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dalin
12-06-2007, 03:26 AM
:16:
SELFLESS SERVICE
Service in N.A. has been one learning experience after another for me. From my very first service commitment and continuing on today, I'm learning more about myself, things I do well & things I've had to accept about that I'm not real good at. I'm still working at it. Through service commitments with others a loving God has revealed things to me that I need to accept about others.

Throughout our literature the word "WE" is used instead of "I". Understanding that it is through a group conscience that God expresses Himself and not just my own opinion, has helped me in my affairs with others. Being as arrogant, egotistical, self-centered & judgmental as I am, it is difficult to be open-minded to a group conscience because I feel that I know all the right answers.

Realizing that the traditions were formulated to protect us from ourselves I continue to ask questions about how to apply them in my affairs with others.

Reading through the 9th tradition in the original Basic Text (before a lot of things were deleted) it talked about service boards or committees not having the right to rule, decide, dictate, or censor, but rather existing solely to serve the fellowship. In other words, finding out what the fellowship as a whole wants to do and then doing what was decided upon. Doing things in this manner protects us from uncontrolled selfwill by not allowing the few to make the decisions for the many. This made a whole lot of sense to me, noting that some of my best thinking almost killed me. Thank God for a sponsor that I can discuss my decisions with before putting them into action.

N.A. service has truly been a blessing, in that it has allowed my thoughts of self to be switched to thoughts of others and how I can help. It has also taught me about anonymity "a state of bearing no name". In other words, doing something without anyone knowing and not expecting anything in return except the personal satisfaction of knowing I have helped both myself and others by doing the service.

Service was my proving ground for practicing principles that allow me to let someone else do and say what they want without feeling I need to prove them wrong. Acceptance allows me to disagree without becoming disagreeable. Patience & tolerance are valuable tools in most of these situations because people who act like I do tend to irritate me.

As an addict, I have difficulty being humble & selfless because I seem to be constantly looking for something or someone to fulfill my wants and desires, only to find that doing this never fills me up "one is too many and a thousand never enough". Service has allowed me to see that by focusing less on me and more on we I am given a precious gift. Freedom from the core of this disease-SELF-CENTEREDNESS.

CD BUCKBERRY
04-06-2008, 09:11 PM
:idea:It is true you learn a lot about yourself and the statement ,giving back what you have been given by doing service.I am 3 years 4 months clean.I was told in the beginning about doing service and the benefits of doing it.I started setting up the meeting,making coffee,chairing meeting.Now I am GSR of my home group.I also volunteer at the local substance facility driving clients to appointments.It makes you feel good helping someone out. CD BUCKBERRY:269:

Montauktammy
04-07-2008, 10:08 AM
Hay I was talking to this new comer just over 90 day and they where asking me how they can help new comers what can I do if I don't know how to do it yet. Pretty good question if you ask me and they did. I said well you learn you take from people who have time and recovery, the things you want in your recovery and your life you learn how to live the life your higher power wants you to live you learn who you are. Then you keep learning and as you are learning you will see people will ask you something like how did you get through not having custody of your child for 3 years and not use? (Question asked of me many time that is a part of my story) and what I have learn is that I worked the program the steps the traditions made 90 meeting in 90 day then another 90 in 90 after that I had a sponsor who had a sponsor and I learn not to react as quickly, I learn how to think I learned how to pray I learn how to put situations in Gods hands. When I trusted that God knew what was best for me I stared seeking what kind of mother god needed me to be for my child and not just have my child with me like a pawn in a game. I asked humbly God please send my child home she can't live the way she is. ( it stopped being about what I wanted, and stared being about what she needed) then when she came home to me. I started to learn what is was like to take care of my child clean. I am still learning. I am still changing I am still growing, I am hopeful I will not stop learning, changing and growing.