Romance in a Bottle

[bdt00buckshot]

I find myself not having a conscious contact with my higher power at all, but rather I check in with him in the morning and basically thank him at night for fluttering throughout the day. The way that I believe we all bungee jump our third step..

To the point... I find that on weekends and vacation that even this stops... so i have no contact until I again result back to the age old "god save my ..." when the pain gets great enough... I know some quickly and some slow... but I feel that this slip of conscious contact will lead to my demise...

while on a trip home with my girlfriend I found myself more and more Romancing that First drink... the seduction of that "social norm" that we have learned though our life of drinking... by the end of the weekend I realized that i was about two days away from god, walking back down that dark path... and that "fantasy of control" started to slip into my mind...

I would love to hear how others do little things to keep god in their day and how i can better keep my racing mind within his race track. I know that this will take time. but i at least need to take instant action..

it is when our :mad: that progress is most made.

[bentnotbusted]

For me conscious contact has come rather hard. The chapter to the Agnostic in the big book and the Story "acceptance was the key" was pivotal in my understanding this concept. I was 9 months to a year sober and read the big big a lot, at lmeetings and at home.
When a lady at a meeting read the third step Prayer, with tears in her eyes and a very gratefull heart.

It was at that moment I realized I had only ever read that prayer... and never prayed it.

It is not helpfull to me to, NOT think about drinking, I need to replace that thought with something else.

It is no good for someone to tell me not to think of the Staue of Liberty, I must think about the Golden Gate Bridge.

In this way,when I think of drinking or a drink I must turn, my thoughts to God and I must call someone.

You know I never seem to remember the crap that comes, after a drink, jail strife, bitterness,and resentment etc. but only the false euphoria of that first drink..

Things I do through the day.
1.Realize I'm not the center of the universe, pray.
2. Accept people as they are, not as I would have them.
3.Acknowledge Gods presence, in the world around me.
4. Acceptance
5. Acceptance
6. Acceptance

my .02

[bdt00buckshot]

It is only when i am ready and willing to accept what god wants to teach me that i will become teachable... shortly after making this post i received a email from my sponsor saying that he would be giving his lead later that night... i went and heard exactly what i needed and we talked for an hour after the meeting... we pointed some very important things out about where i was mouthing the words but not making the action... the first came with my morning prayer i had memorized the third and seventh step prayers and was working on memorizing the eleventh.. but when saying these prayers some days i would be sincere and others i found that i was just saying them because that is what i believed i had to do.. and if any one can see a fake it is definitely god... so for part of my ever progressing morning routine i have tried to pray for things that redly come to my mind after centering and slowing my thoughts. this really worked today and i hope that it will continue... i then have started to try and "acknowledge" gods presence though out the day... because i am not that close to god and am only starting to have that "god sense" that the big book talks about.. i find that if i use daily meditation first in the morning to direct my thoughts then though out the day to keep them focused.

i would love to continue this discussion and am very interested about how others make god a part of every moment of their lives..

[sioux]

For me it has been training and practice.

I used to write paws on a piece of paper at my desk to remind me to pause when aggitated, step back, ask for direction and guidance from my Creator. I have gone so far as to say things like, "may I get back to you on this or that" has been of real value for me, but I really must follow through with that promise.

Sometimes I will take a ritual. I have been known to light a candle to remind me of the people in my life that I care for and offer prayers.

I have read meditation books to direct my thinking. I carry one in my bag, and actually get it out at times...lol.

Writing has been a good source of prayer and meditation for me. To think upon, ponder, sort out thoughts.

There are times when I have had the luxury of taking one hour of doing nothing...no sound from the tv, no distractions. I get more like 15 minutes these days, just trying to let thoughts go as they come and redirect my mind to just this very moment of breathing, doing nothing. That is one of the best things I have can do for me.

I didn't do the 11th step for years. I could not meditate. A wise person once told me that no one can meditate, but we could make the conditions right for meditation to occur. What a break that was to hear.

And the 12 x 12 talks about embracing the fruits of the spirit. I try to find joy in mundane tasks that never end, working on perseverance, endurance, happiness...those are the attitudes I try to take to build character. I spent a lifetime in the opposite...misery, short sightedness, grudges...

Like I said, new habits require practice for me. And exploration requires an open mind to find what works. I will say this, I know a guy that lives for routine. I admire that, but I have incorporated some different things over the years that bring some understanding of the word Serenity, and have allowed me to know some peace in my life.

[bentnotbusted]

tried to pray for things that redly come to my mind after centering and slowing my thoughts. this really worked today and i hope that it will continue... i then have started to try and "acknowledge" gods

Yeah, it's a blessing when it works. It doesn't always work though, and that's a blessing too.

It tells me some thing in my life is not as it should be. When I honestly search for the problem, in my case it is usually a resentment, some person,place or thing, that is not as I would have it.

When I pray for the willingness, and make amends if required, that peace comes back.

If I keep those resentments, they turn into the first drink.
My .02

easy does it.
live and let live.

[bentnotbusted]

Yes, let's continue this discussion. :smile:

[bentnotbusted]

Sioux
right on!

A couple of my favorites quotes from people in the program.
Betty,26 years sober.

You'll do better when you Know better.
This too shall pass.

Early on when she would say this, with such serenity and concviction.
It would stop my mind from the worry, and obsession that I wasn't getting it.

Richard my sponsor, died sober.

Keep It Simple.. Stupid.

That's the way he would say it, with that little pause in there, look me right in the eye, that look said ( slow down take it easy, I love you)

WOW. I cannot say enough about what people in AA have given me.

I didn't have to do anything, other than show up with an open mind.
I didn't get the God thing right away, but I saw it in these People that weren't drinking, I needed what they had and payed attenton to what they gave me.