admin
10-03-2008, 05:37 PM
Wisdom for Today
Last night I had a dream. It was not a very pleasant dream because it took me back to my drinking and using. Today, I know that I am not alone and that there have been many others just like me who have had these dreams. Even years into recovery I still find that on some level I still think like an addict and alcoholic. I don't know why I would expect it to be any different. For years and years I poured alcohol into my gut. I spent day after day thinking and behaving like an addict. With all this conditioning, I doubt my mind will ever be free of addict thoughts. They come to the surface from time to time still. Sometimes in dreams and other times in conscious thoughts, the addict and alcoholic inside me still come out to play.
The program has taught me that this is normal, but more importantly it has taught me to think clean and sober thoughts. I need these thoughts to counteract the unproductive and destructive thoughts that the addict inside me still has. I have learned over time that my clean and sober thoughts need to be much stronger and more convincing than the addicted thoughts I still get. Yes, it has gotten easier over time. In fact my clean and sober thoughts have become a very powerful weapon in my recovery. These healthy and wise thoughts keep me motivated to keep what I have gained and seek out what is still to come from learning to live again - clean and sober. Do I have healthy thinking to combat the addicted voice still inside?
Meditations for the Heart
When I hear people at meetings talking, I listen for that voice of addiction that still talks. If I hear that voice, I find myself knowing that I too have the same voice inside. I used to feel fearful when I would hear this voice. No longer, for I find a greater need to be responsible and speak up. I needed people to point out my crazy thinking. Now I feel a need to give back. So I speak up and expose the voice for what it is. I do not know where the courage to do this initially came from, but I know that being responsible and helping others has helped me greatly. Now I can look back and recognize that the courage was a gift from my Higher Power. Do I pray for courage to help others, just as I was once helped?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day I do not know where my thoughts will take me. Let me stand strong in my clean and sober thinking. Give me courage to speak out strongly against my own addictive thinking. Let me also be responsible and speak out when I hear addiction speaking in others.
Amen
-----
NA Just For Today
Thirty-Day Wonder
"When we first begin to enjoy relief from our addiction, we run the risk of assuming control of our lives again. We forget the agony and pain that we have known."
Basic Text p.48
Many of us have been "thirty-day wonders." We were desperate and dying when we showed up at our first NA meeting. We identified with the addicts we met there and the message they shared. With their support, we were finally able to stop using and catch a free breath. For the first time in a long, long time, we felt at home. Overnight, our lives were transformed; we walked, talked, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed Narcotics Anonymous.
Then, Narcotics Anonymous lost its novelty. Meetings that had been a thrill became monotonous. Our wonderful NA friends became bores; their uplifting NA talk, drivel. When our former friends called, inviting us back for some of the old fun, we kissed our recovery goodbye.
Sooner or later, we made our way back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Nothing had changed out there, we'd discovered - not us, not our friends, not the drugs, not anything. If anything, it had gotten worse than ever. True, NA meetings may not be a laugh riot, and our NA friends may not be spiritual giants. But there's a power in the meetings, a common bond among the members, a life to the program that we cant do without. Today, our recovery is more than just a fad - it's a way of life. We're going to practice living our program like our lives depend on it, because they do.
Just for today: I'm no "thirty-day wonder." The NA way is my way of life, and I'm here for the duration.
pg. 290
-----
October 4 - Daily Feast
We cry because we feel unhappy and unloved. We cry because we care. We cry because we hurt, but more than that, we cry because we are unwise. These are the tears that make more tears. Enough di ga sa wo s di! Enough tears! Most of the time we try to have as few tears as possible, but they are as much a part of us as laughter. They can do a cleaning job that nothing else can touch. but like everything else, it can be overdone. Emotional people are usually caring. And it either makes life worthwhile or keeps it in such upheaval that nothing can be positive. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. We have to remember that enough is enough and try to balance our approach to living.
~ I heard....that I should be like a man without a country. I shed tears. ~
LITTLE WOUND
"A Cherokee Feast of Days" by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
Elder's Meditation of the Day - October 4
"Search for the truth. Indian values teach the holistic approach to the use of technology for mankind's good."
--Al Qoyawayma, HOPI
The Great Spirit had given us certain values to live by. If we learn to think in harmony with these values such as respect, love, patience, tolerance, commitment, trust, etc., we cannot get off track. No matter what we do, we will always be in harmony. For example, if we are respectful, then we will respect the earth, our children, our women, our men and ourselves. Indian values help us walk under the guidance of the Great Spirit.
My Creator, today I search for the truth, Your truth. Please let me see it.
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
THINK ON THESE THINGS
by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
Faith doesn't demand possible things -- it demands the impossible. When we have a promise in hand we have to look fear in the face and say this thing is going to happen.
Say to the mountain that needs to be moved to be gone. Whether it is disease that someone said is incurable, or a bank account the has no shape but bad, speak to it. But never forget to rejoice and to thank the Power for hearing our words.
When we do these things we are walking into the land of the impossible. Such fun to see things and circumstances conforming to our words of faith. Such delight to know we are not lost and we are not tied down by impossibility. We CAN be healed, we can be prospered and we can be free -- when we say it and believe it.
-----
Daily Relationship Reading
How successful do I consider our relationship right now? If I were to give it a grade, would it be an "A", a "C+", or an "F", or somewhere in between?
When I look at how things are going with my SO, and also look at how adequate I feel in the quality of love I'm giving, I may start feeling unhappy with both. I feel shortchanged, as if things should be better than they are.
If I were building a home with my SO, however, and doing all the work myself, would my results be as good as I'd like them in that endeavor? Likely not. The less experience I have with all the large and small details that go into constructing a solid, beautiful home, the more likely I am to make mistakes.
I may be able to contract out many of the jobs that go into building a home, but I don't have that option in building our relationship. What I can do is accept that my present difficulties may be a natural part of my inexperience. In doing so, I can see the advantages of learning from others' experiences, perhaps by talking to more experienced couples, studying books on relationships, attending relationship workshops, and putting in the same kind of effort I need to learn any new skills well.
Just for Today
When things in our relationship aren't as good as I'd like them to be, I'll remember that we both still have much to learn about how to "build" a good relationship.
Today I'll adopt the same attitude I use when learning any other important new skills, by searching out opportunities to expand my knowledge and understanding.
Most skilled tradesmen were apprentices at first.
-----
You are reading from the book Food for Thought.
Friendship
Through this program, we learn that we have choices. Not only can we choose what we will eat and what we will do, but also we can choose our friends. As we become honest, unaddicted people, we are able to relate to each other on a level of mutuality and admiration rather than out of dependency and fear. We gain the self-confidence to choose those with whom we enjoy spending time and sharing, rather than slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us.
Friends in OA have a special bond, since we share a common problem and a common solution. By putting principles before personalities, we avoid dependency and childish demands. Though we love and support each other, we do not cling together, since we are each dependent on a Higher Power. Our friends give us the gift of themselves, which shows us who we are.
Thank You for friendship.
-----
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
How easy the breath that kills a flame,
How hard to kindle that light again.
Cold words kill and kind words kindle,
By words withheld a dream may dwindle.
--Joan Walsh Anglund
How we treat the people we live with affects the happiness of our family. Just as a breath can blow out a flame, a mean remark can cast a shadow across a brother or sister's heart. People of all ages have left dreams behind because no one encouraged them. They are like candles snuffed out.
On the other hand, if we see a friend or family member feeling good about something they have done, we can learn to be happy for them. If we notice their excitement and encourage them with kind and sincere words, it will help their candle burn brighter. Sharing the happiness of others will make our own candles burn brighter, and it always feels good when we receive kind words ourselves.
In what ways can I bring light and warmth with my words today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
You should not have your own idea when you listen to someone.... To have nothing in your mind is naturalness. Then you will understand what he says. --Shunryu Suzuki
A man who is mistrustful and self-centered has difficulty listening to someone else. Perhaps a woman we are close to wants to be understood by us. But we do not hear her on her own terms because we are so intensely involved with our own shame. So we react to our feelings of guilt rather than really hearing what she wants to say about her experience. Or we may be so worried about who has control that we fail to receive the information we are being given. Then we respond with "Yes, but..."
True learning comes - like true intimacy - when we have an open mind. As we detach ourselves, separate from our own ego, we hear the other person better and grow more intimate.
May I learn to set aside my own self-centeredness. Today, I will grow more if I set my ego aside when others are talking to me.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Ambiguity means admitting more than one response to a situation and allowing yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may want something and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful and ugly. --Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them, need not create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time, but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting Through the Discomfort
Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way. --Beyond Codependency
Our goal in recovery is to make us feel comfortable, peaceful, and content. Happy. We want to be at peace with our environment and ourselves. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.
I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation. When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
Sometimes the process hurts. We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side. Help me, God; be open to feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy. While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by my friends, my Higher Power, the Universe, and myself.
I choose to be in places and situations and with people where I feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good and I trust that my heart will tell me where to go. --Ruth Fishel
God help me to stay sober and clean today!
