The importance of relationships

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"Share each other's troubles and problems." Galatians 6:2 TLB

The importance of relationships (1)

Johnny Cash recorded more than 1500 songs, had 14 number one hits, was awarded 11 Grammies and sold 50 million albums. Much of the credit goes to his wife June, a committed Christian. At her funeral Johnny's daughter said: "In her eyes there were only two kinds of people: those she knew and loved, and those she didn't know and loved. She looked for the best in everyone; it was a way of life for her. If you pointed out that a particular person was perhaps not deserving of her love, she would say, 'Well, honey, we just have to lift him up.' She was forever lifting people up. It took me a long time to understand that what she did when she lifted you up, was to mirror the very best parts of you back to yourself. She was like a spiritual detective; she saw into all your dark corners and deep recesses, saw your potential, and the gifts you didn't even know you possessed, and she lifted them up for you to see. She did it for all of us, daily, continuously. But her great mission and passion was lifting up my dad. If being a wife were a corporation June would have been the CEO. It was her most treasured role. She'd begin every day by saying, 'What can I do for you, John?' Her love filled up every room he was in and lightened every path he walked. Her devotion created a sacred, exhilarating place for them to live out their married life. My daddy has lost his dearest companion, his musical counterpart, his soul-mate and best friend." That is the power of a great relationship!
Bob Gass

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"Whoever walks with...fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 NRS

The importance of relationships (2)

In his book High Maintenance Relationships Les Parrot offers us ways to know whether someone is a plus or a minus in our lives:

(1) Do you feel anxious when a particular person has called and left a message for you to return? (2) Are you dealing with a relationship that drains you of energy and enthusiasm? (3) Do you dread having to see or talk to a particular person at work or in a social situation? (4) Do you always seek to give, but get nothing in return? (5) Do you keep second-guessing your own performance as a result of interacting with this person? (6) Do you become more self-critical in their presence? (7) Is your creativity blocked or is your clarity of mind hampered by the lingering discomfort of having to deal with them? (8) Do you try to calm yourself after being with this person by eating more, biting your nails, or engaging in some other unhealthy habit? (9) Do you have imaginary conversations or mental arguments in which you defend yourself or try to explain your side of a conflict? (10) Do you feel resentful that this person seems to treat other people better than they treat you? (11) Do you wonder why this person singles you out for criticism but rarely acknowledges what you do well?
If you answer yes, you're in a high-maintenance relationship, and you've 3 options: (1) Continue to suffer. (2) Continue to complain. (3) Do something about it. Start by heeding the Scripture: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise; but the companion of fools suffers harm."
Bob Gass

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"A friend loveth at all times." Proverbs 17:17

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Work to build solid relationships that are mutually beneficial. Here are some signs that a relationship's headed that way: (1) Mutual enjoyment. In solid relationships people spend time together just for the joy of being together. What they do is not of significance. Unfortunately the busyness of life causes us to forget what a joy this can be. (2) Mutual respect. How do you build mutual respect? When you don't let obstacles or circumstances become more important to you than the relationship. When the pressure is on and you still treat them with patience and kindness. When the relationship is struggling and you're willing to work to preserve it. (3) Shared experiences. Helen Keller may have been blind, but she had 20/20 vision when it came to relationships: "My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation." (4) Trust. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "The glory of friendship is not just in the outstretched hand nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him." Paul writes, "Love never gives up" (1Co 13:7 NLT). (5) Reciprocity. All relationships experience ebb and flow. Sometimes one person is the primary giver, sometimes the other is. But a solid relationship will always be two-sided. Friendships are like bank accounts. You cannot continue to draw on them without making deposits. If either of you becomes overdrawn and it stays that way too long, the relationship won't last.
Bob Gass

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"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17 NIV

The importance of relationships (4)
Solid relationships keep us grounded and accountable. If we start to get off course they help keep us on track. So who are the significant people in your life, the ones you spend the most time with, the ones whose opinions really matter to you? These people are your greatest influencers. The question is, how are they influencing you? To know the answer, ask yourself the following questions: (1) What does he/she bring out of me? Author William Alan Ward remarked, "A true friend knows your weaknesses, but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disabilities, but emphasizes your possibilities." (2) What does he/she think of me? People tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. Indeed, that's what our children grow up to be! We embrace the opinions of those we respect. (3) What does he/she think of my future? Paul tells Timothy, "Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young" (1Ti 4:12 NLT). Do the most important people in your life understand God's plan for you? Do they help or hinder you? (4) How does he/she behave toward me in difficult times? The solid relationships in your life are those who are slow to suspect, but quick to trust. Slow to condemn, but quick to justify. Slow to offend, but quick to defend. Slow to expose, but quick to shield. Slow to reprimand, but quick to forbear. Slow to belittle, but quick to appreciate. Slow to demand, but quick to give. Slow to provoke, but quick to help. Slow to resent, but quick to forgive.
Bob Gass