come around with their hair, and clothes, and make up just right, looking like a million bucks; but anyone can see the misery, and hate, and anger in them from a block away. People with serenity glow, it shines in their walk, their face, their eyes, their gestures.

There is nothing attractive about sickly. Healthy is always attractive and healthy has to start on the inside.

[Pammama50]

:195:I'm Kai, I'm an alcoholic.

I worked in a medical detox center for three months. I loved the work, it sure gave me a clear picture everyday of where I don't want to go back to. The #1 complaint of the women was that they were gaining weight. People were coming in there, literally dying, and once the shakes and sweats would stop, they would start to obsess about their weight. Its sad when women put themselves under so much pressure to measure up to some ideal that has been put in their head.

My younger sister is 35, she has been dieting in one way or another since we were in high school. By the time her oldest daughter was ten, she was looking in the mirror and worrying about being fat (she's never been even chubby).

I have a friend in the program who was balimic (sp?) a teen. It messed up her body and now she has some extra weight on her that just will not go away. She still has to deal with it. It is as much of an addictive obsession as the drugs and alcohol were.

Self-acceptence and self-love are so important. Seeing the beauty in the mirror takes time. I see beautiful people every day, I am surrounded by them everywhere I go. We are all different shapes and sizes for a reason. I just know that the people I meet in this program, who have found serenity and happiness in their life aren't the people who look like super models, they are the people who have learned to love and accept themselves exactly as they are.

Beauty comes from the inside. We've all heard that and I used to roll my eyes when some one said it to me, but I have seen it in this program. I see women come around with their hair, and clothes, and make up just right, looking like a million bucks; but anyone can see the misery, and hate, and anger in them from a block away. People with serenity glow, it shines in their walk, their face, their eyes, their gestures.

There is nothing attractive about sickly. Healthy is always attractive and healthy has to start on the inside.

[hairdrezer03]

Hi everyone,
My name is Sheri and I am an alcololic ad addict. I got sober in Milwaukee and now I live in Oklahoma city. Anybody out there from either place?

[lala]

Have you gone to any out of town meetings? Enlarge your support group, go to some new meetings. You are doing the right thing. Use the steps on your food addiction also. It works. You're not alone.

[kaistevens]

Hello Sheri, I'm Kai, and I'm an alcoholic.

I live in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. The recovery here rocks!!!

Love ya later, Kai

[dragonflygrl]

Remember ....."JUST FOR TODAY I NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN". This too shall pass. Keep going to meetings..and you can do other 12step meeting too. The steps are the same..just apply liberally to wound. LOL. We have all...and I do mean..all gone through this phase. You can do this!! You are worthy of all good things real and beautiful!! Just for today I do not have to use!! Just for 5 minutes (if thats what it takes) I do not have to use again. Let us know how you are doing....please...we really do care and want to know. Much love!!