Last night I had a dream. It was not a very pleasant dream because it took me back to my drinking and using. Today, I know that I am not alone and that there have been many others just like me who have had these dreams. Even years into recovery I still find that on some level I still think like an addict and alcoholic. I don't know why I would expect it to be any different. For years and years I poured alcohol into my gut. I spent day after day thinking and behaving like an addict. With all this conditioning, I doubt my mind will ever be free of addict thoughts. They come to the surface from time to time still. Sometimes in dreams and other times in conscious thoughts, the addict and alcoholic inside me still come out to play.
The program has taught me that this is normal, but more importantly it has taught me to think clean and sober thoughts. I need these thoughts to counteract the unproductive and destructive thoughts that the addict inside me still has. I have learned over time that my clean and sober thoughts need to be much stronger and more convincing than the addicted thoughts I still get. Yes, it has gotten easier over time. In fact my clean and sober thoughts have become a very powerful weapon in my recovery. These healthy and wise thoughts keep me motivated to keep what I have gained and seek out what is still to come from learning to live again - clean and sober. Do I have healthy thinking to combat the addicted voice still inside?
Meditations for the Heart
When I hear people at meetings talking, I listen for that voice of addiction that still talks. If I hear that voice, I find myself knowing that I too have the same voice inside. I used to feel fearful when I would hear this voice. No longer, for I find a greater need to be responsible and speak up. I needed people to point out my crazy thinking. Now I feel a need to give back. So I speak up and expose the voice for what it is. I do not know where the courage to do this initially came from, but I know that being responsible and helping others has helped me greatly. Now I can look back and recognize that the courage was a gift from my Higher Power. Do I pray for courage to help others, just as I was once helped?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day I do not know where my thoughts will take me. Let me stand strong in my clean and sober thinking. Give me courage to speak out strongly against my own addictive thinking. Let me also be responsible and speak out when I hear addiction speaking in others.
Amen
-----
NA Just For Today
Thirty-Day Wonder
"When we first begin to enjoy relief from our addiction, we run the risk of assuming control of our lives again. We forget the agony and pain that we have known."
Basic Text p.48
Many of us have been "thirty-day wonders." We were desperate and dying when we showed up at our first NA meeting. We identified with the addicts we met there and the message they shared. With their support, we were finally able to stop using and catch a free breath. For the first time in a long, long time, we felt at home. Overnight, our lives were transformed; we walked, talked, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed Narcotics Anonymous.
Then, Narcotics Anonymous lost its novelty. Meetings that had been a thrill became monotonous. Our wonderful NA friends became bores; their uplifting NA talk, drivel. When our former friends called, inviting us back for some of the old fun, we kissed our recovery goodbye.
Sooner or later, we made our way back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Nothing had changed out there, we'd discovered - not us, not our friends, not the drugs, not anything. If anything, it had gotten worse than ever. True, NA meetings may not be a laugh riot, and our NA friends may not be spiritual giants. But there's a power in the meetings, a common bond among the members, a life to the program that we cant do without. Today, our recovery is more than just a fad - it's a way of life. We're going to practice living our program like our lives depend on it, because they do.
Just for today: I'm no "thirty-day wonder." The NA way is my way of life, and I'm here for the duration.
pg. 290
-----
October 4 - Daily Feast
We cry because we feel unhappy and unloved. We cry because we care. We cry because we hurt, but more than that, we cry because we are unwise. These are the tears that make more tears. Enough di ga sa wo s di! Enough tears! Most of the time we try to have as few tears as possible, but they are as much a part of us as laughter. They can do a cleaning job that nothing else can touch. but like everything else, it can be overdone. Emotional people are usually caring. And it either makes life worthwhile or keeps it in such upheaval that nothing can be positive. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. We have to remember that enough is enough and try to balance our approach to living.
~ I heard....that I should be like a man without a country. I shed tears. ~
LITTLE WOUND
"A Cherokee Feast of Days" by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
Elder's Meditation of the Day - October 4
"Search for the truth. Indian values teach the holistic approach to the use of technology for mankind's good."
--Al Qoyawayma, HOPI
The Great Spirit had given us certain values to live by. If we learn to think in harmony with these values such as respect, love, patience, tolerance, commitment, trust, etc., we cannot get off track. No matter what we do, we will always be in harmony. For example, if we are respectful, then we will respect the earth, our children, our women, our men and ourselves. Indian values help us walk under the guidance of the Great Spirit.
My Creator, today I search for the truth, Your truth. Please let me see it.
