New Here

[jess]

I attempted to get sober a couple months back... even went to an NA meeting in the area. My husband decided that he wanted to go to meetings with me and be a huge part of my sobriety. I didn't want him there in the begining so I never went again. Needless to say I used again and again and again. I have been around the program for 32 years. My dad got sober when I was 4. I started my own addictions at 14 and played sober on and off all through my teen years. I was told once that it was a hinderence to me how well I knew the program because I could talk the talk but I had no clue how to walk the walk. They were right. I used on and off for a good fifteen years. I can honestly say that I did the drugs they didn't do me until about 6 years ago. Percocet and Vicodin. I can't seem to get away from them. This drug is doing me. I am tired. I am ashamed of myself cause I know better. I'm embarrased at the extent I will go. I don't look forward to anything except taking my pills. It's old and I really want to make a change. My family does not know, my husband thinks I have been clean since the last time. I have not called anyone to get more and I have resigned myself to the suffering I am gonna endure over the next couple of days I just need some words of encouragement and strength so that I can keep my resolve strong. I am so scared!!!:sad:

[cryingout]

Jess,

Working on 72 hour clean myself. The first thing I had to do is resolve to be honest with myself and others. Dishonesty keeps me using. I am now learning that I am as sick as my secrets. I am fighting my way back and I can honestly say feeling the way I do today confirms that active addiction is not where I want to be. To thine own self true. Admit Powerlessness once and for all and be free. You are not alone. everything will be alright.

[Misselle]

((Jess)) ((Cryingout))

It sounds as if you are ready to quit finally, Jess. Sometimes it takes awhile. We are here for you!

[admin]

:67: Jess! :17: Glad to have you join us here. It would be wise to let at least one person know you are quitting in case you have any problems when you go through withdrawal. Please feel free to continue to come and share with us here. We are here for you. :42:

[anniemac]

Hi Jess,

I'm glad you're here. "Knowing better" is unfortunately not the solution to addiction. All of the knowledge in the world is not what got me sober; I needed to take actions such as surrendering, being honest, and looking inward at the unpleasant aspects of my personality.

Placing a call to the local NA hotline could help you to walk through this detoxing with support of others in your area.

Blessings,
Anne