cen616
04-15-2008, 04:57 PM
I have just found this forum and am very glad to be here. A little about me:
12 months ago I reconnected with a childhood acquaintance and a romance started. He was in recovery (alcohol/drug addiction) when we met. He was just coming out of a relapse--which he had after 2 years clean and sober--and was working the program. He moved to my city after we met, since he'd lost nearly everything (again) during the relapse and had no real reason to stay there. We live together now, and his 12-year-old daughter lives with us.
He worked the program the first three or four months, but then began slacking on meetings. Then, he began losing contact with old AA friends in his hometown, then talking about wanting to drink but not use, then drinking, then using. The using has only been going on for a couple of weeks now--and he keeps making it real easy to "catch him" and keeps saying he knows he needs to get back in a program, to a therapist, or seek help in some other way. He is risking his job, has indirectly stolen from me (spending his pay rather than turning it over to pay his half of the bills), and--of course--the emotional turmoil for everyone in the household is a given.
But, enough about him :) That info's only to give you the basic background.
Before meeting him, I was a stranger to the disease of addiction and the process of recovery. I can't say I knew what I was signing up for, but I'm doing my best to deal with all the issues out of love for him and his daughter. I looked into Al-Anon, per his recommendation, right after we got together, but did not see quite how it "applied" (remember he was in recovery, not drinking or using, and I had no experience with active Aism). Still, I read the books, went to a few meetings, talked to a few folks online who had long-term program experience. And, a lot of it helped since, as most of you know, that A personality is there whether or not there's an active addiction.
But, with the relapse, it's much more apparent I need support. I have trouble getting to face-to-face meetings with my schedule, but I'm trying to get to at least one per week. I think the online stuff helps a great deal as it allows me to benefit from others' ESH--and maybe give some of my own--more frequently.
Unfortunately, I did this once before (an online forum) and that particular group ended up being a very negative influence on me. I won't go into detail, but I'll just say that I was looking for strength and hope and there was very little there (doom and gloom abounded, tho). From what I've seen, so far, on this board, it seems it's a better fit for me.
So, that's it, really. I look forward to "talking" with you all...
12 months ago I reconnected with a childhood acquaintance and a romance started. He was in recovery (alcohol/drug addiction) when we met. He was just coming out of a relapse--which he had after 2 years clean and sober--and was working the program. He moved to my city after we met, since he'd lost nearly everything (again) during the relapse and had no real reason to stay there. We live together now, and his 12-year-old daughter lives with us.
He worked the program the first three or four months, but then began slacking on meetings. Then, he began losing contact with old AA friends in his hometown, then talking about wanting to drink but not use, then drinking, then using. The using has only been going on for a couple of weeks now--and he keeps making it real easy to "catch him" and keeps saying he knows he needs to get back in a program, to a therapist, or seek help in some other way. He is risking his job, has indirectly stolen from me (spending his pay rather than turning it over to pay his half of the bills), and--of course--the emotional turmoil for everyone in the household is a given.
But, enough about him :) That info's only to give you the basic background.
Before meeting him, I was a stranger to the disease of addiction and the process of recovery. I can't say I knew what I was signing up for, but I'm doing my best to deal with all the issues out of love for him and his daughter. I looked into Al-Anon, per his recommendation, right after we got together, but did not see quite how it "applied" (remember he was in recovery, not drinking or using, and I had no experience with active Aism). Still, I read the books, went to a few meetings, talked to a few folks online who had long-term program experience. And, a lot of it helped since, as most of you know, that A personality is there whether or not there's an active addiction.
But, with the relapse, it's much more apparent I need support. I have trouble getting to face-to-face meetings with my schedule, but I'm trying to get to at least one per week. I think the online stuff helps a great deal as it allows me to benefit from others' ESH--and maybe give some of my own--more frequently.
Unfortunately, I did this once before (an online forum) and that particular group ended up being a very negative influence on me. I won't go into detail, but I'll just say that I was looking for strength and hope and there was very little there (doom and gloom abounded, tho). From what I've seen, so far, on this board, it seems it's a better fit for me.
So, that's it, really. I look forward to "talking" with you all...