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admin
01-20-2008, 11:52 AM
Procrastination
Do I really want to do this?

On Friday evening I was sitting at home debating if I should get started on the topic I needed to do for Saturday group, thinking " I need to get started and not put it off". I hadn't even thought of a topic yet. Then I remembered how much I hate to do something new, but how much more I hated doing something new when I was drinking. Then I realized that I had started already, and that the topic was procrastination.

When I was drinking it was always very easy to find an excuse not to start on some task, or project. "Just have another beer and I'll get to it later." Was this an easy way not to face difficulties, a calculated way of prioritizing work, or just plain laziness. I'm sure I almost always viewed it as planning on my part, but I'm also pretty sure it was just a major case of laziness compounded by a few too many drinks.

I was almost always able to put something off with some excuse that would fit the situation. These excuses weren't hard to come up with, in fact I probably had a pre chosen list of excuses just waiting to be used.

I don't know if this is a condition faced by many alcoholics, but I think it may be quite common. This may also be tied in with the fear of failure that causes many to drink too much. If you are afraid to try something, you will most likely put off doing so for as long as possible.

There is also the inability to carry out a process to its conclusion. Whether it is something that scares or frightens you or only the dislike of work. Completing a job requires a certain amount of commitment. Possibly the alcoholic is unwilling to make a commitment. This commitment might be something substantial (perhaps not), and interferes with a persons sense of independence.

Those of us who may see ourselves in this can most likely relate to the feeling of not wanting to be told what to do. Most people do not like to be bossed around, and an active alcoholic will definitely put up some resistance to most attempts by others to control him.

Now, I'm not saying I no longer put things off, or that I jump right into a project the minute it comes up. But I do tend to think more clearly of the ramifications of not doing something, or of delaying the start of a project. I can also see more clearly the result of my inactions.

This may be one of those side benefits from sobriety that isn't apparent from the outset, but is slow to build, and long lasting in your life. It is one benefit I'm glad to be aware of .

1995 The Saturday Morning Group

Do you procrastinate? If so what do you do to break yourself from doing this?

anniemac
01-21-2008, 01:20 PM
Well, I was typing a pretty long reply to this, when my fingers hit the wrong key and I lost my whole post. So, for now I am going to procrastinate re-typing it all! :tongue:

kaistevens
01-22-2008, 08:30 AM
I guess running = procrastination. For me, it has been mostly fear. Fear of a label, I guess. "If I do (), that means I am a (), which means I have to accept ()." Or, something like that. Which makes no sense really. I am who and what I am, whether I accept it, or act like it, or admit it, or fulfill it, or not.

That is to say, "I am an alcoholic, I am a woman, I am 37 years old, whether I admit it or not. How I feel about that, or what I think of that, has no baring on the fact."

So, for me, procrastination made the things I did not want to accept untrue. If I don't behave like a ..., I'm not a ...

I don't know. I have put off facing, and being, who I am, cause I have believed that is not who I want to be.

When I procrastinate, these days anyway, it is because of fear. I don't want to behave like something I don't want to be.

I guess all that was pretty vague, sorry. I just put off facing myself. I put off working on the problem, which I have found to be Kai.

That's all. Love ya later. Kai

sioux
01-22-2008, 12:28 PM
Let's see.. the 12 X 12 refers to procrastination as one of the deadly sins..."sloth in five syllables." Works for me.

I don't like to talk much about the drinking days, so I'll focus on the issues in recovery with regard to procrastination or "sloth" as you will. Easier to spell.

I live by the three second rule when it comes to many things in my life. The question is, will I expend the three seconds it takes to put this where it belongs, or leave it be, watch it reproduce, and spend two to three hours later to remedy this?

I use this when it comes to putting a dish in the dishwasher to committing to that 10 am meeting to attend today to calling the insurance company about a benefit question (the very last thing I ever want to do is to talk to insurance companies).

I try not to overthink what is in front of me. There are mechanics to my life that I have learned to employ that help me to live a full and useful life today. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot...

anniemac
01-22-2008, 02:36 PM
OKay, I'm going to try this again, and hopefully not hit the delete button my mistake!

Yes, unfortunately I procrastinate. It's always when I am feeling fear/uncomfortability. I don't procrastinate with taking out the garbage, etc. - I just do it. But when something brings up uncomfortable feelings within me, I tend to procrastinate.

I do know from many sober references that when I walk right through that fear and just "do it anyway", I learn to overcome my fears and feel better about myself. However, that's just not always so easy to implement while in the grips of fear. And I'm not talking about anything earth-shattering here in regards to fear -- just run of the mill anxiety-producing stuff (like calling the insurance company).

I really do work on being less fearful and pinpointing where the uncomfortability lies (is it in confrontations, in feeling stupid, etc.) to root it out, and I'm finding that's a process for me.

recoverycoach
04-14-2008, 12:08 AM
This is interesting, I keep landing on posts you have written:-)
Anyway, I keep seeing this word "guilt" in your writing. It brings a few questions up that were asked of me some time ago. Why am I taking responsibility for other's feelings? What am I avoiding by doing so? How does it serve me? oh and the real ****ty painful question of, Whats my motivation, am I trying to get them to think something about me...am I trying to control their thoughts about me? (this one always got me right in the gut! For me this was a control issue, I wasn't convinced I was worthy enough or likable so I would try to make sure others liked me, because if you liked me, then I might have a chance you wouldn't really see the icky parts of me, the real me. )
I was taught long time ago that chaos has to arrive prior to any big change that is about to occur. It is normal:-) I know I am laughing here as I think how weird it is to realize some of my life is actually considered "normal" today! I notice all the time all sorts of things show up to distract me and get in my way of what I think I am suppose to be doing or have planned on doing...my higher power, sometimes just steps in and seems to have quite different plans in mind for me.
I guess for me, I repeatedly learn ( it seems I just can't retain it for very long) that I am not in control...all I need to do is suite up and show up...either it will happen or it won't.http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/images/smilies/idea.gif
:idea:
Much light and love!~Cheryl