teach and learn or do we just spout recovery

[Montauktammy]

"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using."
I have a lot of issues with people coming up to me and making a judgment calls about some relapsers, and putting them down about relapsing. We know how hard it is to stop using right how is it that we could ever have the right to judge some one else's desire to stop using. So some one walks in the rooms who you know had some clean time and they pick up a white key tag for the 10th time do we supportively hold them up or do we kick a dog when he is down? A lot of people in this area I am in now seem to be doing the kicking, and I am not sure why. These are the same people that sat in judgment of me for 13 stepping and yes I knew it was wrong when I did it the thing was I made a mistake and I learn from them is it not the same for the ones who pick up a white key tag for the 10th time? So do we kick a dog when they are down and do the hard ass thing or do we love them till they learn to love them self and give them a hand up, not a hand out. Do we try to teach and learn or do we just spout recovery? :42:

[barbie25]

I think we should teach and learn. Because when we are teaching we are also learning. You never should kick a dog when they are down, cause you could someday be that dog. Treat others as you want to be treated. Love Pray Help. That is what I think anyway. Good topic !!:42:

[admin]

As well as learning from others how I desire to be, I have also learned from others how I do not desire to be. Those who behave in a manner I do not agree with, I pray for and I pray for myself also. It is not for me to judge anyone. Personally, I am for lifting others up.

[SpaceChick75]

I think we can do all of them. Seeing people come back in and getting a white tag helps me stay clean. I can try to teach them about my recovery and what has worked for me. I can also be supportive and tell them to keep coming back.

Some people have to be the hard ass -- I think it keeps them a safe distance from people so they don't get hurt. Others, like myself, prefer a different approach because that's just who I am. I think we should share and teach recovery while holding true to the spirit of the program and help other addicts.:42:

[eve3]

each one teach one,is what ive heard! i dont like putting people down either i for 1 couldnt stay clean in a detox thats how difficut it is!!!!i keep that in mind i feel there pain i welcome them or who ever back in and even offer my # out if they use it cool if not its on them good share all ty mountauk,

[Dan B]

:11:Addiction is such a cunning enemy of life or at least it was in my life how do I judge that at least today in recovery I have a chance and that is what I have learned. I do learn from others and I believe that is a God thing and I except that with gratitude. The program of NA has convinced me that I need to change myself, insstead of trying to change the people and situations around me-Love Dan B

[sioux]

For me, recovery does not include relapse, getting drunk, picking up...whatever term you wish to use.

For others, the First Step don't come easy, sometimes it don't come at all. Some people are going to die.

Getting sober is tough. Lots of tough guys and gals come to get sober/clean. The really tough ones stay sober.

Some of us have tried to help others that are unwilling or unable to completely abandon themselves to this simple program. We are to move on to work with someone who wants this if that be the case. We don't spend endless time with someone who doesn't want what we have. It may look as if we are abandoning them, when in fact we are looking to carry the message to someone who wants to hear it.

I have worked with a lot of sponsees over the years. Many are not around for a host of reasons. I am still sober. Evidence that it works, it really does. Hard fact: I can't get anyone sober or keep them that way. I can only show them what has worked for me. The rest is up to them. I gotta let them go.

Lots of folks come to AA/NA that really aren't alkies or addicts. Some are problem drinkers and users. Some people are lonely and the fellow/femaleship provides them care from their worries and lives. Hard to believe, but very true.

Some get sober and reak havoc on the fellowship, like the dating game scenario, and specifically in my case, wanting to rewrite the Big Book, the Lord's Prayer, and parts of the Preamble. They were pretty tolerant of me. I try to remember that.

I also try to remember that simple line..."Do not be discouraged." Sometimes I apply it more to myself in the witness of a chronic relapser. Sometimes the fear is more about me.

The truth is the odds are not good for us to survive our disease. There is a lot of fear in that for oldtimers as well as middle of the roaders, and newcomers too. Sometimes we'd rather see success than failures because it is a big reminder of that fact that we are all only one drink away. We are mortals, not gurus. We don't have the answers to everything, but we know how to stay sober...one day at a time only.

I also try to remember this is a disease of perception. Sometimes I only imagine the disdain of others, when in reality it is something more along the fear I mention.

Then there are truly the assholes that have forged such a big name for themselves in the halls of the fellowship that they forgot to get a life. And I'm not talking oldtimers here exclusively. Arrogance in newcomers is really scary to me having been there and done that.

I just keep coming back and work on my own spiritual growth. I try to remember the importance of anonimity being the foundation to your personal path as well as my own. In other words, I stay out of all that dramatic stuff. It is bad for my soul.

[dalin]

I know that I truly want to go by the saying "Each one,teach one"
I truly try so hard.
The truth of the deal,is that my judgement pops out when I am not
spiritualy centered.
It does realy suck so bad,but alot of days when I am far from being
attached to my Higher Power,my character defects come out swinging
and judging,and seeing so much of myself in everyone who that crosses my path.
Normaly,when I feel like crap myself,I will go on that outer
patrol seeking a victim.
I know that my sponsor in the past had me to look at everyone
as a loving children of God,especialy the ones I had issues with.


BASIC TEXT
TRADITION WORKSHEET

TRADITION THREE: “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using.” (Page 62- 63)

Tradition Three guarantees freedom for recovery to any addict who has the desire to stop using.

1) Who is this tradition important for? (Paragraph 1)

2) What is the key word in this tradition? (Paragraph 1)

3) What one painful fact has emerged again and again in our experience with
carrying the message? (Paragraph 1)

4) What seven things can happen to addicts and they still will not stop until they want to stop? (Paragraph 1)

5) What is the only requirement for membership? (Paragraph 2)

6) This tradition ensures us that regardless of what …any addict is free to practice the NA way of life? (Paragraph 2)

7) Is membership in Narcotics Anonymous automatic? (Paragraph 3)

8) What is the ideal state for our Fellowship? (Paragraph 4)

9) What do we realize about recovery and life without drugs? (Paragraph 4)

10) Why do we open our doors to other addicts? (Paragraph 4)

11) Who will join our new way of life? (Paragraph 4)

12) How can we apply and practice the spiritual lessons of freedom of choice, equality and non-judgmental behavior in our homes, toward our family and loved ones? (From the heart)



This month in the Cleantime N.A. newsletter that I edit,this month I
had an @$$hole...um..rectom standing at the podium saying
"Even though I am clean,I am still an @$$hole"as he throughs a ring of
toilet paper behind him.
If anyone wants an email subscriptian to the newsletter let me know.:162:
:tongue::2:

I hope noone got offended.

[Montauktammy]

I know that I truly want to go by the saying "Each one,teach one"
I truly try so hard.
The truth of the deal,is that my judgement pops out when I am not
spiritualy centered.
It does realy suck so bad,but alot of days when I am far from being
attached to my Higher Power,my character defects come out swinging
and judging,and seeing so much of myself in everyone who that crosses my path.
Normaly,when I feel like crap myself,I will go on that outer
patrol seeking a victim.
I know that my sponsor in the past had me to look at everyone
as a loving children of God,especialy the ones I had issues with.


have also learned from others how I do not desire to be.
thank you so true for me too

[Montauktammy]

As I pray for the ones who have relapsed I close my eyes and go back to teaching my child how to walk, she would fall cry and I would go over brush her off give her a kiss and set her back on her feet for another try, she walks very well now, but still trips and falls from time to time and when it hurts she cries and I give her a kiss and help her up, I can't pick her up any more, I help her clean her wounds so they will heal, and they do. For the ones who seem to judge to harshly, I was one of them at one time until I stared making mistakes in my recovery, so I pry that they can be more loving and kind the one thing I know about judgmental people is they judge themselves most of all. I try to remember that God is the one who judges not me, God has forgiven me why would he not forgive others not my job, my job to love others!

With love and service
Tammy

[kaistevens]

For myself, when I catch myself being judgemental of others, I have always been trying very hard not to look at me. It has worked that way for me every time so far.

When I start poking my nose in someone elses business, I am trying to avoid my own. The Big Book says that for those who don't stay completely sober, their lives improve. I could be right there tomorrow, but for the grace of God.

[dragonflygrl]

It takes what it takes. It says in the NA basic text that relapse is not required but it can and does happen. I did not stay clean the first time..or the second for that matter. However, I am clean today and have put a few 24hrs back to back.. I believe that human beings have a tendancy to judge each other. It is a sad state, but we do not have to participate. Welcome that newcomer! They are the future of our program!! I have seen people do the "revolving door" often, and you tend to guard yourself some with those. But don't disparage them..they deserve a chance just like you and me. Many have been there done that. Help them through..and maybe that one..just one open arm is what they need. Maybe that one kind word..that one encouraging word or hug will make the difference..you never know.