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06-19-2006, 07:19 AM
<b>Clean42day</b> - Tue 14 Feb, 2006 2:58 am<br>
<b>Post subject: </b>Learning The Power of Intention<hr class="sep" width="95%">
<span style="color: blue;">Learning The Power of Intention
<br>
By: Jeanie Marshall
<br>
<br>
It was early in my career, for which I am very grateful.
<br>
<br>
I was leading the last three days of a five-day training program
<br>
for US Federal government employees who were mid-level managers
<br>
newly assigned to overseas posts. In the group of 30, there were
<br>
a few seasoned managers, but most had under three years'
<br>
experience managing others.
<br>
<br>
I had designed the training, which included the development of
<br>
some case studies for them to explore in small groups and then
<br>
present to the total group. As they discussed performance issues,
<br>
I noticed attitudes that seemed different from the empowering
<br>
practices I was advocating. Keeping my judgment in check, I asked
<br>
"What is/was your intention?"
<br>
<br>
The first time I asked that question to a man who was talking
<br>
about a specific situation he was remembering from his past that
<br>
was similar to the case study. With curiosity in my voice and
<br>
demeanor, I asked "What was your intention?" He answered, rather
<br>
vehemently, "to get rid of this person as soon as possible." I
<br>
listened and - and this is very important - I made no reprimand,
<br>
judgment, or correction. I let his answer stand for itself, heard
<br>
and accepted.
<br>
<br>
We continued. I asked whenever inspired, "What is your intention"
<br>
or "What was your intention?" and sometimes even "What do you
<br>
think was their intention?" The most amazing dynamic occurred!
<br>
The answers kept reflecting greater and greater empowering
<br>
practices by the speaker. It was as if once voiced, the less
<br>
empowering intentions lost their power and people were able to
<br>
articulate more empowering intentions. As the trainer, I offered
<br>
no resistance, only acceptance of their expressions, so they did
<br>
not have to resist my resistance or defend themselves.
<br>
<br>
If I had been writing a screenplay to show the power of asking
<br>
about intention, I could not have orchestrated it better. The
<br>
whole group changed. In three days, this somewhat disgruntled
<br>
group of individuals became a mostly upbeat, empowered group,
<br>
eager for their new assignments.
<br>
<br>
As much as they learned, I learned more. Over time, I have come
<br>
to describe my role as "holding a space" for others to expand or
<br>
grow. Instead of trying to get them to learn something on my
<br>
agenda or to accept my point of view, I joined with them to learn
<br>
what they most needed to learn. Of course, there were many other
<br>
principles and techniques that I was hired to impart to them, but
<br>
this was the most important, in my opinion, and it was unplanned.
<br>
<br>
This single incident has been the foundation for exploring my own
<br>
intention and helping clients to identify their own intention.
<br>
Intention is an integral part of my work.
<br>
<br>
Today, as you think about your day or an important portion of
<br>
your day, what is your intention?
<br>
<br>
<br>
Copyright c 2005 Marshall House. All rights reserved. You may
<br>
save this article, send it to a friend, or reprint it in your
<br>
online publications, provided the article remains complete and
<br>
this information is attached. Marshall House
<br>
<a href="http://www.mhmail.com" target="_blank">http://www.mhmail.com</a> and Voice of Jeanie Marshall
<br>
<a href="http://www.jmvoice.com" target="_blank">http://www.jmvoice.com</a></span>
<br>
<br>
__________________________________________________ _________ <hr>
<b>Clean42day</b> - Tue 14 Feb, 2006 3:11 am<br>
<b>Post subject: </b><hr class="sep" width="95%">
I have a close friend in recovery who is going through some real big changes right now. she resigned her position from an 8 year job to return to school. her husband lost his job 7 months ago and recenlty became re-employed again at a new job.
<br>
<br>
they are both completly out of thier comfort zone and walking through alot of fear. needless to say they are taking the stress out on eachother in little nitpiky ways. passive aggressive comments about her driving. passive agressive comments about his habits at home.....things that months ago and for years have never bothered eachother have suddenly become BIG issues.
