Charlie G
04-16-2008, 01:01 AM
Didn't know if there was a God and wouldn't like Him if there was;
He took my child & laughed at me. He did it just because.
When my daughter died, I was no more, I couldn't take the loss;
I shouted out, "The hell with God!" I'd show Him who's boss.
So I shot up, I snorted, I swallowed & drank;
Deposited more into me, than I ever did a bank.
This went on, for some time, it rolled into the years;
'I was still the boss', I mumbled in my beer.
'Why'd this happen? What'd I do? As the tears came down like rain;
I shouted out to someone's God, though I knew it was in vain.
But I saw people suffer loss, and continue on their way;
After getting up, from their knees, where they had bent to pray.
Something started whispering, I thought it was my soul;
Could there really be a God, and could He fill this hole?
Many nights, I'd beg for help, while curled up on the floor;
I knew there was an answer, but I had shut that door.
I'd slammed it shut, it must be stuck, I said inside my head;
The thought of being locked outside, filled my soul with dread.
This is where I'm going to be, He'll never let me in;
What I've done, the way I'd lived, He won't forgive my sin.
Then suddenly, something broke, and light came shining through;
I still did not understand, but now I had a clue.
Jesus died, for my sins, nailed onto a cross;
He suffered then, He suffers now, He feels my pain and loss.
And because He died, upon the cross, and He did it just for me;
The pain, the guilt, it was released, by believing, I was free.
It used to be, Get a car! Get a house! Everything was me;
Till I met God, cleaned my house, & helped another human being.
I found out, the paint's still wet, on my paint by number dreams;
Nothing has to stay the same, don't have to leave it as it seems.
Instead of a dream, I had lived, with a paint by number view;
What it was? That had to be. I never really knew.
But now I know, I understand, now that I am free;
The door was never slammed & shut, that could never be.
Because God was always knocking, ready to help me win the war;
And all that was required of me? Believe, and open door.
He took my child & laughed at me. He did it just because.
When my daughter died, I was no more, I couldn't take the loss;
I shouted out, "The hell with God!" I'd show Him who's boss.
So I shot up, I snorted, I swallowed & drank;
Deposited more into me, than I ever did a bank.
This went on, for some time, it rolled into the years;
'I was still the boss', I mumbled in my beer.
'Why'd this happen? What'd I do? As the tears came down like rain;
I shouted out to someone's God, though I knew it was in vain.
But I saw people suffer loss, and continue on their way;
After getting up, from their knees, where they had bent to pray.
Something started whispering, I thought it was my soul;
Could there really be a God, and could He fill this hole?
Many nights, I'd beg for help, while curled up on the floor;
I knew there was an answer, but I had shut that door.
I'd slammed it shut, it must be stuck, I said inside my head;
The thought of being locked outside, filled my soul with dread.
This is where I'm going to be, He'll never let me in;
What I've done, the way I'd lived, He won't forgive my sin.
Then suddenly, something broke, and light came shining through;
I still did not understand, but now I had a clue.
Jesus died, for my sins, nailed onto a cross;
He suffered then, He suffers now, He feels my pain and loss.
And because He died, upon the cross, and He did it just for me;
The pain, the guilt, it was released, by believing, I was free.
It used to be, Get a car! Get a house! Everything was me;
Till I met God, cleaned my house, & helped another human being.
I found out, the paint's still wet, on my paint by number dreams;
Nothing has to stay the same, don't have to leave it as it seems.
Instead of a dream, I had lived, with a paint by number view;
What it was? That had to be. I never really knew.
But now I know, I understand, now that I am free;
The door was never slammed & shut, that could never be.
Because God was always knocking, ready to help me win the war;
And all that was required of me? Believe, and open door.