~ GOD IS ~

[janbear]

~ GOD IS ~

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Open your eyes and the whole world is full of God.

Jakob Bohme

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When I was a child, my family never talked
about God. I never knew the light of God,
never felt His love or power, or recognized
His presence in my life. When things were
rough, I could only see the darkness.
When I was lonely, I didn't know He was
with me all the time. When I was weak
or scared, I thought I had to overcome
and be strong, and not be afraid. I didn't
feel His presence with me, or believe
that He was watching over me. Then,
for twenty years I was married to a
religious man who did talk about God.
I tried so hard to believe as he did, but
his words soon lost their meaning. The
abuse began to overshadow the hope
that things would change, and the
belief that God would make everything
okay, if only I believed like my husband.
For years I have struggled with my faith,
trying to believe in a God that was
willing to light my way, love me, and
protect me ... not just in the good times,
but in the painful times.

When I first came into recovery, I was
still struggling, but I became "willing to
believe" that God cared about me. I
started watching for signs that He was
there, ready to light my path when I
could see only the darkness, ready to
enfold me in His arms when I felt
unloveable, and ready to protect me
when I was scared. I became willing to
recognize His presence in my day-to
-day life.

Now that I am willing, I can find God's
love everywhere ... in a friendly smile,
in the kind words of a friend, in the
beauty of a flower, and in a child's eyes.
Sometimes, when life gets rough, I have
to look a little harder, but it's there. I
only have to remain open and willing to
see it and accept it. Wherever I am,
God is there with me, ready to love and
protect me.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I will be willing to see God's presence in my
life, and know that wherever I am, God is. I
will let go, and let God be there.

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