Jessanotheraddict
10-28-2007, 11:50 PM
Recovery is Hard! Staying clean is even harder. I have hit a few bumps in the road...expectedly! I have almost come to terms with my addiction. This disease is the hardest cross to bear. Excepting it, admitting it, and dealing with everyday life - SOBER, is not fun or exciting to say the least. I have overcome many things in my life. This above all will be the hardest. Thirty-eight days doesn't seem long to most...but to me it may as well be Thirty-Eight Years. I can't remember the last time I was - coherent and sober for this long. But, I can remember the last time I stayed up for 38 days; without eating, sleeping, or basically functioning as a wife, mother, daughter or friend to those whom have loved me unconditionally! No matter what, I always had someone to cover my tracks; enabling my addictions, and denial of my additions to become a part of my everday struggle. I, in the past used every EXCUSE imaginable as to why I used. I have even gone so far as to say OUT LOUD..."I can quit whenever I gert ready, that was a crock! I now live everyday in SOBRIETY, as painful as it may be it still feels GOOD!:85: