admin
06-19-2006, 08:16 AM
Baritone
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 365
Location: NC
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 01:41 pm
After my last sponsor and i parted ways almost two years ago, i've been looking for a new sponsor. I'd look around at meetings for someone with more sobriety than me who i thought might make a good sponsor. But then i'd always come up with some reason why it wouldn't work - either his experience (drugs, prison, etc.) was too different from mine, or he lived too far away, or his wife was too beautiful, or whatever (the last guy i rejected because he was too tall). (I'd also considered having a woman as a sponsor, because for a variety of reasons i always relate more to women's stories than men's - but i know that the fact that i have difficulty forming a close relationship with another man is exactly the reason that i'd need a man for a sponsor).
Then at the meeting last Sunday morning, the guy chairing the meeting started out by talking about the struggles he'd had in trying to get the program. Thinking he understood everything that was wrong with AA, feeling apart from the group, not opening up to others or asking for help. And it hit me full force that he was talking about exactly the way i was thinking and feeling. He went on to talk about how he uses the program (including his sponsor) in his daily life, and i knew that i had been guided to go to this meeting to hear what he was saying. So after the meeting i let him know i needed a sponsor and asked (or practically demanded) if he could sponsor me. We exchanged phone numbers, and after several days of "phone tag" have made plans to get together after the meeting tomorrow morning. I'm just so excited (and relieved) - i'm already feeling a renewed connection to AA, the world, and my HP.
So i thought this would be a good topic for everyone else to share on - How did you find your sponsor?
- Jim
_____________________
scots bill
Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 03:40 pm
jim hi
first con. grats. on new sponsor. you said a lot in your share that i
identitify with,i was in prison when i got my first sponsor, i chose him
from all the prison visitors the one i thought would give me the least hassle, he was small wore glasses and very thin, i only got a sponsor
because i needed someone to do my step five with. in a short period of time he showed his true metal, he called things as he saw them ,if you want to get well you will stop the bull s#=t, that man put me on my way to recovery, he took time to go through the steps with me, explained the need for a h. p. in my life that it would free me from the bondage of self.
i came out of prison, messed about with 3 or 4 different sponsors, over the next 5 or 6 years i slowly went back into self, i was disalusioned with life i knew i did'nt want to drink i was not in a good place. 6 years sober
lying in the bath crying and feeling like sh!+, i went to a meeting that night
heard a lady share that she had gone through similar things as me,and how she dealt with them with the help of a sponsor, i left that meeting with a new sponsor. over the next 5 years that lady loved me back to life.
i'm in between sponsors at the moment not to be recomended, i hope to put that right as soon as i get back to my meetings. JIM thank you for this post , i can now see a few things i need to do if i want to continue with conteted sobriety, JIM thnk you your friend in recovery BILL. ok smile grin grin lol prayer smile
_________________
soberaddy
Moderator
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 405
Location: Canada
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 08:01 pm
LOL I ask my present sponsor over e-mail! I was so afraid that she would reject me, and I sure did not want to deal with that. After all I was not even 2 months sober. But she did say yes, and now she is without a doubt very dear to me and my best friend. Me and her fits eachother like a glove. ok
The first time I seen her tough (in the psych ward), as she 12th step me, I did not like her one bit because she was way to relax for my liking, as I was bouncing off the walls Confused But the way I look at it now, God put her in my life when I needed her the most.
Thanks....very good topic.
Love
Anne grin hug smile
_________________
bluidkiti
Site Admin
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 10500
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 08:24 pm Post subject:
I actually asked my grandsponsor who wasn't my grandsponsor at the time to sponsor me but she said she couldn't but had someone in mind that maybe could. I hung up the phone with her and said "God, I'm putting it in your hands." She called back and said the lady that she had had in mind could sponsor me and told me when to meet her at a meeting. When I met my sponsor at that meeting that was the first time I had ever seen her. She has been my sponsor ever since then since '99. She has been a God send to me. She has what I want and gives me what I need. ok
_________________
milpitas
Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 1
Location: Milpitas, CA
PostPosted: 21 May 2005 07:19 pm
Hi,
I found my sponsor in the meeting after the meeting ... actually I kept making it to the "Serenity at Seven" meeting at 8:00 instead of 7:00. Just was talking about not having one, and he just raised his eye brows and we were off ...
