Today's thought from Hazelden

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.
--Mortimer Adler

In some areas of our lives we are right on target. Our level of maturity is exactly as it should be, and we are going through the stages that people of our age ought to be going through. In other areas, this is not so. We are complex people, irregular, uneven. In all of us there are areas fixated in some emotional ice age, areas that have not felt the freeing warmth of the sun.

We cannot expect ourselves to move forward all at once. Not only is it okay to move slowly - it's often the only way it can be. Confusion, conflict, or pain may have caused us to let our memories or feelings be frozen safely away. This has been a long process, and we can allow ourselves more time to heal. The task now is not to deny or hide from these changes, but to have confidence that the healing warmth of the program will reflect on all areas of our lives and help make us whole.

I am thankful I am given both time and patience in which to continue my growth.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

This program is one of submission, release, and action. When we were irrational, we were submitting to a power greater than ourselves - our affliction. Our self-wills were no use against the power. One encounter and we were completely adrift. In our group we stop submitting to the power of our affliction. Instead we submit to a Higher Power, greater than ourselves. Have I submitted myself to that Higher Power?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY
Ceaseless activity is not God's plan for your life. Times of withdrawal for renewal of strength are always necessary. When you feel the faintest tremor of fear, stop all work. Stop everything and rest until you are strong again. Deal in the same manner with tiredness, for then you need rest of body. You cannot expect to do all things and depend upon the Higher Power to keep you from exhaustion. Physical and mental fatigue are yours to control.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
I pray that I may learn how to rest and to listen, as well as how to work. I pray that I may know when to withdraw for renewal of strength.

You are reading from the book:
Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

She walks around all day quietly, but underneath it she's electric angry energy inside a passive form. The common woman is as common as a thunderstorm.
--Judy Grahn

Many people spend their days in anger and aren't aware of it. The conditions of work and life make many of us angry; we feel powerless to change them, and our frustration angers us more.

The Serenity Prayer asks for "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." If we examine our lives fearlessly, we may find many things that are in our power to change.

Since we cannot change, or do not choose to change some things, we'd do well to accept them, instead of spinning our wheels in unproductive anger or turning the anger in, against ourselves. And when we summon the courage to change the things we can, our lives will bless us.

Today I'll look at anger as something I've chosen, instead of something inevitable. Is it covering fear? How can I resolve it?

You are reading from the book:



The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Today's thoughts from Hazelden are:

I Wish I Were

I wish I were big enough to honestly admit all my shortcomings.

Brilliant enough to accept praise without it making me arrogant.

Tall enough to tower over dishonesty.

Strong enough to welcome criticism.

Compassionate enough to understand human frailties.

Wise enough to recognize mistakes.

Humble enough to appreciate greatness.

Brave enough to stand by my friends.

Human enough to be thoughtful of my neighbor.

And spiritual enough to be devoted to the love of God.

-- Author unknown --

You are reading from the book:



The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

He who requires urging to do a noble act will never accomplish it.
--Kahlil Gibran

The Third Step speaks of willingness. Willingness puts our hearts and souls into the task at hand. Willingness doesn't get rid of the fears, but it helps us find the courage to work through them. Willingness doesn't give us the knowledge to solve the problem, but it may give us the energy to leave our isolation and seek out others with the knowledge. Willingness doesn't do away with ego; it just shows us an alternative to ego. Willingness is the voice of our Higher Power saying, "I believe in you and want you to do the same." Willingness is the seed wanting to break through the soil to see the light of day, to be what it is meant to be.

Prayer for the Day

I pray for willingness to do the next right thing. I seek courage, knowledge, the support of others, and my Higher Power's guidance.

Today's Action

I will work to notice how willingness is behind all actions. I will work today to be a willing participant in my own life, and in my own recovery.

You are reading from the book:



God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

We can practice forgiveness each day.

Resentments have a way of creeping back into my psyche even after I have let go of them. I know that holding a grudge is harmful to my emotional health and can threaten my abstinence, but what can I do when I keep feeling anger toward someone?

In the interest of recovery, in my own best interest, I can continue to forgive each day. I may not be able to forgive the person once and for all, but I can do it right now, just for today. With practice, who knows? Perhaps the resentment will disappear.

When I remember that my own track record is far from perfect, I realize I could use some daily forgiveness too, both from others and from myself.

Just for now, I can let go of resentments and forgive. If resentments come back, I can forgive again.

You are reading from the book:


Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I hope I shall follow firmness of virtue enough to maintain that I consider the most enviable of all titles - the character of an honest man.
--George Washington

Happiness in recovery and in society depends on our honesty. We create pain for others, and ourselves, when we are dishonest. True honesty begins within each of us and flows out to touch those around us. If we are to be true to society, and to ourselves, we cannot feel one thing in our hearts and outwardly speak different views.

There is no such thing as too much honesty. When we practice honesty in all our affairs, we discover that the reason for being honest is not because it is expected of us, but because we find that honesty avoids problems and makes our life happier.

When I am honest with myself and others, I am making progress toward greatness of character.

You are reading from the book: Easy Does It by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I wish you a slow recovery.
--Saying heard in meetings

Newcomer

I feel as if I should be doing better than this by now.

Sponsor

I can identify with your belief that you should be doing better faster. I sometimes feel that about the pace of my own recovery, as if we recovering people are in some sort of race with time.

As active addicts, we had little experience with any long process. We believed in instant results, like the ones we were used to getting from our addictive substance or behavior. So we may not be qualified to judge what our rate of progress should be.

One antidote to my impatience is hearing about myself from people who saw me at meetings in the early days of my recovery. Paradoxically, I feel reassured when they laugh and make statements like, "I remember what you were like; you were bouncing off the walls!" Their perspective reminds me that I've come a distance on my journey.

What can best further your journey is leaving the timetable for recovery in your Higher Power's hands as you focus your whole being - all of your attention - on this present moment.

Today, I don't measure myself. I trust that I'm everything I should be in this moment.

You are reading from the book:



If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Wishing others a "slow recovery"...Wow! How important that is.

I am a slow learner..and feel blessed. Tho it may have once been what I concidered a flaw-it truly is a tremendous asset. Knowing the rebel within me that led me to run so far, so hard and so fast, the slow process of healing and walking this journey of recovery I now have a much deeper understanding of the fact that I will never fullly recover nor graduate, a deeper conviction of my need to remain constantly mindful of how sublt, how "cunning, baffling and powerful "our disease is. It has given me the priceless gift of being consciously aware that I do have only a daily repreive based on my Spiritual condition, the profound knowledge of my need for a Power greater than myself to lead me and to guide me.

It truly was humbling to know the just how powerless I truly.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Stop building cases

You don't have to build a big drama around your life. We may need to end a relationship or explore a new career. Instead of simply saying, This is what I'm going to do, we build a case.

Like a lawyer getting ready to go to court, we prepare our arguments. We take one feeling and build a hundred page document around it, prepared to battle our case.

You can build cases if you want to. But usually, there's a hidden feeling underneath all that case building that's asking to be cleared. It could be a tinge of guilt or fear. Or it could just be the belief that it's not okay to clearly express ourselves, say how it feels to us, and so what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Let go of the drama. Just say what you need and how it feels to you.

Be as simple and clear as you can in expressing yourself. If you find yourself building a case or creating a big dramatic scene, take a moment. Why are you making such a fuss?

God, help me keep it simple, especially when it comes to expressing myself.

You are reading from the book: More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Detachment means "freedom from emotion."

Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.

At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.

I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come.

You are reading from the book: A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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I realy like what Hazelton says today.

How many times have we heard others say to us "oh, you shouldn't feel that way" Then we feel bad...sometimes even feel guilty about the way we feel.

There are no should or shouldn'ts in feelings. They are neither right nor wrong...They just are. We recognize them....We own them as our own. Then if need be they are turned over to God.

Allowing others to decide what to feel or not feel is giving away parts of ourselves. We can own our own feelings ansd allow others to own their own. We can take responsibility for our own feelings. The problem we all had when we were out there active in our drinking and using carreers was how we acted on our feelings...how we stuffed our feeliongs...how we escaped into our bottle or substance to escape or hide from our feelings.

Today. I can and do own my own feelings. I allow God to dicipline me in the way to express those feelings. The feelings are mine. I own them. They are a part of me. Today I am responsible to know how to express those feelings.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Seeing the good.

The beauty of our souls shines in many ways. The greatest of these is love. In the spirit of loving kindness, every day a little ugliness is removed; our perspective on life grows broader and deeper.

In the spirit of love, our lives become fresher, our souls humbler; evil seems to disappear, and we learn to distinguish sinner from the sin.

Do I see the good in people?

Higher Power, let me walk in your love and see the good in all things.

You are reading from the book: Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

A.A. Thought for the Day

We used to take a negative view of almost everything. There seemed to be very little good in the world, but lots of hypocrisy and sham. People could not be trusted. Those were our general attitudes toward life. Now we are more positive. We believe in people and in their capabilities. There is much love and truth and honesty in the world. Am I less negative and more positive?

Meditation for the Day

I think of God as a Great Friend and try to realize the wonder of that friendship. When I give God not only worship, obedience, and allegiance, but also close companionship, then God becomes my friend, even as I am God's. I can feel we are working together. My prayers become more real to me when I feel that God counts on my friendship and I count on God's.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may think of God as my friend.

You are reading from the book: Twenty-four Hours a Day for Teens by Anonymous

[sedona]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.
--Mortimer Adler

In some areas of our lives we are right on target. Our level of maturity is exactly as it should be, and we are going through the stages that people of our age ought to be going through. In other areas, this is not so. We are complex people, irregular, uneven. In all of us there are areas fixated in some emotional ice age, areas that have not felt the freeing warmth of the sun.

We cannot expect ourselves to move forward all at once. Not only is it okay to move slowly - it's often the only way it can be. Confusion, conflict, or pain may have caused us to let our memories or feelings be frozen safely away. This has been a long process, and we can allow ourselves more time to heal. The task now is not to deny or hide from these changes, but to have confidence that the healing warmth of the program will reflect on all areas of our lives and help make us whole.

I am thankful I am given both time and patience in which to continue my growth.

:85::85:

[sedona]

my home group is called the crystelis the protection of the cacoon untill we emerg and fly . thank you for that reminder work has prevented me from that weeting for a fue weeks i never miss my 530 tho god speeks thru my aa famlie

[sedona]

thank u so m uch i always here exactly what i need

[sedona]

THANKYOU THANK YOU IM CRING TEERS OF GRATITUDE I FEEL SO BLESSED TO BE ALCAHOLIC ITS SAVING MY LIFE !!!!!! agin i say shake your braines and to the wave . ive finely found a god i can dance with if i only let him lead . I no longer need to run and hide in my unsafe safe places . thank you agine for the time you take to inspire me !!

[sedona]

is any one there

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Goodwill

Have you ever envied someone else's good fortune? Consider the friend who calls with a different ring to her voice. Instead of sharing her troubles and woes, she proceeds to tell you good news. Something exciting, financially beneficial, glamorous, wonderful beyond belief has happened in her life. It's not a fantasy. It's one of those rare moments when a dream has come true.

"That's wonderful," you may say, meaning every word. At first.

"Why her?" You may later think. "What about me? When am I going to get a break?" As hard as we may try not to feel that way, a little jealousy, envy, and self-pity replace the joy we felt for our friend.

Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are.

Sometimes we know when we're envying and resenting others. Other times it's a subtle undercurrent that we're not aware of, but it invades our lives. It may only be a slight feeling of smugness when we hear that something unfortunate has happened to someone we perceive as being more fortunate than we are.

Goodwill isn't just the name of a secondhand store or a phrase used in songs during the holiday season.

You are reading from the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Reflection for the Day

If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I tend to rationalize the situation and lay the blame on someone else? When I am in such a state, is my conversation punctuated with, "He did." "She said." "They did."? Or can I honestly admit that perhaps I'm at fault. My peace of mind depends on overcoming my negative attitudes and tendency toward rationalization. Will I try, day by day, to be rigorously honest with myself?

Today I Pray

May I catch myself as I talk in the third person, "He did..." or "They promised..." or "She said she would..." and listen for the blaming that has become such a pattern for me and preserves delusion. May I do a turnabout and face myself instead.

Today I Will Remember

Honesty is the only policy.

You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The creative thinker is flexible and adaptable and prepared to rearrange his thinking.
--A.J. Cropley

Newcomer

I'm in a crisis. I got myself into it -- there's no one else to blame. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it yet; I'm going back and forth over the alternatives. I can't think about anything else right now.

Sponsor

Your word "alternatives" is a helpful one. In most situations, we have more options to choose from than we can see at first. There usually is a "Plan B" if we're willing to open ourselves to it.

When I was active in my addiction - and for a period of time in recovery as well - I frequently found myself in the middle of a crisis. The sense of always being in crisis comes from a refusal to see that we have choices. For example, we may leave on time for an appointment but find ourselves in a traffic jam cause by an accident. If lateness is the inevitable result, we can choose to punish ourselves with whatever lateness represents to us, or we can say to ourselves, "I guess the schedule I had in mind for today has been changed; I may as well accept it." Without the additional burden of self-punishment, we can see things in perspective. Whatever happens, we don't pick up our addictive substance or behavior. We can turn to our Higher Power in prayer and meditation to help us regain a sense of balance.

Today, I open to choosing among alternatives as I substitute the word "situation" for the word "problem."

You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It is the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires.
--Rebecca West

Our soul's pure desires, those that harm no one else, are really invitations from God for us to try new activities, to perhaps move along unfamiliar corridors, or tackle challenges that will carry us closer to our destiny. Fulfilling our desires can expand our knowledge of life, but even more, it can strengthen our trust in our Higher Power.

Perhaps our primary goal is to trust more in our Higher Power's presence, loving guidance, and commitment to our growth. Our Higher Power is our most treasured friend and teacher, our most significant other. We'll never be led astray with the guidance offered us for fulfilling our purest desires.

I will ask God for direction and attune myself to my innermost desires today.

You are reading from the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Whenever I meet someone new, male or female, I remember my "ideal relationship" list -- my list for a partner also represents most of the things I would like in my friendships. When I'm deciding whether I want someone to be my friend, I think of the things on my list that are most important to me, and where I'm willing to compromise.

"Respects my boundaries" should be at the top of my list for any relationship, and when I meet someone new, I pay attention to the signals that show me if they have this quality. I may set boundaries as simple as, "Please don't call after eight o'clock" or, "I can't see you tomorrow because I have other plans" or, "I don't feel comfortable inviting you over yet."

If these simple boundaries are ignored, I will let the relationship go, knowing that once someone ignores simple boundaries, they will most likely ignore the more important ones. Better to get out now than to repeat past mistakes.

You are reading from the book: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smit

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Today's thoughts from Hazelden are:

Attitudes and Limitations

What we consider our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weaknesses.

Excessive pride in "being able to handle everything," for example, may result in our taking on other people's responsibilities. In "taking over," we often lessen another's desire to meet his or her own obligations.

A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on, or ignore, the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.

What are some other examples of virtues becoming vices?

Determination, to excess, becomes obstinacy and stubbornness. Honesty, when misdirected, is synonymous with gossip and slander. Sympathy and concern, overdone, can cripple and smother.

TODAY I will make a list of ten of my strengths and weaknesses. How has acting on each of these virtues and vices created joy or sorrow in my life? I will be aware that my strengths can be my worst enemies if I abuse them.

You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
--Niccolo Machiavelli

Acceptance may be one of the most difficult things to learn, for it means we must give up the desire to control our life and its outcome. Once we have truly received this great gift we will learn that acceptance need not take away our strength - on the contrary, we will have an inner strength we never thought possible.

When we decided to meet the challenge of a sober life we took the first step toward acceptance - we accepted the fact that we have a disease, a chronic disease that will always be with us. By accepting this fact we will be able to cope with our lifelong struggle. This way we willingly accept the friendship of our group members and the wisdom they offer us. They have been where we are coming from, they have suffered as we suffer, and they have felt the hope we now feel.

We are being offered a way of life that, if we follow it, will bring us a peace of mind we may never have felt. By our surrender we are now willing to receive something that is being offered to us - the beginning of a new way of life.

Today let me accept my powerlessness and any help.

You are reading from the book: Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

In the throes of our malady most of us were full of pride and selfishness. We believed that we could handle our affairs, even though we were making a mess of our lives. We were very stubborn and didn't like to take advice. We resented being told what to do. To us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into this program, we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome the old life-style. Have I learned that there is power in humility?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

I will come to God in faith, and I will be given a new way of living. This new way will alter my whole existence, the words I speak, and the influence I have. They will spring from the life within me. I see how important is the work of a person who has this new way of life. The words and example of such a person can have a wide influence for good in the world.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may learn the principles of the good life. I pray that I may meditate upon them and work at them because they are eternal.

You are reading from the book: Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck

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Today's thought for Hazelden is:

A.A. Thought for the Day

We in A.A. must remember that we are offering something intangible. We are offering a psychological and spiritual program. We are not offering a medical program. If people need medical treatment, we call in a doctor. If they need a medical prescription, we let the doctor prescribe for them. If they need hospital treatment, we let the hospital take care of them. Our vital A.A. work begins when a person is physically able to receive it. Am I willing to leave medical care to the doctors?

Meditation for the Day

Each moment of your day, which you devote to this new way of life, is a gift to God. The gift of the moments. Even when your desire to serve God is sincere, it is not an easy thing to give up many of these moments: the daily things you had planned to do, given up gladly so that you can perform a good service or say a kind word. If you can see God's purpose in many situations, it will be easier to give God many moments of your day. Every situation has two interpretations - your own and God's. Try to handle each situation in the way you believe God would have it handled.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may make my day count somewhat for God. I pray that I may not spend it all selfishly.

You are reading from the book: Twenty-Four Hours a Day by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Do I trigger gossip?

There is a saying that listening to gossip is gossip. How true! If there were no listeners, there would never be any gossip.

Some of us who pride ourselves in refraining from gossip may still have a problem with it. It's possible we still keep ears open for any juicy gossip that could fall our way. We might also shake the tree if we believe another person has some gossip to share with us. This is done in seemingly innocent ways, sometimes just by mentioning the name of a person to another who may have strong opinions to express.

The harm of gossip lies in what we do to ourselves when we engage in it. There is no way we can continue to have spiritual growth if we practice gossip, even as passive listeners. Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.

Let's beware of any tendency to say things that induce others to gossip. At the same time, let's tune out gossip that seems to occur spontaneously. Gossip is the enemy of the growth we desire.

It is a real relief to know that today I have no desire to spread gossip or listen to it. This includes things I might read in magazines or newspapers.

You are reading from the book: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Freedom is like taking a bath - you have to keep doing it every day!
--Flo Kennedy

Nothing stands still. Change is the law of life. We may sometimes feel that our personal gains have to be won over and over again. But looked at from another perspective, that's not s. Our solid personal gains are the ones that no one and nothing can take away from us.

They are tools for continued growth. Jobs, lovers, houses may change, but serenity and freedom of spirit are within our power to achieve - to maintain - or to give away.

Freedom means choice; our choice of what we do with our bodies, our money, our lives. If we decline to choose, the choice will be made for us. If we don't use or claim our freedom, we are giving it away. Our lives need our active, creative participation every moment.

Like bathing, I must daily exercise my freedom. No one can do it for me.

You are reading from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Today's thoughts from Hazelden are:

The Four Absolutes
by the Oxford Group, used by early AAs before the Twelve Steps were written

Absolute Honesty
Both with ourselves and with others, in word, deed, and thought.

Absolute Unselfishness
To be willing, wherever possible, to help others who need our help.

Absolute Love
You shall love the Lord with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. And. . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Absolute Purity
Purity of mind, of body, and of purpose.

You are reading from the book: The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
--E. E. Cummings

One of the true gifts of recovery is that we learn to laugh again. No matter how beat up our spirits have been by our addiction, no matter how heavy or hard our hearts have become, one day we find ourselves laughing. The lightness in our hearts lets us know life is good.

It may happen in a meeting as we suddenly stop taking ourselves so seriously. It may happen as we learn to socialize again and share a joke or score a goal in a group of our new friends. It may happen as we look into the eyes of someone who loves us and our hearts bubble over with joy.

Laughter heals us. It is one of our heart's songs. There is always some in our life, somewhere - and we need only look in order to find it.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please give me something today that will tickle me with joy or humor. Help me give in to the urge to laugh. I know my laughter is music to your ears.

Today's Action

When I notice something to laugh or smile about today, I will share it with others. Humor and joy are meant to be shared.

You are reading from the book: God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Daily, we determine our priorities.

Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day.

Being closely in touch with our inner selves and our Higher Power helps assure that our priorities reflect our genuine needs and desires. When we are securely centered, we will not be unduly influenced by other people but will know what is truly important to us and necessary for our health and well being.

We set our priorities when we do our grocery shopping and plan our meals. We set them when we choose between playing tennis or reading a book or going to see a friend. We set them when we decide how to respond to a negative comment from a co-worker. Our daily priorities reflect who we are and determine what we are becoming. Let's set them with care.

Today, may I put first things first.

You are reading from the book: Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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Saturday, May 10, 2008
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
To apologize: to lay the foundation for a future offense.
--Ambrose Bierce

"I'm sorry," said the blind man as he whipped the mare. "I'm sorry," said the mare, as she kicked the blind man in return.

"We're sorry," they assured themselves, as they pushed each other around again and again. Often, we push our troubles with other people around, creeping along in the old rough way, refusing to change because we're too involved to see another choice.

There's little sorrow in being sorry all the time. A true apology doesn't try to explain. Sometimes a true apology just breaks down and cries. Then maybe we're ready to go on - take someone by the hand, tell the whole sad truth, and work to find a better way.

Are my apologies excuses, or requests to be forgiven?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Presence

"C'mon, Hurry. Let's go," my friend said, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

I looked around. Another friend, Michael, had just walked into the room. I hadn't seen him for a while. I felt compelled to go over and talk to him, even though I didn't have anything important to say.

"Please, let's go," my friend said again. I started to leave with him, then changed my mind.

"Give me just a few minutes," I said, walking away from my friend and moving toward Michael. We didn't talk about much, Michael and I. But I'll never forget that conversation. He was killed in an accident two weeks later.

Some people suggest that our biggest regret when we die will be that we didn't work less and spend more time with the people we love. That may be true, but for me, I think it will be that I wasn't more completely present for each person, task, and moment in my life.

Action: Do you remember the "stop, look, and, listen" slogan from when you were a child? Every so often, even for a few minutes each day, try to remember to practice it.

Slow down or stop - depending on how fast you're going.

Look - see where you are, whom you're with, what you're doing. Give whatever you're doing your attention.

Listen - as much as possible, quell your anxiety, cease your mental chatter, and just listen to nature, to other people, to God, and to yourself.

You are reading from the book:


52 Weeks of Conscious Contact. Copyright 2003 by Melody Beattie.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Reflection for the Day

There is no advantage, no profit and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I'll be making progress. "We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us," wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is an Island. "But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it." Am I true to myself?

Today I Pray

May I count on my Higher Power to help me carry out the truth as I see it. May I never duck a consequence again. Consequence ducking became a parlor game for chemically addictive persons like me, until we lost all sense of relationship between action and outcome. Now that I am healing, please God, restore my balance.

Today I Will Remember

Match the act with the consequence.

You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Newcomer

I signed up to take a course in something I'm kind of interested in. I'm pretty anxious about it. I don't have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don't know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.

Sponsor

First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it's a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.

At the same time, you'll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn't want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.

As for your doubts and fears, it's natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power's will for you.

Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.

You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The answer to personality problems is found in a quiet return to Godlike thinking.
--Science of Mind magazine

When we're edgy and critical or perhaps feeling inadequate or depressed, we've lost our attunement with God. And when acting the way God would have us act is no longer our priority, our character defects once again emerge and, in time, grow ever more numerous.

We can make the simple decision to always check out our proposal behavior against the behavior we know is from God. When we remember to think of God first before proceeding, we avoid unnecessary conflicts; we refrain from consciously hurting anyone; we manage to take our experiences restfully, moment by moment.

There's really no mystery to having a rewarding and peaceful life. Those we notice who do have likely made a more frequent companion of God than we. The decision to work more on our own friendship with God is an easy one to make.

I will act according to God's wishes today and, in the process, strengthen our friendship.

You are reading from the book: In God's Care by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:


Today I accept the fact that I have made mistakes.

I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time. What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today. I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow.

I trust that, in the future, I will not make the same mistakes. I have more information now, and I will be able to handle things differently and make wiser choices. I accept myself for who I was then and for who I am today.

You are reading from the book: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Blame and Criticism

Am I bored? Highly critical? Fearful or anxious? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," I may be suffering the effects of procrastination.

If I am plagued by boredom, I may not be seeking or initiating constructive changes in my life. By refusing to ask questions or seek answers to questions I already have, for instance, I perpetuate my sense of failure and emptiness.

If I am highly critical of others, it is very likely I am a "non-doer." People who are busy doing their heart's desires have little time to complain about the actions or attitudes of others.

If I am anxious or fearful about the future, I may be postponing until tomorrow what I could be doing today. Merely hoping or wishing my life will get better, while avoiding or worrying about an unpleasant task or problem, is self-defeating at best. If I want to live today fully, I must do something constructive with it.

TODAY I will tackle at least two things I dread doing. I will not waste my time and energy by wallowing in boredom, worry, criticism, or fear. I will do what needs to be done even if it requires effort, risk and change.

You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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Today's thought for Hazelden is:

Most of all, let love guide your life . . .
--Colossians 3:14

Envy of another's good fortune puts distance between us. We forget fortune visits us all, though it's frequently disguised in experiences we dread. Resentments over forgotten appointments or misplaced mementos also result in distances that discourage the growth we deserve.

How different the days will unfold when we greet each person, every experience with a warm heart, the gesture of friendship, and a calm spirit.

With feelings of love guiding our thoughts and grooming our actions, we're certain of finding pleasure in all the tiny crevices of life.

You are reading from the book: Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It's better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
--James Thurber

Recovery is an inner journey, but it often means going outside ourselves. In the past, we often were deaf to the words of others. Now we are discovering that God gave us ears for a reason.

Listening to others may be new to us, but we have so much to gain. Others may have learned ways to solve problems we can't figure out. We may think our lives are unique, only to discover others have had the same experiences. There is so much insight, wisdom, and love to share. Now that we're stronger, we can admit we need help, and accept that help with a joyful heart.

Today let me have the courage to listen to those people whom I respect.

You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It is a cheap generosity which promises the future in compensation/or the present.
--J. A. Spender

Living in this moment is all we really have. We are constantly bombarded with advice to live for the future, but it perpetually exists beyond our grasp like the carrot tempting the donkey. We are told to be mindful of our career paths, to save for the future, and to sacrifice now for later rewards. We put off spending time with our children, but later they are no longer the same children. We postpone seeing friends now and discover later we have lost our relationships.

Of course, we can't be foolish about our future. We need to make some plans and delay some immediate pleasures. But for now, we can only have a rapport with ourselves and others and experience life in this moment. The present is the only time when anything can happen, any change can occur. This moment is like a fresh, cool breeze. The rest exists only in our imaginations or memories.

May I feel the exhilaration of being alive in this moment and maintain a balance in my perspective today.

You are reading from the book: Touchstones by Anonymous

Touchstones. Copyright 1986, 1991 by Hazelden

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AHHHH the precious precious present moment

We can make plans....We just do not get to plan the results

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.
--Shakespeare

Look for the Good

Life is an interpretive experience. What happens is less important than how we respond to our circumstances. An intense stimulus that some people report as pain others report as pleasure. It is we who decide what the interpretation will be.

Are you a "good finder"? A recent study of the country's millionaires showed that the most common trait they all shared was the ability to discover good in any situation. This trait is also common in "triumphant survivors" - those individuals who overcome adversity and emerge strengthened and renewed.

A sincere spiritual seeker suffering from a chronic illness wondered, "Why haven't my prayers been answered?" One day, in deep meditation the reply came: "Look for the good in your situation and you will see that the answer has already been provided." Suddenly this woman realized that her crisis provided a wonderful opportunity. She embarked on a program of nutrition, exercise, and yoga, which led to a dramatic improvement in the quality of her life.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Your state of mind is up to you. Choose now to look for the good.

You are reading from the book: Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

Listening to Your Inner Voice. Copyright 1991, by Doug

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.
--Thomas Jefferson

Sometimes we just want to yell. Maybe a family member or a friend messed up, and we want to "set them straight." Start counting. Maybe we got chewed out at work and we want "to get even." Start counting.

We can get drunk on anger. We may feel powerful when we "set someone straight." But like an alcohol high, an anger high lasts only a short time and can hurt others. We must control our anger. This is why we count. Cool down. Think out what you need or want to say. Use words that you'll not be ashamed of later. Learning how to respect others when we're angry is a sign of recovery.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, teach me to respect others when I'm angry.

Action for the Day

Today, when I feel angry I'll count. I'll work at not controlling others with my anger.

You are reading from the book:



Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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Today's thought for Hazelden is:

The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist; ours only is the present's tiny point.
--Shabestari

We are tempted to look back and to look ahead. But what we most need to do is be present in this moment, with ourselves, with our loved ones and friends, and with our experience right here and right now. When we were lost and asleep in our using days and codependency, we could not be emotionally present. Our thoughts were taken up with how we would get our next drink, our next big gambling win, or with how to handle the latest crisis. To be emotionally present and live in the moment; this takes time, and it's a frame of mind that develops as we grow in recovery.

One way we become more present in the moment is to practice gratitude. We can always name a few things we feel grateful for - small and big things, funny and serious things. Looking through the lens of gratitude brings us into the immediate moment.

Today I will look at my day through the lens of gratitude.

You are reading from the book: Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Because I have been athirst I will dig a well that others may drink.
--Arabian proverb

Most of us do as we please. When we want to go we go; when we want to stay, we stay. We're accustomed to moving around freely and never even think about it. We trust that a door will open if we turn the knob and push. Unfortunately, we never appreciate what we take for granted, and we are less for that.

A young man at meeting shared that he had just been released from prison. Upon release, the first thing he had done, he said, was to walk back and forth across the pressure plate of the bus station door. He wanted to be the one to make a door open and close. Onlookers had laughed at him, he said, but he didn't care. He appreciated the chance to move, to go where he wanted. Having known the hell of doors that won't open, he had an awareness that the rest of us didn't have. As his recovery continues, he will have much to share with people who've been trapped in prisons of their own.

May I have the insight to recognize my own special qualifications, and the willingness to share them with others.

You are reading from the book:
Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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. . we first took to ourselves.

We may do something that we do not want our partner to know; perhaps something that puts us in a bad light. If we lie about it, what do we gain? Our secret may be safe, but we have put another brick in the wall that prevents us from having an open intimate relationship. Our white lie does not protect our relationship, it damages it. By chipping away at our self-respect, we also damage our relationship to ourselves. Before long we become suspicious of others, believing that they also are not as they say, or that they are manipulating us.

By this process we project the infection in our soul onto our partner. If we believe he or she is manipulating us, perhaps we need to face our own manipulation. Our partner may have defects, but to help our relationship grow, we first look to the only one we can change, and that is ourselves.

Think about your honesty with your partner. Can you improve your relationship by clearing up a misleading message you have given?

You are reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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Honesty without love is brutality
Truth without compassion is cruelty

It is important to be honest with oneself and with others from a loving and gentle place

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

God give[s] us a mind that can or can't believe, but not even God can make us believe.... You have to believe first before you can pray.
--Harriet Arnow

Sometimes it's difficult to focus on our Higher Power after a hard day at work, after an argument with a loved one, after the frustrating experience of a flat tire, long bank line, or after any of the other nuisances that are part of each and every day. "Why me?" we may cry out in frustration. On a day like this, it may be easier to believe that a Power greater than ourselves is out to get us.

But God does not choose sides. We have not been singled out for punishment. God is on our side, if we only choose to open our hearts and believe that.

As we reflect back on the events of the day, we need to remember the times we asked God for help and the times we didn't. And we need to believe first - before we pray tonight - that God is there to help us every minute of every day.

Did I ask my Higher Power for help today, or did I decide to "go it alone"? Which do I choose to do?

You are reading from the book: Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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Doing nothing, that hurts you.
--John Arnold

Doing nothing as a steady diet would wear thin after a while, but doing nothing once in a while is good therapy. We need to let our minds and bodies rest. Being always booked for an activity gives us too little time for reflection about our lives. We have come a long way. Taking the time to appreciate that during our quiet spaces will enhance our self-perception.

Not a one of us has had an unsuccessful life. We may not have accomplished every goal we've set for ourselves but we can believe that we did what really needed to be done by us. There has been a divine plan at work even though we were unaware of it. The same continues to be true. We will be nudged to pursue hobbies or volunteer activities or jobs if that's the plan for us. This certainly takes the guesswork out of our lives. It makes us know we are pretty special, too.

I'll do whatever calls to me today. As long as it's not something that will hurt another person, it will be right.

You are reading from the book: Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
--Lao-tzu

A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake.

Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything. Finally, they decided to clear the water. They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle. When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring.

When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions. Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up. If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear. Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water.

Am I overlooking the simple solution?

You are reading from the book: Today's Gift by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Self-esteem comes from honoring your healing journey

My life is not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.

It's easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing what we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we've already made. We forget to honor our own healing journey.

There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn't done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, "I can't seem to get it down perfectly. It's horrible." I then spent ten minutes - which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting - downplaying the work I had put into the project so far. She couldn't believe she was listening to me. "You could be one of your own clients," she said. And how right she was. I needed to be coached at the moment in time. And after our conversation, I called my coach.

Healing is hard work. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy - persistent energy - to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we'd rather keep private. It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done. Honoring our healing journey invites us to appreciate the effort that has been made.

It's important to heal and to honor the work done.

You are reading from the book: 52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Things happen

A healthy friend dies participating in a sport she loves. A husband works hard on his marriage only to come home one day and find his wife in bed with another man.

A knock at the door, and a starving family opens it to find bags of groceries piled anonymously on the porch. A large order comes in just as a company is getting ready to close its doors, and the owner's dream is given new life.

Sometimes life twists. Sometimes it goes the other way, too. Things happen. Sometimes we label these events good, sometimes bad. We cannot always see the reason or purpose in them, but most of us choose to believe there's a Divine plan.

I don't know why I've received some of the blessings I've been given; I don't know why some of the sorrow has come my way. All I can do is trust that whatever comes my way, there's a lesson at hand.

Are you focusing on the circumstances of your life instead of the lessons? The circumstances are the tools. Be involved in them. Feel the pain of loss and the elation of victory. Let compassion work its way into your soul. Learn caring and kindness for others and yourself, too.

Instead of asking why, learn to ask what the lesson is. The moment you become ready to accept it, the lesson will become clear.

God, help me accept all the twists and turns along my path. Help me learn to say whatever to the good and the unfortunate incidents that come my way.

You are reading from the book: More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

When it seems we have no recourse, we can always pray.

Coming to believe that a Higher Power can help us and relieve us of our worry may take time if we have spent years trying to stop someone's drinking or worrying about how to keep the family together. From others in this program we can learn the steps to take. Becoming willing to pray is the first one.

We'll soon discover that the power of prayer is awesome. Here are six compelling reasons why:
(1) Prayer promises relief when we are anxious.
(2) Prayer connects us with our Higher Power when we feel isolated and full of fear.
(3) Prayer frees our minds from the obsession to plan other people's lives.
(4) Prayer helps us take action when we feel compelled to change the circumstances of our lives. (5) Prayer becomes a wonderful resource to draw on when living through our painful moments.
(6) And prayer gives us the willingness to accept God's solution for every problem that plagues us.

I will utilize prayer today every time I wonder what I should do.

You are reading from the book: A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:


Be Patient with Everyone

--from writings by St. Francis de Sales

Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself . . . do not be disappointed by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.

How are you to be patient in dealing with your neighbor's faults if you are impatient in dealing with your own?

They who are worried by their own shortcomings will not correct them.

All positive progress comes from a calm and peaceful mind.

You are reading from the book: The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

A.A. Thought for the Day

Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness fro something that happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Am I living one day at a time?

Meditation for the Day

I give God the gift of a thankful heart. When life seems hard, I look for some reasons for thankfulness. If I seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about, I will acquire in time the habit of being constantly grateful for all God's blessings.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be constantly reminded of causes for sincere gratitude.

You are reading from the book: Twenty-four Hours a Day for Teens by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

One could say that I had a happy childhood, although I showed little talent for being happy.
-- Samuel Beckett

Our choices in relationships, careers, lifestyle, and expression of feelings and talents are often the result of our upbringing. Has the social climate changed significantly since our childhood? Have our family systems changed? Can we find ways to change old, ineffective behaviors?

Recovery offers us the gifts of responsibility and self-forgiveness. Now, as we begin to change, we can let go of the past and its pain. Our ability to change often starts by embracing our inner selves with forgiving, adult arms. In this act, we take responsibility for our own happiness, nurturing ourselves toward the new life we are finding in recovery.

We are earning our own love in a whole new way. We respect and honor our physical selves with rest, exercise, and nutritional food. We stimulate our minds with new ideas and experiences. And we send our spirits soaring through conscious contact with our Higher Power. We feel worthy of love, and even have enough to give some away. Now we are learning the talent for being happy.

Today grant me the power of self-forgiveness and the gift of hope.

You are reading from the book: Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Taking it slowly

Let's not make haste and demand perfection at once - this would only blind us. If we are impatient, we cannot work a daily program. But by exercising patience, we learn to recognize daily opportunities for growth.

It is worth waiting for, striving for, and working to develop a relationship with our Higher Power. It cannot be done overnight. Let's not go too fast, but count each day as a new opportunity.

Am I learning to take it slowly?

Higher Power, I pray that I may meet each day with patience and grow closer to You.

You are reading from the book: Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Handle Today's Problems Today


Many of us face seemingly insurmountable difficulties, perhaps because of our compulsion or simply through misfortune. Whatever the scale of our problems, "One day at a time" and "First things first" are keys to handling them.

Today, we can deal only with today's problems. One of today's problems, of course, may be worrying about the future. A good method of handling that problem is to turn concern about it over to our Higher Power.

But when we do have work that clearly should be done today, we must carry through with it. It's neither reasonable nor sensible to put off things that we can and should do today.

There are certain tasks and responsibilities that must be dealt with today. I will not put them off.

You are reading from the book: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

The Prodigal Son took his journey into a far country and wasted his substance with riotous living. That is what those of us with afflictions do. The story continues that, when the son came to himself, he arose and went to his father. We do that, too, when we become a part of this program. That is when we come to our senses. The person steeped in distress is not the real self. The sane, sober, straight, rational, respectable person is the real self. Our involvement with our group has brought us happiness and a better self-image. Have I come to see myself in a better light?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Life can become complicated if you let it become so. You can be swamped by difficulties if you let them take up too much of your time. Every difficulty can be either solved or ignored. Something better can be substituted for it. Love the humble things of life and revere the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power. These are ultimately sheer deception.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may love the simple things of life. I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free.

You are reading from the book: Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck

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Today's thought for Hazelden is:

The ego is a self-justifying historian, which seeks only that information that agrees with it, rewrites history when it needs to, and does not even see the evidence that threatens it.
--Anthony G. Greenwald

One of the larger struggles facing us is relinquishing, the need to be right always. Only when we've given up the struggle do we understand that the battle is finally won. We come to see nonresistance as the quintessence of the power play. However, our need to be right is the point of real concern, and in order to let go of this need, clarity regarding the human condition is in order.

Few of us are sure of our worth, our necessity to the better functioning of the human universe. We falter and fear our mistakes, certain that they will enlighten our fellow travelers about our inadequacies. And so we bully others, covertly or with great poise, into accepting our viewpoints. We believe that ideas shared by others are more valuable, and thus our own value is assured. No one is served by the exercises in truth.

Might the time finally come when I will understand that my individual existence is all the proof I need that I am right - without the struggle? I can practice this belief today.

You are reading from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Friendship with oneself is very important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

What do we need from a friend? Let's think about that for a moment and see if it applies to how we treat ourselves.

Let's start with the basics: A friend is for us, not against us. That means a friend won't do anything to harm us if he or she can possibly help it. A friend is there for us when we need understanding, tells us the truth, and does the things he or she promises to do. A friend likes to be around us, thinks we are a good person, and believe we are honest. A friend shares what is going on in his or her life and cares about what is going on in ours. A friend does things to help us feel happy. A friend forgives us when we ask for forgiveness.

We do these things for our friends. And we do a much better job of them now that we are sober. But do we do them for ourselves? It's a question worth thinking about: Am I a good friend to myself?

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me pay attention to myself the way I pay attention to my friends.

Today's Action

I will have a little friend-to-friend visit with myself right now. How am I doing? What's going on with me? Want to go for a walk and talk, catch up on things? How about going to the new exhibit at the art museum this weekend?

You are reading from the book: God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Don't miss out on today's learning experiences.

They won't come again. We will never have another day exactly like today, so let's take advantage of the lessons we're offered.

We don't like to make mistakes, and we don't like to be in situations that are fraught with stress, but mistakes and distress seem to go along with being human and alive. Both can be turned into sound learning experiences.

We don't learn if we try to deny or ignore the situation we don't like or don't handle well; nor do we learn if we try to fix unpleasant circumstance with over- and under eating. How much better if we can accept the difficulty, see how we have contributed to it, and arrive at a positive course of action. And how often it helps to talk about the problem with someone else instead of pridefully insisting on muddling through alone. Very likely, we will discover that today's richest learning experiences are those we share with others.

I will accept the lessons today offers and share them with someone else so that we both can grow.

You are reading from the book: Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Decision

G.O.D. = Good Orderly Direction
--Anonymous

When we decided to turn our will and lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him, we made a declaration of independence. We declared our freedom from the chains of our self-centered ego and the unrelenting demands of our self-will. When we decided that God was God and we were not, we began to receive the wonderful future that had been planned for us.

That decision was our claim to a new life. The prison that was our home has been destroyed. We decide to let go and let God on a daily basis. Our wills are always free to decide. We must decide to keep ourselves conscious at all times and listen to the voices that speak to us,. We must decide to guard against our ego once again begging to run the show.

My will power will only be helpful to me when it is acting in accordance with my decision to let my Higher Power instruct me in the way to go.

You are reading from the book: Easy Does It by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:


"AndthankyouforkeepingmestraightyesterdayAmen."
Sometimes I can almost hear God saying, "What did she just say?"


Are you rushing through or skipping prayer and meditation time? Are people in your life asking where you are, even though you're in the room with them when they ask? Are you so focused on an outcome that you've forgotten to enjoy each step along the way? Do you have so many things to do that you're doing them all at once and not getting anything done?

We receive from life what we put in, unless we're pouring our energy into a black hole. Are you getting what you want out of your relationships, work, and leisure time?

How much of you are you investing?

You are reading from the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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Reflection for the Day

"It is the privilege of wisdom to listen," Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote. If I try as hard as I can to cultivate the art of listening - uncritically and without making premature judgments - chances are great that I'll progress more rapidly in my recovery. If I try as hard as I can to listen to the feelings and thoughts expressed - rather than to the "speaker" - I may be blessed with an unexpectedly helpful idea. The essential quality of good listening is humility. Does a holier-than-thou attitude sometimes close my mind to the shared suggestions of others?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power keep me from being "holier-than-thou" with anyone whose manner or language or opposite point of view or apparent lack of knowledge turns me off to what they are saying. May I be listening always for the voice of God, which can be heard through the speech of any one of us.

Today I Will Remember

Hear the speech, not the speaker.

You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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The readiness is all.
--William Shakespeare

Newcomer

I went to two different Step meetings this week, in different parts of town, and both of them were on the Fourth Step. I keep hearing that "there are no coincidences." Does this mean I'm supposed to start the Fourth Step now? How do I know if I'm ready?

Sponsor

First of all, I'm glad to hear that you're going to Step meetings, and I encourage you to keep it up. Your willingness has brought you a long way already, and it continues to be the key.

In approaching a new Step, I find it useful to ask myself if I've taken the Steps that precede it in a complete, whole-hearted way.

I review Step One and remember why I'm on this path of recovery in the first place: addiction brought me to spiritual depths I don't want to sink to again.

Reviewing Step Two reminds me that I'm not alone, and that I have faith that I'll be given what I need to become a whole and free person again.

Step Three reminds me that I've made a decision. I'm willing to do what's necessary for recovery and to trust the process. I remember that I only have to do my part; my progress in recovery isn't entirely up to me. My Higher Power will do the rest. When I reach Step Four, I trust that in the process of writing about the events of my addictive life, I'll be taken care of.

Today, I bring willingness and an open mind to the next stop in my recovery. I relax and trust that I am not alone.

You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Seize the opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
--Bulgarian proverb

Through laziness or inattention, we often miss opportunities to grow. Maybe we don't play our hunches or listen to our intuition. Maybe we see an opportunity but fail to act because we're not sure it's what we ought to do. An opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream has appeared, but we don't trust our good fortune. A chance has come to use our talent to help someone, but we don't know how the person will handle it, so we do nothing.

And we rationalize. We decide it's a frivolous impulse, a whim that's not worth our attention. We decide it couldn't be our Inner Guide.

God seldom takes us by the scruff of the neck and pulls us to our next destination. God provides the opportunities; it's up to us to seize them. God talks to us; it's up to us to listen.

Today I'll be on the lookout or God's opportunities.

You are reading from the book: In God's Care by Karen Casey

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Today I will practice detachment by letting go of things. I can't control.

Detachment means standing back and looking at a situation without having a hand in it. Watching fireworks is practicing detachment. Flying a kite is not. Allowing friends the freedom to have their own opinions is practicing detachment. Feeling compelled to change their minds is not. Watching a child create her own drawing is practicing detachment. Holding her hand while she draws is not.

I can't control other people, their actions, or their beliefs by forcing them to act or believe as I do. Detachment helps me see the big picture, since I can see things more clearly from a distance.

Today, and from now on, I will practice taking care of myself by detaching from people or situations that aren't good for me. Today I will pay close attention to when I am trying to force the issue, and I'll remember that my time would be better spent leaving it alone.

You are reading from the book: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

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Detach with love

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"It's better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers."
--James Thurber

"I believe the purpose of my life is to learn, grow, and be the best possible person I can be," said a group member. "In order to do that, I must ask big questions of myself and God. I ask questions like What's love? What's my life's work? What's the best way to deal with this problem? How can I best plan for the future? Who and What is God? What constitutes an ideal friendship or marriage? What is the purpose of life? and What's preventing me from reaching my goal?'

"To me, asking big questions makes life an exciting adventure. I look upon everyone and everything as a partial answer to a larger question. Life is never boring to me. Or lonely. I treasure every experience as a means of expanding my knowledge and understanding."

Today I will have more questions than answers. I will ask big questions of God and myself. I will search for, and be receptive to, the answers to my questions in my daily experiences and endeavors.

You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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We.
- First word of the Twelve Steps

We. This little word says a lot about the Twelve Steps. Our addiction made us lonely. The "we" of the program makes us whole again. It makes us a member of a loving growing group of people.

Our addiction isolated us from others. We couldn't be honest. We felt a lot of shame. But all this is in the past. The "we" of the program helps us live outside ourselves. Now we tell each other about our pasts. We comfort each other. We try to help each other.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to join the we of the program. Help me to admit and accept my illness, so the healing can begin.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll work to make the we of the program even stronger. I'll find someone to help.

You are reading from the book: Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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Comparing my insides to other people's outsides causes me problems.
--Joan Rohde

For most of our lives we felt inferior. Others seemed smarter, wittier, and more attractive. We felt inadequate every time we compared ourselves to others. Getting sober hasn't freed us from this behavior, at least not completely. Fortunately, we now have tools that we can use in changing behavior that hinders our growth.

Talking with a sponsor, sharing with a friend, or asking God for help frees us from the hold of negative behaviors. Comparing ourselves to others doesn't have to shame us any longer. All that's necessary is to stop the thought, think instead of God's presence within, and quietly bless ourselves and the person who unknowingly triggered our reaction. Our progress in changing this shortcoming will be as swift as our decision to take this simple action.

I am in control of my thoughts. God will help me every time I start to compare myself to someone else today.

You are reading from the book: A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
--Samuel T. Coleridge

Once, we thought we knew everything and no one could teach us very much. Now we know others have help and experience and wisdom to offer us, if only we're willing to listen. Learning to listen can be hard, especially if we come from a family that didn't respect each other. But we can learn from watching others, and talking with other people about accepting criticism. We're learning new ways to act and react, and learning to listen is a good place to start. And in time, maybe others, even our families, will follow our example and learn to listen, too.

Today let me have the right words to share what is really in my heart.

You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it.
--Archibald. MacLeish

Many of us have lived double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.

In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.

Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.

You are reading from the book: Touchstones by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

In life, the difficult periods are the best periods to gain experience and shore up determination. As a result, my mental status is much improved because of them.
--The Dalai Lama

Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Helen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude, and compassion, they became great -- not in spite of, but because of their problems.

Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The Chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols; one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi, and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness.

Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain before you, seek the strength to climb it. Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gifts will be yours.

You are reading from the book: Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Leaving Room for Feelings

We need to allow enough room for others and ourselves to have and work through our feelings.

We are people, not robots. An important part of us - who we are, how we grow, how we live - is connected to our emotional center. We have feelings, sometimes-difficult ones, sometimes-disruptive ones, and sometimes-explosive ones that need to be worked through.

By facing and working through these feelings we and others grow. In relationships, whether it be a love relationship, a friendship, a family relationship, or a close business relationship, people need room to have and work through their feelings.

Some call it "going through the process."

We need time to work through feelings. We need the space and permission to work through these feelings in the awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes messy way that people work through feelings.

This is life. This is growth. This is okay.

I can set reasonable boundaries for behavior, and still leave room for a range of emotions.

You are reading from the book:The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
--Kahlil Gibran

Love doesn't demand; love compromises. It doesn't possess; it frees. Love doesn't gloat; it praises. Love makes friends of strangers. It softens our rough edges and strengthens our assets. Knowing we're loved inspires us and invites forth our best effort. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy.

Never, in the name of love, should we direct another person's life, but instead let's celebrate the choices made by someone dear, even when they run counter to our own desires. We are each blessed with a destiny, unique and necessary to the others in our lives. We must be allowed to travel our paths to fulfillment.

Let's free one another and know real love.

You are reading from the book: Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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Baseball teaches us, or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and ... errors [are] part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.
--Francis T. Vincent, Jr.

Of course we will make mistakes. We are born with the right to make mistakes. There is no shame in that. Perfection is a false ideal for a real human being. We learn by trial and error. If we try to be perfect, we will meet dead ends and roadblocks because we will inevitably fall short.

Instead, there is wisdom in the motto, "Keep coming back." In this instance, the motto refers to returning to our standards. Rather than to strive constantly for higher and higher perfection, our goal is to always return to the rules we live by. Of course we will veer off the path. When we do, we make repairs, pay our dues, and hold our place as full-fledged members of the human race.

Today my goal is to keep returning to my ethics for a good life.

You are reading from the book: Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

. . . we have some unfinished business between us.

When we respond to the small signals that something is amiss, we prevent bigger problems. When we feel fear in our relationship, it signals that we have some unfinished business between us. When we ask the questions we have been avoiding, we create new possibilities for resolution. Our fear is a signal that something does not feel safe. If we tell ourselves that our fear is illogical and discount it, or if we overreact by totally pulling out of the situation, we miss opportunities to change it.

What a relief we feel as we make sense out of our fear and begin to talk with each other. We let go of secrets between us and work toward mutual understanding. As we communicate, the knot in our stomachs loosens and light reappears in our relationship.

Name the signals your body gives you to indicate that something in your relationship needs attention.

You are reading from the book: The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The darkness was encumbering only because I relied upon my sight for everything I did, not knowing that another way was to let power be the guide.
--Carlos Castaneda

We don't need to be blind in order not to see. Remember how long it took for us to "see" our addictions? Remember how the blindfold of denial kept us from seeing the reality of our lives?

But it took a person or people to help us "see" our way into the program. And now that we are members, we still need others to guide us in our recovery. Sometimes pride gets in the way and tells us we can do it alone, yet those are the times when we stumble and fall. Perhaps today was a day when we refused the guidance of others. We may have felt we were strong enough to "go it alone." But we will feel the effects of such blind groupings if we don't remember that we need others.

Just as the blind person has a cane or a companion or an animal for guidance, so must we rely upon the power of the group and our Higher Power to help us "see" our way.

Have I been blind to the help offered by others? Can I ask for help to "see"?

You are reading from the book: Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Sometimes two minuses make a plus.
--Edith Shannon

What appears to be a problem sometimes turns out to be a most beneficial circumstance. We live only in the present, and it generally takes the perspective of hindsight to get the full meaning of an event. Over the years, we have learned that some of our best lessons actually caused us pain while we were in their clutches. What a relief to be able to see, now, that they had their silver lining. This principle still holds true.

We have had a lot of years to learn to take our experiences in stride, giving them no more weight than they deserve. But it's easy to forget that it's the accumulation of them all that defines who we are. The lost jobs, the friends who left, the hurdles in a marriage all played their part in the people we've become today. We are who we need to be right now.

I can't let a setback set me back today. I am evolving right on schedule.

You are reading from the book: Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Do I ever find myself around people who are negative? Are these people constantly complaining or criticizing others or their situation? Am I starting to feel like they're affecting my attitude or outlook?

I don't have to give other people that much power over my life. I can choose how I feel and what kind of attitude I have. I don't have to listen to the negativity of others. I can set an example for them by making positive statements or by having a positive attitude toward them.

Some people simply aren't happy unless they're unhappy. Today I will choose not to be one of them.

I have many things in my life to be grateful for, and I will not let the negativity of others affect me.

You are reading from the book: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.
--Julia Soul

Do we avoid making new friends because we're scared they won't like us? Do we get embarrassed when we make a mistake and avoid trying again? When we get our feelings hurt, do we think we're bad, or that something is wrong with us?

Being scared or shy or hurt are all part of being alive. When we try to stay away from painful feelings, we keep ourselves from having many wonderful adventures. If we're afraid to meet new people, we may never have any close friends. If we stop trying when we're embarrassed, we may never learn a better way of doing things. And if we don't share our hurt feelings, we may never find out that everyone else has the same feelings we have.

What can I try again today that I failed at yesterday?

You are reading from the book: Today's Gift by Anonymous

[sonia n]

Just what I am feeling today.. GOD IS GOOD

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

There are really only two ways to approach life - as victim or as gallant fighter - and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
--Merle Shain

Being the victim is, or was, uncomfortably familiar to many of us. Perhaps some of us are only now realizing we have choices, that we need not let life happen to us. Becoming responsible to ourselves, choosing behavior, beliefs, friends, activities, that please us, though unfamiliar at first, soon exhilarates us. The more choices we make, the more alive we feel. The more alive we feel, the healthier our choices.

Our aim is recovery. Recovering means participating fully in our lives. It means self-assessment and self-direction. It means trusting to move forward, step-by-step, choice-by-choice, knowing all the while that no thoughtful action can trouble us.

Many opportunities to make choices will present themselves today. The choices I make will satisfy me; they will move me toward my goal of recovery.

You are reading from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
--Anonymous

We addicts need to be very careful when we feel worried because it can lead to relapse. So how can we stop worrying? We can take some clear steps.

First, we need to determine the root of our worry. If necessary, it may help to write down our problem. Second, we should answer these questions: How likely is it that this problem will actually happen? How serious is the problem? How much control do we have over it? Third, we need to make a plan. What could we do about the problem? What would this action solve? Sometimes the best thing we can do is let go. Fourth, we should talk it all over with our sponsor, someone who has faced worry and stays sober.

When we take these steps, we usually learn one of two things; there is a smarter way to handle the problem, or there is nothing we can do about it.

Prayer for the Day

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Today's Action

If I have a worry, I will follow the steps above. If I am not worried today, I will call my sponsor and talk about how the Serenity Prayer helps me avoid worry.
You are reading from the book: God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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You are the hero of your life.

Each of us plays the starring role in the drama that is our life. We co-create the script along with our Higher Power. Sometimes we forget our lines, and so we improvise as best we can. We are heroes, each of us, as we move through the events of the day, refining our character and using our gifts to shape the action of every scene.

We can each be a hero in the drama of recovery. To the casual observer, what we do and say may not appear to be at all heroic. But we - as insiders who are only too well acquainted with our individual limitations - can appreciate and applaud a difficult decision or action.

When we accept our role in life, when we pledge to use our energies to do the best we can, and when we rely on our Higher Power for guidance and support, we will be well on our way toward recovering.

I can be a hero today, even if it doesn't show.
You are reading from the book: Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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Formula for failure; trying to please everyone.
--Anonymous

It has done us no good to set standards we could not reach. On many occasions, we adopted goals that couldn't be reached from the beginning. We allowed our identities to become tied in with pleasing people. If we suffered rejection, we collapsed into a quivering heap. Each time we wrapped ourselves up in a package for someone to pass judgment on, we set ourselves up for failure.

We know we are not God. We must realize no other human being is God, either. We can't ask any person to judge us. We can't judge anyone else. The foundation of our Program is the decision we made in Step Three to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God. This is the formula for success. Try pleasing God, not other people.

I can't build my life and recovery on always trying to please others. My road to success is pleasing my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book: Easy Does It by Anonymous

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Reflection for the Day

I'll begin today with prayer - prayer in my heart, prayer in my mind, and words of prayer on my lips. Through prayer, I'll stay tuned to God today, reaching forward to become that to which I aspire. Prayer will redirect my mind, helping me rise in consciousness to the point where I realize that there's no separation between God and me. As I let the power of God flow through me, all limitations will fall away. Do I know that nothing can overcome the power of God?

Today I Pray

Today may I offer to my Higher Power a constant prayer, not just a "once-in-the-morning-does-it" kind. May I think of my Higher Power at coffee breaks, lunch, tea time, during a quiet evening - and at all times in between. May my consciousness expand and erase the lines of separation, so that the Power is a part of me and I am a part of the Power.

Today I Will Remember

To live an all-day prayer.
You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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Argue not concerning God.
--Walt Whitman

Newcomer

It's obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don't believe in God or a Higher Power?

Sponsor

We don't need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we're addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.

Whether or not we believe in God, Most of us recognize that we don't live entirely independently. The phrase "a power greater than ourselves," from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don't run the universe. Whatever I believe about God's existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God - if I'm going to recover. I can't control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago; I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn't my intellect or will.

Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside - what some call their "better self," their "sense of right and wrong," their "higher self," or their "spirit" - that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.

Today, I accept that I'm not all-powerful.

You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Today's thoughts from Hazelden are:

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.
--Thomas Merton

The surest way to unhappiness is to concentrate only on ourselves. Nothing will bring on despair quicker than thinking only of our own concerns. Extreme self-centeredness brings alienation from God, from our friends, and loved ones.

The surest remedy is to pray, not for our own comfort, but for God to bless someone else. If self-centeredness is contributing to our unhappiness, focusing some attention on others is the way out. We always get help for the blues by offering a hand to another or accepting a hand ourselves.

I can avoid despair by looking beyond myself.

You are reading from the book: In God's Care by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Today I will begin keeping a journal of all my thoughts and feelings.

I may resist doing this at first, but I will make a commitment to writing at least one thought at the end of each day. By putting my thoughts down on paper, I see things more clearly. I can also go back and read them at a later date to see how I have been able to change over time.

Even if I have to force myself to write one sentence each day, I will do so. I know it's for my own good, and I can use all the "good" I can get.

You are reading from the book: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

To assume what other people are thinking or feeling without asking them is to invite misunderstanding. Just as disastrous is to assume other people know what we want or need without our telling them. Many potentially good friendships and marriages perish because of our false assumptions and our lack of honest communication.

Do we assume others can't live without us or wouldn't know what to think or feel unless we told them? Do we take for granted that "silence means assent"? Do we assume others don't have time for us, or don't care about us, if they don't call or go out of their way to talk to us? Do we think others can read our minds without our ever opening our mouths?

Since we can only assume the same limited or distorted thoughts of others that we have of ourselves, we each need to take the initiative to ask probing questions and give honest responses in our relationships.

TODAY I will not make the mistake of projecting my feelings onto others. I will initiate honest and open communication.

You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
-- E. W. Howe

Do you let yourself be afraid of your illness? You'd better. Many of us were scared into sobriety. Often, a spiritual awakening directly follows a good scare. Fear seems to improve our vision.

Are you smart enough to run from your addiction? The First Step should create fear inside us. It's about looking honestly at our addiction and what would happen to us if we kept using. Looking at Step One regularly will give us the respectful fear we need to stay sober. Often fear is seen as bad, but it can be good, if we listen to it. It can be a great mover. When you're afraid, your spirit is trying to tell you something.

Prayer for the Day

God, direct my fear. Have me go to You, family, friends, and others who love me. Help me see my fear and listen to its message.

Action for the Day

I'll list five ways that my fear has taught me important lessons. I'll see that my fear can help me as long as I listen to it and not live in it.

You are reading from the book: Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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One step at a time may seem too slow some days.
--Kay Marie Porterfield

Impatience is certainly not a virtue. However, we frequently display it as though it were; if we don't get some task done right now, we will have failed for all time. How many backfired circumstances must we have before we get the message?

When we came into this recovery program, we may have heard that there would always be enough time to accomplish what God intends us to do. Those of us who looked back at failed attempts doubted the truth of this wisdom. But we are coming to believe it now. In time, all the simple messages seem to come true.

The slogans are excellent examples of this. "One day at a time, one step at a time." Will never fail us. We will handle whatever comes to us if we follow that advice.

I will accomplish what I need to today, on time, if I let my Higher Power be in charge.

You are reading from the book: A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

We learn from making mistakes and repairing them.

We do not believe in perfection, we believe in mending. We make progress toward a goal, but we seldom move in a straight line toward it without missteps. Life is like a zigzag chain of events that first brings everything together just as we want and then spills it all over again. We try to do our best, but inevitably we make mistakes. So a large part of normal daily life is spent mending.

When we accept imperfection as a fact of life, we make peace with the constant need for repairs. Saying I made a mistake and I owe you an apology is never fun, but when we do it we grow stronger. Every disappointment, every complaint, points to an underlying hope or wish. We can use them to point us to repairs we would like to make. We do not learn anything new from correctly repeating what we already know. We learn from making mistakes and repairing them.

Select one complaint or one mistake that you want to mend and turn it into a learning experience.


You are reading from the book: The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

We all carry it within us; supreme strength, the fullness of wisdom, unquenchable joy. It is never thwarted and cannot be destroyed. But it is hidden deep, which is what makes life a problem.
--Huston Smith

How does a man lose touch with his strength, his wisdom, and his joy? Perhaps it is in the nature of humanity. Our most profound qualities are hidden deep. They never go away, but we cannot always find them. There may be nothing wrong with ourselves as men when we lose touch. It doesn't have to mean that we are "bad guys" for getting depressed or for feeling inadequate. Who doesn't have that problem? It is the nature of life that we sometimes feel this way. This program helps us unearth the resources hidden within us.

When we cannot find those reassuring feelings of strength and wisdom and joy, we may think they are gone forever. We even doubt we ever had them or could have them again. But they are still there. They cannot be destroyed. And when we regain contact we know they have been with us all along.

I will have faith that the innermost places in me can never be destroyed.

You are reading from the book: Touchstones by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The Importance of Money

We cannot afford to allow our focus in life to be money. That will not lead us into the abundance we're seeking. Usually, it will not even lead to financial stability.

Money is important. We deserve to be paid what we're worth. We will be paid what we're worth when we believe we deserve to be. But often your plans fail when our primary consideration is money.

What do we really want to do? What do we feel led to do? What are our instincts telling us? What do we feel guided to do? What are we excited about doing? Seek to find a way to do that, without worrying about the money.

Consider the financial aspects. Set boundaries about what you need to be paid. Be reasonable. Expect to start at the bottom and work up. But if you feel led toward a job, go for it.

Is there something we truly don't want to do, something that goes against our grain, but we are trying to force ourselves into it "for the money"? Usually, that's a behavior that backfires. It doesn't work. We make ourselves miserable, and the money usually goes wrong too.

Money is a consideration, but it cannot be our primary consideration if we are seeking spiritual security and peace of mind.

Today, I will make money a consideration, but I will not allow it to become my primary consideration. God, help me be true to myself and trust that the money will follow.

You are reading from the book: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become real.
--Margery Wilson

Intimacy with another is a necessary risk if we're to know love. This means loving enough to let someone in on our most hidden parts, daring to share the awful truths about ourselves. When we hold a dreaded memory within, or fail to disclose our darkest secret, we're haunted by the fear that another's love is both conditional and long gone if the truth about us is revealed.

Though seldom remembered, one of the greatest tributes we can give one another is full expression of who we were, who we are, and who we hope to become. During any single moment, we are a composite of feelings, memories, and projections. Our reality is many faceted, and being intimate requires that we enrich each other's lives with the full expression of ourselves.

Being real is courageous; it takes a decision and practice, and it is demanded if we're to know love.
You are reading from the book: Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
--Orlando A. Battista

In our lives, we have always been drawn to extremes. If it isn't white, it must be black. If a little bit feels good, we take a lot. If we are going to do something, only perfection is good enough. So if we don't win, we lose, and if we can't do it perfectly, we feel like a failure.

In this program we learn to seek progress, not perfection. And we can only make progress by trial and error. We learn nothing if we don't try new things and sobriety the moment we decide to enter this program of recovery. When we surrender to our powerlessness over our addictions and codependency, we have to begin to learn how to live in a new way. It doesn't just happen all at once. So when we take our errors and our slips and agree to learn from them, we become stronger in our sobriety.

Today I accept my imperfection as a permanent condition, and I will keep coming back to the program of recovery.

You are reading from the book: Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
--Charles F. Kettering

Denial never really goes away, it creeps into everyone's life. We may admit we're powerless over alcohol and drugs but still believe it was the school's fault that we were suspended. Denial is especially dangerous for us, because it spreads, gets out of control, and eventually takes away our most prized possession: sobriety.

But now we have the tools we need to combat denial. Other people can help us see what we're really doing. We can get to know ourselves better. And we can learn to change. Day by day, we grow stronger in recovery.

Today let me recognize denial, admit what's wrong, and begin to fix it.

You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

...we live several lives in one lifetime.

Waking up from a terrifying dream, we first sigh with deep relief, "Thank God it was just a dream." After we have made a big mistake in real life we long for the chance to undo it. We do not get to undo those moments, but life is still full of second chances . . . and third and fourth chances. The big question is. Do we learn from our experiences?

In some ways, we live several lives in one lifetime and we have several phases in one relationship. Today is a new day, and it presents all the possibilities of a new beginning. We have learned from the past. As painful and difficult as our experiences were, we can feel stronger today because we have learned from them. Injustice and fateful accidents can befall anyone. Yet many difficult times never need to be repeated. Today we can be grateful for another day with all the new opportunities it brings.

Name one way you are different today because of what you have learned from your experience.

You are reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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Formula for failure: trying to please everyone.

*****

The elevator is broken; use the steps.

*****

You are the problem, but you are also the solution.

*****

Reason to be grateful #863: you learn to wake up instead of coming to.

*****

Improve your memory -- tell the truth.

*****

Numb is dumb; feel to heal.

You are reading from the book: Keep Coming Back Gift Book by Meiji Stewart

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Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin

In the first phases of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. It seems as though nothing could ever go wrong.

Yet as we move out of this "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, problems begin. Suddenly we notice things about the other person that bother us. We seem to have more disagreements and more difficulties that take longer to solve. We may even silently choose corners, put up walls, and back away from each other.

It's easy at this stage to want to end the relationship. But now is when the outcome of the relationship is most critical. If we run away from renewing our love and rebuilding the foundations of trust and faith in each other, we will deprive our love of its nourishment for growth. Love takes constant work and needs plenty of patience. Each day can reveal a new layer of love; each stage in a relationship moves us to a new plateau. But only if we are willing.

I can look at my relationships and see the potential for growth. Help me renew my feelings of love through faith.

You are reading from the book: Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Night Light by Amy E. Dean. Copyright 1986, 1992 by

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I grew up knowing I had to be a success for others.
--Sandy Warman

The pressure of performance is daunting and extremely stressful. Some, like Sandy, were controlled by it their whole lives. Perhaps that was your experience, too. Are you free of it now?

The desire to be successful never was a bad thing in and of itself. Teachers encouraged it right along with our parents. Employers reinforced the importance of being successful. But there is and always was a difference between enjoying a job done right and driving ourselves ragged to impress others. Sandy's experience reflects the latter.

Whatever reason we used for seeking success isn't all bad though. If it motivated us to stretch ourselves, it meant we discovered abilities we might not have known we were capable of. The contribution we made to the world around us was affected accordingly and that changed our lives forever. We can come to believe that however we lived our lives was simply as good as we were capable of. No matter what motivated us in the past, we can take charge of what motivates us now. Finally, that's all that really counts today.

Today I'll be aware of the motives behind my efforts. I don't have to impress anyone.

You are reading from the book: Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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Do I find that I'm constantly late or rushing in the morning? Do I feel like I'm racing around trying to get somewhere on time? Do I yell at my kids to hurry, and is the last memory they have of me as they go about their day one of me screaming?

Today I will plan my time more effectively. I can set the alarm earlier, go to bed sooner, or change my schedule in some way to give myself more time. Is my reason for hurrying really so important that I can't send my children off with a hug or a positive word?

Today I will change the way I begin my day to one with better timing and more loving communication. I can give myself and my family the gift of having enough time for them.

You are reading from the book: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith

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Growth is the only evidence of life.
--John, Cardinal Newman

We should be thankful we can never reach complete serenity. If we could, we would never have the need to improve ourselves. We would stop growing, because there would be no reason to learn any more than we already know, and we would become bored. Even the things which seem so serene in nature usually contain a struggle within. A lake, with a swan gliding slowly across it, seems a perfect picture of serenity. But, unseen below the surface, fish, turtles, and frogs struggle each day for survival.

The important thing is to accept the struggles as a part of the beauty of life, not as blemishes on it.

You are reading from the book: Today's Gift by Anonymous

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Relax enough to face reality when life twists and turns.

Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for.

Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was - or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there's something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don't go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure and get through the rough spots. But I'm talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us.

These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don't turn on yourself. Don't try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yourself accept the new situation at hand.

The road isn't always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns.

God, help me relax and trust my self enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would be.

You are reading from the book: More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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Amen!!!
Thanks!!!

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We don't always understand the ways of Almighty God - the crosses sent us, the sacrifices demanded . . . But we accept with faith and resignation the holy will with no looking back, and we are at peace.
--Anonymous

Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek.

We can put the past behind us. Each day is a new beginning. And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope. A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its presence strengthens us, moment by moment.

The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. With each breath I will be aware of the strength at hand.

You are reading from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Control robs us of serenity.

The Serenity Prayer, when relied on, changes the very nature of our lives. The reality is that most of our troubles result from an unwillingness to give up controlling the many people we encounter. What they are doing is seldom relevant. We simply want them to answer to us!

There is so much we cannot change. Yet our stubbornness leaves us frustrated, depressed, and in near constant conflict. Nonetheless, there is an easy solution. It's the first prayer we heard in a Twelve Step meeting. We can ask God for wisdom so we can change only what is ours to change and accept all the rest. Wisdom will come. And so will the serenity we deserve.

God, grant me serenity today, along with wisdom and acceptance, so I can fulfill your will.
You are reading from the book: A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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Finding balance

Let's not forget to play. Our new way of life is a serious matter, but it is not intended as a punishment; nor do we need to repent and suffer for the rest of our lives. Our new way of life is intended to produce growth.

But growth takes work. And work needs play for balance. If we forget to play and be joyful, our life will become unbalanced and we will suffer needlessly.

Have I found some balance in my life?

Higher Power, help me remember that all living things need balance: let me laugh, let me play, let me grow.
You are reading from the book: Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Since I've been in this program, I have made a start toward being unselfish. I no longer want my own way in everything. When things go wrong and I can't have what I want, I no longer sulk. I am trying not to waste money on myself. And it makes me happy to see my mate with more money and also more for the children. It is very hard to resist the urge to think of myself first and foremost. How hard it is to lose that feeling, which was almost a religion before I turned my problems over to my Higher Power. Am I trying to be unselfish?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

Each day is a day of progress, if you make it so. You may not see it, but your Higher Power does. Though you may feel that your work has been spoiled or tarnished. God sees it as an offering. When climbing a steep hill, you are often more conscious of the weakness of your stumbling feet than of the view, the grandeur, or even of the upward progress.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may persevere in all good things. I pray that I may advance each day in spite of my stumbling feet.

You are reading from the book: Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
--Abigail Van Buren

How did we get so convinced that our way is usually best? That surely didn't come from a lifetime of constant success. How did we get fixed in our thinking on a given issue? Not from a track record of first exploring all other alternatives.

This rigidity probably helped us survive childhood. But now it's a wall that isolates us. It closes our minds off from ideas that are more in keeping with where we want to be. And it closes us off from people whom we would like to be with.

In recovery, we are noticing others who are not so fixed in their thinking. They don't pass judgment or criticize quickly. Their tranquility is obvious, and we want more of it. Their openness lets them hear more from others, and that is the way to knowledge, change, and growth.

We find that listening to others is now a blessing, not a burden.

Today help me be open to the example of others.

You are reading from the book: Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Living or Waiting?

What is the real secret of living 24 hours at a time? Isn't it really a matter of feeling completely comfortable in the present rather than believing that happiness depends on something in the future?

Whatever our situation today, it's something we must live through and deal with effectively. We may be overlooking many wonderful things in our present life simply because we believe we need some exciting experience that can only come later on.

We also might be overlooking present opportunities because we're spending too much time in the past. The past, whether it was good or bad, is beyond our control.

Our mission is to live effectively and happily today. We can do this best when we realize that yesterday and tomorrow don't really exist - today is all we can be sure of.

I'll live today in the present, handling every problem as well as I can and enjoying every experience that comes to me.

You are reading from the book: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it.
--Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

It's awesome, the power we each wield in the life that unfolds before us. The inclination of our thoughts invites that which we encounter, which is that which we expect to find. What we can become or experience is limited only by our imagination. Our dreams shine like beacons in the dimness of our minds.

Just as our thoughts can nurture positive experiences and outcomes, negative episodes might be drawn to us, too. We can be sure, though, that we use this individual power to create the flavor of each day as it's met.

Our attitude is the by-product of our thoughts. It is in our attitude that we discover strength or weakness, hope or anxiety, determination or frustration. Alone, we determine whether our attitude will be loving or jaundiced.

The breadth of personal power is awesome. Today will be what I choose to make it. No more and no less.

You are reading from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Through These Doors

Dear God,

Please get me through these doors.

A meeting is what I need.

Remind me to leave my ego and intolerance outside.

Help me to hear the strength and hope in everyone's words.

We are the same but appear so different.

I will remember that others' experiences will help my recovery just as my experience may help another.

You are reading from the book: The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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We need to listen to one another.
--Chaim Potok

Listening is an important skill to cultivate. We need to sit in our healing circles and lovingly listen and learn from each other. We are each other's teachers. Our sponsors listen to our troubles, and we listen to their suggestions. We pray to our Higher Power and then meditate, a form of listening, from which we develop conscious contact with our Higher Power.

Listening is one of the gifts we give to each other. Listening is also one of the gifts we give to ourselves. As we listen to others and learn from them, we stop thinking we are the center of the universe. Listening to others - to truly hear what they say, to learn from them - helps keep our egos in check. We should frequently ask ourselves, "Am I practicing the skills of active listening?"

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, today I pray that I may open myself up to hearing Your voice in the words of others. Allow me to see the people around me as teachers. Help me stay open to being taught.

Today's Action

Today I will listen. I will notice those times when I stop listening and start judging. I will bring myself back into listening mode. Today I will be a learner.

You are reading from the book: God Grant Me... by Anonymous

God Grant Me. . . Copyright 2005 by Hazelden Foundation

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Trying to ignore our worries only pushes them underground.

Pretending we are not anxious, when we are, is a tactic that fools no one, especially not ourselves. Attempting to deny or repress our fears and worries does not work. The result is often depression or a physical ailment, indicating that in our subconscious, we know very well that something is wrong.

The rigorous honesty of the Twelve Step way of life saves us from playing destructive games with ourselves. A worry that we can define and examine in the light of day is far less threatening than one we are trying to hide.

So let's ask ourselves what it is we fear. If our worry is a rational one, we need to decide what we can do to prepare for the worst-case scenario. If the worry is irrational, we need to figure out how to get rid of it. But, no matter whether a worry is rational or irrational, we can't turn it over until we acknowledge we have it. Getting our worries out in the open and talking about them with people whose judgment we trust keeps us grounded in reality.

If I am worried about something today, I will consciously examine it so that I can resolve it.

You are reading from the book: Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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Possibilities and miracles are one and the same.
--Anonymous

Many of us have seen happiness as a goal we couldn't find. When we were children, we were taught that "life is a hard row to hoe." We carried that over into our adult lives.

Seize the day -- We let too many of our days just slide by. None of those hours can be replaced. Why worry over past failures if there is a victory to win? Why keep thinking about our faults when we could be practicing virtues instead?

Seize the day -- Hold each moment tight and look at each one with wide-open eyes and mind. They are our lives, special to each of us. The moments pass swiftly into memory. Let those memories be good ones, filled with joys large and small.

Yesterday's unhappiness can't be changed, but today's happiness is my own responsibility.

You are reading from the book: Easy Does It by Anonymous

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Reflection for the Day

What is the definition of humility? "Absolute humility," said AA co- founder Bill W., "would consist of a state of complete freedom from myself, freedom from all the claims that my defects of character now lay so heavily upon me. Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and places, to find and to do the will of God."
Am I striving for humility?

Today I Pray

May God expand my interpretation of humility beyond abject subservience or awe at the greatness of others. May humility also mean freedom from myself, a freedom, which can come only through turning my being over to God's will. May I sense the omnipotence of God, which is simultaneously humbling and exhilarating. May I be willing to carry out God's will.

Today I Will Remember

Humility is freedom.

You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
-- Mark Twain

Newcomer

At a meeting I shared about a loss I've gone through, and the response was amazing. People expressed sympathy and understanding, and a number of them shared experiences of their own that were similar to mine. It surprised me. I'd told the same story at a different meeting, and people there didn't say a thing to me. I had left feeling like there was something wrong with me. I can't figure out what I did differently this time, maybe there was something about the way I shared.

Sponsor

My hunch is that the difference in response to your sharing from different groups of people had to do with things over which you had no control. There are many possible explanations for people's responses to us; we needn't assume we're responsible for what they do or don't do.

There's an Al-Anon slogan (nicknamed "The Three C's") that says, "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." For me, it's a helpful one to remember, especially when people in my life are active in an addiction or are on a "dry drunk." It's useful in situations with non-addicts, too. Most human beings behave as they do for reasons that have little to do with us.

We're entitled to support and response from other human beings. When I find myself in a group where I experience a warm, engaged response from others, I make a point of returning. Support and validation from others quenches one of my deepest thirsts. But we can't rely on others to give us a sense of self-esteem. That comes from within, it grows as we do the work of recovery.

Today, I go where I find food for my spirit.

You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery.
--Anne Frank

Acknowledging our gratitude for the blessings in our life releases the happiness that we sometimes keep hidden within our heart. And happiness can be contagious. We all know people who are always bubbly, who always look on the bright side of events, who genuinely inspire happiness in us when we're around them. We, too, can serve as a catalyst for happiness in the lives of others.

Knowing that we're never left alone to solve any problem or handle any situation relieves us of much of the anxiety that crowds out happiness. Having God as a constant companion, and having faith that we are moving toward the best outcome for the present circumstance, makes happiness a far more frequent visitor in our life. Happiness becomes habitual when we keep our focus on God as our play's director, the source for all our decisions.

I will share happiness and my faith in God with others today.

You are reading from the book: In God's Care by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

When it comes to my feelings about the past, I might have found comfort in telling myself that I did the best I could at the time. Knowing this probably helped me get through some tough times and deal with my feelings of guilt.

Today, when I find myself feeling guilty about something I've done, I can still remind myself that I'm doing the best I can. With all my knowledge, growth, healing, and willingness, I will still make mistakes. I'm not perfect, nor do I strive to be. I'm doing the best I can do, day by day.

Today I will remind myself of this anytime I feel bad about something I've said or done.

You are reading from the book: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

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He who knows himself, knows others."
--Charles C. Colton

There are many gifts that can come from disappointments if we are open to them.

One such gift is the ability to help others. Having felt anger, guilt, and sorrow, we are better able to identify the same feelings in others. We can be more tolerant of others, and have compassion for those with similar hurts. And, if we overcome the pain of our own disappointments, we can share the attitudes and actions that helped us grow from those hurts.

Another gift is forgiveness. When we do not deny our pain - and make a concerted effort to work through our feelings of anger, rejection, and guilt - we gain a better perspective of ourselves and a better understanding of others. We become aware of our deepest desires and needs, our deepest insecurities and fears, our weaknesses and our strengths. When we can accept and understand our imperfect natures, we can accept the imperfections and growing pains of others.

Today I will use my disappointments as gifts to better understand myself as well as others. I will try to help others overcome their hurts by sharing my struggles and victories with them.


You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.
-- Bill W.

At times, we'll go through pain and hardship. At times, we'll have doubts. At times, we'll get angry and think we just don't care anymore. These things can spiritually blind us. But this is normal. Hopefully, we'll be ready for those times. Hopefully, we will have friends who will be there for us.

Thank God for these moments! Yes, hard times can make our spirits deep and strong. These moments tell us who we are as sober people. These moments help us grow and change. Spirituality is about choice. To be spiritual, we must turn ourselves over to the care of our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day

God, help me find You in my moments of blindness. This is when I really need You.

Today's Action

Today I'll get ready for the hard times ahead. I will list my friends who will be there for me.

You are reading from the book: Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Decisions are like Jello molds. They only turn out firm when the right amount of water is added.
--Roy Palm

A big decision is like a mountain built on a million small rocks. When we find ourselves stuck and feeling paralyzed about making a big decision, perhaps it is because we didn't pay attention to how we stacked the little rocks.

We may develop the habit of being less than honest in our little decisions. Neglecting and avoiding our needs in small decisions may cause us to feel confused when we need to make big choices. Facing small choices honestly gives us a solid base and allows us to freely face the mountains in our lives. When we look at it this way, it's easy to see how important today's small decisions are.

Today let me make all of my decisions, big and small, honestly and courageously.

You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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My thoughts guide my day. Noticing how I awake can help me save the day.
-- Kelley Vickstrom

We may envy friends who seem happy and peaceful. Why aren't they troubled as we so often are? The fact is, we can take actions to become more content too. One of the simplest is to ask our Higher Power for a positive attitude before we even throw back the bed covers.

Being in charge of what we dwell on is easier than we might imagine. We can practice the art of focusing our minds on the positive. Begin by stopping a thought, any thought, in mid-sentence. Focus on a blessing that is obvious today. Anytime an unhealthy thought surfaces, drop it, and replace it with a blessing. This can become a way of life if we make the choice.

We have felt enough pain and experienced enough harm. Today can be much better. And it will be if we carefully select our thoughts.

I am as happy as I truly want to be today. No one can steal peacefulness from me if that's what I really want.

You are reading from the book: A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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Procrastination is the thief of time.
--Edward Young

When we have a problem with putting things off, we seem to add to our troubles by mentally flogging ourselves. We know we are losing time. We criticize ourselves for our irrational behavior. Whether we are putting off an important task in our lives or letting many little undone jobs accumulate, we could benefit from stopping the self criticism and asking ourselves for the spiritual message in our actions. Perhaps we need some quiet time to do absolutely nothing. Maybe our perfectionism is paralyzing us. Is an "all or nothing" attitude telling us if we can't do the whole job right away, there is no point in beginning? Unexpressed anger may be blocking us from doing what we need to do.

Whenever we find ourselves doing things that seem irrational we can ask, "What is the message from my Higher Power in this behavior?" This question will carry us much further toward spiritual growth than the mental criticism we are tempted to do.

Today, I will do what I can within the limits of one day, and I will stay in communication with my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book: Touchstones by Anonymous

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Today's Gift 10/1

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--The Serenity Prayer

One of life's paradoxes is that in order to change an unwanted situation, we must first accept it the way it is. If you wish to move forward in your life, first make peace with what you are presently experiencing.

John was working at a job that he had ceased to enjoy and could not wait to leave. Yet despite his extensive job search, he was unable to find new employment. Realizing that you can't leave a situation without spiritual injury unless you leave it lovingly, John decided to make peace with his job and to bless the people in it. This change of attitude freed him to move on to new employment.

Accepting people as they are is also transformational. For years, a man tried to get his elderly mother to stop complaining. One day he gave up trying to change her and accepted her faults. This experience of unconditional love opened her heart to the point where she stopped condemning herself and others.

If there is some area of your life that you are seeking to change, first practice acceptance. By acknowledging where you are and giving thanks for the good that you have received, you will release an energy that will transform you and your present circumstances.

You are reading from the book:



Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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Todays Gift 10/2

Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.
--Beyond Codependency

Problems and conflicts are parts of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work. Problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non negotiable issues.

We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible.

Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem solving efforts.

You are reading from the book:



The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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Todays Gift 10/3

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The salvation of man is through love and in love.
--Viktor Frankl

The panhandler on the busy street corner reels forsaken. The elderly woman whose phone doesn't ring stares through a gap in her drawn drapes and wonders if she's been forgotten. And awaiting the prayed for visit from a potential foster parent, the child is fearfully certain he won't be acceptable.

The tragedy is that so few of us have experienced whole and unconditional love from the significant people in our lives. So few of us are certain of our value in the lives of others. For parents and teachers we performed to earn their favor. From friends we expected acceptance, yet sometimes we bought it. And because we haven't known the pleasure of unconditional love but have been perpetually in search of it, we've not felt adequate to offer it to others. It's difficult to give away what we fear we don't have; yet, paradoxically, that's the key to our salvation.

As we give others our love, we'll likewise experience a greater measure of it. And it need not come from outside. It will, instead, well up from within. We each have the power of personal salvation. All we must do is love.

You are reading from the book:



Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

We carry problems and discrepancies within us, quandaries that are not easily answered - and we have bigger questions about life and the world. Why did I act as I did in my younger years? Can my life partnership be happy again? How should I handle a secret that I carry? What is this thing we call Higher Power and God?

We are on a journey and, in some ways, this journey is a quest for answers. The questions give energy and direction to our seeking. We cannot expect to get quick or easy answers. And some questions will always remain just that: questions. But we can learn to be patient with ourselves, tolerant of our incompleteness, and always curious about how it will all turn out.

Today I will practice patience with myself and embrace my unsolved questions as crucial elements in my quest.

You are reading from the book:



Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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Todays Gift 10/5

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

God hasn't called me to be successful. He's called me to be faithful.
--Mother Teresa

A reporter asked Mother Teresa how she could bear to go on working at such a hopeless task day after day and year after year. The people she cared for were so wretchedly poor. Many of them, very sick. How could she continue with such dedication, knowing that all the poverty and sickness would still be there long after she had died? Didn't she realize she couldn't win?

Her explanation was simple: Of course she knew the task was immense, but "finishing" wasn't her purpose. Mother Teresa had turned her life and will over to God, and her work was what she believed to be God's will for her. Because of this, she was devoted to the task itself, not to the completion of it.

We too can learn to be receptive to a higher purpose. We can direct our energies into causes we believe in, even if we know the job will never be finished. We can visit with friends and family and not try to win a verbal exchange. We can accept the will of our Higher Power and thereby find serenity.

Today, I will let go of the driving need to succeed or to impress others. Instead, I will be receptive to my Higher Power's will.

You are reading from the book:



Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

[thereishope]

Todays Gift 10/6

Today's thoughts from Hazelden are:

Some people grumble because the roses have thorns instead of being grateful that the thorns have roses.

*****

We must learn from the mistakes of others because we won't live long enough to make them all ourselves.

*****

Don't look down on another person unless you are leaning over to help them up.

*****

What a different world this would be if people would magnify their blessings the way they do their troubles.

*****

The largest room in the world is the room for improvement.

*****

Winners - people who tell you what they did and not people who tell you what they think you ought to do.

You are reading from the book:



Keep Coming Back Gift Book by Meiji Stewart

[thereishope]

Don't look down on another person unless you are leaning over to help them up.


This is something i was told and I NEVER FORGOT IT!!!!
It made a big impact on me. For 1....i wasnt feeling to well about myself at the time and the person that said it to me was saying to me i care about you no matter what you think of yourself. For 2.....it is how i want to treat others and i want them to also feel accepted and loved no matter what they think of themselvs.

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It is a matter first of beginning - and then following through.
--Richard L. Evans

How many times have we started a project or a new path of living only to abandon it after a short time? We may have thought it wasn't what we wanted or there wasn't enough time. Instead of following through, we usually gave up just when it was getting challenging and difficult.

What are our dreams today? Do we wish we could speak a second language, know how to operate a computer, exercise regularly, or attend more meetings? What's stopping us? Each task we'd like to accomplish can only be done by persistence and dedication. We learn a new language one word at a time, learn how to operate a computer one step at a time, exercise regularly one day at a time, and attend more meetings one night at a time.

We don't have to give up an endeavor just because the hard work has begun. Instead of looking down the road where we want to be, we need to look at this moment. If we take a step toward our goals, we'll be closer than if we never took that step.

I can walk toward my goal, remembering each step I take will bring me closer to achievement and personal reward.

You are reading from the book: Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Night Light by Amy E. Dean. Copyright 1986, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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I wish I hadn't lost track of the guys I was stationed with. I kick myself for that.
--Tom Harding

We all have regrets, don't we? Some of us left jobs or spouses or neighborhoods only to wish we hadn't. Perhaps we closed the door on our family of origin and then felt grief when parents or siblings died. More commonly we regret the instances when our mean spirited behavior or attitude hurt someone else. We weren't always honest and forthright; we didn't always try to help a friend or co-worker who needed our advice. We simply didn't put our best self forward when the opportunities for doing so presented themselves.

Dwelling on the "shoulds" of past years is fruitless. We did the best we knew how to do at the time. The past is gone. Let's quit digging up the bones of old regrettable experiences. All they do is cloud our minds when we're trying to respond to today's opportunities.

I won't have anything to regret tomorrow if I respond to today with my best self.

You are reading from the book: Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Keepers of the Wisdom. Copyright 1996 by Karen Casey. .

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If my life were like a ship on the sea, today I will be the navigator.

I may have been used to someone else steering my ship or telling me which way to go. I may have felt that I had no control over my own life, and I probably didn't. I will take the wheel and read my own map. I will decide which way my ship will go and which route I will take. Even though I may choose to have a crew of advisers who can help me, I will be the one to chart my course.

I realize that on the sea of life, I can't control the weather, but I'm perfectly capable of adjusting my sails.

You are reading from the book: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith

Time to Fly Free. Copyright 2001 by Judith R. Smith. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
--Sebastian R. N. Champort

We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.

Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.

You are reading from the book: Today's Gift by Anonymous

Today's Gift. Copyright 1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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Stop playing tug-of-war.

Letting go can be like a tug-of-war with God.

Have you ever played tug-of-war with a puppy and an old sock or a toy? He pulls. You pull it out of his mouth. He grabs hold again and shakes and shakes and says grrrrrr. The harder you tug, the harder the puppy tugs. Finally, you just let go. Then he comes right back again, for more.

I have never successfully treated or solved one problem in my life by obsessing or controlling. I've yet to accomplish anything by worrying. And manipulation has not wrought one successful outcome. But I forget that from time to time.

The best possible outcomes happen when I let go. That doesn't mean I always get my way. But things work out and, ultimately, the lesson becomes clear. If we want to play tug-of-war, we can, but it's not an efficient problem-solving skill.

God, help me surrender to your will.

You are reading from the book: More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

More Language of Letting Go. Copyright 2000 by Melody Beattie. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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When we have internalized Step One, our lives reflect it.

Admitting we are powerless over alcohol is not very difficult for most of us. Admitting we are powerless over the alcoholic is another matter. After all, we have used shame quite successfully to get our way on occasion, intimidation sometimes worked. Our relentlessness sometimes wore the alcoholic down. But we never really changed that person.

Fully accepting our powerlessness over all other people may seem scary at first. (What will we do with our time?) But it makes our own lives so much simpler. Relief from worry and frustration is only the first gift. Having time to pursue our own goals comes next. Discovering happiness at will is another blessing. Once we get used to being powerless over other people, we'll realize how much living we gave up in the past.

I will find joy in my powerlessness today. I will have more energy for myself.

You are reading from the book: A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey. Copyright 1993 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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A.A. Thought for the Day

Many people are creeping through life on their hands and knees, merely because they refuse to rely on any power but themselves. Many of them feel that they are being brave and independent, but actually they are only courting disaster. Anxiety and the inferiority complex have become the greatest of all modern plagues. In AA we have the answer to these ills. Have I ceased to rely on myself only?

Meditation for the Day

When I am in doubt, I am not going anywhere. Doubt poisons all action. I meet life with a "yes," an affirmative attitude. There is good in the world, and I can follow that good. There is power available to help me to do the right thing; therefore I will accept that power.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may go along on the venture of faith.

You are reading from the book: Twenty-four Hours a Day for Teens by Anonymous

Twenty-Four Hours a Day for Teens. Copyright 2004 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It is the act of forgiveness that opens up the only possible way to think creatively about the future at all.
-- Father Desmond Wilson

Today is full of endless possibilities and dreams. In many cases, we are limited only by our fear and lack of hope, in others and ourselves. Each new day we are given a clean page to live in our book of life.

What freedom we find when we choose to practice the art of forgiveness. Forgiving others and ourselves will allow us to step into this new day as free human beings. What can really hurt us in the present if we have the key to daily forgiveness? What could our friend, boss, or enemy possibly say that would be worth the emotional price of on-going resentment?

Freedom is a gift we give ourselves every time we choose not to react to a hurtful comment. Holding on to old resentments keeps our creative energy trapped and stifled. Our choices are these: new freedom or old resentment. We choose new freedom. It is the gift we give ourselves when we choose not to let the sun rise on yesterday's script.

Today let me forgive everyone and anything - past and present - that might distract me from my spiritual growth.

You are reading from the book: Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

Body, Mind, and Spirit. Copyright 1990 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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Becoming forgiving

The lack of a forgiving spirit hurts our spiritual progress. Being unforgiving causes resentment, which is always a danger to our new way of life.

We have learned that if we forgive, we will be forgiven; but if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So it seems we are just hurting ourselves by not forgiving others.

Am I forgiving?

Higher Power, help me forgive each person I need to forgive today.

You are reading from the book: Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

Day by Day. Copyright 1974, 1998 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

The satisfaction you get out of living a rational life is made up of a lot of little things, but they add up to a satisfactory and happy life. You take out of life what you put into it. So you say to people coming into this program, "Don't worry about what life will be like without the turmoil you have had. Just stay with it and a lot of good things will happen for you. And you'll have that feeling of quiet satisfaction and peace, of serenity and gratitude." Is my life becoming really satisfying?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

There are two paths we may take, one up and one down. We have been given free will to choose either path. We are captains of our souls to this extent only. We can choose the good or the bad. If we choose the wrong path, we go down, eventually to death. But if we choose the right path, we go up and up, until we come to eternal happiness. On the wrong path, we have no power for good because we do not choose to ask for it. But on the right path, we are on the side of good. We have all the power of God's spirit with us.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may be in the stream of goodness. I pray that I may be on the right side, on the side of all good in the universe.

You are reading from the book: Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck

Look to this Day by Alan L. Roeck. Copyright 1978 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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Personal Responsibility

There will be times when other people will disappoint us - either intentionally or because of indifference or incompetence. If we have been counting on them, their nonperformance can cause us real anger and frustration.

Our growth, however, should teach us that such failures are part of life. While never losing trust in others, we must accept them as fallible people. Their mistakes and lapses come from the human shortcomings all of us have.

Our best course is to live without expecting too much from others. They are not here to please or satisfy us. It's possible, too, that we've been unrealistic in some of our expectations and have set ourselves up for disappointments.

Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. At the same time, we can grow by becoming more reliable and dependable ourselves.

We cannot use another's failure as an excuse for negligence on our part.

Today I'll expect the best, but I will know that I also have the spiritual resources to deal with the worst that can happen.

You are reading from the book: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B. Copyright 1996 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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A house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body.
-- Margaret Fuller

No matter how full our social and professional lives are we all need a base, a place where we are at home. Whether it's a studio apartment furnished from secondhand stores and garage sales or a luxurious country retreat, one of our basic human urges is the need to make a home. And our spiritual fulfillment asks that our home nourish us.

Look around: in our choices for our home we reveal what nourishes and inspires us. Perhaps we opt for the comfortable and well-used: old books, chairs that speak more to the back and bottom than to the eye. Perhaps we are restless and change the way our homes look frequently. We all use our homes to express our desires.

Are we neglecting "food and fire for the mind"? Sometimes we misinterpret inertia as comfort. Are we giving our minds a wholesome environment?

Fuel for my spirit is never wholly consumed. Today, I will look to my supply.

You are reading from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg. Copyright 1983, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

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Today I Will Trust

Today, I will stop straining to know what I don't know.
To see what I can't see.
To understand what I don't yet understand.
I will trust that being is sufficient,
And I will let go of my need to figure things out.


You are reading from the book: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

The Language of Letting Go. Copyright 1990 by Hazelden Foundation.

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There is nothing permanent except change.
--Heraclitus

Most of us don't like change very much. Getting sober is like stepping into a rushing river of change that will take us to new places in our lives. We sense that. We are learning to trust it more each day. But even though life keeps getting better for us, we still keep some of that fear inside us about what will happen if we keep working our recovery program and life keeps changing for us.

Maybe we get a good job, and we are afraid we will louse it up. Maybe we make new friends, and we are afraid they will find out what a jerk we really are. Maybe our kids are speaking to us again and want to have a better relationship, and we are afraid of the responsibility.

You know what? It'll be okay. It's okay to have good things happen. It's okay to trust ourselves to handle responsibility. Nobody knows how to do life perfectly - that's why we need our Higher Power to guide us.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, Help me listen for Your directions today as I walk through a new day in sobriety. Together we can handle any surprises and changes the day may bring.

Today's Action

Today I will write down three ways fear of change is holding me back, and I will talk with my sponsor about these things. What do I need to do to be ready for these changes?

You are reading from the book: God Grant Me... by Anonymous

God Grant Me. . . Copyright 2005 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Daily our spirits are renewed.

For most of us, a spiritual awakening does not come once and for all. Instead, we have small flashes of insight here and there, and every once in a while we look back and realize with gratitude how the promises of the program have been coming true for us.

Just as our bodies need daily nourishment, so do our spirits. We can seek people and experiences that leave us feeling warm and uplifted. We can take time each day to become quiet in mind and body so that we hear the inner messages that refresh our spirits. We can read something inspirational, listen to good music, look at a beautiful painting or a sunset, grasp a friend's hand in understanding, and say a prayer.

Our spirits bounce back from hurt and depression. They are more easily renewed when we take proper care of our bodies, since we are a total entity of heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Today, I will look for ways to feed my spirit.

You are reading from the book: Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L. Copyright 1990 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

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Fame is what you have taken. Character is what you give. When to this truth you waken, then you begin to live.
--Bayard Taylor

Long-timers continually tell newcomers to strive to build a strong character for use in facing the world's realities. Sometimes they leave the impression that character is what others think about us. But the opinion others have about us is not important. Character is what we are, not what others think we are.

We are not born with character. It is developed through patience and much humility. It is what we are in the dark. Our character is revealed by an outer show of an inner glow. It is our reserve force for living. It is more useful than talent and shows itself best during our contact with others.

Today, I'll remember my character can be a force that respects truth, develops will and spirit, accents positive action, and makes all of these assets evident to other people.

You are reading from the book: Easy Does It by Anonymous

Easy Does It. Copyright 1999 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Reflection for the Day

Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close are the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The keyword in this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through the Program, I am learning to develop my own personality. Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies?

Today I Pray

May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own personhood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms.

Today I Will Remember
Take the liberty. It's yours.

You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

A Day at a Time. Copyright 1989 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Newcomer
Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.

Sponsor
What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.

Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true - that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.

Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.

Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.

You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Do not be afraid of the ego. It depends on your mind, and as you made it by believing in it, so you can dispel it by withdrawing belief from it.
--A Course in Miracles

Some of us are fond of saying "the devil made me do it" when we've done something we're not too proud of. We might as well say "the ego made me do it" because the ego is our own personal "devil."

Sometimes we like to claim that we weren't in complete control of our actions, that we were overcome by an irresistible urge. We can't, however, say that with a clear conscience. At one time in our addictive past, maybe, but not now. Now, we can be responsible. An urge can overcome us only to the extent that we let it - only as we give it the power of believing in it.

We have a choice. We can listen to the voice of our ego or the voice of God. How can we tell the difference? By how we feel. The ego's urgings always leave us with some misgivings. God's guidance assures us.

I choose to listen to the voice of assurance.

You are reading from the book: In God's Care by Karen Casey

In God's Care by Karen Casey. Copyright 1991 by Hazelden

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I don't always get to know why things happen.

I may spend hours, even days, trying to figure out why bad things have happened to me. I may get caught up in trying to understand other people, situations, and even my own thoughts.

Today I will accept that I don't have to know why things are the way they are. Instead I can pay attention to healing, growing, and learning.

You are reading from the book: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

Time to Break Free. Copyright 1999 by Judith R. Smith.

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Slow motion gets you there faster.
--Hoagy Carmichael

"One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is patience," admitted a fellow. "I've been in a race all my life. I suppose I could compare myself to the hare in the fable of ‘The Tortoise and the Hare.' I jump into things, rush at them, and never seem to cross the finish line. I get side-tracked by other things that seem to need immediate attention. I never have a sense of peace. Everything has to be done by yesterday.

"I was even in a hurry in my marriage - which is one reason I'm divorced now. I wanted my wife to race with me. I wanted her to be perfect overnight. I nagged at her constantly. I was too impatient to let her grow at her own speed. Because I couldn't slow down, I couldn't allow her to be at peace either.

"I thought I was doing all the changing and growing. When, in reality, all I was doing was bombarding my problems and projects with a lot of momentum and very little common sense."

Today I will slow down. I only increase my difficulties when I try to solve them in a hurry.


You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes. Copyright 1981

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Slow motion gets you there faster.
--Hoagy Carmichael

"One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is patience," admitted a fellow. "I've been in a race all my life. I suppose I could compare myself to the hare in the fable of ‘The Tortoise and the Hare.' I jump into things, rush at them, and never seem to cross the finish line. I get side-tracked by other things that seem to need immediate attention. I never have a sense of peace. Everything has to be done by yesterday.

"I was even in a hurry in my marriage - which is one reason I'm divorced now. I wanted my wife to race with me. I wanted her to be perfect overnight. I nagged at her constantly. I was too impatient to let her grow at her own speed. Because I couldn't slow down, I couldn't allow her to be at peace either.

"I thought I was doing all the changing and growing. When, in reality, all I was doing was bombarding my problems and projects with a lot of momentum and very little common sense."

Today I will slow down. I only increase my difficulties when I try to solve them in a hurry.


You are reading from the book: The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes. Copyright 1981

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

An honest man's the noblest work of God.
--Alexander Pope

Step Five says, "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." When we did this Step, the person we admitted our wrongs to didn't run away or reject us. That person stuck with us. Chances are, we were told that we are quite human. And working Step Five helped us to see that we can change, now that we're sober.

The most important part of Step Five is the act of being totally honest about ourselves. Then we know that relationships - with our Higher Power, ourselves, and others - can be built. We have faced the truth. Now we know we never have to lie.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I know no Fifth Step is perfect. Please help me be as honest as I can in doing my Fifth Step and at other times.

Action for the Day

If I've avoided doing a Fifth Step, I'll talk to my sponsor about it today.

You are reading from the book: Keep It Simple by Anonymous

Keep It Simple. Copyright 1989 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing.
-- Elisabeth L.

"What's to celebrate?" some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don't have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thankful rather than "thankless" is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity.

We've all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life, themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let's do it!

I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone's life.

You are reading from the book: A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey. Copyright 1994 by Hazelden Foundation.

[letgo]

Early on in Recovery it was suggested I write a daily gratitude list. I still do them when I am feeling off centre or sliding onto the pity pot. It's a good discipline and brings me back to what's really important; being sober.

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The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil.
--Hannah Arendt

How often have we found ourselves in a predicament and innocently saying, "How did I get into this?" When someone has been injured by our actions because we failed to think about them, do we take the responsibility? If a friend is unfairly treated on the job, do we take a stand for him? When we know people are starving, what do we do about it? When our loved ones say they are lonely and wish we would talk to them, how do we respond?

In this program we have chosen to live by our values. We cannot sit passively and fail to live up to those values. Each situation is different, so we must think about what is called for. When we do not think about our reactions, we are in danger of adding to the evil in the world. When we act upon our principles, we feel more hopeful and wholesome.

Today, I will be alert to the difference between good and evil in my actions. I pray for the strength to take a stand.

You are reading from the book: Touchstones by Anonymous

Touchstones. Copyright 1986, 1991 by Hazelden

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If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost, that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.
--Henry David Thoreau

Positive thinkers have dreams, set goals, make plans, follow through on plans, and get results. Action is the magic word. The more we believe in ourselves, the more we are able to accomplish.

One way to start getting positive results in our lives is to watch how others succeed. If we stick with the winners and learn from their attitudes, we can do just about anything we make up our minds to do.

Today let me choose to set a goal for myself and follow through until I attain it.

You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

Copyright 1990 by Hazelden Foundation.

[admin]

11/26

Counting our blessings

We have passed from death into life. We know that a powerful life force flows through us and a new and beautiful serenity is ours. What we once despised, we now cherish. We cease to find the world of drugs attractive.

This is a blessing and a miracle, for at one point we were among those considered to be the hopeless ones. Let's thank our Higher Power for our spiritual understanding and for the blessings of a clean and sober life.

Do I count my blessings each day?

Higher Power, I give thanks from the depths of my heart and soul for the blessing of my new life.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

[admin]

11/27

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The expression of praise as thanksgiving, gratitude, and joy is among the most powerful forms of affirmation.
--Catherine Ponder

Praise inevitably has a multiple effect. It positively acknowledges another human being, enhancing his or her well being, while making us feel good. This offering of love, which is the substance of praise, heals all who share in its circle.

We can see the effects of affirmation in the people we admire. We can discern its absence too, particularly among those who struggle. How difficult is it to give small acknowledgments to those we care about? Making a habit of this heals our own inner wounds too.

Affirming a friend or ourselves connects us to the spirit residing within. That bond fills in our empty spaces, making us whole and healed. Our security grows as we praise one another.

I will freely offer my love in the form of praise to the wonderful friends on my path today.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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Thank You dear Tammy for keeping these up for me. I love you my friend.

I hope to be back soon. I found another book I would love to share with you all when I do get back. It is one that has some awesome readings that feeds the spirit.

[francie21805]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Reflection for the Day

I must never forget who and what I am and where I come from. I have to remember the nature of my illness and what it was like before I came to The Program. I'll try to keep the memory green, yet not spend my time dwelling morbidly on the past. I won't be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to others, so others will give to me. Can I ever afford to forget what it used to be like, even for one minute?

Today I Pray

May I never forget the painful days of my addiction. May I never forget that the same misery awaits me if I should slip back into the old patterns. At the same time, may such backward glances serve only to bolster my own present strength and the strength of others like me. Please, God, do not let me dredge up these recollections in order to outdo or "out drunk" my fellow members. Like others who are chemically dependent, I must be wary of my desire to be center stage in the spotlight.

Today I Will Remember

I do more when I don't 'outdo.'

You are reading from the book: A Day at a Time by Anonymous

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Thank You Fran
Not sure when I will hear back from Hazelton with the change in my new email addy so I can once again get these coming to me

I really appreciate you posting for me..
Hugs

[francie21805]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
--Pearl S. Buck

We make mistakes because we are human, we are imperfect, we are frequently out of touch with the rhythms of the moment. When our minds are one place, either still trapped by the past or in limbo due to fear of the future, we fail to revere the experience of the present. And only when we salute completely the moment do we respond accurately to its meaning.

Seldom is a mistake as important as we allow it to be. Always we can rechart our steps; never is a task completed without some modifications along the way. Perhaps we'd do well to consider all mistakes as simply modifications in the original plans. Corrections triggered by mistakes may well be responsible for better outcomes. In fact, mistakes may be part of the process necessary to keep our spiritual program focused. Their role in our lives may be of greater significance than we'd ever imagined.

However, we shouldn't dwell on the mistake but, rather, on the remedy.

Today I'll have to modify my steps, probably a few times. And that's to be expected.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Sunday, November 30, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Doubt indulged soon becomes doubt realized.
--Frances Ridley Havergal

We are powerless over our addictions, whether liquor, pills, people, food. We are powerless over the outcome of all events involving us. And we are powerless over the lives of our friends and family members. We are not powerless, however, over our own attitudes, our own behavior, our own self-image, our own determination, our own commitment to life and this simple program.

Power aplenty we have, but we must exercise it in order to understand its breadth. We'll find all the day's activities, interactions, and plans decidedly more exciting when we exercise control over our responses. We don't have to feel or respond except in the way that pleases us. We have total control and we'll find this realization exhilarating.

Our recovery is strengthened each time we determine the proper behavior, choose an action that feels right, and take responsibility where it is clearly ours to take. The benefits will startle us and bring us joy.

I will take charge of my life today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Monday, December 1, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

And it isn't the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone
Which gives you a bit of a heartache
At the setting of the sun.
--Margaret Sangster

A quality we all share, a very human quality, is to expect perfection from ourselves, to expect the impossible in all tasks done. We must rejoice for the good we do. Each time we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, our confidence grows a little bit more. Recovery is best measured by our emotional and spiritual health, expressed in our apparent confidence and trust in "the process."

We need to recognize and celebrate our strong points, and they'll gain even more strength. Likewise, we need to practice prayer and listening to guidance first to develop our ties to God, but more importantly to be able to acknowledge when help is at hand. We can do all we need to do with God's help.

Having goals but keeping them realistic, for the day or the year, is a sign of emotional health. Not dwelling on those that can't be accomplished, at the moment, is another sign. A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally.

There's never a better time than right now for rejoicing over what I've done.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Tuesday, December 2, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning . . .
--George Sand

Change is constant. And we are always becoming. Each chance, each feeling, and each responsibility we commit ourselves to adds to the richness of our womanhood. We are not yesterday's woman, today. Our new awarenesses have brought us beyond her. And we can't go back without knowing, somehow, that she no longer meets the needs of today.

We can look forward to our changes, to the older woman we are becoming. She will have the wisdom that we still lack. She will have learned to live and let live. She will have acquired, through years of experiences, a perspective that lends sanity to all situations.

The lessons we are learning today, the pain that overwhelms us now and again, are nurturing the developing woman within each of us. If only we could accept the lessons and master them. If only we could trust the gift of change that accompanies the pain.

I am becoming. And with the becoming, comes peace. I can sense it today. I know where I was yesterday.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Sometimes, sisters have the same journey in their hearts. One may help the other or betray her. Will they cross over? Will the ship sail without them?
--Louise Bernikow

Other women share our struggle. When we treat our women friends as sisters and fellow pilgrims, we find great joy in our mutual help. We pray for the wisdom to let go our feelings of insecurity and rivalry with other women.

Rivalry is not good for us. It leads us to forget our own unique qualities. We each are the best person in the world at one thing: being ourselves. When we compete, we need to retain a balanced perspective and to think well of ourselves whether we win or lose. We run the best race we can; therefore, let us not regard other women as rivals. They are our sisters, and they, too, are doing the best they can.

Today, I will pray for the serenity that will let me see when my sisters have the same journey in their hearts as I.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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:1:

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You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child.
--Joanna Field

Feeling apart from the action and always looking on; wanting attention, and yet afraid of being noticed; no doubt these are familiar memories to most of us. We may still struggle with our self-perception, but we can celebrate that we no longer drown our moods. Connecting with the people next to us, though difficult, is no longer impossible when we rely on the program.

There is a way to be a part of the action, a way that never fails. It takes only a small effort, really. We can simply look, with love, at someone nearby today and extend our hearts in honest attention. When we make someone else feel special, we'll become special too.

Recovery can help each of us move beyond the boundaries of our own ego. Trusting that our lives are in the loving care of God, however we understand God, relieves us of the need for self-centeredness. We can let go of ourselves now that God is in charge, and we'll discover that we have joined the action.

I will open my heart, and I'll be joined to all that's around me.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Friday, December 5, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

It is a long baptism into the seas of humankind, my daughter. Better immersion than to live untouched.
--Tillie Olsen

We have each had days when we preferred hiding under the covers, avoiding life at all costs. And in times gone by, we did just that, sometimes too frequently. What we didn't always know, and what we still forget on occasion, is that we have a ready and willing partner who will join us in every pursuit.

The more fully we commit ourselves to one another and to all our experience, the closer we will come to the very serenity we long for. Serenity accompanies our increasing understanding of life's many mysteries. It's easy to cheat ourselves out of the prizes any day offers us. Fear fosters inertia, leaving us separate, alone, even more afraid. But we have an appointment with life. And our appointment will bring us to the place of full understanding, the place where we'll be certain, forever after, that all is well. And that life is good.

Today's appointments are part of the bigger plan for my life. I will face them, enjoy them, and reap their rewards.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Sunday, December 7, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree--they bear no fruit.
--Frances Marion

The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power - strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.

We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.

No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.

My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Monday, December 8, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring.
--Dodie Smith

Repeatedly, today and every day, we will be in new situations, new settings with old friends, and old settings and situations with new friends. Each instance is fresh, unlike all the times before. And inspiration can accompany each moment, if we but recognize how special it is.

"We will not pass this way again," so the song says, which heightens the meaning of each encounter, every experience. Acknowledging that something can be gained each step along the way invites inspiration.

Inspiration moves us to new heights. We will be called to step beyond our present boundaries. Maybe today. Whenever the inspiration catches our attention, we can trust its invitation; we are ready for the challenge it offers. We need not let our narrow, personal expectations of an experience, a new situation perhaps, prevent us from being open to all the dynamic possibilities it offers.

I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I experience be the only moment getting my attention.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

To do nothing is failure. To try, and in the trying you make some mistakes and then you make some positive changes as a result of those mistakes, is to learn and to grow and to blossom.
--Darlene Larson Jenks

Life is a process, one that is continuously changing. And with each change, we are offered unexpected opportunities for growth. Change is what fosters our development as women. It encourages us to risk new behavior and may even result in some mistakes. Fortunately, no mistakes can seriously hinder us. In fact, most mistakes give us an additional opportunity to learn.

Where we stand today is far removed from our position last year, or even last week. Each and every moment offers us new input that influences any decision from this moment forward. The process that we're participating in guarantees our growth as long as we remain conscious of our opportunities and willingly respond to them. We can be glad that the life process is, in fact, never static. always moving, always inviting us to participate fully.

I will have the courage to make a mistake today. It's a promise of growth.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. No good thing can be withheld from the forgiving state of mind.
--Catherine Ponder

Forgiveness fosters humility, which invites gratitude. And gratitude blesses us; it makes manifest greater happiness. The more grateful we feel for all aspects of our lives, the greater will be our rewards. We don't recognize the goodness of our lives until we practice gratitude. And gratitude comes easiest when we're in a forgiving state of mind.

Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love. First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We've come full circle - and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our perceptions of life's events, and it promises greater happiness.

The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change when I develop a forgiving heart.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Thursday, December 11, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
Occupation is essential.
--Virginia Woolf

Having desires, setting goals, and achieving them are necessary to our fulfillment. There is purpose to our lives, even when we can't clearly see our direction; even when we doubt our abilities to contribute. Let us continue to respond to our opportunities.

Many of us experienced the clouds of inaction in earlier periods waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping our circumstances would change, even praying they would, but taking no responsibility for changing what was in our power. Inaction caged us. Stripped of power, life held little or no meaning. However, we've been given another chance. The program has changed our lives. We have a reason for living, each day, even the days we feel hopeless and worthless.

Maybe we are without a goal at this time. Perhaps the guidance is not catching our attention. We can become quiet with ourselves and let our daydreams act as indicators. We have something essential to do, and we are being given all the chances we'll need to fulfill our purpose. We can trust in our worth, our necessity to others.

I will remember, the program came to me. I must have a part to play. I will look and listen for my opportunities today.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Friday, December 12, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

If I am to be remembered, I hope it is for the honesty I try to demonstrate, the patience I try to live by, and the compassion I feel for others.
--JoAnn Reed

Each of us hopes we are leaving a lasting, positive impression on those we befriend and maybe even those we encounter by chance. Having others speak well of us provides the strokes that are often necessary to our "keeping on" when difficulties surface. What we sometimes forget is that we are responsible for whatever lasting impression we leave.
Our behavior does influence what another person carries away from our mutual experience.

We may have left unfavorable impressions during our using days. On occasion, we do yet. However, it's progress, not perfection, we're after. And each day we begin anew, with a clear slate and fresh opportunities to spread good cheer, to treat others with love and respect, to face head-on and with full honesty all situations drawing our attention and participation.

As I look forward to the hours ahead, I will remember that I control my actions toward others. If I want to be remembered fondly, I must treat each person so.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Saturday, December 13, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Across the fields I can see the radiance of your smile and I know in my heart you are there. But the anguish I am feeling makes the distance so very far to cross.
--Deidra Sarault

Looking down the hallway of our lives, we sense many uncomfortable corners. And they are there. But through the discomfort comes the ease of understanding. The security that we long for, we discover has been ours all along. All we needed to do was move into the corner - with trust.

As we stand before any problems, any new task, any unfamiliar environment, dread may overwhelm us. We stand there alone. But the choice available to us now and always is to invite the spirit of God to share the space we're in. In concert with God's Spirit, no problem or task can be greater than our combined abilities to handle it.

Our lives will be eased in direct proportion to our faith that God is there, caring for our every concern, putting before us the experiences we need to grow on. We can let go of our anguish, our doubts and fears. Eternal triumph is ours for the asking.

The smiling faces I encounter today--I will let them assure me that all is well.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Sunday, December 14, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

A theme may seem to have been put aside, but it keeps returning--the same thing modulated, somewhat changed in form.
--Muriel Rukeyser

No struggle we have is really new. It's another shade of the struggle that plagued us last week or perhaps last year. And we'll stumble again and again until we learn to quit struggling. The trying situations at work, or the personality type that irritates us, will always exist. But when we've come to accept as good and growth-enhancing all situations and all persons, we'll sense the subtle absence of struggle. We'll realize that the person we couldn't tolerate has become a friend. The situation we couldn't handle is resolved, forever.

The lessons we need to learn keep presenting themselves, until we've finished the homework. If we sense a struggle today, we can look at it as an assignment, one that is meant for our growth. We can remember that our struggles represent our opportunities to grow. Fortunately, the program has given us a tutor. We have a willing teacher to help us. We need to move on, to be open to other assignments. No problem will be too much for us to handle.

I will enjoy my role as student today. I will be grateful for all opportunities to grow. They make possible my very special contribution in this life.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Monday, December 15, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
Happiness is a form of freedom, and of all people I should be the freest. I've earned this happiness and this freedom.
--Angela L. Wozniak

Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too.

Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life.

We can take a moment today, each time an action is called for, to consider our response. The one that squares with our inner selves and feels good, is the right one. Happiness will accompany it.

Happiness is always within my power. My attitude is at the helm.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
To have someone who brings out the colors of life and whose very presence offers tranquility and contentment enriches my being and makes me grateful for the opportunity to share.
--Kathleen Tierney Crilly

Loneliness and isolation are familiar states to most of us. We often protected our insecurities by hiding out, believing that we'd survive if others didn't know who we really were. But we discovered that our insecurities multiplied. The remedy is people - talking to people, exposing our insecurities to them, risking, risking, risking.

Sharing our mutual vulnerabilities helps us see how fully alike we are. Our most hated shortcoming is not unique, and that brings relief. It's so easy to feel utterly shamed in isolation. Hearing another woman say, "I understand. I struggle with jealousy too," lifts the shame, the dread, and the burden of silence. The program has taught us that secrets make us sick, and the longer we protect them, the greater are our struggles.

The program promises fulfillment, serenity, and achievement when we willingly share our lives. Each day we can lighten our burdens and help another lighten hers, too.

I will be alert today to the needs of others. I will risk sharing. I will be a purveyor of tranquility.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.
--Madeline Bridge

We do reap, in some measure, at some time, what we sow. Our respect for others will result in kind. Our love expressed will return tenfold. The kindness we greet others with will ease their relations with us. We get from others what we give, if not at this time and place, at another. We can be certain that our best efforts toward others do not go unnoticed. And we can measure our due by what we give.

A major element of our recovery is the focus we place on our behavior, the seriousness with which we tackle our inventories. We can look at ourselves and how we reach out and act toward others; it is a far cry from where we were before entering this program. Most of us obsessed on "What he did to me," or "What she said." And then returned their actions in kind.

How thrilling is the knowledge that we can invite loving behavior by giving it! We have a great deal of control over the ebb and flow of our lives. In every instance we can control, our behavior. Thus never should we be surprised about the conditions of our lives.

What goes around comes around. I will look for the opportunities to be kind and feel the results.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Thursday, December 18, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world.
--Mary Casey

We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always given exactly what we need at the moment. None of us can see what tomorrow is designed to bring, and our fantasies are always tied to a future moment. Our fantasies seldom correlate with the real conditions that are necessary to our continued spiritual growth.

Fantasies are purposeful. They give us goals to strive for, directions to move in. They are never as far-sighted as the goals our higher power has in store for us, though. We have far greater gifts than we are aware of, and we are being pushed to develop them at the very times when it seems our world is crashing down.

We can cherish our fantasies - but let them go. Our real purpose in life far exceeds our fondest dreams. The Steps have given us the tools to make God's plan for us a reality.

How limited is my vision, my dreams. If one of mine is dashed today, I will rest assured that an even better one will present itself, if I but let it.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Friday, December 19, 2008
Higher expectations
When you discover that you've exceeded your own best expectations, don't be frightened. Be curious, and get a little more ambitious.

After all, you've done something you never expected you could do. Think of what else you could now do that you would have never before considered.

Though it's great to succeed beyond your expectations, it can also be very uncomfortable. And that discomfort can pull you back down, getting you to underperform in order to compensate for your recent spectacular performance.
Instead of giving in to that need for comfort, get excited about what you've just accomplished. Instead of bowing to your previous expectations, choose to raise your expectations even higher.

No, you didn't just get lucky. You took the actions necessary to accomplish even more than you had expected.

Now you have the outstanding opportunity to build on that accomplishment. Step boldly forward, don't look back, and continue amazing yourself with all that you can do.
-- Ralph Marston

www.greatday.com

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Saturday, December 20, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today.

Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time.

We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration.

I will congratulate others and myself today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Sunday, December 21, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . .
--Gail Hamilton

We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others.

It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives.

When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have - acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs,

I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Monday, December 22, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep.
--Ursula K. LeGuin

Sometimes we need to turn away from what's troubling us. Turn it over, says the Third Step. hanging onto a situation for which no solution is immediately apparent, only exaggerates the situation. It is often said the solution to any problem lies within it. However, turning the problem over and over in our minds keeps our attention on the outer appearance, not the inner solution.

Rest, meditation, quiet attention to other matters, other persons, opens the way for God to reveal the solution. Every problem can be resolved. And no answer is ever withheld for long. We need to be open to it, though. We need to step away from our ego, outside of the problem and then listen fully to the words of friends, to the words that rise from our own hearts. Too much thinking, incessant analyzing, will keep any problem a problem.

I will rest from my thoughts. I will give my attention wholly to the present. Therein will come the solution, and when least expected.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
. . . The present enshrines the past.
--Simone de Beauvoir

Each of our lives is a multitude of interconnecting pieces, not unlike a mosaic. What has gone before, what will come today, are at once and always entwined. The past has done its part, never to be erased. The present is always a composite.

In months and years gone by, perhaps we anticipated the days with dread. Fearing the worst, often we found it; we generally find that which we fear. But we can influence the mosaic our experiences create. The contribution today makes to our mosaic can lighten its shade, can heighten its contrast, and can make bold its design.

What faces us today? A job we enjoy or one we fear? Growing pains of our children? Loneliness? How we move through the minutes, the hours, influences our perception of future minutes and hours.

No moment is inviolate. Every moment is part of the whole that we are creating. We are artists. We create our present from influences of our past.

I will go forth today; I will anticipate goodness. I will create the kind of moments that will add beauty to my mosaic.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
Follow your dream . .
if you stumble, don't stop
and lose sight of your goal,
press on to the top.
For only on top
Can we see the whole view . . .
--Amanda Bradley

Today, we can, each of us, look back on our lives and get a glimmering of why something happened and how it fit into the larger mosaic of our lives. And this will continue to be true for us. We have stumbled. We will stumble. And we learn about ourselves, about what makes us stumble and about the methods of picking ourselves up.

Life is a process, a learning process that needs those stumbles to increase our awareness of the steps we need to take to find our dream at the top. None of us could realize the part our stumbling played in the past. But now we see. When we fall, we need to trust that, as before, our falls are "up," not down.

I will see the whole view in time. I see part of it daily. My mosaic is right and good and needs my stumbles.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991

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Thursday, December 25, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
What we suffer, what we endure . . is done by us, as individuals, in private.
--Louise Bogan

Empathy we can give. Empathy we can find, and it comforts. But our pain, the depth of it, can never be wholly shared, fully understood, actually realized by anyone other than ourselves. Alone, each of us comes to terms with our grief, our despair, even our guilt.

Knowing that we are not alone in what we suffer, makes the difficulties each of us must face easier. We haven't been singled out, of that we're certain. Remembering that our challenges offer us the lessons we need in the school of life makes them more acceptable. In time, as our recovery progresses, we'll even look eagerly to our challenges as the real exciting opportunities for which we've been created.

Suffering prompts the changes necessary for spiritual growth. It pushes us like no other experience to God--for understanding, for relief, for unwavering security. It's not easy to look upon suffering as a gift. And we need not fully understand it; however, in time, its value in our lives will become clear.

I will not be wary of the challenges today. I will celebrate their part of my growth.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Friday, December 26, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
It is only framed in space that beauty blooms; only in space are events, and objects and people unique and significant and therefore beautiful.
--Anne Morrow Lindbergh

We must look closely; focus intently on the subjects of our attention. Within these subjects is the explanation of life's mysteries. To observe anything closely means we must pull it aside with our minds and fondle it, perhaps. We must let the richness of the object, the person, and the event, wash over us and savor its memory.

Many of us only now are able to look around ourselves slowly, with care, noting the detail, the brilliant color of life. Each day is an opportunity to observe and absorb the beauty while it blooms.

I will look for beauty today, in myself, and in a friend, and I will find it.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Saturday, December 27, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have wholehearted enthusiasm.
--Hannah Senesh

Life offers little, if we sit passively in the midst of activity. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. For our lives' purposes we need enthusiasm; we need enthusiasm in order to greet the day expectantly. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action.

We must respond to our possibilities if we are to mature emotionally and recover spiritually. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. We begin to change once we start living up to our commitment to the program, its possibilities and our purpose, and it's that change, many days over, that moves us beyond the negative, passive outlook of days gone by.

The program has offered us something to believe in. We are no longer the women we were. So much more have we become! Each day's worth of recovery carries us closer to fulfilling our purpose in life.

I believe in recovery, my own; when I believe in success, I'll find it. There is magic in believing.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

The human heart dares not stay away too long from that which hurt it most. There is a return journey to anguish that few of us are released from making.
--Lillian Smith

As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, painful criticisms, both past and present draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become "entirely ready." And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed.

The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that's good and healthy.

We must be prepared for all of life to change. Our overriding self-pity has so tarnished our perceptions that we may never have sensed all the good that life daily offers. How often we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full!

A new set of experiences awaits me today. And I can perceive them unfettered by the memories of the painful past. Self-pity need not cage me, today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Monday, December 29, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships.
--Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

Relationships with other people are necessary to escape loneliness; however, relationships do not guarantee freedom from pain. Nurturing a meaningful relationship with another human being takes patience, even when we don't have any. It takes tolerance, even if we don't feel it. It takes selflessness, at those very moments our own ego is crying for attention.

Yet, we need relationships with others; they inspire us. We learn who we are and who we can become through relationships. They precipitate our accomplishments. Our creativity is encouraged by them, and so is our emotional and spiritual development.

We can look around us, attentively. We can feel blessed, even when it's a negative situation. Every situation is capable of inspiring a positive step forward. Every situation is meant for our good.

There's risk in human relationships, and it's often accompanied by pain. But I am guaranteed growth, and I will find the happiness I seek. I will reach out to someone today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
And what a delight it is to make friends with someone you have despised!
--Colette

What does it mean to say we "despise" someone? Usually it means that we have invested a lot of energy in negative feelings; it means that we have let ourselves care deeply about someone. We would never say we "despised" someone who wasn't important to us. Why have we chosen to let negative feelings occupy so much of our hearts?

Sometimes, in the past, that negative energy has become almost an obsession, consuming our time, gnawing at our self-esteem. But in recovery there comes a moment of lightning change; a moment of release from the bonds of obsession. The other person is, after all, just another person--a seeker, like ourselves. And, since we cared enough to devote our time and energies to disliking her, she is probably someone who would be rewarding to know.

Recovery has given us the opportunity to turn over many negative feelings, to discover that "friend" and "enemy" can be two sides of the same person.

Today, I will look into my heart and see whether I am clinging to obsessive concerns with other people. I will resolve to let them go.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

In the process of growing to spiritual maturity, we all go through many adolescent stages.
--Miki L. Bowen

Progress, not perfection, is our goal in this recovery program. And many days we'll be haunted by the feeling that we've regressed. We will display old behavior. We will feel unable to change, to go on, to make gains once again. But these periods will pass, and soon progress will be evident again.

We must be wary of our need for perfection. It's this need that makes normal progress seem not good enough. And yet, that's all we're capable of - and all we'll ever need to be capable of. The program, its Steps and the promises offered, provide the tools we have lacked, yet need to use in order to accept ourselves wholly and imperfectly.

Daily attention to our spiritual side will foster the spiritual and emotional health we long for. Prayer and meditation, combined with honest inventory-taking, can show us the personal progress needed, the personal progress made. However, we will falter on occasion. We will neglect our program some days. But it won't ever be beyond our reach. And each day is a new beginning.

Today is before me, and I can make progress. I will begin with a quiet prayer and a moment of meditation.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991.