dalin
02-07-2008, 05:13 AM
Control Or Acceptance? - By practicing acceptance, we can all enjoy more freedom, flow, happiness and peace! However, we are more likely to go into practicing ‘control’ rather than ‘acceptance’ when we wish to achieve a goal or fulfill a desire. We essentially engage all our control mechanisms such as guilt, fear, self-pity, power tripping, using withdrawal, and playing people off each other, to try to achieve our ends. The problem occurs when we do not get our way and choosing denial, continuing to indulge ourselves to our detriment, much like an alcoholic, in the illusion of control.
Sometimes when it hurts too much to continue hanging on, we concede defeat and let go! This letting go constitutes a kind of forced acceptance and what is worthy of noting is that in the midst of our surrender, often a solution taking us directly towards our original destination appears and like a magic carpet, lifts and carries us to this destination with ease, grace and simplicity. So why is it then that despite this revelation, instead of learning from it and going directly to practicing acceptance, we still choose our ‘controls’ when the next situation arrives? The answer to this question is not an obvious one. Perhaps, in part, it is because we are creatures of habit and once having confused ourselves by thinking that control, rather than acceptance is the way to being safe, powerful and free, we simply continue to indulge that delusion. We may also feel that the very thought of letting go of control and potentially risking being ‘out of control’, is simply too frightening a prospect.
Experience shows that ultimately, control is an illusion and that only through practicing acceptance can we truly experience balance, freedom and self-empowerment. It informs us that regardless of the area in our lives we are trying to manipulate and control, life will humble us by bringing us to a place of ‘acceptance’. It is for this reason that the phrase ‘practicing acceptance’ rather than ‘choosing acceptance’ has been used as acceptance is more an ‘inevitability’ rather than a choice. Also, as offal and frightening as it may seem to the ego identified, controlling mind, acceptance when sincerely practiced with awareness and conviction, is a highly powerful and freeing ally to an oft troubled existence.
Qualities of Acceptance - a Checklist - Although life does not come with a guarantee, rest assured that by choosing the path of acceptance over control, along with finding it to be a highly difficult and challenging endeavor, it is also like most valuable things, a highly worthwhile and rewarding one. Through practicing acceptance, situations involving family conflict, career obstacles or challenges within your intimate relationships which once created great distress and unhappiness will no longer affect you negatively. Instead, you will be able to maintain your poise and composure and remain unaffected by whatever ‘storm’ you find yourself immersed in. A good motto which aptly encapsulates and embodies the essence of acceptance is the saying, “Live and Let Live”. Ultimately, acceptance will bring you through your resistance, fears and denials to a place of clarity and personal empowerment.
The following checklist outlines several key qualities of ‘acceptance’ which are worthy of reflection. By pondering these qualities, identify those which speak to you within the context of your own personal existence and whose presence you would like to see more of in your life. Then challenge yourself by embarking on a journey of consciously practicing acceptance rather than control and experience for yourself a richer, more dynamic and overall an enhanced quality of life!
1.Acceptance allows you to not take others actions personally.
2.Acceptance does not mean giving in.
3.Acceptance opens our being to there being another way.
4.Acceptance support us in getting real and honest about our fears and insecurities.
5.Acceptance releases us from judgment by allowing others to be where they are.
6.Acceptance cancels EGO through the vehicle of humility.
7.Acceptance doesn't make others wrong so we can be right
8.Acceptance cancels narrow-mindedness and replaces it with a bigger, more inclusive picture.
9.Acceptance frees our creative potential.
10.Acceptance validates our self-worth and releases us from having to always be proving ourselves.
11.Acceptance supports us in acting vs. reacting.
12.Acceptance keeps us from becoming immobilized when things don’t go our way.
13.Acceptance shows us the value of forgiveness.
14.Acceptance frees us to the joy of being ‘in the moment’.
15.Acceptance brings Peace!
:195:
Sometimes when it hurts too much to continue hanging on, we concede defeat and let go! This letting go constitutes a kind of forced acceptance and what is worthy of noting is that in the midst of our surrender, often a solution taking us directly towards our original destination appears and like a magic carpet, lifts and carries us to this destination with ease, grace and simplicity. So why is it then that despite this revelation, instead of learning from it and going directly to practicing acceptance, we still choose our ‘controls’ when the next situation arrives? The answer to this question is not an obvious one. Perhaps, in part, it is because we are creatures of habit and once having confused ourselves by thinking that control, rather than acceptance is the way to being safe, powerful and free, we simply continue to indulge that delusion. We may also feel that the very thought of letting go of control and potentially risking being ‘out of control’, is simply too frightening a prospect.
Experience shows that ultimately, control is an illusion and that only through practicing acceptance can we truly experience balance, freedom and self-empowerment. It informs us that regardless of the area in our lives we are trying to manipulate and control, life will humble us by bringing us to a place of ‘acceptance’. It is for this reason that the phrase ‘practicing acceptance’ rather than ‘choosing acceptance’ has been used as acceptance is more an ‘inevitability’ rather than a choice. Also, as offal and frightening as it may seem to the ego identified, controlling mind, acceptance when sincerely practiced with awareness and conviction, is a highly powerful and freeing ally to an oft troubled existence.
Qualities of Acceptance - a Checklist - Although life does not come with a guarantee, rest assured that by choosing the path of acceptance over control, along with finding it to be a highly difficult and challenging endeavor, it is also like most valuable things, a highly worthwhile and rewarding one. Through practicing acceptance, situations involving family conflict, career obstacles or challenges within your intimate relationships which once created great distress and unhappiness will no longer affect you negatively. Instead, you will be able to maintain your poise and composure and remain unaffected by whatever ‘storm’ you find yourself immersed in. A good motto which aptly encapsulates and embodies the essence of acceptance is the saying, “Live and Let Live”. Ultimately, acceptance will bring you through your resistance, fears and denials to a place of clarity and personal empowerment.
The following checklist outlines several key qualities of ‘acceptance’ which are worthy of reflection. By pondering these qualities, identify those which speak to you within the context of your own personal existence and whose presence you would like to see more of in your life. Then challenge yourself by embarking on a journey of consciously practicing acceptance rather than control and experience for yourself a richer, more dynamic and overall an enhanced quality of life!
1.Acceptance allows you to not take others actions personally.
2.Acceptance does not mean giving in.
3.Acceptance opens our being to there being another way.
4.Acceptance support us in getting real and honest about our fears and insecurities.
5.Acceptance releases us from judgment by allowing others to be where they are.
6.Acceptance cancels EGO through the vehicle of humility.
7.Acceptance doesn't make others wrong so we can be right
8.Acceptance cancels narrow-mindedness and replaces it with a bigger, more inclusive picture.
9.Acceptance frees our creative potential.
10.Acceptance validates our self-worth and releases us from having to always be proving ourselves.
11.Acceptance supports us in acting vs. reacting.
12.Acceptance keeps us from becoming immobilized when things don’t go our way.
13.Acceptance shows us the value of forgiveness.
14.Acceptance frees us to the joy of being ‘in the moment’.
15.Acceptance brings Peace!
:195: