Yes I know stupid me with a new comer

[Montauktammy]

I have 6 year I got involved with a new comer with under a year now I fell in love with him and he is done with me moving on to his next relationship how do I stop feeling like I want to be with him yes working my steps yes with a sponsor Yes I know stupid me with a new comer I know what I did wrong now how to move on from here I can't stand to sit in meeting with him I get sick to my stomach. I can't eat and I can't sleep I feel like I got 15 minutes this is not easy

[craig]

This too shall pass!

[Montauktammy]

feelings still suck after 6 years but i knew i could not keep doing what i knew was wrong

[dalin]

Keep coming...it does get better

[Gracie]

I have 6 year I got involved with a new comer with under a year now I fell in love with him and he is done with me moving on to his next relationship how do I stop feeling like I want to be with him yes working my steps yes with a sponsor Yes I know stupid me with a new comer I know what I did wrong now how to move on from here I can't stand to sit in meeting with him I get sick to my stomach. I can't eat and I can't sleep I feel like I got 15 minutes this is not easy

It all takes time Montauktammy! It took you 6 years to get 6 years of sobriety....One day at a time!

He too shall pass :wink:

Hang in there!!

[cassie]

We all make mistakes. When they are done, we can't change them. Serenity prayer becomes mantra. Said over and over again, it will sink in and you will believe. God (please) grant me . . . .

You have learned and have grown from it. Though painful, it is often necessary for us to get to another level. Please try to avoid beating yourself up. I know it is hard. I still have bruises from last week about something I did. It is a case of following the suggestions of those who "have the T-shirt" so to speak.

This program works. Many are testament to that. I hope you keep coming back to share.

cassie
grateful recovering alcoholic

[Gentlewind]

Montauktammy,
I am on the other side of your issue. I am the new guy, and I am crazy about someone who has 5 years. I am doing everything I can to keep myself from saying anything to this person because I am told it is more of an obsession than anything else. One thing I do know, and you have helped me with it, is that I don't want to hurt anyone. So thank you for sharing. There are no coincidences, and you may very well have just helped 2 alcoholics. Feel good about yourself!

[Humblepie]

Following your feelings for this person doesn't make you stupid it makes you human. I do agree with the suggestions in AA but we are not experts on everything. I can't imagine anyone thinking you are or were wrong for being in this relationship.

I don't think you can stop feeling like you want to be with him. As Craig and Dalin have said, this too shall pass, it does get better. It takes time Montauktammy. You will get over him. I don't know if this is the greatest advice but after my brake up with my wife of 15 years the only thing that worked for me was to keep busy and try and not think of her 24/7. It took me two years but that was after 15 years so I hope it doesn't take you that long. Nobody likes rejection or being alone so I understand how you feel.

Good luck and keep coming back. :85:

[DianaMarie7968]

hope this help, but its kinda a reverse I was the newcommer and this guy has 13 years and i had 60 days clean, left home, while i was in recovery, and "Thought" I was in love with this guy, now for me, I'm Na and its suggested that anyone ith long enough time to know(we all fall short), that 13 steppin isnt good for the new commer.
I'm sorry your hurting, its hard to go to the same meeting , I know cuz i joined the same group that he was a member in not relizing, anyways i broke it off because my sponcer told me he did that to all the new girls, well i held a resentment against him for 3 months, feeling sick to my stomach to shaking uncontrollably, but it passed, and i was able to get through it, everything passes sister, hang in there be strong! love Diana

[Humblepie]

I just stumbled across this one and thought I would share it with you.

"Dating is like pouring Miracle Grow on my character defects."

Hope that makes sense to you.