Step issues

[dalin]

What follows is just my personal opinion, but it is based on personal
experience.
I've tried working the Steps with the Step Working Guide (SWG), and I've
had sponsees that wanted to use it. I thought I should be thorough and
fair in my evaluation of it, and go into it with an open mind.
Having done that, my conclusion is as follows:
That book has very little, if any, value to addicts. It may even do more
of a disservice than it does help. I should also note that I say that
with regret about any piece of NA literature, b/c I truly love NA, but I
think somehow, some way, we got misguided in this area.
Why do I say that?
Well, let's examine the reasons.
First, as addicts suffering from a disease that is obsessive and
compulsive in nature, that book engages it. I had sponsees that would
rush through the questions, and then proclaim: "I'm done with Step
2-ready for Step 3!" and then find out that they had already started the
questions for Step 3. Simply working the Steps in the manner they are
presented in that book does not offer the guarantee against relapse that
LIVING the Steps does, and I'm simply not convinced that book instructs
us how to live them. Of course one has to work steps first in order to
be able to live them, and, a sponsor should be able to put a pause
between Steps to look for evidence that a sponsee is actually
incorporating Steps into her/his life before moving on, but that book
seems to put such a finite stop to each Step so as to imply that the
person is done with that Step. (It's almost like we do in online
meetings here when finished sharing, we type "DONE!") I've seen it over
and over, where sponsees are convinced they are done with a Step b/c the
Guide tells them so (each Step ends with something like "Through our
newfound faith, we achieve the willingness to move into action and work
Step Three."
Secondly, regarding my comments about being misguided somehow, some way.
This is going to be controversial, but again is only my opinion. If we
take a look at the recovery industry (and it is an industry, a
business-some of whom have business models that include the thought
process that the repeat customer is the best source of revenue), and
it's relationship to 12 Step movements, something begins to become
clear. For years and years, up until the late 1970's and early 1980's,
NA struggled as a Fellowship. (Anyone doubting this can listen to Jimmy
K's 20th Anniversary Speech or Greg P's History of NA, or any various
sources regarding our history.) Anyway, the recovery industry recognized
the 12 Step movements as a fundamental source for literature to use in
their "recovery" programs. How many of you who went to rehabs were given
copies of the Big Book, or literature from any 12 Step movements? Before
we had a Step Working guide, I was given some written instructions on
how to work the first 4 Steps and told I had to complete them before
leaving w/o a sponsor, mind you...I was told the facility's counselors
were my sponsor(s). These were the AA steps, which has some fundamental
differences from ours (I never was, never will be powerless over any
inanimate object, never was powerless over drugs, booze, or any of that
stuff, as addiction lives between my two ears, and it was always my
thought processes that got me high-drugs never beat me up and forced
their way into my body.) ANYWAY, sorry for the diatribe.... but, it's my
personal opinion that part of the reason this Step Working Guide was
developed was so that we could get a "foot in the door" to these
facilities by having a supposedly comprehensive guide to working NA
steps in rehabs. And, that may not be all bad, or at least the
intentions may not have been all bad, but some of the
(unforeseen? )effects have been consequentially negative. Now, I know
that the SWG states that it should be used in conjunction with a
sponsor, but the way it's worded almost makes it sound optional:
"There's PROBABLY only one inappropriate way to use these guides:
alone." Combine that with the practice of handing these guides out to
addicts in facilities and we have a dangerous combination. ..potentially
lethal.
I'm also not convinced that some of the reasons this book was developed
weren't monetarily and/or growth (and therefore, monetarily) related. I
really hesitate to say that, but it nonetheless should, at the very
least, be considered in any thorough discussion of this topic, as
unpleasant as it may be.
Third, I fail to see the reasons, other than those stated above, why we
even needed to develop this book.
Here's the "official" reason, as taken from the SWG itself.
"The idea for this piece of literature came from the Narcotics Anonymous
Fellowship itself. Beginning in the early 1980s, we began receiving
Twelve Step guides and step worksheets along with requests that we
develop a standard set of guides for the NA Fellowship to use in working
through the Twelve Steps. Fellowship demand propelled this project up
the NA World Service Conference Literature Committee's priority
wordlists, and finally resulted in the World Service Conference
directing the WSCLC to go ahead with the project at WSC'95."
The question then becomes "WHY did NAWS start receiving these written
guides, and requests?" It doesn't make sense to me. Long sponsorship
lineages each developed their interpretations of how to work and, more
importantly, LIVE steps, and the great growth of our Fellowship,
especially after the publication of the first Basic text in 1983 serves
as a testament to how well that process worked. If diversity is the
strength of our Fellowship, then we are getting weaker when we insist
that there is a canned product of NA Steps. One size does not fit all.
There is not one way to work the Steps, and to insist that there is does
a disservice to a great many addicts. It is so very rewarding and
endlessly interesting to begin investigating all the different ways that
sponsorship families have developed over the years to work/live/teach
Steps. (I have always been asked before I move to the next Step:"
Rogers, can you TEACH this to someone else effectively? ) The SWG
eliminates the whole necessity of having such a thorough understanding
that we are able to teach it to others, not to mention that it
automatically excludes all those rewarding and interesting, and
eye-opening methods that have been developed.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly (and related to my third point,
above) is the fact that all the instructions we ever need are right
there in the Basic Text! Some Steps have more explicit instructions
(leading to more interpretations, and hence, more diversity, our
strength) than others. But I challenge anyone to read the basic text to
see if you can't find the instructions. The Basic Text is written in the
3rd person past tense plural, which means it is the group experience of
addicts (some of whom died to help write it-they didn't make it..)who
cared enough about those yet to come to help us, and we shouldn't
discount that they put the instructions right there for us.

Let's take Step 2 for example: "We came to believe that a Power greater
than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Step 2, done thoroughly in my opinion, is a lot of work. There's that
warning that we ought to heed: Don't gloss over this step with a minimum
of concern, and the instructions for how to work Step 2 are pretty
explicit: We begin by simply admitting to the possibility of a power
greater than ourselves. Ok, there's the starting point. And then it
identifies what can be a timely process: it tells us to GATHER EVIDENCE
and gives us specific suggestions on HOW to do that (talk to and listen
to others, see what was working for them). We are gathering evidence for
the existence of some power greater than us AND our addiction (as the
Basic text says in the explanation part of this Step), so it stands to
reason then, that we would have to know the exact nature of addiction.
The SWG concentrates only on the first part, a power greater than
ourselves, which is quite literally tons of things, but powers greater
than addiction are sufficiently numbered. This is a very important
point, in my opinion. (In order to do this step properly, without
glancing it over with a minimum of concern.) So, in my sponsorship
family, we make an addiction list- a list of all the things addiction
IS. And, since we're trying to be thorough about this, we also look at
things like what it isn't, b/c we can often learn about the nature of
things by studying their opposites. This process requires a great deal
of reading of our literature, picking out all those spots where it talks
about what addiction is and how it affected EVERY area of our lives.
When first working this Step, I went to my sponsor, having admitted to
the possibility of a power greater than me/addiction, and moved on by
starting to gather evidence (which he would daily ask, "So, what's your
evidence for today?" So, I'm thinking I'm ready to move on! And then he
asks me this question: "Rogers, what IS addiction exactly?" And I had
come up with the following working definition for addiction: "Addiction
is a three-pronged disease that affects us mentally, physically, and
spiritually (cuz it says "our spirits were BROKEN," which was kind of
cool b/c before NA I didn't even know I had one at all!!) in every area
of our lives (like work, REALationships, finance, family, etc..), and
is primarily a disease that works by virtue of negative attitudes
(obsession) and behaviors (compulsion) which in turn effect and are
effected by my perception of self in relation to the mental, physical,
and spiritual realms of the world around us." That was my definition,
and trust me, I've since took its essence and condensed it, though I
believe a majority of it still holds true. But my sponsor then
responded:
"Great answer! Now, the next thing is I want you to use that definition
to spell out exactly how addiction affected every area of your life
personally. And, for each area, say Family, you'll need to incorporate
how it affected you mentally, physically, and spiritually, since you
just told me that it's a three-pronged disease!" So, I then looked at
each area that addiction effected, and how it did so mentally,
physically, and spiritually. " (If you are opposed to using the SWG, have
your sponsees answer all the questions in it, but make each question
have three parts: mental, physical, spiritual! That might convince them
otherwise!)

So, it's after all that, which, for me took a long time to write about,
and a lot of reading of the BT/IWHW/and IPs, and talking with and asking
others about their evidence, that I "began to see evidence of some Power
that could not be fully explained. Confronted with this evidence, we
BEGAN to accept the existence of a power greater than ourselves... .the
PROCESS of coming to believe restores us to sanity...We need to accept
this step to start on the road to recovery." Then there's THAT...you do
all this hard, but rewarding work, and at the very end it tells you that
you are only getting to START on the road to recovery!!!

So, on the one hand, I can see where one might want to hurry up and get
to Step 3 or 4 or what-have-you, but then again, I look at the Basic
Text for what it is: it's a piece of literature written from the
experience of bunches and bunches of people, who collaborated their
experience together so that those in the future (us, and future addicts)
might benefit from it. Sometimes, pieces of it are in effect saying,
"Look, a bunch of us tried this way of doing it and ended up with
disastrous results, so try it if you must but don't say we didn't warn
ya!" (You know, things like glossing over Step 2 with a minimum of
concern or the warning about the one thing (two, really) that will
defeat us in recovery-indifferen ce or intolerance to spiritual
principles). And that last one about indifference and intolerance, they
even decided that it really needed to be emphasized so they put it in
italics, and thought that perhaps it should get read at the beginning of
every meeting...

The point is that, to this addict, all the solutions to my problems
today are in the Basic Text, and to a lesser extent some of our other
literature.

To me, the SWG, APPEARS to be very thorough, but it is not. Step 6 in
that guide is a joke; I was always taught that in order to become
willing to have my defects of character removed that I needed to take
each one, and work the first 5 steps with it. So, for instance, if I
prioritize ANGER as my most destructive defect, then I would do
something like:
I admitted that I was powerless over my anger, that my life had become
unmanageable due to my anger.

I came to believe that a Power greater than myself AND my anger could
restore me to sanity.

I made a decision to turn my will, my anger and my life over to the care
of god/dess as I understand her/him/it.

I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of my anger.

I admitted to god/dess, to myself, and to another human being the exact
nature of my anger.

Then, WE do that with each defect, and my sponsor said "Don't worry-you
have them ALL" so it's quite a lot of work. I fail to see how working
Step 6 according to the SWG could possibly get to the exact nature of my
defects, or how it can help me to learn to live all the previous steps
as my defects arise.
I could give other examples for each Step, but hopefully I've made a
point, and, if nothing else, maybe I've served to at least make this a
viable topic of discussion for someone.

[Dave T.]

I didn't vote for the SWG because I felt it would become the "Approved" way of working the steps and like you I liked the diversity in the way the steps were worked and passed down, however I disagree with your statement that this book was written for financial reasons or to be used by treatment centers, both things are results of it's being written but the reason it was written is exactly what you quoted from the book. The only thing they left out was that it was being pushed by some of these "Long sponsorship
lineages" you referred to, they wanted their way of working the steps to be the "approved" way but of course when it came to writing them no one way was used and the result is a mish-mash of many ways or a generalization.

Personally my experience is that the 12 Steps are a spiritual process, not an intellectual one. Meaning it's an inside job. I've known people who didn't write any steps but 4 and have had a spiritual awakening and I have known people who have done their
"homework" but still operate primarily on self.

The Sponsorship book was pushed through in the same way.

Both books were wanted by large parts of the Fellowship and now none of them use them. The SWG seems to be being used by everyone else though, the Sponsorship book turned out to be so general (the only way it could be since sponsorship styles and experience vary so much) it is pretty much useless and shows it was never really needed.

I guess what I'm saying is the impedus for these books came from people who wanted their way to be everyone's way.

I've worked the steps a few different ways with different sponsors; I show sponsees how to work the steps just like I worked the steps, not anyone else's way or what's the general experience of the Fellowship; something about sharing our experience, strength and hope.

I have been told I am closed minded because I won't work the steps out of the SWG and have even heard people being told they were working the steps wrong because they weren't using the SWG, but I used to hear that said by different sponship families too if you didn't do it their way.

[dalin]

I have worked the steps several ways as well.
I used the old step guides we have posted here,
done by Kermit,Mr, Bill(jewelry man at conventions) and a couple others.
Also,the back to basics that is listed here.
Right now I am doing a step study with a bunch of guys.
We are using the full meal deal,using all 3 guides together.
A few foks I know helped right the step guide.
They tell me that the guide they wrote is not the one we
have.Alot of things were changed

[Dave T.]

I have worked the steps several ways as well.
I used the old step guides we have posted here,
done by Kermit,Mr, Bill(jewelry man at conventions) and a couple others.
Also,the back to basics that is listed here.
Right now I am doing a step study with a bunch of guys.
We are using the full meal deal,using all 3 guides together.
A few foks I know helped right the step guide.
They tell me that the guide they wrote is not the one we
have.Alot of things were changed

What we have is what we approved. These folks may have participated early in the process but what we have is what was sent out to the Fellowship for approval. Our literature gets changed a lot before it's approved.

[Just42Dave]

strange topic

[dalin]

My sponsor has never used the guide.
All the guys in our step study have a couple 24's.
We have 2 guys under a year.
Most have been thru the steps before.

[Montauktammy]

My sponsor has never used the guide.
All the guys in our step study have a couple 24's.
We have 2 guys under a year.
Most have been thru the steps before.

I use the Guide, but I use it different, I use it to better expand on the steps, I use it as a guideline for me as a sponsor, when I use it as a sponsee I use it as a guideline for my sponsor to see where I am at in that step. I also use the How and Why and the Basic Text and pamphlets. I also don't go for the hole working the steps with a group of people, for me this is a personal journey that I need to work on me and apply to myself, and when I work it with a sponsee I do keep them on the step for a while to teach them practable application in living. I use it as a tool for me in sponsorship

[dalin]

We are begining another step study.
One in person localy,and one on facebook,wich will
be the first worldwide step study with folks(men)
from 9 countries
Still praying for openmindedness and willingness.

[wecame2]

Read the Preface in the Step Guides.

[dalin]

YEA

[Just42Dave]

Read the Preface in the Step Guides.I Know a guy that is sponsoring a newcomer....He has 4 mos the step guide will help...No...........the sponsor has the 4 mos hahahahahahahahamwuhahahahahahaamuah ha ha hahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!:3:

[Just42Dave]

Funny how people come here post once and its usually some self righteous statement and you never see them again

[Just42Dave]

We are begining another step study.
One in person localy,and one on facebook,wich will
be the first worldwide step study with folks(men)
from 9 countries
Still praying for openmindedness and willingness.

Whats the face book one Dalin....Im Lpion Holland search and friend request me please?????/

[AngryDan]

Sadly, NA no longer embraces, or for that matter, even tolerates diversity. People are now ostracized if they do not conform to every piece of new "literature" put out by NAW$. "Step guide is only way to work steps" ... a popular refrain now-a-days.
I see it as laziness on the part of sponsors as well as sponsees....more like filling out a form rather than a growing, learning thought process. It's easy for a sponsor to throw a swg at a newcomer, rather than really sit down or even hang out with a newcomer. "here, fill this out".

I see, in my area, it being used as a "show off" ...during sharing; "I've got 5 sponsees on step 6 out of the guide right now"...
McSteps....9 months clean and on step twelve...


Dalin wrote:
'Simply working the Steps in the manner they are
presented in that book does not offer the guarantee against relapse that
LIVING the Steps does, and I'm simply not convinced that book instructs
us how to live them."
Man, I could not agree more with that statement... I see them all the time-the one year wonders pontificating about working all the steps, only to be gone from the rooms a month later....


Oh, and a PS: the statement about it being for monetary gain is spot on. Addiction businesses threatened to Hazeldon to pull NA out of their useage if Hazeldon didnt convince NA to come up with more money making literature like AA. And we know that Hazeldon is the real control of NAW$....and with the use of the con-saps, any decision made by the beancounters can be called "fellowship" decision.

[skyhook]

Fortunatley, the spirit of recovery is not bound to mans attempts to quantify it, package it or sell it.

These notions may be noble in essence and give it flight, but it is sustained within each individual effort and built on a platform of hope. Find the hope inside of you, however small it may be, and discover the beginning of a recovery journey.

Hope, you see, is within all of us and therefore cannot be bottled or sold.

Just my opinion.