<br>
<br>
I asked her if she was able to honestly and directly communicate her feelings and talk to him? she said that the underlying anger or negative energy dynamic is alwasy there waiting to bubble to the surface on both thier parts.....the conversation starts out healthy and then takes a very unhealthy turn. no resolution, no compromise. what starts out as a deep exchange of feelings turns into suface circumstantial complaints.
<br>
<br>
I read this article and sent it to her......
<br>
<br>
she said she decided to try it on her relationship with her husband.
<br>
<br>
the next time he critisized her driving....she simply asked him....what is your intention when you make negative comments like that?
<br>
<br>
The next time they tried to talk....she started out with saying....what is the intention of this conversation? and then stuck to the topic at hand.
<br>
<br>
I guess it could work negatively also if his intentions to critisize her are to belittle her and make her feel inadequate. but the simple question immediatley puts us on the spot to explore....what our intentions really are? to change others? to make them do life our way? to make them so uncomfortable that they can't feel safe in thier own home?
<br>
<br>
she said she took the risk....and now they are communicating on a much better level....and focusing on thier own intentions....instead of forcing eachother to change.
<br>
<br>
such simple words....with a big outcome. <hr>
<b>flickchic</b> - Tue 14 Feb, 2006 6:09 am<br>
<b>Post subject: </b><hr class="sep" width="95%">
Excellent article, your piece re your friend and husband puts it out there quite clearly too!
<br>
<div align="center"><div class="codetitle">Quote:</div><div class="quotediv">I guess it could work negatively also if his intentions to critisize her are to belittle her and make her feel inadequate. </div></div>
<br>
<br>
I guess forwarned is forearmed also, not for battle, however I we are to know ahead of belittlemement and unhealthy critisism then I guess we can choose to walk away or address what is happening differently also.
<br>
<br>
I'm glad she took the risk and that it's working for them...good healthy communication is the key to all! something I personally am defective at in my personal r/ships with men.
<b>Post subject: </b>Learning The Power of Intention<hr class="sep" width="95%">
<span style="color: blue;">Learning The Power of Intention
<br>
By: Jeanie Marshall
<br>
<br>
It was early in my career, for which I am very grateful.
<br>
<br>
I was leading the last three days of a five-day training program
<br>
for US Federal government employees who were mid-level managers
<br>
newly assigned to overseas posts. In the group of 30, there were
<br>
a few seasoned managers, but most had under three years'
<br>
experience managing others.
<br>
<br>
I had designed the training, which included the development of
<br>
some case studies for them to explore in small groups and then
<br>
present to the total group. As they discussed performance issues,
<br>
I noticed attitudes that seemed different from the empowering
<br>
practices I was advocating. Keeping my judgment in check, I asked
<br>
"What is/was your intention?"
<br>
<br>
The first time I asked that question to a man who was talking
<br>
about a specific situation he was remembering from his past that
<br>
was similar to the case study. With curiosity in my voice and
<br>
demeanor, I asked "What was your intention?" He answered, rather
<br>
vehemently, "to get rid of this person as soon as possible." I
<br>
listened and - and this is very important - I made no reprimand,
<br>
judgment, or correction. I let his answer stand for itself, heard
<br>
and accepted.
<br>
<br>
We continued. I asked whenever inspired, "What is your intention"
<br>
or "What was your intention?" and sometimes even "What do you
<br>
think was their intention?" The most amazing dynamic occurred!
<br>
The answers kept reflecting greater and greater empowering
<br>
practices by the speaker. It was as if once voiced, the less
<br>
empowering intentions lost their power and people were able to
<br>
articulate more empowering intentions. As the trainer, I offered
<br>
no resistance, only acceptance of their expressions, so they did
<br>
not have to resist my resistance or defend themselves.
