Me Too

[recessisover]

Im new to this aspect of recovery.Had 10 and a half years once, blew it. Got 4 years after that, blew it again. Nowadays cant pull 6 good monthes together, so im doing alot of stuff different, some of it right.Look forward to some good experience, strength and hope.

[admin]

:67: recessisover! :17: Glad to have you join us here. I look forward to you sharing more with us. Keep coming back. :42:

[kaistevens]

Jonathan was an old man, had been building houses all his life. He was to retire this month, this was the arrangement he and his boss had made last year. So, he was surprised when his boss came to him and implored him to build for him one last house. This was really important to the boss and he knew Jonathan was ready to get busy with his retirement, but he asked for this one last house as a friend.

He got the plans and evaluated what would be needed. It occured to Jonathan, "this is my last house, and I have been doing this so very long, and I am so very tired, if I take a few shortcuts it won't really make any difference, and no one will ever know but me."

So, he sought out materials that would go together more quickly and with less effort and while they were of a poorer quality, Jonathan knew he had the skills to cover or disguise anything that might not look right. And so he began to build his last house for his good friend.

Jonathan went to work a little grudgingly, and looked for any shortcut he might find; to get this done quickly, to get on with his life, and after all, he had the skills to cover up anything that did not come out right. And this house he built in record time. His long-time boss and life-long friend came to see the finished product, and he praised Jonathan for a job well done.

Finally, the day came, his last final day of work. His friend was there to wish him a good retirement. Then the friend looked at Jonathan and handed him the keys to the house, "This is my retirement gift to you, for all your years of hard work, as my appreciation to you for our successful partner ship and all that we have accomplished together as a team. I wish you many happy years in this your new home."

Jonathan looked at the keys, and then at his friend; how could he have known? He looked at his house, and though it looked masterfully crafted, he knew, what only he knew, that the work was poor quality and that the beauty of it was only an illusion. And this was the house that Jonathan built.

I remember that story every time I hear some one tell me that I only get out of my recovery what I put into it. Because I learned that I am the only one who knows truly what I am putting into it, and I am the one who will spend the rest of my life in my recovery, or die in this hideous disease. So, how I choose to 'build' my recovery, is really only important to me.

[janbear]

:73:Hi recessisover. I am Jan. Your post reminds me of myself, a little. I relapsed after a 1 and a half years, then i got 6 years and relapsed. Now i do things very different. I definitely needed a change of how i was doing things, because something wasnt working. I realized later with the help of my sponsor that i was hung up on a Step in the program. She guided me through it and the rest of the steps.
I beat myself up bad at each of my relapses, especially after the 6 years. I had to put the stick down i was using on myself and just start over a day at a time. All any of us has is "One day at a Time". Hang in there and keep coming back.