New to the forum. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic.

[RN6780]

Hello everyone. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, but it's good to know that I'm not alone. I'm 27 years old. I'm a nurse. I love my career. Overall, I have a good life. However, most people have no idea what's going on on the inside. On November 18, 2007 I experienced an emotional breakdown that has been coming for a long time. I couldn't stop crying for days. I felt hopeless. Professionally, I'm successful. However, I felt like an absolute failure in my personal life. I have this insatiable need to feel loved that I could not explain. I sought professional help to figure out what was wrong with me. My therapist told me everything made perfect sense. My father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother had issues of her own as well. It was a huge relief to finally know what was making me feel the way I felt. However, all the feelings repressed my entire life is now on the surface. Confronting my "demons" is so much harder than I thought it would be. I try to take it one day at a time. I have finished reading Adult Children of Alcoholics. Reading that book was like staring into a mirror. At times, the reality of the situation is hard to handle. I'm now reading Facing Codependence. Being codependent is such a painful existance. I've had one failed relationship after the other after the other. I'm currently in a serious relationship with an amazing man. He's supportive and patient. My recent actions, although unintentional, have been straining our relationship. I'm fearful I will lose him because of all my unresolved issues. Codependence has sabotaged my life over and over, but I'm not going to let it get the best of me anymore. I'm so glad I have this forum as another outlet, and to connect with others who feel the way I do. Here's to new beginnings!

[admin]

:67: RN6780! :17: So very glad to have you join us here. Please feel free to keep coming and sharing with us. :42:

[wjk110952@hotmail.com]

Hi Luba
Just to let you know your not alone. My father committed suicide 3 months before I was born & mother is a chronic alcoholic/ addict all of my life. I have suffered with addiction
since I was 13 which adds up to a sick and inane family. I am approaching 50 & I currently have 11 months sober after more relapses than I can count.I thought that once I got clean my problems would [I][B][B]go away. No such luck!!! I face shame,guilt,remorse etc more now than ever. Some days I feel like not getting out of bed. Maybe we can talk more if you want? I am currently recovering from a broken wrist so I can chat whenever you feel like talking.
Lots of Love!!!
James

[kaistevens]

Hey. I am an adult child, of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, lucky me, I am an alcoholic as well. Don't let those "Deamons" fool you. This is a family disease, it is a sickness. So that means, I'm not a failure, I'm not 'bad', and I'm not crazy. I'm sick.

That is not just a cop out either. When I find out I'm sick, I find out what changes I need to make in my life, lifestyle, to get better.

We are all broken in some way when we get to this place, but none of us is too broken to get better, if we are just willing to do the things that have worked for all those who came before us.

Keep coming back. Kai:171:

[speaking_up_n_out]

Hi RN! I was 28 years old when I discovered I was an "adult child of an alcoholic", even though it was right there in front of my face nearly every day. 99% of my family is an alcoholic or affected by one, my family has never looked at my mother in any bad light, its always been me. I'm not an alcoholic, I don't like the smell of beer but I definitely have my own addiction. I started al-anon when I was 28 and life has been getting better since then.. I'd never imagined I'd be where I am today.. I know I'm flawed but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Glad you are here RN, you are definitely not alone!!

[david monteith]

hi my name is david
i read your post and immediately wanted to share with you.i have been in the fellowship of aa for just over 11 years and recently joined acoa. there has been so much insight along the way.i have come to understand and accept the flaw i was born with,and within that flaw everything that came with it,the alcoholism,drug abuse,broken relationships ,it goes on and on.
i came from a beautiful home,the home of my grandparents,scottish and irish.i
was raised in scotland and as a young man came to southern africa. il ived a life of self destruction and ultimately paid the price.i ran away from society at the age of 42,i begged and lived on the outers for a few years and eventually found shelter as a farm labourer in the southern cape, a long way from home,lost,a long long journey.
i found aa , i found my higher power,i found a home,i live in a miracle.
i found david.my grannie,s name was elisabeth. my baby girls name is elizabeth.she was born last year.my mom left me when i less than a year old.
her name was mary,elizabeth's little sister mary will be born next month god willing.today i am 55 years old and able to live with my flaws and work on my defects.
david