Bronx850
09-24-2008, 12:49 PM
REGRETS DOING THE RIGHT THING
The fact that recovery makes us think is what makes it so enjoyable.
Now I find myself writing to get an opinion on a matter that has been very hard for me. I have been married for the last 23 years to a woman whom has been hard to get along with, at best. We were married because she became pregnant. I thought I was doing the right thing. Later, I found out she had stopped taking birth control pills I always wonder… so she could get me to marry her.
Looking back, it was not the right thing to do. I have stayed married and we have had a second child. And again I thought I was doing the right thing by staying around to be the father.
I removed my wedding ring 5 years ago and have been barely getting along with her while I work a lot at work away from the house to avoid the never-ending arguments. I don't hate her or wish anything bad for her, but I have reached the point where I can no longer stand to be around her. I have concluded that staying married for the sake of the kids and trying to be a two-parent family was the wrong thing to do. Both kids are adults know (21&23) and children of alcoholic parents, both of our kids have been affected by our behavior and action (alcoholism & drugs). How the future for them will be, only God knows.
I know the ensuing divorce will be an emotional set back. We both recognize that our marriage has been a train wreck in slow motion for 23 years?
For 23 years, I drank my feeling and shown little emotion toward my family, for 23 years I cheated and lie.
I feel my marriage was based on fraud, and a marriage with fraud as its foundation is like a house built on quicksand. As unhappy as I have been, my wife appears to have been even unhappier. She knows our marriage, was not base on love and she has been taking her anger out on herself and me ever since.
I have learned in recovery that positive changes need to be made with in and around my life in order to stay sober. So on September 1st. I move out of an environment that I felt was affecting my recovery and 12th step process. By the grace of God I have been sober and drug free for 20 months.
On the other side within the environment I was living in, alcohol and drugs still play a role within the family, and I just could not let it affect me. I pray everyday for my family and hope the best for them.:195:
Did I do the right thing?
The fact that recovery makes us think is what makes it so enjoyable. Ed.
The fact that recovery makes us think is what makes it so enjoyable.
Now I find myself writing to get an opinion on a matter that has been very hard for me. I have been married for the last 23 years to a woman whom has been hard to get along with, at best. We were married because she became pregnant. I thought I was doing the right thing. Later, I found out she had stopped taking birth control pills I always wonder… so she could get me to marry her.
Looking back, it was not the right thing to do. I have stayed married and we have had a second child. And again I thought I was doing the right thing by staying around to be the father.
I removed my wedding ring 5 years ago and have been barely getting along with her while I work a lot at work away from the house to avoid the never-ending arguments. I don't hate her or wish anything bad for her, but I have reached the point where I can no longer stand to be around her. I have concluded that staying married for the sake of the kids and trying to be a two-parent family was the wrong thing to do. Both kids are adults know (21&23) and children of alcoholic parents, both of our kids have been affected by our behavior and action (alcoholism & drugs). How the future for them will be, only God knows.
I know the ensuing divorce will be an emotional set back. We both recognize that our marriage has been a train wreck in slow motion for 23 years?
For 23 years, I drank my feeling and shown little emotion toward my family, for 23 years I cheated and lie.
I feel my marriage was based on fraud, and a marriage with fraud as its foundation is like a house built on quicksand. As unhappy as I have been, my wife appears to have been even unhappier. She knows our marriage, was not base on love and she has been taking her anger out on herself and me ever since.
I have learned in recovery that positive changes need to be made with in and around my life in order to stay sober. So on September 1st. I move out of an environment that I felt was affecting my recovery and 12th step process. By the grace of God I have been sober and drug free for 20 months.
On the other side within the environment I was living in, alcohol and drugs still play a role within the family, and I just could not let it affect me. I pray everyday for my family and hope the best for them.:195:
Did I do the right thing?
The fact that recovery makes us think is what makes it so enjoyable. Ed.