Hello...New here

[loocoti]

Hello my name is Sue. I'm fairly new to recovery in general. I suppose about 3 months now with 2 relapses in the past week. I went to a treatment center and asked for help on my own with my drinking problem. I don't believe that I am an alcoholic (although others may beg to differ) but I do realize that I have a problem with drinking because I was drinking a lot and blacking out often. Anyway...I believe that my main issue is with benzos and I am not sure that I am at the point of surrendering yet although I would really like to. It is a mixed feeling of wanting to, yet having that addictive mind set.

I do attend meetings, however I find them to be boring. I don't have a sponser and haven't found anyone that I would desire to be my sponser. My counselor is pushing for me to keep going to these meetings to build a support system, but I guess I still am not really "getting it." I hope to though.

I keep lookiing for new and interesting information to try to keep me in line and out of trouble which is why I am here. I found this site last night and decided it looked interesting once I glanced around. I am interested in the "steps." I am told it is better to find a sponser to work the steps with, but I am not such a trusting person and I don't like to put my "stuff" out there all like that in person so I might be better off trying to do it alone or here online.

Well that's enough for now. I am going to browse around for a bit. Thanks for listening.

Sue:smile:

[admin]

:67: Sue! :17: Glad to have you join us. There have been alot of us who have been right where you are at now. I remember not believing I was an alcoholic and that I just had a problem with drinking. Down the road a few years later I came to believe and accept that I was an alcoholic. That is a decision you have to make for yourself. Take a look around here and make yourself at home. Feel free to ask any questions you may have and to share with us. I suggest to you to keep going to your meetings. Keep coming back here. We care. :42:

[lovdogs20]

Welcome to the group and to recovery, A suggestion would be to read the DR opionion in the Big book of aa. Its a good read and may help you understand alcoholism. Please keep coming back.
:tongue::tongue:

[admin]

:67: lovdogs20! :17: Glad to have you join us here. I look forward to you sharing more with us. Keep coming back. :42:

[Humblepie]

Hi Sue, thanks for sharing with us.I believe that my main issue is with benzos and I am not sure that I am at the point of surrendering yet although I would really like to. It is a mixed feeling of wanting to, yet having that addictive mind set.
Wanting to quit and not wanting to quit at the same time is normal, I have been doing that for years.

"All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals usually brief were inevitably followed by still less control." "Over any considerable period we get worse, never better."

Big Book
Chapter 3
More About Alcoholism
I do attend meetings, however I find them to be boring. I don't have a sponser and haven't found anyone that I would desire to be my sponser. My counselor is pushing for me to keep going to these meetings to build a support system, but I guess I still am not really "getting it." I hope to though.
It is good to see that you have hope you will get it. Willingness is all you need to get started even if you don't get it right away. Not all of us do. Just keep coming back. This site has helped me when I was ready to drink again and I'm sure it can help you.

Looking forward to seeing you around and don't let a slip stop you from coming back.....ok? :42:

[dubugz]

I can totally identify

I'm Debbie and I'm an addict. Those words sound easy now... but wow back in my early recovery...

I guess I had about 10 or 12 days clean, was going to meetings, had no clue what people were talking about. I didn't "get it". I was sitting next to a really nice guy who I had spoken to several times. They did the opening readings, asked who was new, just coming back etc. I raised my hand, told everyone I was an addict and had a handful of days clean. Then the chairperson said that it was a closed meeting for addicts only. I stood to walk out. The guy next to me tugged on my jacket and asked me where I was going

I told him it was a closed meeting for addicts only, and I had to leave. He laughed, told me I was in the right place and to sit back down.

I honestly don't know if I would be here today if it wasn't for him letting me know that I didn't make it to the rooms by accident, I earned my seat and that as bad as it was for me out there, it could definitely get worse if I didn't stop using.

I don't believe in killing our wounded. If the rooms were just for those of us who picked up one white chip... (fill in the rest). Addiction isn't about the substances we used.

I'm glad you had the courage to let people know that you're new and struggling Sue. Thank you for being here.

[loocoti]

Thanks for all the warm welcomings. :) I am glad to be here and glad to have found a place to come where it is calm and serene. As I said I do go to a D&A group. I go 3 times a week, but today it was just crazy! People yelling and talking over one another...I don't like it very much. Actually, when I leave there I want to use because I feel so stressed out. Going in, I feel as if I should take a couple benzos just to try to stay calm.

At any rate, it is good to find a place where I can come and I can talk and I can also get good information at the same time.

Thanks again for making me feel so welcome. :)

Sue