just need to throw this out!!!!!!

[4given]

hi I`m new to this forum Wow!! its so big so much stuff I`ve been on some smaller ones so this one is really new to me !!!! I`m also fairly new to computers & the whole online thing, so its kinda intimidating on here trail&error is my training :smile:

my name is cessie I`m a drunk& a druggie I`ve been sober for over 4 yrs I got sober in A.A. alcohol was my main solution to me!! but I`ve done lots of drugs, at the end of my addictions it was mostly booze&crack anyway I really just need to share this Like I said I go to A.A. so I need to share this with addicts

I was walking my dog about 4 days ago ,and now that Im a productive member of society :D I pick up after her well I picked up something else in the grass along with (OOPs) much to my surprise there I was with a hand full of (in a plastic bag of course :lol:) dog buisness and a crack pipe with a lot of residue in it :eek: :eek: I gotta tell ya that really caught me off guard I think I literaly felt my fingers tingling in a sick feeling kinda way I was floored for a couple of seconds it bothered me alot at what was in my hand I quickly tied up the bag and we whent fast as I could to one ofthe little doggy trash cans that are all around our complex ,I was kinda shook up over this I guess I still am not like I want to use but I cant really explain it, later when I came home from work I walked by the same trash can it hasnt been emptied yet so I know its still there it turned my stomach,
using is the farthest thing from my mind I know that GOD has taken the obsession to drink and drug away from me I have a strong relationship with HIM a strong Faith & a program of recovery so why does this still bother me???? :162:

[francie21805]

Hello 4given :17: I'm an alcoholic and I believe I might know what your talking about. I've been watching tv, seen an ad or drinking sceen and my disease will make me think I can smell the drug of my choice. It does shake me up a bit, but I've come to believe that, this is a reminder of the first Step. Today, it takes me back to the day I cried out to God for help.

If I can do today what I did yesterday, and maybe a little more, I'll stand a better chance of remember my bottom and thus staying sober.

Thank you for sharing, I needed that! :42:

[yukonm]

Hi Cessie,
I believe that we are never healed from the disease of addiction. It's just a reminder that I must always keep my tools sharpened to deal with situations that arise. We must keep working a strong program because this disease is so powerful. Thank you for sharing.

[shydawg]

Hi 4given, I can soo relate to what you are going through ..I went though the same thing recently . when a old friend i havnt seen since in recovery much to9ld me about how he was using my old drug of choice daily & how its now available right down the the road from work .( he gooes & gets it at lunch time from work0 anyhow . this really shook me up also . bothered me badly for about a week or 2 . affected my sleep . was . in a way obsessing about it .. but I think it a way it was good for me .. cause I learned a lot that week.. to to tell others when im feeling anxious .when someones asks how im doing . I need to really express what Im feeling .. & not just saying "okay " when I'm really feeling .scared ..anxious . & tell them why...I learned that my disease is just as real today as it was the last day i used & i better always becareful because it can reach up & grab a hold of me when I least expect it . most important thing was i learned was that I gotta remember keep that IN WORKING the STEPS I have to keep that FAITH that a higher power will guide us . will help us stay clean . this program , our fellowship does work if we really do want it to see i'm still new at this way of life . ive been using for so long so . not using is still new to me But I'm learning ..there are moments where i do forget sometimes & feel alil overwhelmed then i remember that I'm not alone anymore ..
.. I have faith that as long as i continue to do what I have been doing .FAITH ..but alil bit of never forgetting what disease can do . & its still just out there waitting on me is a good thig to remember .. thanks for sharing 4given you helped me today ..keep coming back & shairing with us..

[shydawg]

hey I needed to hear this also , others , my sponsor, have the feelings at times .. the hear things or see things that bring on those thoughts or feelings .. even after yrs of recovery .. most important thing is that you did the right thing . threw it away & talked about it .. way to go !!!!. maybe walk a diff. way for the next day or 2 .. go to a mtg . 2 nite maybe or call your sponsor & tell them what you told us ... but .. thought you should know that others have had those same feelings . so your not alone there ...You're doing a great job !!! . most important thing is continue doing what your doing .. trust the process. & .. just for today as long as we dont use everything is a success ... glad youre a here ;-)

[4given]

hey yall, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me I guess I was in shock that( like it was said ) my disease reared its ugly head for a minute I mean of all places to go why did the dog go there??? (the scent probably gave her flashbacks and turned her stomach too :smile: :lol:)

I relize that I must be on top of my program I have been resting on my laurels lately wich is prob. why I was so freaked!!!
I believe everything happens for a reason all in Divine order I believe it was a wake up call from GOD to stop resting on my laurels and start puttin some Quality back in my program :5: this program really does work but I have to work at it I have to be diligent in my recovery too keep it, I thank God for reminding me of that and you all too

thanks for helping keep me sober & clean we may not have it all together but together :42: we have it all !!!!!!

[janbear]

I understand what its like to have my disease try to work on me. I had that happen just recently, so this thread is good for me as well. I use the tools that have been given to me. When that occurred the other day i spoke to the closest person-my hubby, went to a meeting, prayed, and called my sponsor. It takes the power out of it when we share whats going on with another.
The Basic Text talks about, "pain shared is pain lessened", i believe that.
Thanks 4given