Fear

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scots bill:

hi i'm bill
one of the most difficult emmotions i.ve had to deal with is fear,
fear has run through all my life since my earliest memories not a fisical
fear because very little frightens me, the problem area is, fear of failure
fear of not belonging.of not being good enough. so life became . for me an exercise in fear management.the biggest fear was of rejection i never coped with that very well, i lived most of my life through other peoples
eyes i became what ever i thought you wanted me to be, if you wanted a
clown a clown you got, if you wanted someone to cry with you out came
my hanky, i will be any one or any thing, just please do'nt reject me.
from my first drink alcohol took over and i managed my fear with that
it lasted right up until six years before my last drink in that six years
terror set in i could not cope with the suicidal feelings this caused,
after trying a few other avenues, which proved to me that probably no
human power could relieve me of my alcoholism i turned to aa. and for the last nineteen years i have been managing my fears with AA AND
A GOD OF MY OWN UNDERSTANDING. i've put the world down now
i live my life through my own eyes today i try my best not to run the
world and every one in it most of the time what you see is what you get
love in recovert, bill
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Janbear:

I really enjoyed you sharing and i can relate to some of what you say about fear. I know the Big book says that one of the promises is "fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us" It also says that that are being fuliflled among us , sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. My fear of economic insecurity left me quickly i cant say the same with my fear of people. It seems to be a slow process for me. But it is so much better than it used to be. I am a work in progress. Most of the time also, "what you see is what you get"
Thanks again for posting this
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alex e.:

Bill,

Thanks for sharing, I can relate to what you have shared, On e thing heard recently that really struck me, Was I f you have God and faith in your life there is no room for fear. And if you have a lot of fear then there is no room for god. Today I have let my fears creep back in. I've tried to get back in the drivers seat. and no I am getting back in the passenger seat and letting God have the stering wheel back. yes I feel the smae way now what you see is what you get.

With much love your friend in recovery.

Alex
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Troll:

Fear being on a teeter totter with faith. Up goes faith...down goes fear. Not too sure what would happen if fear got off and headed to the swings Laughing Laughing Laughing
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fibiray:

I could sooo relate to this topic. Fear of drinking v fear of not drinking. Fear of sucess v fear of failure. fear of love v fear of rejection. I have learnt for the most part that most of my fears stemmed from how I percieved things. My expectations of myself and everyone around me was so high that there was no way myself or anyone else could met the standard.
It is interesting as currently my husband and I are giving guidance to our teenage son. My husband has had that pep talk about girls and how to deal with rejection if it happens. His apporach was if a girl turns around and says no just smile and go "okeedokee" and walk off. I laughed when I heard this as I thought he was being silly, but ironically there was some profound wisdom there. I include the following reading from 'as bill sees it.'

Fear somehow touched about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread. the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn'y deserve. But did not we often set the ball rolling ourselves. p.61 clap
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cassie:

Hello (((Bill))) Very Happy I, too, did a lot of people pleasing, especially during my years of trying to succeed at a high stress career. I became whatever my job required of me in order to succeed. I listened, and laughed, at jokes I found offensive. Told more than my share. Shocked I was not trying to fit it - I was trying to be the best. I was really good at the social part, especially the drinking. I could, I thought, quell the fear and nervousness of new situations with alcohol. It just kept coming back stronger. And it came back with its destructive friends - anger, resentment and insanity. Twisted Evil Somewhere along the way, I lost the good person I had always thought I could become. Eventually, I lost a lot more.

My Higher Power led me, every painful step of the way, to AA. I only have a small amount of recovery time. But every day, I learn more and more. For that I am grateful. In technical terms, I, too, am trying to become a WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get). Thanks for the post!

Friend in recovery hug
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prescott:

Good Morning All, Fear of..........fill in the blank! The biggest fear I face today is that I'm not doing enough. Than when I look back I see how much I've really done and see that the fear is not justified. But it still continues to haunt me. What you see is what you get and I'm fine with that
cause I know in my heart that today I'm a new man. Acceptence of self and to be accpected by others two different things but so closely related.
Emotions come and they go what happens inbetween is where I find myself. Finding myself has become a full time job and I'm ready for a break. It's time to accept who I am where I am and enjoy the moment. Loosing a spouse has me questioning everything and it's so tiring that I am just about at a place to say get over yourself and move on. Slef questioning oneself becomes exhausting. hug angel hug
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fibiray:

I practice every morning before I do anything, to say this affirmation over and over:-

I LOVE AND APPROVE OF MYSELF JUST THEY WAY I AM!

This helps remove any fears and anything left can be left to those spot checks to identify the defect of character that underlies it.

chow chow angel