luba
12-02-2007, 10:32 AM
I am SO glad I found this place! I am a Wife (married to a good man for forty years), Mother (two great men) and a Grandmother (two wonderful, joyous granddaughters, twelve and four years of age.)
For years and years I have not remembered much of my childhood, buried it deeply somewhere and went on with my life. For some reason, memories of my disturbed childhood are rearing up a lot and some of the same ones over and over again.
I always think that things happen for a reason, and the people that I meet are there to teach me something. It wasn't until I was dumped by a negative friend who was so high maintenance that these memories started coming to me.
I researched the Internet for the Characteristics of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and just cried when this one came up that was especially totally me:
"Are extremely loyal; even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved"
I was there for her through ALL her problems for three years and she ended the relationship with such cruelty I just couldn't believe it. One of the things she said to me was 'that I was never there when she needed me'. My God, if I was there any more than I was, I would be living in her house! I was so shocked. I felt that I turned myself inside out for her, and it wasn't enough.
But the positive thing is, all that transpired brought me here to help find why I go so far out of my way with my negative or bitter-for-life 'friends' and not spend enough time with the wonderful, positive friends I do have, which I am NOW doing....and I might add, that I feel so free now that she's gone from my life! I feel so much lighter now and the sad part of all this is, if she didn't dump me in the way she did, I would have tried to make it up with her and let her drain my energy for the rest of my life. How sad is that?
For years and years I have not remembered much of my childhood, buried it deeply somewhere and went on with my life. For some reason, memories of my disturbed childhood are rearing up a lot and some of the same ones over and over again.
I always think that things happen for a reason, and the people that I meet are there to teach me something. It wasn't until I was dumped by a negative friend who was so high maintenance that these memories started coming to me.
I researched the Internet for the Characteristics of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and just cried when this one came up that was especially totally me:
"Are extremely loyal; even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved"
I was there for her through ALL her problems for three years and she ended the relationship with such cruelty I just couldn't believe it. One of the things she said to me was 'that I was never there when she needed me'. My God, if I was there any more than I was, I would be living in her house! I was so shocked. I felt that I turned myself inside out for her, and it wasn't enough.
But the positive thing is, all that transpired brought me here to help find why I go so far out of my way with my negative or bitter-for-life 'friends' and not spend enough time with the wonderful, positive friends I do have, which I am NOW doing....and I might add, that I feel so free now that she's gone from my life! I feel so much lighter now and the sad part of all this is, if she didn't dump me in the way she did, I would have tried to make it up with her and let her drain my energy for the rest of my life. How sad is that?