Now I'm working with my own sponsees, and I'm having a hard time holding myself back from "shoving", rather than "sharing". I just feel so strongly about the power of the program and her need for the gifts that I become somewhat pushy! I'm working on it right now since she's been missing meetings and postponing our talks ... I'm holding back from calling her up right now in fact ... This forum is a good outlet for me to "cut it in half" ...
I am responsible to be there, not to make her be there ... I guess that's the best I can do right now ...
Also, I guess I'm being selfish, because I just love working the steps and it's even more fun doing them with others and I can't wait! I was that way with my first sponsor too, and he had to keep holding me back!
Happy trails!
_________________
clean42day
Moderator
Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 417
PostPosted: 04 Jul 2005 11:37 pm
i found my last sponsor by asking a dear and trusted friend...who had known me for 5 years....whatched me go in and out of the rooms and generally observed me....sometimes from a distance. he had ten years and was very active in the program and knew everyone who had "time". I walked right up to him and asked him to pick someone who he knew that he thought would make a good sponsor for me because I no longer trusted my own judgement. He told me he would get back to me at the end of the meeting. He then introduced me to Diana (17 years). God must have been working that day and guided his choice because....even though we had different backgrounds... I learned the most from here through our diversity. turns out that she was the best sponsor i have ever had...and because i trusted the process. she has been a gift in my life. And becuase I did not "pick" her......I also found that I could not manipulate her...she did not baby me, and made me work hard for what I have today. She just moved last week......... Crying or Very sad
so now I need to find a new one.
Gail
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 365
Location: NC
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 01:41 pm
After my last sponsor and i parted ways almost two years ago, i've been looking for a new sponsor. I'd look around at meetings for someone with more sobriety than me who i thought might make a good sponsor. But then i'd always come up with some reason why it wouldn't work - either his experience (drugs, prison, etc.) was too different from mine, or he lived too far away, or his wife was too beautiful, or whatever (the last guy i rejected because he was too tall). (I'd also considered having a woman as a sponsor, because for a variety of reasons i always relate more to women's stories than men's - but i know that the fact that i have difficulty forming a close relationship with another man is exactly the reason that i'd need a man for a sponsor).
Then at the meeting last Sunday morning, the guy chairing the meeting started out by talking about the struggles he'd had in trying to get the program. Thinking he understood everything that was wrong with AA, feeling apart from the group, not opening up to others or asking for help. And it hit me full force that he was talking about exactly the way i was thinking and feeling. He went on to talk about how he uses the program (including his sponsor) in his daily life, and i knew that i had been guided to go to this meeting to hear what he was saying. So after the meeting i let him know i needed a sponsor and asked (or practically demanded) if he could sponsor me. We exchanged phone numbers, and after several days of "phone tag" have made plans to get together after the meeting tomorrow morning. I'm just so excited (and relieved) - i'm already feeling a renewed connection to AA, the world, and my HP.
So i thought this would be a good topic for everyone else to share on - How did you find your sponsor?
