BABY STEPS ~

[janbear]

BABY STEPS ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.

Helen Keller

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:
From as far back as I can remember, I
believed that, in order to be worthy or loved,
I had to achieve great things. It didn't matter
what it was but I set out to be the best at
whatever I did, hoping that would make me
feel better. Whether it was academic or one
of the many diets or diet clubs I tried, it was
the same story, and failure was totally
unacceptable. Delayed gratification was
definitely not part of my vocabulary, and so
things had to be done or achieved in record
time. If I wanted something done, it had to
be done today, if not yesterday. Everything
I did was done compulsively. I was, as one
person in a meeting described, a "human
doing," not a "human being".

Of course the things I could never really
achieve were permanent weight loss and
the serenity that comes with recovery.
These seemed to elude me when I first
came into the program, mainly because I
expected to do it perfectly and in a very
short time. After all, I had lost weight before,
and quickly too. I had to realize that recovery
is not a race, that this is a journey, not a
destination. I don't have to do it all in one day,
nor do I have to be the best at it. All I need to
do is to take baby steps, one day at a time,
and I will recover as God wills me to do. I just
need to put one foot in front of the other and
do what is before me. Recovery is cumulative
and I build on it, day by day.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I do the footwork and put my trust in my Higher
Power, believing that, as I do what I need to do
for today, God's healing power will come to me
in the form of recovery.