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03-11-2008, 10:55 AM
Schoolyard Bullies In The Church?
Zechariah 13:6 NIV
If someone asks him, 'What are these wounds on your body?' he will answer, 'The wounds I was given at the house of my friends'
2 Cor 6:3 NIV
We put no stumbling block in any one's path
=======
Having been made the target of many a schoolyard bully in my childhood, due to my disability; I became an expert on their tactics and did my best to stay clear of the traps they laid before me. However, it was hard to stay clear of the traps they laid 'behind' me; pushes from behind, sometimes placing an obstacle behind me that would trip me up when I took a step backward to avoid an obstacle in front of me. When I would inevitably fall, their taunts would echo in my ears long after my bruised and battered knees healed, "Klutz can't even walk and chew gum at the same time, retard..." These troubled young men knew how to push my emotional buttons as well and would poke and prod, pressing against my resolve not cave in, until I would try to lash back in anger or run away in tears. "Wacko! Wimp, Baby!" While their methods were crude, they were definitely effective in getting their message across. The weak, the social outcast - those that were different and those that didn't fit were not welcome in their world. If left unchecked, these young ruffians would perhaps refine their bullying, using threats, shunning, rumour mongering and other psychological techniques during their teen years.
I stumbled across one of the most infamous bullies of my youth when he was in his late twenties. It did not surprise me that he was working as an aggressive collections worker for a major vehicle-leasing firm. From my little niche in as a temporary filing clerk, I could see he was still a force to be reckoned with. Not only had he developed into a strapping, muscle bound man but his voice inflections and vocabulary were finely honed to give the maximum intimidation allowable by law. He held his local branch record for collected debts.
Because of my childhood experiences, perhaps I am more aware of the subtleties of adult bullying. Unfortunately, I have come to the sad conclusion that some of these tactics infiltrate the Church at large. The old push and shove technique is one such method that I have spotted often. The behaviour, appearance, status or even the ministry of another believer threatens or irritates an individual. Perhaps the individual targeted is more popular or has a ministry that is more visible and recognized by others. Perhaps that person has spiritual giftings that the other covets. Sometimes the target is socially inept and has the embarrassing habit of asking questions that are not easily answered. Maybe the target is on the fringes of society, a recovering addict or one-step off the streets. Perhaps their physical appearance doesn't quite mesh with the status quo of the church or their way of expressing themselves creatively challenges the status quo. Perhaps their manner of prayer and worship is radically different. Whatever the reason, they are perceived as a threat and must be dealt with. Unlike the more direct, in-your-face approach of the schoolyard bully, we, as Christians are subtle in our sinning against our brothers. Through subtle rejection, shunning and passive aggressive attacks that are often cloaked behind 'civil niceties', we push our brothers and sisters toward the breaking point. Through open stares, turned down noses and whispering gossip, we place them at their wits end. By pointing out their flaws and minimizing their strengths, we drive them to frustration and hopelessness. By flaunting our own freedom in areas in which they still stumble and when we do not walk with them into their own freedom, we bring on despair of ever being set free. When they stumble and fall under the immense pressure of their fellow Christians constantly being on their backs, we smugly assert to anyone who might be in listening range "Backslider, that's what he is, his faith wasn't really that strong, good thing God exposed them for what they really were..."
I believe that there are many prodigals who have left the Church because of such bullying. Although they are personally responsible for their own sinful reactions to the persecution they received, I believe that the Lord holds those who placed the stumbling blocks before them accountable as well.
What is the antidote, how can we prevent this tragedy from repeating itself? The bible is clear:
Romans 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Father God, we repent of our sinful ways, we repent of holding onto our secret sins while focusing on the weaknesses of others. Father, in your mercy, bring back to us those who we have pushed away, allow us to enter into reconciliation. Bring back to our midst the prodigals that we helped create. Lord, if you would, would you be so kind as to allow us to be healing agents in their lives? Father, guard our tongues and our hearts, when we are fearful of others because they are different than us, hold us by the hand as our Daddy God, lead us to them, remind us that they are your children. Gently remind us that we have nothing to fear when we are led by your great hand. We trust you. In Jesus' Name.