- Jim
_____________________
scots bill
Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 03:40 pm
jim hi
first con. grats. on new sponsor. you said a lot in your share that i
identitify with,i was in prison when i got my first sponsor, i chose him
from all the prison visitors the one i thought would give me the least hassle, he was small wore glasses and very thin, i only got a sponsor
because i needed someone to do my step five with. in a short period of time he showed his true metal, he called things as he saw them ,if you want to get well you will stop the bull s#=t, that man put me on my way to recovery, he took time to go through the steps with me, explained the need for a h. p. in my life that it would free me from the bondage of self.
i came out of prison, messed about with 3 or 4 different sponsors, over the next 5 or 6 years i slowly went back into self, i was disalusioned with life i knew i did'nt want to drink i was not in a good place. 6 years sober
lying in the bath crying and feeling like sh!+, i went to a meeting that night
heard a lady share that she had gone through similar things as me,and how she dealt with them with the help of a sponsor, i left that meeting with a new sponsor. over the next 5 years that lady loved me back to life.
i'm in between sponsors at the moment not to be recomended, i hope to put that right as soon as i get back to my meetings. JIM thank you for this post , i can now see a few things i need to do if i want to continue with conteted sobriety, JIM thnk you your friend in recovery BILL. ok smile grin grin lol prayer smile
_________________
soberaddy
Moderator
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 405
Location: Canada
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 08:01 pm
LOL I ask my present sponsor over e-mail! I was so afraid that she would reject me, and I sure did not want to deal with that. After all I was not even 2 months sober. But she did say yes, and now she is without a doubt very dear to me and my best friend. Me and her fits eachother like a glove. ok
The first time I seen her tough (in the psych ward), as she 12th step me, I did not like her one bit because she was way to relax for my liking, as I was bouncing off the walls Confused But the way I look at it now, God put her in my life when I needed her the most.
Thanks....very good topic.
Love
Anne grin hug smile
_________________
bluidkiti
Site Admin
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 10500
PostPosted: 13 May 2005 08:24 pm Post subject:
I actually asked my grandsponsor who wasn't my grandsponsor at the time to sponsor me but she said she couldn't but had someone in mind that maybe could. I hung up the phone with her and said "God, I'm putting it in your hands." She called back and said the lady that she had had in mind could sponsor me and told me when to meet her at a meeting. When I met my sponsor at that meeting that was the first time I had ever seen her. She has been my sponsor ever since then since '99. She has been a God send to me. She has what I want and gives me what I need. ok
_________________
milpitas
Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 1
Location: Milpitas, CA
PostPosted: 21 May 2005 07:19 pm
Hi,
I found my sponsor in the meeting after the meeting ... actually I kept making it to the "Serenity at Seven" meeting at 8:00 instead of 7:00. Just was talking about not having one, and he just raised his eye brows and we were off ...
Now I'm working with my own sponsees, and I'm having a hard time holding myself back from "shoving", rather than "sharing". I just feel so strongly about the power of the program and her need for the gifts that I become somewhat pushy! I'm working on it right now since she's been missing meetings and postponing our talks ... I'm holding back from calling her up right now in fact ... This forum is a good outlet for me to "cut it in half" ...
I am responsible to be there, not to make her be there ... I guess that's the best I can do right now ...
Also, I guess I'm being selfish, because I just love working the steps and it's even more fun doing them with others and I can't wait! I was that way with my first sponsor too, and he had to keep holding me back!
Happy trails!
_________________
clean42day
Moderator
Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 417
PostPosted: 04 Jul 2005 11:37 pm
i found my last sponsor by asking a dear and trusted friend...who had known me for 5 years....whatched me go in and out of the rooms and generally observed me....sometimes from a distance. he had ten years and was very active in the program and knew everyone who had "time". I walked right up to him and asked him to pick someone who he knew that he thought would make a good sponsor for me because I no longer trusted my own judgement. He told me he would get back to me at the end of the meeting. He then introduced me to Diana (17 years). God must have been working that day and guided his choice because....even though we had different backgrounds... I learned the most from here through our diversity. turns out that she was the best sponsor i have ever had...and because i trusted the process. she has been a gift in my life. And becuase I did not "pick" her......I also found that I could not manipulate her...she did not baby me, and made me work hard for what I have today. She just moved last week......... Crying or Very sad
so now I need to find a new one.
Gail