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04-13-2008, 04:25 PM
4/13 Wisdom for Today
There were literally thousands of reasons I drank and used drugs. I used because it was a good day, and I used because it was a bad day. I drank and used because I was happy, and I drank and used because I was miserable. I spent hour after hour trying to figure out why I could not drink or use like other people. Many of us seek help and advice from a variety of professionals. Some of us spend time in hospitals or in jails only to find out this offers only a temporary reprieve. Even when I thought I found out why I drank and used the way I did, it did not stop me from continuing my obsession.
Eventually I had to realize I had gone too far. I was over the edge and falling fast. I was drinking like an alcoholic. I was using drugs like an addict. Even this did not stop me. It gave me more reasons to use. I was destroying my life, and I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t trying to destroy myself, but I couldn’t stop it either. My will to stop the insanity was defeated. In utter powerlessness I had to admit to myself that my way did not work. Figuring out the answers did not work. Understanding the reasons did not work. If I ever was going to stop, I had to find an answer that was not my answer. Have I stopped the obsession with trying my way?
Meditations for the Heart
Where would I find this answer if it was not going to be mine? To whom could I turn? “Ask, and you shall receive.” This line was where I found the answers to my obsession. I knew I could not stop the insanity on my own. What I didn’t know until I came into the program was that I could do almost anything if I asked for God’s help. Early in recovery I kept trying to convince myself that I was a useless person who could never do anything right. The program changed all that. I found that I could indeed accomplish much with the help of God, as I understood Him. If I called on His strength and wisdom, it was there waiting for me. All I had to do was accept this gift. All I had to do was follow, and I would be lead to a new place. I would lose the obsession. I would learn a new way of living my life. Have I accepted the gift of His grace?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today I pray for acceptance of the wonderful gift of Your grace in my life. Let me willingly follow You where I am being led. Help me to let go of my old ways of thinking and behaving and learn a new way of living my life. Help me to be rid of my obsession completely.
Amen.
4/14 Wisdom for Today
There are those times when anger just seems to bubble up in life. It really doesn't matter what the cause of the anger is, what is important is how we react to the anger. Anger can be a very strong emotion that can play havoc in our lives. It is perhaps the emotion that we are most likely to lose control of, as if we really had any control to begin with. Each of us has our own unique set of clues that we are angry. Perhaps it is when you clench your jaw tighter, or when your breathing becomes deeper. We know that anger is lurking in our lives when these clues tell us it is close by.
Anger can jump up out of nowhere, and it can silently sneak up on us. Still, when this happens, we have choices. We have a choice not to run to the bottle. We have a choice not to run to drugs. We have a choice about how we behave when anger occurs. The program gives us these choices and many more. When anger comes up for me, I know that my thinking gets screwed up quickly; and so I know I must use the steps and ask my Higher Power for help. I need to stay aware of my character defects coming into play. I need to take slow breaths and seek shelter from the storm. I call my sponsor and discuss the matter. I pray. I use the steps, and I find healthier ways to respond to life. Do I know what I need to do when I become angry?
Meditations for the Heart
Painful as early recovery can be, one day each of us finds out the reasons for this pain. It is important for me to be open to learning in my pain, because I know these can indeed be valuable life lessons. Pain is not just about being tested or about loss; it can also be a time of instruction and also preparation for the rest of our journey in recovery. When I am in the middle of a painful situation, I don't like it. It is uncomfortable, and it hurts. Today I have learned much from my painful times. It brings me into much closer contact with my Higher Power. It can teach faith in the struggle. It can bring new insights into how our own behavior is at least in part responsible for the pain. Pain also can strengthen and toughen the spirit. Pain also can be a strong way of telling us that what we are seeking is not good for us. Pain can be a very good teacher. Am I open to learning the lessons that pain can teach? Do I know that all pain eventually subsides and goes away?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today I pray that if I am tested, I also will be willing to grow through the process. Help me to remain focused on my responsibilities when I am angry or in pain. Lift me up so that I might know that You are with me. Let me trust You with the outcome.
Amen.
There were literally thousands of reasons I drank and used drugs. I used because it was a good day, and I used because it was a bad day. I drank and used because I was happy, and I drank and used because I was miserable. I spent hour after hour trying to figure out why I could not drink or use like other people. Many of us seek help and advice from a variety of professionals. Some of us spend time in hospitals or in jails only to find out this offers only a temporary reprieve. Even when I thought I found out why I drank and used the way I did, it did not stop me from continuing my obsession.
Eventually I had to realize I had gone too far. I was over the edge and falling fast. I was drinking like an alcoholic. I was using drugs like an addict. Even this did not stop me. It gave me more reasons to use. I was destroying my life, and I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t trying to destroy myself, but I couldn’t stop it either. My will to stop the insanity was defeated. In utter powerlessness I had to admit to myself that my way did not work. Figuring out the answers did not work. Understanding the reasons did not work. If I ever was going to stop, I had to find an answer that was not my answer. Have I stopped the obsession with trying my way?
Meditations for the Heart
Where would I find this answer if it was not going to be mine? To whom could I turn? “Ask, and you shall receive.” This line was where I found the answers to my obsession. I knew I could not stop the insanity on my own. What I didn’t know until I came into the program was that I could do almost anything if I asked for God’s help. Early in recovery I kept trying to convince myself that I was a useless person who could never do anything right. The program changed all that. I found that I could indeed accomplish much with the help of God, as I understood Him. If I called on His strength and wisdom, it was there waiting for me. All I had to do was accept this gift. All I had to do was follow, and I would be lead to a new place. I would lose the obsession. I would learn a new way of living my life. Have I accepted the gift of His grace?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today I pray for acceptance of the wonderful gift of Your grace in my life. Let me willingly follow You where I am being led. Help me to let go of my old ways of thinking and behaving and learn a new way of living my life. Help me to be rid of my obsession completely.
Amen.
4/14 Wisdom for Today
There are those times when anger just seems to bubble up in life. It really doesn't matter what the cause of the anger is, what is important is how we react to the anger. Anger can be a very strong emotion that can play havoc in our lives. It is perhaps the emotion that we are most likely to lose control of, as if we really had any control to begin with. Each of us has our own unique set of clues that we are angry. Perhaps it is when you clench your jaw tighter, or when your breathing becomes deeper. We know that anger is lurking in our lives when these clues tell us it is close by.
Anger can jump up out of nowhere, and it can silently sneak up on us. Still, when this happens, we have choices. We have a choice not to run to the bottle. We have a choice not to run to drugs. We have a choice about how we behave when anger occurs. The program gives us these choices and many more. When anger comes up for me, I know that my thinking gets screwed up quickly; and so I know I must use the steps and ask my Higher Power for help. I need to stay aware of my character defects coming into play. I need to take slow breaths and seek shelter from the storm. I call my sponsor and discuss the matter. I pray. I use the steps, and I find healthier ways to respond to life. Do I know what I need to do when I become angry?
Meditations for the Heart
Painful as early recovery can be, one day each of us finds out the reasons for this pain. It is important for me to be open to learning in my pain, because I know these can indeed be valuable life lessons. Pain is not just about being tested or about loss; it can also be a time of instruction and also preparation for the rest of our journey in recovery. When I am in the middle of a painful situation, I don't like it. It is uncomfortable, and it hurts. Today I have learned much from my painful times. It brings me into much closer contact with my Higher Power. It can teach faith in the struggle. It can bring new insights into how our own behavior is at least in part responsible for the pain. Pain also can strengthen and toughen the spirit. Pain also can be a strong way of telling us that what we are seeking is not good for us. Pain can be a very good teacher. Am I open to learning the lessons that pain can teach? Do I know that all pain eventually subsides and goes away?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today I pray that if I am tested, I also will be willing to grow through the process. Help me to remain focused on my responsibilities when I am angry or in pain. Lift me up so that I might know that You are with me. Let me trust You with the outcome.
Amen.