Until next week,
2008 Katherine Walden
Zechariah 13:6 NIV
If someone asks him, 'What are these wounds on your body?' he will answer, 'The wounds I was given at the house of my friends'
2 Cor 6:3 NIV
We put no stumbling block in any one's path
=======
Having been made the target of many a schoolyard bully in my childhood, due to my disability; I became an expert on their tactics and did my best to stay clear of the traps they laid before me. However, it was hard to stay clear of the traps they laid 'behind' me; pushes from behind, sometimes placing an obstacle behind me that would trip me up when I took a step backward to avoid an obstacle in front of me. When I would inevitably fall, their taunts would echo in my ears long after my bruised and battered knees healed, "Klutz can't even walk and chew gum at the same time, retard..." These troubled young men knew how to push my emotional buttons as well and would poke and prod, pressing against my resolve not cave in, until I would try to lash back in anger or run away in tears. "Wacko! Wimp, Baby!" While their methods were crude, they were definitely effective in getting their message across. The weak, the social outcast - those that were different and those that didn't fit were not welcome in their world. If left unchecked, these young ruffians would perhaps refine their bullying, using threats, shunning, rumour mongering and other psychological techniques during their teen years.
I stumbled across one of the most infamous bullies of my youth when he was in his late twenties. It did not surprise me that he was working as an aggressive collections worker for a major vehicle-leasing firm. From my little niche in as a temporary filing clerk, I could see he was still a force to be reckoned with. Not only had he developed into a strapping, muscle bound man but his voice inflections and vocabulary were finely honed to give the maximum intimidation allowable by law. He held his local branch record for collected debts.
Because of my childhood experiences, perhaps I am more aware of the subtleties of adult bullying. Unfortunately, I have come to the sad conclusion that some of these tactics infiltrate the Church at large. The old push and shove technique is one such method that I have spotted often. The behaviour, appearance, status or even the ministry of another believer threatens or irritates an individual. Perhaps the individual targeted is more popular or has a ministry that is more visible and recognized by others. Perhaps that person has spiritual giftings that the other covets. Sometimes the target is socially inept and has the embarrassing habit of asking questions that are not easily answered. Maybe the target is on the fringes of society, a recovering addict or one-step off the streets. Perhaps their physical appearance doesn't quite mesh with the status quo of the church or their way of expressing themselves creatively challenges the status quo. Perhaps their manner of prayer and worship is radically different. Whatever the reason, they are perceived as a threat and must be dealt with. Unlike the more direct, in-your-face approach of the schoolyard bully, we, as Christians are subtle in our sinning against our brothers. Through subtle rejection, shunning and passive aggressive attacks that are often cloaked behind 'civil niceties', we push our brothers and sisters toward the breaking point. Through open stares, turned down noses and whispering gossip, we place them at their wits end. By pointing out their flaws and minimizing their strengths, we drive them to frustration and hopelessness. By flaunting our own freedom in areas in which they still stumble and when we do not walk with them into their own freedom, we bring on despair of ever being set free. When they stumble and fall under the immense pressure of their fellow Christians constantly being on their backs, we smugly assert to anyone who might be in listening range "Backslider, that's what he is, his faith wasn't really that strong, good thing God exposed them for what they really were..."
I believe that there are many prodigals who have left the Church because of such bullying. Although they are personally responsible for their own sinful reactions to the persecution they received, I believe that the Lord holds those who placed the stumbling blocks before them accountable as well.
What is the antidote, how can we prevent this tragedy from repeating itself? The bible is clear:
Romans 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Father God, we repent of our sinful ways, we repent of holding onto our secret sins while focusing on the weaknesses of others. Father, in your mercy, bring back to us those who we have pushed away, allow us to enter into reconciliation. Bring back to our midst the prodigals that we helped create. Lord, if you would, would you be so kind as to allow us to be healing agents in their lives? Father, guard our tongues and our hearts, when we are fearful of others because they are different than us, hold us by the hand as our Daddy God, lead us to them, remind us that they are your children. Gently remind us that we have nothing to fear when we are led by your great hand. We trust you. In Jesus' Name.
Until next week,
2008 Katherine Walden