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06-19-2006, 08:17 AM
Baritone
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 365
Location: NC
PostPosted: 25 Jun 2005 02:45 pm
Something i've heard shared in meetings that i can't understand where people are coming from is "my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk". If you consider this to be true in your case, i'd be interested to know whether it's that your life sober is so rich that even the bad days are good, or whether it's that all of your drinking days were so bad. After all, it seems to me that we must have had "good days" drinking (at least at one time), or why would we have done it for so long?
- Jim
_______________________
cassie
Moderator
Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 1029
PostPosted: 26 Jun 2005 07:51 am
Hi (((Baritone)))
If I remember individual days (before the alcoholism progressed), yes, I had some pretty good days where drinking was involved. So, in order to recreate those times, I always made sure that whatever activity was involved, alcohol was available. Drinking became the objective - I believed I would only have a good time if I could get a buzz. I thought it made me more interesting, less inhibited and more attractive. I was truly an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I try to remember those days as they really were and not glamorize or glorify them.
I am not sure at what point the consumption of alcohol became the focus of the day. Those years, my life included a lot of high stress characteristics in life style. Those "things" were not at fault. I was. Because I refused to acknowledge that I had a problem. I woke up thinking about it, I went to sleep thinking about it and during the day I drank. My whole life revolved around getting the next drink. It became a compulsion, an obsession that only a significant event in my life would stop. That event was a DUI in which people could have died. At the time, I wished I had died. My HP led me into recovery.
For me, being sober means being able to handle the tough days without drinking. I can't handle alcohol - it handles me. So, yes, I would rather have a bad day sober because I don't believe that any day spent drinking has a reward for me now. 2cents My life has taken on new meaning and my gratitude list is long. Thanks for letting me share this today. hug
_________________
scots bill
Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england
PostPosted: 26 Jun 2005 01:48 pm
hi jim
not to sure about that one either, i had some pretty good times drinking, alcohol did for me what i required of it, it filled an emotional
whole i was born with, it took me to places i didn't have the courage to
go, yes it did for me what i couldn't do for my self, it turned against me
when i started using it for the wrong reason, after the death of my wife
i went into suicidal depression, and i self medicated with alcohol, it was a short term answer to a long term problem, my best day drinking in that
suicidal period lasted for all of four minutes or there about,i've had some horendous times in my early recovery, i have suffered depression in recovery, a few times i craved for that four minutes . so my worst day
sober and my best day drunk for me are on a parr, aa has now given
me long term answers to my shot term problems, anyway i don't let
that stuff in try to keeple simple, it's a waste of time making them
comparisons, the only comparison i shall make is my life is far better
in recovery than it was before recovery. love in recovery your friend bill ok coffee smile smokin
_________________
troutfly1972
Joined: 20 Apr 2005
Posts: 178
Location: NE Kansas
PostPosted: 27 Jun 2005 07:47 am
For myself my days of drinking were done only for the effect. Therefor, I would drink to lighten up the ugliness of society. I didn't realize that I was the one making things so ugly. Thanks to AA, I now have seen the difference. My drinking, so I thought, was making people, places, and things easier to work with. Ask any of those who had to work with me hungover, and they would say, "He is miserable to work with until he gets a beer". In sobriety, my bad days are not as bad because I don't have to look into the bottle for a remedy. I can pray, meditate, and even walk through a public park and not see everybody else's faults. AA and Sobriety have certainly given me the tool to paint a more beautiful perception of myself and my surroundings. I would take many sober bad days over what I though was a good day drunk. Good day drunk is an oxymoron to me.
_________________
Janbear
Site Admin
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 5529
PostPosted: 27 Jun 2005 08:41 am
For me a "good day drunk" was before the disease took me. Prior to 18 or 19 i did see them that way, everything was a "Party" so in my mind all good. By the time i hit 19 the disease took me, i lost the power of choice after that first drink, hit, pill. There were no more partys or good day drunk. I was caught in the web of addiction with my life spiraling downward.
Today i would rather have a bad day sober than to go back to what i thought was good or a party because i know where that led me. Like has been shared i know i cant afford to glamourize or reflect back on what i thought was so good or that could lead me back into active addiction.
When i think of my last drunk and how i felt then that keeps me grateful for my sobriety today. Thats just me.
_________________
clean42day
Moderator
Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 417
PostPosted: 04 Jul 2005 10:29 pm
for me it all boils down to the power of choice. while in my addiction i have no choices to have a good or a bad day.....the control belongs to my addiction/obessession/compulsion. In recovery (on this side of the hit, fix, drink, or pill) I have choices and can start my day all over again.....I have not yet gone through anything close to the miserable despair of my addiciton days. even way back when, when times were still manageable...my addiction still told me what to do, when to do it, and i ended up choosing by default....by not making a choice at all.
that is not the case today.....today I wake up with all kinds of choices. that is too precious for comparison.
Gail
_________________
trickyd
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 7
PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 05:19 pm
Words, Words, Words. I've heard this said a lot at meetings and have always understood the comparison to be strictly a reference and a comparison to the drinking that we did AFTER we tripped over the line into active alcoholism. For sure I had a ball drinking in the beginning, but I continued to drink for years after it wasn't the least bit fun anymore. Truly, any day I have today....even a bad one is far better than the best I ever had back then. Remember the self talk we did every morning. The self loathing and the guilt we had with our coffee at the beginning of every day. The smell of liquor oozing from our septic pores long into the late morning. The headaches and nausea. The times when we not only couldn't eat but we couldn't even be in the presence of food without chucking what was left of our stomach lining. Jails, marriage councilors, recriminations, separations and divorces ad nauseum. Yeah.....I had a blast. There's just no comparing the two lives....is there?? Sobriety vs Insanity....hey it's a no brainer for sure.
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 365
Location: NC
PostPosted: 25 Jun 2005 02:45 pm
Something i've heard shared in meetings that i can't understand where people are coming from is "my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk". If you consider this to be true in your case, i'd be interested to know whether it's that your life sober is so rich that even the bad days are good, or whether it's that all of your drinking days were so bad. After all, it seems to me that we must have had "good days" drinking (at least at one time), or why would we have done it for so long?
- Jim
_______________________
cassie
Moderator
Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 1029
PostPosted: 26 Jun 2005 07:51 am
Hi (((Baritone)))
If I remember individual days (before the alcoholism progressed), yes, I had some pretty good days where drinking was involved. So, in order to recreate those times, I always made sure that whatever activity was involved, alcohol was available. Drinking became the objective - I believed I would only have a good time if I could get a buzz. I thought it made me more interesting, less inhibited and more attractive. I was truly an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I try to remember those days as they really were and not glamorize or glorify them.
I am not sure at what point the consumption of alcohol became the focus of the day. Those years, my life included a lot of high stress characteristics in life style. Those "things" were not at fault. I was. Because I refused to acknowledge that I had a problem. I woke up thinking about it, I went to sleep thinking about it and during the day I drank. My whole life revolved around getting the next drink. It became a compulsion, an obsession that only a significant event in my life would stop. That event was a DUI in which people could have died. At the time, I wished I had died. My HP led me into recovery.
For me, being sober means being able to handle the tough days without drinking. I can't handle alcohol - it handles me. So, yes, I would rather have a bad day sober because I don't believe that any day spent drinking has a reward for me now. 2cents My life has taken on new meaning and my gratitude list is long. Thanks for letting me share this today. hug
_________________
scots bill
Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england
PostPosted: 26 Jun 2005 01:48 pm
hi jim
not to sure about that one either, i had some pretty good times drinking, alcohol did for me what i required of it, it filled an emotional
whole i was born with, it took me to places i didn't have the courage to
go, yes it did for me what i couldn't do for my self, it turned against me
when i started using it for the wrong reason, after the death of my wife
i went into suicidal depression, and i self medicated with alcohol, it was a short term answer to a long term problem, my best day drinking in that
suicidal period lasted for all of four minutes or there about,i've had some horendous times in my early recovery, i have suffered depression in recovery, a few times i craved for that four minutes . so my worst day
sober and my best day drunk for me are on a parr, aa has now given
me long term answers to my shot term problems, anyway i don't let
that stuff in try to keeple simple, it's a waste of time making them
comparisons, the only comparison i shall make is my life is far better
in recovery than it was before recovery. love in recovery your friend bill ok coffee smile smokin
_________________
troutfly1972
Joined: 20 Apr 2005
Posts: 178
Location: NE Kansas
PostPosted: 27 Jun 2005 07:47 am
For myself my days of drinking were done only for the effect. Therefor, I would drink to lighten up the ugliness of society. I didn't realize that I was the one making things so ugly. Thanks to AA, I now have seen the difference. My drinking, so I thought, was making people, places, and things easier to work with. Ask any of those who had to work with me hungover, and they would say, "He is miserable to work with until he gets a beer". In sobriety, my bad days are not as bad because I don't have to look into the bottle for a remedy. I can pray, meditate, and even walk through a public park and not see everybody else's faults. AA and Sobriety have certainly given me the tool to paint a more beautiful perception of myself and my surroundings. I would take many sober bad days over what I though was a good day drunk. Good day drunk is an oxymoron to me.
_________________
Janbear
Site Admin
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 5529
PostPosted: 27 Jun 2005 08:41 am
For me a "good day drunk" was before the disease took me. Prior to 18 or 19 i did see them that way, everything was a "Party" so in my mind all good. By the time i hit 19 the disease took me, i lost the power of choice after that first drink, hit, pill. There were no more partys or good day drunk. I was caught in the web of addiction with my life spiraling downward.
Today i would rather have a bad day sober than to go back to what i thought was good or a party because i know where that led me. Like has been shared i know i cant afford to glamourize or reflect back on what i thought was so good or that could lead me back into active addiction.
When i think of my last drunk and how i felt then that keeps me grateful for my sobriety today. Thats just me.
_________________
clean42day
Moderator
Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 417
PostPosted: 04 Jul 2005 10:29 pm
for me it all boils down to the power of choice. while in my addiction i have no choices to have a good or a bad day.....the control belongs to my addiction/obessession/compulsion. In recovery (on this side of the hit, fix, drink, or pill) I have choices and can start my day all over again.....I have not yet gone through anything close to the miserable despair of my addiciton days. even way back when, when times were still manageable...my addiction still told me what to do, when to do it, and i ended up choosing by default....by not making a choice at all.
that is not the case today.....today I wake up with all kinds of choices. that is too precious for comparison.
Gail
_________________
trickyd
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 7
PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 05:19 pm
Words, Words, Words. I've heard this said a lot at meetings and have always understood the comparison to be strictly a reference and a comparison to the drinking that we did AFTER we tripped over the line into active alcoholism. For sure I had a ball drinking in the beginning, but I continued to drink for years after it wasn't the least bit fun anymore. Truly, any day I have today....even a bad one is far better than the best I ever had back then. Remember the self talk we did every morning. The self loathing and the guilt we had with our coffee at the beginning of every day. The smell of liquor oozing from our septic pores long into the late morning. The headaches and nausea. The times when we not only couldn't eat but we couldn't even be in the presence of food without chucking what was left of our stomach lining. Jails, marriage councilors, recriminations, separations and divorces ad nauseum. Yeah.....I had a blast. There's just no comparing the two lives....is there?? Sobriety vs Insanity....hey it's a no brainer for sure.