*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*<<<=-=>>>*
THINK ON THESE THINGS
by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
Faith doesn't demand possible things -- it demands the impossible. When we have a promise in hand we have to look fear in the face and say this thing is going to happen.
Say to the mountain that needs to be moved to be gone. Whether it is disease that someone said is incurable, or a bank account the has no shape but bad, speak to it. But never forget to rejoice and to thank the Power for hearing our words.
When we do these things we are walking into the land of the impossible. Such fun to see things and circumstances conforming to our words of faith. Such delight to know we are not lost and we are not tied down by impossibility. We CAN be healed, we can be prospered and we can be free -- when we say it and believe it.
-----
Daily Relationship Reading
How successful do I consider our relationship right now? If I were to give it a grade, would it be an "A", a "C+", or an "F", or somewhere in between?
When I look at how things are going with my SO, and also look at how adequate I feel in the quality of love I'm giving, I may start feeling unhappy with both. I feel shortchanged, as if things should be better than they are.
If I were building a home with my SO, however, and doing all the work myself, would my results be as good as I'd like them in that endeavor? Likely not. The less experience I have with all the large and small details that go into constructing a solid, beautiful home, the more likely I am to make mistakes.
I may be able to contract out many of the jobs that go into building a home, but I don't have that option in building our relationship. What I can do is accept that my present difficulties may be a natural part of my inexperience. In doing so, I can see the advantages of learning from others' experiences, perhaps by talking to more experienced couples, studying books on relationships, attending relationship workshops, and putting in the same kind of effort I need to learn any new skills well.
Just for Today
When things in our relationship aren't as good as I'd like them to be, I'll remember that we both still have much to learn about how to "build" a good relationship.
Today I'll adopt the same attitude I use when learning any other important new skills, by searching out opportunities to expand my knowledge and understanding.
Most skilled tradesmen were apprentices at first.
-----
You are reading from the book Food for Thought.
Friendship
Through this program, we learn that we have choices. Not only can we choose what we will eat and what we will do, but also we can choose our friends. As we become honest, unaddicted people, we are able to relate to each other on a level of mutuality and admiration rather than out of dependency and fear. We gain the self-confidence to choose those with whom we enjoy spending time and sharing, rather than slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us.
Friends in OA have a special bond, since we share a common problem and a common solution. By putting principles before personalities, we avoid dependency and childish demands. Though we love and support each other, we do not cling together, since we are each dependent on a Higher Power. Our friends give us the gift of themselves, which shows us who we are.
Thank You for friendship.
-----
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
How easy the breath that kills a flame,
How hard to kindle that light again.
Cold words kill and kind words kindle,
By words withheld a dream may dwindle.
--Joan Walsh Anglund
How we treat the people we live with affects the happiness of our family. Just as a breath can blow out a flame, a mean remark can cast a shadow across a brother or sister's heart. People of all ages have left dreams behind because no one encouraged them. They are like candles snuffed out.
On the other hand, if we see a friend or family member feeling good about something they have done, we can learn to be happy for them. If we notice their excitement and encourage them with kind and sincere words, it will help their candle burn brighter. Sharing the happiness of others will make our own candles burn brighter, and it always feels good when we receive kind words ourselves.
In what ways can I bring light and warmth with my words today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
You should not have your own idea when you listen to someone.... To have nothing in your mind is naturalness. Then you will understand what he says. --Shunryu Suzuki
A man who is mistrustful and self-centered has difficulty listening to someone else. Perhaps a woman we are close to wants to be understood by us. But we do not hear her on her own terms because we are so intensely involved with our own shame. So we react to our feelings of guilt rather than really hearing what she wants to say about her experience. Or we may be so worried about who has control that we fail to receive the information we are being given. Then we respond with "Yes, but..."
True learning comes - like true intimacy - when we have an open mind. As we detach ourselves, separate from our own ego, we hear the other person better and grow more intimate.
May I learn to set aside my own self-centeredness. Today, I will grow more if I set my ego aside when others are talking to me.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Ambiguity means admitting more than one response to a situation and allowing yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may want something and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful and ugly. --Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them, need not create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time, but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting Through the Discomfort
Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way. --Beyond Codependency
Our goal in recovery is to make us feel comfortable, peaceful, and content. Happy. We want to be at peace with our environment and ourselves. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.
I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation. When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
Sometimes the process hurts. We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side. Help me, God; be open to feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy. While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by my friends, my Higher Power, the Universe, and myself.
I choose to be in places and situations and with people where I feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good and I trust that my heart will tell me where to go. --Ruth Fishel
God help me to stay sober and clean today!