Charlie G
09-07-2008, 02:31 AM
I went back to FADAA.
Back to the Hyatt Grand Cypress in Orlando;
A hotel with a atrium in the lobby, Parrots on perches among the trees, glass walled elevators that went incredibly fast,
Yet came to a stop as softly as lover’s whisper in your ear,
And coffee that’s served with sugar – rock candy like sugar – on a stick; that dissolves as you stir your café. Very cool.
It’s not a hotel I would usually go to;
Could usually go to,
But this was my 2nd time.
One year ago I came here for the Florida Alcohol & Drug Abuse Association’ annual conference with my new magazine;
The premiere issue of It’s all in the JOURNEY.
FADAA was the first conference I’d ever been to, so it holds a special place in my heart.
It must,
Because that’s what I kept telling myself as I drove through Tropical Storm Fay to get here from Miami,
As it moved up Florida’s coast right beside me.
Over me.
Passing big rigs in a tropical storm, with their wind gusts bouncing your rental Hyundai like a tennis ball at a Dali Wimbledon tournament, rain coming down with 40+ mph winds giving them an extra kick against your windshield to make seeing the road even more…even more…
It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure comes to mind.
Now, while sitting here in my booth, I think back on just how much God had a hand in getting me into this seat.
Before I got clean & sober I ran a strip club for my dad in Miami Beach for 8 years,
After getting out of prison;
Until even he couldn’t take me in my addiction anymore.
Then I played tournament poker for the next year,
And was pretty good at it.
With a handful of pain pills & a ½ dozen beers in me, you couldn’t tell if I was bluffing or not;
You couldn’t tell if I was awake or not!
When I finally reached my bottom;
I sold my house and checked into treatment. Then,
Got a sponsor & worked the steps.
When I finished, I went back to work at the club part time,
But God had other ideas.
One Saturday night my Dad said something to me, and I quit.
Walking out of there at 2 am into the hot, South Beach night,
I couldn’t understand why I had just did what I did;
Or any idea what I was going to do.
But God did.
As I started my car to go home, I turned on the radio.
It was Bon Jovi, and they blared:
Oh, you’re half way there.. Oh, Oh, living on a prayer!
I laughed until I cried.
It was too funny.
The next day I got a call from a lady who ran a detox center;
The same one I’d gone through 6 times in 8 years.
I’d applied for a job there after getting out of treatment, but never expected to get it.
Now they were calling me the day after I quit working in the club.
There was a girl at the detox center named Debi.
She suffered from chronic back pain and took a lot of pain pills.
One night, as I sat outside on the back patio and talked with the patients about the steps & getting a sponsor to fill that emptiness inside of us, she laughed.
“I don’t need any of that stuff. I’m perfectly fine at home with my babies (Her babies were her two dogs). We have a beautiful home on the water in Ft. Lauderdale (Debi’s husband was a yacht broker who built & sold yachts). I’m just here because the pain pills aren’t working as well anymore for my back pain. As soon as I get my tolerance down, I’m going home. I like my life.”
I walked right up to her as she sat on one of the couches facing the river/canal.
“You are so full of ****, Debi,” I told her, “ You are so lonely and empty inside that you want to scream! I know, I’ve been there.”
“ On that couch as a matter of fact.”
“Bull****!” She yelled at me, and then went to her room.
She was discharged a few days later.
One night a fellow tech had a lap top he wanted to sell.
I bought it, figuring I could play poker online while the patients slept.
But God had His own ideas.
Somehow I came across blogging.
I’d never heard of it.
I read some of the blogs there and decided to write about my life.
I wrote about loss, was there a God, meeting God, addiction, recovery, doubts and hope.
People started reading them & commenting on them;
Telling me they felt something from my words;
They felt hope from my stories.
Honestly?
I’d never been told, or felt, that anything I ever did was good,
And hearing that my writing touched something in people,
Touched something in me.
And I wrote more.
Never realizing that God was lifting the curtain to give me glimpses of His plan for me as He nudged , prodded & sometimes PUSHED me to where I needed to be,
Then helping me put these words together in a way that made it possible for people see to it, too.
See Him too.
Something good coming from something so tragic.
One day a lady called me and told me she was starting a new recovery magazine;
Not a newspaper, but a real honest to goodness magazine about recovery.
I told her I thought it was a great idea, I’d never seen one.
“Well, Charlie I’m glad you like the idea because I’ve been reading your blog, and I’d like you to be the editor of it!
I agreed. I’d write my stories and we’d give them to a printer to make into a magazine.
Haha haha haha haha haha!!
Whew!
Hehe.
Not.
She wanted it to be a poem/poetry magazine, but I saw more.
I realized that there was no magazine for people in recovery, and no concise way for people looking for help, to find it. Finding treatment was usually hitting a keyword on the internet. And that could send you anywhere, to any state.
"Why not make a real magazine on recovery, with a detox & treatment directory?" I asked her.
She had no idea how to implement the idea.
Actually, she had no idea how to even start,
Starting a magazine.
Neither did I, but I had inspiration.
A promise to Joy to live a life that would make her proud,
And now a belief, a knowing, that if it was God's will,
It would happen.
On the day I was going to meet a printer to see what had to be done to make the magazine & get some prices,
I got a phone call.
It was Debi.
“Hi Charlie! I was just sitting around the house, and had nothing to do, when I suddenly remembered you telling us how you go to those AA meeting things all the time. And, since I had nothing to do….you know, because I was just hanging out here with…”
“Nothing to do?” I finished the sentence for her.
“YES! Because I have nothing to do today, yes. I thought I’d go with you to one. Just to have something to do, you know?”
I knew.
I told her I would be glad to take her, but she’d have to wait until I got back; I was going to visit a printer to see about prices for printing the first issue of JOURNEY magazine.
“Can I go with you?” She asked.
She knew about the magazine.
Everybody at the detox center, clients & staff, knew about the recovery magazine I was trying to start.
Besides taking vitals every 4 hours, and doing a head count every 2 hours, I usually had the night to myself; the clients were medicated & usually slept through, and I would type away on my computer.
Bringing out from my hands what was inside of my head.
“Sure, if you want to.” I told Debi. I knew that loneliness.
So I went to pick her up in my one eyed Hyundai.
When I got to her house, I stopped. This place was huge!
I knocked, and Debi came to the door & invited me in.
She was carrying a little dog in a baby carrier o the front of her chest.
Like a backpack,
On backwards.
Seriously.
This was her one of her “babies” – a blind Chihuahua.
Now I have dogs;
Lady, a Doberman/greyhound mix, Teddy Bear, a black sheep dog/bearded collie, and Flop, a..a…
One night my ex-wife & I talking about getting Teddy Bear fixed.
She must have heard us.
Teddy Bear jumped the fence around our yard that night & partied with I don’t know what, to get her son, Flop.
A wire haired, Dalmatian - spotted, hound dog type of dog.
But still a dog.
I told Debi her Chihuahua was a “House Mouse” not a dog.
She didn’t laugh.
We went to the printer’s.
Debi was really good; asking questions, taking notes. She was into it!
Afterwards, she told me she wanted to help me get the first issue printed.
We went to visit her husband a few days later.
Linc has a suite of offices on the bay, overlooking a flotilla of docked schooners, trawlers and sailboats . After introductions and a tour, we sat down and talked.
Linc told me he hadn’t seen Debi so excited about anything in a long time. “Listen, Charlie,” He said, “The boat I am building is in China and won’t be here for another month. Jonny, my graphics guy is on salary and not doing anything. Why don’t you let him help you with the first issue? He’s worked on magazines before.”
I told him I’d think about it.
(5 second pause here)
“OK!” I said.
And just like that I had someone to teach me how to put a magazine together.
Boy, did I need it.
Storyboards.
Layouts.
J-peg, gif, tif & PDF pictures formats for ads (never heard of them before!).
Finding clients for ads.
Contracts.
Graphics.
Getting the content in before deadline.
Editing the content to fit the allotted space.
Orphans & widows,
Mailing lists.
Distribution.
And on, and on, and on.
Jonny taught me so much… I had no idea.
I had thought I’d write my stories and just give them to a printer to make into a magazine.
Haha haha haha!!
Whew!
Hehe.
That always makes me laugh!
And while he taught,
I learned.
The first issue came out.
The new boat came in.
And I went on to the next issue,
Now knowing,
Just a bit,
How to start a magazine.
Now it’s been one year.
We’ve grown from a 10,000 copies, 28 page magazine that was printed every two months and distributed to every AA/NA clubhouse, detox center & treatment facility in Florida,
To a 18,000 copies, 36 page magazine that is printed monthly and goes to every clubhouse, detox center & treatment facility in Florida and California!
And Hazelden has made JOURNEY magazine a permanent part of their addiction library!
Looking back, I had no idea,
That I had no idea.
But God did.
Peace
PS- It’s official! I am now the owner of a sober house for women.
We closed on Joy’s House yesterday!
I can’t wait to see what stories God has planned for me with this.
__________________
Back to the Hyatt Grand Cypress in Orlando;
A hotel with a atrium in the lobby, Parrots on perches among the trees, glass walled elevators that went incredibly fast,
Yet came to a stop as softly as lover’s whisper in your ear,
And coffee that’s served with sugar – rock candy like sugar – on a stick; that dissolves as you stir your café. Very cool.
It’s not a hotel I would usually go to;
Could usually go to,
But this was my 2nd time.
One year ago I came here for the Florida Alcohol & Drug Abuse Association’ annual conference with my new magazine;
The premiere issue of It’s all in the JOURNEY.
FADAA was the first conference I’d ever been to, so it holds a special place in my heart.
It must,
Because that’s what I kept telling myself as I drove through Tropical Storm Fay to get here from Miami,
As it moved up Florida’s coast right beside me.
Over me.
Passing big rigs in a tropical storm, with their wind gusts bouncing your rental Hyundai like a tennis ball at a Dali Wimbledon tournament, rain coming down with 40+ mph winds giving them an extra kick against your windshield to make seeing the road even more…even more…
It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure comes to mind.
Now, while sitting here in my booth, I think back on just how much God had a hand in getting me into this seat.
Before I got clean & sober I ran a strip club for my dad in Miami Beach for 8 years,
After getting out of prison;
Until even he couldn’t take me in my addiction anymore.
Then I played tournament poker for the next year,
And was pretty good at it.
With a handful of pain pills & a ½ dozen beers in me, you couldn’t tell if I was bluffing or not;
You couldn’t tell if I was awake or not!
When I finally reached my bottom;
I sold my house and checked into treatment. Then,
Got a sponsor & worked the steps.
When I finished, I went back to work at the club part time,
But God had other ideas.
One Saturday night my Dad said something to me, and I quit.
Walking out of there at 2 am into the hot, South Beach night,
I couldn’t understand why I had just did what I did;
Or any idea what I was going to do.
But God did.
As I started my car to go home, I turned on the radio.
It was Bon Jovi, and they blared:
Oh, you’re half way there.. Oh, Oh, living on a prayer!
I laughed until I cried.
It was too funny.
The next day I got a call from a lady who ran a detox center;
The same one I’d gone through 6 times in 8 years.
I’d applied for a job there after getting out of treatment, but never expected to get it.
Now they were calling me the day after I quit working in the club.
There was a girl at the detox center named Debi.
She suffered from chronic back pain and took a lot of pain pills.
One night, as I sat outside on the back patio and talked with the patients about the steps & getting a sponsor to fill that emptiness inside of us, she laughed.
“I don’t need any of that stuff. I’m perfectly fine at home with my babies (Her babies were her two dogs). We have a beautiful home on the water in Ft. Lauderdale (Debi’s husband was a yacht broker who built & sold yachts). I’m just here because the pain pills aren’t working as well anymore for my back pain. As soon as I get my tolerance down, I’m going home. I like my life.”
I walked right up to her as she sat on one of the couches facing the river/canal.
“You are so full of ****, Debi,” I told her, “ You are so lonely and empty inside that you want to scream! I know, I’ve been there.”
“ On that couch as a matter of fact.”
“Bull****!” She yelled at me, and then went to her room.
She was discharged a few days later.
One night a fellow tech had a lap top he wanted to sell.
I bought it, figuring I could play poker online while the patients slept.
But God had His own ideas.
Somehow I came across blogging.
I’d never heard of it.
I read some of the blogs there and decided to write about my life.
I wrote about loss, was there a God, meeting God, addiction, recovery, doubts and hope.
People started reading them & commenting on them;
Telling me they felt something from my words;
They felt hope from my stories.
Honestly?
I’d never been told, or felt, that anything I ever did was good,
And hearing that my writing touched something in people,
Touched something in me.
And I wrote more.
Never realizing that God was lifting the curtain to give me glimpses of His plan for me as He nudged , prodded & sometimes PUSHED me to where I needed to be,
Then helping me put these words together in a way that made it possible for people see to it, too.
See Him too.
Something good coming from something so tragic.
One day a lady called me and told me she was starting a new recovery magazine;
Not a newspaper, but a real honest to goodness magazine about recovery.
I told her I thought it was a great idea, I’d never seen one.
“Well, Charlie I’m glad you like the idea because I’ve been reading your blog, and I’d like you to be the editor of it!
I agreed. I’d write my stories and we’d give them to a printer to make into a magazine.
Haha haha haha haha haha!!
Whew!
Hehe.
Not.
She wanted it to be a poem/poetry magazine, but I saw more.
I realized that there was no magazine for people in recovery, and no concise way for people looking for help, to find it. Finding treatment was usually hitting a keyword on the internet. And that could send you anywhere, to any state.
"Why not make a real magazine on recovery, with a detox & treatment directory?" I asked her.
She had no idea how to implement the idea.
Actually, she had no idea how to even start,
Starting a magazine.
Neither did I, but I had inspiration.
A promise to Joy to live a life that would make her proud,
And now a belief, a knowing, that if it was God's will,
It would happen.
On the day I was going to meet a printer to see what had to be done to make the magazine & get some prices,
I got a phone call.
It was Debi.
“Hi Charlie! I was just sitting around the house, and had nothing to do, when I suddenly remembered you telling us how you go to those AA meeting things all the time. And, since I had nothing to do….you know, because I was just hanging out here with…”
“Nothing to do?” I finished the sentence for her.
“YES! Because I have nothing to do today, yes. I thought I’d go with you to one. Just to have something to do, you know?”
I knew.
I told her I would be glad to take her, but she’d have to wait until I got back; I was going to visit a printer to see about prices for printing the first issue of JOURNEY magazine.
“Can I go with you?” She asked.
She knew about the magazine.
Everybody at the detox center, clients & staff, knew about the recovery magazine I was trying to start.
Besides taking vitals every 4 hours, and doing a head count every 2 hours, I usually had the night to myself; the clients were medicated & usually slept through, and I would type away on my computer.
Bringing out from my hands what was inside of my head.
“Sure, if you want to.” I told Debi. I knew that loneliness.
So I went to pick her up in my one eyed Hyundai.
When I got to her house, I stopped. This place was huge!
I knocked, and Debi came to the door & invited me in.
She was carrying a little dog in a baby carrier o the front of her chest.
Like a backpack,
On backwards.
Seriously.
This was her one of her “babies” – a blind Chihuahua.
Now I have dogs;
Lady, a Doberman/greyhound mix, Teddy Bear, a black sheep dog/bearded collie, and Flop, a..a…
One night my ex-wife & I talking about getting Teddy Bear fixed.
She must have heard us.
Teddy Bear jumped the fence around our yard that night & partied with I don’t know what, to get her son, Flop.
A wire haired, Dalmatian - spotted, hound dog type of dog.
But still a dog.
I told Debi her Chihuahua was a “House Mouse” not a dog.
She didn’t laugh.
We went to the printer’s.
Debi was really good; asking questions, taking notes. She was into it!
Afterwards, she told me she wanted to help me get the first issue printed.
We went to visit her husband a few days later.
Linc has a suite of offices on the bay, overlooking a flotilla of docked schooners, trawlers and sailboats . After introductions and a tour, we sat down and talked.
Linc told me he hadn’t seen Debi so excited about anything in a long time. “Listen, Charlie,” He said, “The boat I am building is in China and won’t be here for another month. Jonny, my graphics guy is on salary and not doing anything. Why don’t you let him help you with the first issue? He’s worked on magazines before.”
I told him I’d think about it.
(5 second pause here)
“OK!” I said.
And just like that I had someone to teach me how to put a magazine together.
Boy, did I need it.
Storyboards.
Layouts.
J-peg, gif, tif & PDF pictures formats for ads (never heard of them before!).
Finding clients for ads.
Contracts.
Graphics.
Getting the content in before deadline.
Editing the content to fit the allotted space.
Orphans & widows,
Mailing lists.
Distribution.
And on, and on, and on.
Jonny taught me so much… I had no idea.
I had thought I’d write my stories and just give them to a printer to make into a magazine.
Haha haha haha!!
Whew!
Hehe.
That always makes me laugh!
And while he taught,
I learned.
The first issue came out.
The new boat came in.
And I went on to the next issue,
Now knowing,
Just a bit,
How to start a magazine.
Now it’s been one year.
We’ve grown from a 10,000 copies, 28 page magazine that was printed every two months and distributed to every AA/NA clubhouse, detox center & treatment facility in Florida,
To a 18,000 copies, 36 page magazine that is printed monthly and goes to every clubhouse, detox center & treatment facility in Florida and California!
And Hazelden has made JOURNEY magazine a permanent part of their addiction library!
Looking back, I had no idea,
That I had no idea.
But God did.
Peace
PS- It’s official! I am now the owner of a sober house for women.
We closed on Joy’s House yesterday!
I can’t wait to see what stories God has planned for me with this.
__________________