Keeping Fit

[admin]

Keeping Fit

Grandpa Melvin Cranston was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"I will tell you the secret of my success," he happily cackled. "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

And, Grandpa Melvin continued, "Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

[admin]

Jet Fuel

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"

Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.

In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"

Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"

Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."

"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."

"What's that?"

"Have you...err... broken wind yet?"

"No."

"Well, don't, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!"