back to AA after relapse

[tlyn]

I would like to hear from others about how they dealt with going back to meetings after a relapse. I have been in meetings for coming up on 90 days. I have made it 19 days, then 39 days, am now on 9 days. I really think the meetings were helping, but then why did I fall? Now am nervous about going back.

[rockergirl]

I realized after a few attempts at recovery that the meetings alone were not working.I had to do what was suggested first I had to surrender to my higher
power and get honest,get a sponsor and work the steps.Once I did that my life improved and now after 3yrs clean and sober I am grateful I did.
Toni

[admin]

I had to do what was suggested first I had to surrender to my higher
power and get honest,get a sponcer and work the steps.

:115:

I also went back with the attitude that what others said, thought or did was none of my business. What others said or thought about me was none of my business. I went back for me and to save my life. My sponsor told me I could go back and take my seat and I didn't have to say anything if I didn't want to. She told me I had earn my seat and to take it. And that's what I did.

[janbear]

Hi tyln, After my last relapse in '96 i jumped back into meetings, got with my sponsor and started working the steps for my life depended on it.

[DaveH]

tlyn,
After 5 months I went back out. When I came back I was warmly received, in fact at that time AA was one of the few places I was warmly received. This time I got a sponsor. He took me on only after he had asked a few questions. One of them was "Are you serious, are you ready to go to any lengths to stay sober?" I answered yes and was immediately "volunteered" to make coffee for quite a few months. Some time later I asked him what he would have done if I said no. He answered that he would have still offered to be my friend, but would have declined being my sponsor, adding that he saw no reason for us to both waste our time. Looking back it sounded harsh, but that is what I needed. This past Sept I celebrated 20 years of sobriety. I am convinced that once I surrendered, Gobd began providing what I needed. And that type of sponsor is what I needed. Today I consider him one of my best friends. Go back and you will find friends waiting.
Blessings,
DaveH

[admin]

Hey tlyn, Something I would like to share with you is those folks in that meeting, well I can guarantee there are some in there that have been right where you are at. I know I have been. They understand and they are there to help you if you will let them. Just go back, take your seat and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. You know also something I heard was "I never know who's watching me and never always know who I may be helping just by being here." When you do go back, I hope you will come back here and let us know how it went because we care and are here for you. I will be praying for you. :42:

[clean42day]

There is no shame in continueing to go to meetings after a relapse or even during one. I felt the same as you and I expressed that one time while I was talking yet another 24 hour chip - the secretary of the meetings said - would everyone who has relapsed at least once raise thier hand and over half of the meeting did. That is when I knew I was not alone and so unique. unfortunatly the tables have turned and the "unique" ones are the people who "get it" the first time and stay clean. That is not an excuse to relapse - but just stating a simple fact of statistics.

unfortunatley there is another fallacy out there that "meetings" will keep you clean - NOTHING COULD be further from the truth. meetings and fellowshipping are designed to be a "support" system of encouragement while a person gets a sponsor and WORKS THE STEPS.
The steps and the "work" in the program is what brings about a sufficient inner change to maintenance the disease of addiction/alcoholism and begin the shift that it takes to live life "free" from the insanity of the disease.

This can be seen time and time again by people who attend meetings on a regular basis - but fail to work the steps. Commonly known as a dry drunk -They are miserable individuals and their disease is as active as it was while they were drinking and drugging.

This is a "spiritual program" and it takes meetings, step work, a good sponsor and a god of your own understanding to bring about a sufficient spiritual shift in attitude and action. There is no quick fix for the disease - we lived ourselves into self destruction and we have to live ourselves back out of it.

Meetings don't keep me clean and sober - God does and the steps do - I go to meeting to support others on the journey towards freedom and to feel like I belong to something greater than myself while I am on mine.

going to meetings is just one part of a 5 part formula for success.

go to meetings
get a sponsor
work the steps
believe in a higher power
and be a service to others.

the best suggestion I ever took - was GET A SPONSOR AND GET TO WORK!

If you give that 5 part formula your best shot - God will do the rest and you can expect the miracle of recovery to work - only if you WORK AT IT YOURSELF!

just my humble opinion.

light and love

Gail

[tlyn]

Thanks to everyone for sharing. I went to a meeting today, and talked to my sponsor.. everyone was glad I was back, and not dead. This is a matter of my life or death. I think I finally truly understand, accept, and surrender to the FACT!!! That to drink for me is death. Anyway very grateful for the love and support that I found here. I will keep coming back. traci

[admin]

So very glad to hear you went back to your meeting. I am proud of you. :42:

[clean42day]

:cool:Good for you ((((Tyln)))) :29::D:1::12::42::61::211:

[janbear]

:85::42: Tyln

[kaistevens]

I'm Kai, I'm an alcoholic.

No matter what, keep going back. I went through a very tough time my first year with some medical problems. I went to a meeting every night, (except Tues., no meeting on Tues.) and I wasn't very happy about it either. I came to AA because I had no where else to go, and they told me to keep coming back, so I did. They told me not to give up before the miracle, and I would cuss them sometimes, but I would be back the next night, because I had no where else to go.

We all know the drill. We've all seen people come in and out of recovery. I need to hear from people who have gone back out for some more sometimes, they let me know it's still out there, it's strong, it's waiting for me.

Falling down doesn't have to be a failure, it can be a teacher if I let itl

[DianaMarie7968]

Tyln
I'm so glad to hear you went back, i always feel for the addict/alcoholic who deosnt make it back, you did!!! keep comming!!! it works if you work it!!!:29:

[Adamski]

The reason i failed and it took me a quite a few relapses before i began to move a little bit in the right direction each day is because its a disease. I Admitted surrender and powerlessness and it made it much easier, it only started getting better for me when i did. dont pick up the first drink, i know that sounds easier than in reality when every part of you is pulling you in that direction and you feel like throwing in the towel. Get a few phone numbers, think were that first drink will take you. One day a time, all i did was think about getting to bed that night without a drink. It is going to be hard but its a lot easier staying sober then getting sober, your a few days already, well done, just keep getting to meetings, everyday, twice a day whatever it takes, give your self a chance to let the miracle happen, we have all been there and dont think you have failed, add up the all the days you are sober and pat yourself on the back, keep going back, it works if you work it - it has for me.

[tlyn]

Thank you all for your support. 25 days today.:D. I am learning everyday the importance of acceptance and surrender. Accepting that I am Loved and cherished by my HP, God, is an awesome idea. I am accepted right where I am and its ok to be right where I am. This is where I am supposed to be. :15:

[admin]

Congrats on 25 days! Way to go! :29: