why am i so hard on myself?????

[johnclmt]

It was only about 3 years ago that I was sitting in a prison cell with no hope and totally lost. I would daydream about a simple life filled with good things but deep inside I knew it was not possible for me.

Now sober 2.5 years and all those things I dreamed about have materialized yet somehow I feel like I am not enough.

Anyone know what I am feeling?

[dalin]

Yes,we all do.
Alot of my recovery is changing those screwed up tapes stuck in our heads.
Keep coming!
We get to know each other on this sight.In time we can change these things.

[barbie25]

Yes and No. If that makes sense. I have my days where i feel like it deserve more because i have made it this far. But then i remind myself:5: i only have what i got because of patience, acceptance and my hp.:195: and if i keep reminding myself of that things will come as they should and the way they should. I hope that makes sense . Peace:42:

[admin]

Seems like we are always the hardest on ourselves. As long as I am alive and breathing, I will continue to change and grow throughout my life. As long as I stay sober and clean - everything is possible. We aren't done when we work through the steps. It is then that we live them.

[johnclmt]

thank you guys for caring enough to respond to my words, I think that I am going to like being a part of this cr deal.

Bluidkiti, hope you feel better soon.

johnclmt

[Montauktammy]

I know for me I am hard on my self cause it is a part of my disease, I kind of got look at it like I have 2 parts to me my recovery and my disease this is just me) I will look at all the things I am doing wrong and not what I am doing right! my disease is the part of me that wants to keep me down keep me away from joy so it beats me down by only looking at the bad, if I stay there long enough then I will say F*** it why don't I just get High any thing is better than being mesrable, my dis-ease wants me mesrable/ my recovery wants me happy joyous and free to love and honor my higher power and others. I choose my recovery Just for Today:29::D

[kaistevens]

I been going through some of that lately myself. My self-esteem is the hardest thing for me to work on and the going is SOOOO slow.

One day at work, I was out on my smoke break, and all of the sudden I thought, "I am more screwed up than I was when I got here!!"

That thought just really kept bothering me. Next smoke break, I caught myself and backed up. I took a look at where I was four years ago. WOW. What a difference. I have come a VERY UNBELIEVABLY LONG WAY.

Then it occured to me, that four years ago, I wasn't looking at MYSELF all that much. So, when I started getting frustrated about not being where I want to be, I stop and take a look at how far I have come. I was just more messed up back then, than I could see at the time.

It's a journey, and I have to remind myself of that. And, today, I am right where I am supposed to be. And if I ever ARRIVE, well, then it's over, so I try to just keep moving.

Keep coming back. Love ya later.