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12-05-2007, 05:07 PM
by Joan C. Webb
Adjusting to a New System
Psalm 25:20 "Let me not be ashamed...for my trust (is) in You" (Amplified).
"What a relief!" said Betty. "I no longer must strive for what will never happen. I now realize I can never be the ideal mother or employee. But my family and boss do not understand it yet."
We people-pleasers and perfectionists have taught those around us to play a defective game. Our obsessive doing and performing made life easier for them, yet harder for us. Once we refuse to play this game, others may react negatively. My friend, Betty, was experiencing this dilemma.
"My son didn't get up when his alarm sounded. I told him I wasn't going to come into his room five times to wake him up. He left late and peeved. "Last week when I got the flu and went to bed, my boss complained. I was tempted to get up and go into work. However, I stayed put till I was better. "My daughter wants help with her 'last minute' sewing project, but I have pre-scheduled plans and I'm not changing them. "This is difficult for me, I still feel the shame of not 'giving' more. But I'm relieved that the long-kept secret is out. I cannot be everything everybody else wants me to be. In the long run this will be better for us all."
God, it looks impossible now.
But I'm trusting you to help us all
adjust to a new healthier system.
Adjusting to a New System
Psalm 25:20 "Let me not be ashamed...for my trust (is) in You" (Amplified).
"What a relief!" said Betty. "I no longer must strive for what will never happen. I now realize I can never be the ideal mother or employee. But my family and boss do not understand it yet."
We people-pleasers and perfectionists have taught those around us to play a defective game. Our obsessive doing and performing made life easier for them, yet harder for us. Once we refuse to play this game, others may react negatively. My friend, Betty, was experiencing this dilemma.
"My son didn't get up when his alarm sounded. I told him I wasn't going to come into his room five times to wake him up. He left late and peeved. "Last week when I got the flu and went to bed, my boss complained. I was tempted to get up and go into work. However, I stayed put till I was better. "My daughter wants help with her 'last minute' sewing project, but I have pre-scheduled plans and I'm not changing them. "This is difficult for me, I still feel the shame of not 'giving' more. But I'm relieved that the long-kept secret is out. I cannot be everything everybody else wants me to be. In the long run this will be better for us all."
God, it looks impossible now.
But I'm trusting you to help us all
adjust to a new healthier system.