<br>
<br>
If I had been writing a screenplay to show the power of asking
<br>
about intention, I could not have orchestrated it better. The
<br>
whole group changed. In three days, this somewhat disgruntled
<br>
group of individuals became a mostly upbeat, empowered group,
<br>
eager for their new assignments.
<br>
<br>
As much as they learned, I learned more. Over time, I have come
<br>
to describe my role as "holding a space" for others to expand or
<br>
grow. Instead of trying to get them to learn something on my
<br>
agenda or to accept my point of view, I joined with them to learn
<br>
what they most needed to learn. Of course, there were many other
<br>
principles and techniques that I was hired to impart to them, but
<br>
this was the most important, in my opinion, and it was unplanned.
<br>
<br>
This single incident has been the foundation for exploring my own
<br>
intention and helping clients to identify their own intention.
<br>
Intention is an integral part of my work.
<br>
<br>
Today, as you think about your day or an important portion of
<br>
your day, what is your intention?
<br>
<br>
<br>
Copyright c 2005 Marshall House. All rights reserved. You may
<br>
save this article, send it to a friend, or reprint it in your
<br>
online publications, provided the article remains complete and
<br>
this information is attached. Marshall House
<br>
<a href="http://www.mhmail.com" target="_blank">http://www.mhmail.com</a> and Voice of Jeanie Marshall
<br>
<a href="http://www.jmvoice.com" target="_blank">http://www.jmvoice.com</a></span>
<br>
<br>
__________________________________________________ _________ <hr>
<b>Clean42day</b> - Tue 14 Feb, 2006 3:11 am<br>
<b>Post subject: </b><hr class="sep" width="95%">
I have a close friend in recovery who is going through some real big changes right now. she resigned her position from an 8 year job to return to school. her husband lost his job 7 months ago and recenlty became re-employed again at a new job.
<br>
<br>
they are both completly out of thier comfort zone and walking through alot of fear. needless to say they are taking the stress out on eachother in little nitpiky ways. passive aggressive comments about her driving. passive agressive comments about his habits at home.....things that months ago and for years have never bothered eachother have suddenly become BIG issues.
<br>
<br>
I asked her if she was able to honestly and directly communicate her feelings and talk to him? she said that the underlying anger or negative energy dynamic is alwasy there waiting to bubble to the surface on both thier parts.....the conversation starts out healthy and then takes a very unhealthy turn. no resolution, no compromise. what starts out as a deep exchange of feelings turns into suface circumstantial complaints.
<br>
<br>
I read this article and sent it to her......
<br>
<br>
she said she decided to try it on her relationship with her husband.
<br>
<br>
the next time he critisized her driving....she simply asked him....what is your intention when you make negative comments like that?
<br>
<br>
The next time they tried to talk....she started out with saying....what is the intention of this conversation? and then stuck to the topic at hand.
<br>
<br>
I guess it could work negatively also if his intentions to critisize her are to belittle her and make her feel inadequate. but the simple question immediatley puts us on the spot to explore....what our intentions really are? to change others? to make them do life our way? to make them so uncomfortable that they can't feel safe in thier own home?
<br>
<br>
she said she took the risk....and now they are communicating on a much better level....and focusing on thier own intentions....instead of forcing eachother to change.
<br>
<br>
such simple words....with a big outcome. <hr>
<b>flickchic</b> - Tue 14 Feb, 2006 6:09 am<br>
<b>Post subject: </b><hr class="sep" width="95%">
Excellent article, your piece re your friend and husband puts it out there quite clearly too!
<br>
<div align="center"><div class="codetitle">Quote:</div><div class="quotediv">I guess it could work negatively also if his intentions to critisize her are to belittle her and make her feel inadequate. </div></div>
<br>
<br>
I guess forwarned is forearmed also, not for battle, however I we are to know ahead of belittlemement and unhealthy critisism then I guess we can choose to walk away or address what is happening differently also.
<br>
<br>
I'm glad she took the risk and that it's working for them...good healthy communication is the key to all! something I personally am defective at in my personal r/ships with men.