Two weeks and counting!

[Elizabeth E.]

So here’s my story, to date. My name is Elizabeth. I’m an alcoholic. I’ve probably been on my way there for a long time for lots of reasons, but I’ve finally decided it needs to end now. I’ve been sober for 14 days and it feels great, I look healthy and its nice to wake up in the morning and actually remember all of the night before. As alcoholics go, I was pretty “functional”. (Managed to fake it well to the rest of the world, most of the time.) After drinking quite heavily (up to a litre and a half of wine/day), for the last few years, I detoxed with only a headache for several days as a physical symptom. The longings to hold a glass of wine in my hand is something else altogether! The worst time for me is when driving home from work. I have this little voice that tells me that it would be alright if I bought a small bottle and just had one glass. Right! When is the last time I’ve had just one glass?
I finally reached my own quitting point when I woke up two weeks ago with a serious contusion on my hairline that hurt like the dickens. I had, and still have, absolutely no idea how it happened, where it happened or what I hit. It scared me to death! I’d fallen asleep (passed out, I guess) late at night after drinking before, but at least I had always had a hazy recollection of getting up later and coming to bed. All I could think was that I could have a concussion, or could have really hurt myself, and then everybody would know. That seems to be what really scares me. I’m not ready yet to bare my soul at an AA meeting, although reading the postings here are making me consider it seriously more than I every have.
My home life isn’t great—spouse not very supportive or communicative, but that problem predated the drinking. It only made it worse, and the drinking worse as I tried to numb everything. Changes due there too, but one life change at a time please!
Thank you everyone for listening. Wish me continued willpower. Thank you too for all of the sharing you all do. It is a good thing!

[dalin]

Keep Coming Back!
This sight can help.
Meetings help alot.

[admin]

:67: Elizabeth! :17: Glad to have you join us here. Congratulations on 14 days! :29: Please make yourself at home here. We do have some online meetings here http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/chat_mainpage.php if you wish to check out some online meetings. You will find the meeting schedule here http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/chatmeet.php . We didn't get the way we were overnight so to change will take time. Keep hanging in there taking it one day at a time. Feel free to continue to share with us here. We are here for you. :42:

[cassie]

Wishing you good things and that you stay with your plan of recovery. :195:

I do know you can't do it alone. If you try, everyone is going to find out anyway. I have scars from falls. Too many. Ones I remember and ones I don't. When the addiction won, everyone I knew found out. I was in a DUI with serious bodily injury. Restitution. The whole nine yards, so to speak.

So humility, gratitude and grace brought me to AA. Where I found hope, life and a new way to conduct my daily business. I have taken a break from the boards, but once again, they are part of my daily routine.

I hope you keep reading and truly know, you are not alone.


cassie
grateful recovering alcoholic

[Julie193]

Hi Elizabeth,

I know how you feel about the AA meetings. I have wanted to go for a couple years. I finally went Oct 29 for the first time and it was so different than I thought it would be. I cannot believe I didn't go sooner. I was ashamed at the things I had done while drinking, and embarrased at the way I had "hidden" my drinking. I've only be sober a whole 3 days. I wish I could say it was 14!

This site has been so good for me as a newcomer because there is so much information. It is also nice to be able to attend meetings on line.

Thanks for your story....I so can relate. I was the liter -plus wine drinker too! Key word ....was!:smile:

I

[sonny]

Well done on the 14 days Elizabeth.

Just keeping being open to the answers an they will come. Hope you get the chance toet to a meeting, do not fear about sharing-you don't have to, its up to you. Just mixing with people that understand is amazing.

take care and keep coming back

:1: